Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Message for buzzy! The girls on the conception ivf thread ate worried about you cause they haven't heard from you since you said you were bleeding....

Hello all
About to drop off the face of the earth as I'm going on holiday for a fortnight, so wanted to check in and say hi! I'm really looking forward to meeting some of you on the 3rd.
Shaz I'm glad Shazlett wriggled into action to give you some reassurance! I haven't felt any movement yet, and I have been hyper alert to anything. That's why I'm also quite envious of you gin! Great news too Gin that you are 'normal' ;). I am classed as high risk as IVF pregnancy, but thankfully under Kings that means you can still be under the care of the midwives - you just need to pitch up to an appt around 25 weeks or so with the consultant, then you're released!
Mariana boo to the black, tired eyes and the stuffiness but glad to hear everyting is going well with the littl'un
Fab news re the scan Noks!
Crisps I hope you are sicky-free soon. You have my sympathy!
Hi Sweetie, fairy and ceara - hope you are all well.
Dildals I loved your description of the girls' scan! I hope you are having a lovely holiday. I'm also a fan of a spreadsheet :)

AFM, 17 weeks today and had a midwife appt this morning. We listened to the heartbeat which was pretty cool. It was quite fast so of course I googled it and thought I might be expecting a girl conveniently forgetting that there was a whole section debunking this theory in Bumpology. And it wasn't me that consulted some kind of mad Chinese online gender predictor which said I was having a boy, oh no, not me. For those that asked by the way, I ended up buying a Bugaboo Cameleon All Black. Top tip - Oxford Pram Centre! Saved £114 compared to the John Lewis price. Bargain.

Ha - laughing at the mad Chinese gender predictor!

I'm also beginning to think spreadsheet use = high anxiety levels. i.e. us control freaks threatened by the unpredictability of pregnancy.

I sent a gushing thank you card to my consultant today. I'm now slightly embarrassed that it was a bit OTT but it's gone now and I will never see her again!

Morning ladies

Back to earth with a bang this morning as the bus is stuck in traffic and I'm going to be late on my first day back. I've been holed up in family decorating cocoon for days. I'd forgotten what the outside world was like.

On the plus side our decorating is going so well. 2 rooms done in the time I'd allocated for 1 so we are thrilled.

Gin I might start renting out my parents. Could be a nice little earner for when I'm on mat leave . Congrats on your appt and for being 'normal' whatever that means! I hope you feel reassured. Lovely to hear the heartbeat too. I tear up at the thought of shazlett so I know how you feel.

Sweetie as Mariana said you are carrying and nurturing these babies and giving them everything they need to grow. I had a chat with my acupuncturist about this when we were considering options and she said that there is evidence now that so much of the mother crosses the placenta to the baby. They are already part of you. I'm slightly envious of your scans. Are they regular because of the twins?

Mariana I hope you and trenchlet are feeling better. I think your thank you card is sweet. I'm sure it will be much appreciated.

MrsH lovely to hear your little MissH's heartbeat too. Now that I'm feeling shazlett I realise that I was probably feeling her for a while. I'm intrigued by the Chinese predictor! I keep reading old wives tales but they contradict each other and because we don't want to know the sex I don't think I should delve too far into it all!

Hello to everyone else. I hope all those on holiday are having a lovely time

I held my 2 day old niece yesterday and realised that I've never even seen a 2day old baby before let alone held one. She is absolutely minute and so helpless. I can't get my head around having one inside me. I got abit choked when DP held her.

Crikey this is the slowest bus in the world. I'm never going to get to work.

Have a good day all. X

Hey all sorry for being a bit quiet; things just chugging along here. Still no movement this way......

sweetie I just wanted to add that I don't look at all like my mum anyway, so who's to know? They'll get your habits and characteristics and neuroses etc etc even if they don't get your looks.

shaz I'm jealous of all the nesting, and also the movement. Only a week till your scan, hey? :)

X

mariana at gushing card, it is good to show appreciation

shazza the outside world isn't always pretty, how sweet to hold your niece :)

My niece looks more like me than my sister, people don't think my sister and I are related, I also look more like my aunt than my mum, perhaps there is too much inbreeding in my family

twinks thank you for the message, there are reasons why I don't chat on the board, those that have been concerned about me have PMed me so I can not imagine that the others that worried

well thank goodness tomorrow is Friday :)

[http://us6.campaign-archive2.com/?u=be40f74b08699fc87ac4d37dc&id=2645b0cadb]]

shaz Sorry for remembering so late you asked for this. I thought it was in Dulwich but it is actually in Catford I think, so depends on easy you can get there.

