Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

thats a bit odd, I was told to MAKE SURE I had a booking in appointment for 10 weeks as they HAVE to do blood tests by then everywhere is different I suppose, where is FMC its near Harley Street isn't it??

When I had my last booking in the midwife kept telling me not to worry etc etc, like I was some loon, so I asked her how many kids she had, she told me none, I thought well how the hell can you advise me when you haven't been pregnant let alone miscarried I found her patronising, the next day my baby died I'm hoping I don't get the same the woman

Buzzy and ceara hurrah for cleanliness and no spotting.

Ceara I'm surprised that you haven't been able to talk through things with midwife. Glad you found someone to help though. I went to FMC for harmony. It is on Harley street and I can't recommend them enough. To qualify for harmony 'deal' of £180 for harmony and NT scan plus another dating scan you must book and go between 10-11 weeks they do a scan take blood give you pics . Then you go back in 2 weeks for harmony results and detailed NT scan. They advised me not to have NT scan and bloods at the hospital as well as the results could worry us unnecessarily. So we went for NHS scan but opted out of tests. That was fine with the hospital and the dr there agreed that the harmony is great and said no point in having a test that is 95% accurate when in 2 days we will get the results of one that is over 99% accurate. However she did off the record tell us that all soft markers looked fine and we had nothing to worry about. The harmony was fine the NT scan at FMC was very reassuring AND they gave us a DVD. In fact I ended up having 3 scans cause the first time I went they dated me at under 10 weeks and they didn't want to risk a false result so I had to go back. Best £180 I spent. If you want to go book now cause you will have to go in a week or so.

Buzzy the wait is hard but as keep reminded me you have a MW appt between 12-20 weeks and also all of us to help reduce the mentalling. You had such a tough time before its no wonder you are worrying now. I hope you have a supportive MW this time. No one should be made to feel like a loon. This is an incredibly worrying experience for you.

Ceara I was born like my grandma I think. I've always been abit old fashioned!

It.s really sad you didn't get the support you needed. I think we get spoiled by the understanding and empathy of the fertility nurses (i know i am, the two looking after me throughout have been beyond amazing) and it's a bit of a shocker encountering the real world again. I hope you feel better supported this time. I guess there's an element of luck to getting a midwife who "gets" you.

Not sure what is the big excitement about the booking appt blood tests, as we've had most of them already. I already know (happy happy joy joy) I am rhesus negative, also immune to rubella and don't have HIV or hepatitis. So the only possible big news would be anaemia. (Or syphilis... - but DH would have some SERIOUS explaining to do in that case.) The midwife was adamant scan first, then booking, despite my mild protesting that I thought booking came first, so I would be grumpy if the hospital said otherwise when I pitched up for the scan. If we make it to 12 weeks of course.

The FMC is in Harley Street, shaz I think you said you went there? It was recommended by the ARC, for what that's worth.

SHaz you are psychic. Cross post!

Hi folks, just dropping in as feel rubbish today...probably because I felt quite good from Mon to Weds and told DH this last night, therefore jinxing it!

Forgive my ignorance but what is harmony? I have my NT scan next week, but is this something else?

mariana I know you're normally the oracle but have you tried one of those snot extracting pipette things for trenchlet ? My Dd had terrible congestion and bronchiolitis at the start and it really helped. Absolutely disgusting though! One of the only useful things my hv ever told me too was to give her her night time feed in the bathroom with the shower on...the steam seemed to help on the bad nights. Hope it improves soon!

noks have you had your scan? How was it? I have cried with fear at every one so far, they don't seem to get any easier. I do enjoy the relaxing hour or two of confidence they give me before I get back to mentalling though .

Evening all
Crisps sorry you are feeling rubbish, I am sure you haven't jinxed things. Symptoms seem to come and go I think.

Mariana how is Trenchlet doing, hope she is a bit better. I imagine it is really tough for the little ones when their noses are blocked up when trying to feed. Poor little love.

Buzzy it is very odd how booking in differs. Mine was done same week I had my 7 week scan. I have my next appointment with the midwife tomorrow at 12 weeks. Good news on no spotting post hair washing.