(the NCT nearly new sale thing)

Hi all. Sorry for being quiet. Had our NT scan on Tues, appt took three hours but all was well. I always expect it to be bad news so it takes me a while to readjust when all is well! Both measure just about on date promised DH not to obsess about one being one day under and we're very lively. Consultant and registrar were ridiculously lovely...planning the birth (they are hoping for normal but talked a c section through just in case), scans (having one every four weeks unless I want more, bliss), drugs (four lots of the most expensive stuff they could find to stop the sickness...was still sick today but much better which is amazing!) and How Not To Worry too much. God bless the NHS, their advice was worth millions to me and I came out smiling, actually smiling for once!

Back to worrying ish now. Won't buy anything yet but do feel we can plan now so maybe that is progress.

buzzy glad things are ok, do you have a scan soon?

shazza you are sounding seriously mumsy in a lovely way! Your rents sound awesome. Put me on the list to hire them first for decorating please! My mum lives in Sydney and I miss her at times like this.

sweeite these are your babies. The most obvious thing that my daughter has inherited from me is impatience, and I'm sure that isn't genetic! I teach loads of kids from all sorts of backgrounds, and they all represent their parents in many ways. It's lovely.

mrsH, gin, expat etc and all of those of you who are a little further along, how are things? We need a recap of who is where as some people must be getting pretty close to d day now..anyone fancy doing it? .I am 13weeks tomorrow, how did that happen?!

mariana I think it's really important to remember the people who helped along the way. I bet the consultant was chuffed to bits with the card. I always get the impression that they really do care. Mine remembers so much about us that isn't even in our notes. I think you are right with your spreadsheet theory. Maybe if we all rated our anxiety and spreadsheet usage out of 10 I could put all the data in excel and create a nice little graph?

Hi dildals, ceara and anyone I have missed out.

I am of the belief that the NHS is the best thing about the UK. I have had exceptional care from them over the past few years - hence the gushing.

Scan sounds great Crisps. Glad to hear you were smiling!

Congratulations crisps :) wonderful news. You lucky twin people with all the scans... One day is nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Gettit? ;)

buzz me too, my niece looks exactly Luke me as a child, nothing like her parents... You doing ok on the crazy-scale?...

I'm 18 weeks. Still feels like a game/dream...

Mariana I think a gushing card is a lovely idea. You should have seen/read the card I wrote to our donor, but I don't care as it was very heartfelt.

Crisps I am pleased your appointment went so well and you came away with all the advice you did. My twins were so wriggly they couldn't get a fold measurement on one twin at all. My consultant appointment was a bit of a let down really, apart from finding out the monthly scans bit, as they didn't give me any info. I suppose I didn't ask much either so my own fault. I will ask more next time as it will be more real then I think. I am not knocking the NHS at all as I have been very well treated when it has been required too, as has my family too.

Shazza you mentioned seeing an acupuncturist, have you been tempted to continue since been pregnant? The only reason I ask is that I used to see a fertility/maternity reflexologist when TTC. I found these sessions great for relaxation and also an outlet for my worries and concerns to someone who could offer unconditional advice or just listen to my ramblings. I really miss these sessions and would love to go back but am don't want to mess things up with how I am getting on. I would never forgive myself if something went wrong following a session or something. Has anyone else continued any alternative medicine into their pregnancy?

Interesting comments on the genetics of looks, I am not hung on the looks thing much as I also know loads of friends who look nothing like their genetic offspring. I don't care as I am sure I will get "don't they look like you" comments regardless. I am just so pleased to be having these babies I don't care how it came about.

Hello, do you mind if I come to worry? I got my BFP a couple of days ago after DE IVF and I am incredibly nauseous, shattered etc and the line on the stick this morning was a lovely blood red but my temp was the lowest it's been since implantation (but certainly not low) and I've just found the slightest tinge of beige when I wipe. Is this normal seeing as my period would have been due yesterday? Do the temps mean my progesterone is falling and that I should ring my clinic to see about immediate use of pessaries?

Please help. Today I am ten days past 5-day transfer.

Thank you

Hi all - not much to report really but thought I would check in. My bump is now big enough that people look at it first rather than my first when I am out and about. If they ask they also look rather sceptical when I say I'm not due until mid-Oct! But I must admit pregnancy does look rather odd, I stare a bit myself when I see other pg women. It makes me realise how hard it must be to have a big beer belly if you are a man, it must really wreck your back.

I am still feeling really good apart from fatigue. Trying to start to cut back at work - and I made a spreadsheet to help me, having been inspired by you all!

crisps good to hear your scan was positive and you had such good care from the sonographer and consultant. I also envy your scans every 4 weeks but as I feel my little one wiggling and kicking every day I do not worry so much that something may have gone wrong. My mum lives far away as well so I know how it feels to miss her. However she is coming to stay for a few weeks around my EDD so I will have her when I really need her.

mariana I hope your and trenchlet's cold has got better! They can be so miserable. I am sure your consultant will just be very pleased to receive your card. Everyone likes to be thanked.

shazza sounds like a dream decorating jaunt really. You mentioned feeling weirdly jealous when hearing about instadiffers even though you are pregnant yourself. I was reading something about IVF the other day out of interest and started to feel really anxious that it is so unpredictable and likely to fail. I completely forgot for a moment that it did actually work for me and here I am 25 wks pg! I think if you have had subfertility it always is an emotional minefield for you regardless of your outcome.

buzzy I also don't look anything like my sister or one of my brothers, who both look more like our cousins. But people always say I look like my mum when I definitely don't, they just go on general appearance, voice and mannerisms.

ceara mrs keep dildals and gin hope you all are well.

juicy welcome to our thread! Are you not taking any progesterone? Most of us on here did for anything up to 14 wks pg (that was me, god I was sick of them by then). If not it may be a good idea to get a prescription, they certainly won't cause any harm.

Can you have a HCG blood test? That should help to reassure you. I temped for about a year before having IVF but not during the cycle itself but temps can be affected by all sorts of things, not just your hormones as I'm sure you know. Last night was a lot cooler than previous nights, at least where I am so maybe that made a difference.

A lot of us on this thread (including me) had spotting at some point in the first few months - and 'hint of beige' does not sound like spotting, it could be lots of things (including a decorating theme ).

Fairy, thank you for your reassurance. Yes, I'm on Agolutin progesterone injections in the bum and my coordinator emailed me to say that I should stick to the protocol until Monday's blood test and then she will ask me to take pessaries thrice-a-day. She said spotting is entirely normal and you're right: hint of beige is far more likely to be a shade of gloss in B&Q than anything to worry about. There's nothing there now when I wipe and I've had no cramping with it.

Congrats on your bump

sweetie does your donor know about your bfp?

Hi juicy - congratulations and welcome! Tell us your story... I think you should stop temping as i don't think it's helpful. As for the bleeding, loads and loads and loads of people have it, esp around the time of the first and second periods. We all freak out. Do you have a scan arranged? Blood tests to check the hcg is rising? And to check your progesterone is high enough? Oh, I've just seen the next post. Well that's good, and surely injections must be getting enough progesterone in. Hang with us. We are all mental, for sure until 12 weeks, and then a little not much less

I think we see shades that other people wouldn't notice...

Thanks, Keepitgoing, I am more worried that my rather severe nausea has disappeared. I know it's early for sickness but boy! have I had it over the past four days. Lovely, reassuring rising vomit. And today it's gone

Hi all. Flying visit as just back from my last bit of work travel and am cream crackered.

Juicy welcome and congratulations! Your sicky feeling would have been from the hcg injection and/or supplements. Pregnancy symptoms don't usually start until around 7 weeks so fret not. Ha! Spotting at around 5 weeks sounds perfect to me - something snuggling in there.

Shazza We've all struggled so much to get where we are it will probably always stay with us. I find group meetings of friends with kids much much easier now I'm heavily pregnant but feel jealous of those who've popped out 2 or 3 without apparently any issue. One of my nieces is pregnant and she's so happy to be pregnant the same time as me and thinks it's a fantastic rich environment for her baby. She makes me feel really small minded but I'm even jealous of her! She's so young and can have all the children she wants. I am bitter and twisted and evil.
Also, with your big scan coming up you're going to be anxious. Roll on next week. Is it next week? I think you also asked about the uppababy. A friend has one. Don't know what model it is but it's a tank. She lives in a loft with an industrial sized lift so you don't really notice. It is a beautiful pram though and I would have gone for the same if they sold them over here.

Sweetie it's totally true about offspring not looking the same. I'm one of 6 and we all are different heights, hair colours and build. A friend had Greek donors (both) and she's rosy faced and blonde but her little boy is totally her son - it's the little mannerisms that do it. Also you switch on genes when pregnant so definitely have a role in what they'll be.

Great news about your scan crisps
I think someone else had a scan but can't find the post.

I am 30 weeks tomorrow. Getting hopeful and more confident but also having massive meltdowns. I'm feeling very emotional about my little boy - we didn't get so far with him. I'm crying even as I type this (looking like a nut in the office).

Hello to everyone else. Sorry to miss lots of news - will have a read through during the weekend.

Oh al... Well done for getting to 30 weeks, and sorry you are sad about your little boy. I'm sure he's watching out over his little brother/sister. X

Hey expat. I totally get it about missing your little boy. We had completely processed and moved on and have now found that a new pregnancy just makes it all very difficult. However I do think that having that amount of love and care just shows what a wonderful parent you will be. Don't feel bad about being sad, it's natural. As long as you're able to be happy about this baby at the same time, it's all good I think.

juicy when you have a spare day or two, see if you can find our old thread...same name as this one without the part two. If you read through everything and follow it through you'll see that most of us have had disappearing symptoms, spotting etc at one point or another. It won't stop you worrying (trust me nothing will if you are like us!) but hopefully it will give you some reassurance. Practically everyone here is From IVF and years of ttc so you're in the right place. Try to distract yourself with something inane if you can, at this stage you just need to let time tick on, do you have a date for your scan yet? I found getting to the first scan the most difficult as I just did t feel pregnant most of the time. However I am now extremely up diffed with twins with horrific all day sickness, winner! Hth.

Hi everyone else! Will post more over the weekend. Have a blessed hour to myself before DH and dd arrive back home so am eating some prawns (not technically good for preggos but it's my current craving and I'll take all the calories I can keep down at the moment) and catching up on big brother. Have just realised I sound like a right loser. Hey ho!

juicy as everyone said before, don't worry about the spotting. The meds have made your uterus the most blood rich part of your body, ready for a little embryo to embed, so it is not uncommon to shed some of that blood.

Expat, Crisps & Dildals, such reassuring words: thank you.

Congratulations on twins, crisps, what a blessing Did you have early strong symptoms? Just askin'....

Expat, I don't know your history or anything but it sounds as though you've experienced a terrible tragedy at some point. I am sorry

Hello sausage and congratulations. I'm a bit late in saying spotting is so common and also hint of beige is probably not even spotting! Erratic nausea has been a common theme on this thread so far too, a good focus for mentalling though!

al, coincidentally tomorrow is the anniversary of the due date of my third baby. I won't mention it to anyone but will be doing a lot of thinking about how that baby should have been one tomorrow. I have felt that finally getting my living baby has made me so much better mentally but it doesn't make me forget the others, their due dates and loss dates will probably always resonate with me. Did you have any counselling? Maybe ask to be referred to the bereavement team? I had a few sessions with a specialist counsellor which helped me order some of my thoughts. I don't think you ever get over a stillbirth though, just learn to live with the sadness. Things got very stirred up for me at about 36 weeks or so, just because I'd got so far and was sure it would go wrong, I had a lot of fear but did a lot of crying on midwives and they were very sympathetic, so don't hold it in. Sympathies to you though, I really do know how you feel.

On a brighter note, we siblings look very different in height, build and colouring and none of us are particularly like either parent.

No cold here anymore, Trenchlet has been a joy today, she has a very quiet little voice and we have intense chats about things. She is on the cusp of starting to laugh and seems to find my singing amusing. She has such a serious expression but such a lovely smile - it's worth all the mentalling!

Just dropping in quickly to say hello to juicy and congratulations on the news from your test. Sorry to add my voice a bit late in the day to all those who've already said that spotting and fluctuating symptoms are a common experience, though it doesn't make it any less terrifying.

For what it's worth, I got properly sore breasts for precisely 2 days following my BFP at 9 days post 5 day transfer, at which point they decided to keep calm and carry on, and haven't hurt since. I spent the next 3 weeks waiting for my scan totally symptom-free and spotting, a complete nervous wreck convinced the scan would show there was nothing in there. Contrary to my expectations, lo and behold at 6+6 all was well, and little one was still hanging in there OK on Monday when I had another scan. I am currently (fingers crossed) 10+1. I still haven't been sick. Nor do my breasts hurt. Only the tiredness is doing what it says on the tin in the pregnancy books.

Distraction is your friend while you wait it out, though I am rubbish at following this advice myself, so apologise for the hypocritical suggestion. It is a lovely day here and I hope the sun is also shining where you are and you can get outside and enjoy.

I don't think a temperature is low unless it's below your coverline and even then you need to see a trend, not one day's anomaly. I tend to think monitoring temps after IVF is the road to madness but that is just how I found it affected me, so I stopped before test day.

I will catch up with the rest of the thread later today - sorry, I have been lurking occasionally this week but been too wiped out after work to post!