On the teas maid front I remember my Nan had one when we were kids. I remember it being really noisy, gurgling away for ages before the brew was ready. I think it would be a good idea for nursing Mum, although a thermos would be significantly cheaper.

My tummy has been really sore, feels bruised but can not see anything, since my scan on Monday. I thought tummy scans would be much easier than the fanjocams but now I am having second thoughts. I had thought the probe would be skimmed over my tummy rather than jabbed and ground into my back bone, ok I exaggerate but it was quite a rough experience.

We have started looking at buggies, OMG where to start??? DH wants to go for a Bugaboo Donkey even though it won't fit through our front door. I have been recommended a Out n About Nipper, Dildals I think this is what you are considering, by a child minder who lives on our street. Another twin Mum has recommended a Mini City Jogger and I quite like the look of the Oyster Max. I know we have ages to decide so I will continue to check them all out.

buzzy and ceara so pleased to hear there is no spotting at the mo. Buzz I always knew washing hair was bad for us! I really hope you don't get the same MW. Mine just looked at me when I went on about how worried I was, not v useful.

ceara not toooo long until your scan now.

My next scan isn't until I'm 21 and a half weeks. It feels agggges away. I do have a MW appointment at 18 weeks, so am hoping we'll get to hear the heartbeat then.

I know this sounds mental as I'm only 14+5, but I've been feeling flutterings for a few weeks. It could well be wind, but seems to be getting more definite... It's more noticeable if I'm still, or after I've massaged in my anti stretchmark oil. Guess I'll find out later on if it really is movement.

didals it must super scary if one stops moving, but yay for desk kicking! I reckon it's fine to call the MW if you are worried and it's worth it to put your mind at rest.

Poor little trenchlet mariana. Do you have one of those snot sucker things?! I see crisps has recommended one... I honestly don't know if I could use it!

keep how far along are you now? I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's not spd too.

Ahhhh a teasmaid, now we're talking! I'd love one, even though our house is tiny so it's really not far to the kitchen!

shazz good luck with the 'rents! Just think of all the DIY they're going to do for you

I have a consultants appointment next week. Apparently I have to see one, as they won't let ivf pregnancies go over their due date. Have any other ivf singleton preggos been told this?! I'm not sure if it's just my hospital....

X post sweetie waves. We may be getting a 2nd hand bugaboo bee from a friend. I'm quite excited as we couldn't justify the cost of it brand new!

I just plan to take my green forms from last time as the answers haven't changed I don't know if I would have the Harmony test as the eggs we used were of a 25 year old but would be keen for my 20 week with them, do they do reassurance scans between 13 to 20 weeks

crisps sorry you don't feel so good

gin I think the reasoning behind not 'letting' IVF pregnancies go over their due date is that because you know for certain the date of conception if labour is delayed after 40 weeks it can't be attributed to wrong dating. However they of course cannot force you to be induced at 40 weeks or at all, it is entirely up to you. I don't see why you need to see a consultant either since you can still just make a birth plan with your midwife that says you will be induced at 40 plus 1 or 40 plus 2 or whatever. I had a friend who did not want to be induced and gave birth at 43 weeks to a perfectly healthy baby. I would probably not want to go beyond 40 plus 2 just because I would go mental at that point!

You could actually be feeling movement at 14 weeks, I think I could that early but wasn't entirely sure until about 20 weeks.

On booking appointments, I had mine at 10 weeks then my NT scan at 13 weeks along with bloods. I discussed the results at my 16 week appointment with the MW. The booking appointment is really more administrative than anything else so there is no reason why they couldn't post pone it until after your NT and bloods. This is not to excuse MW who are not sympathetic or patient when you want to discuss your worries of course. I don't have another appointment with the MW until 28 weeks because it isn't my first pg! I had a scan at 21 weeks and then that's it for those. But I don't feel worried at all as long as I keep feeling kicking and wiggling like dildals.

shazza sorry so you got your NT scan and the Harmony test for £180 and you had to book for another scan??? Could that be your 20 week scan?? Am I understanding that correctly??? I am now considering it as that is a good deal

X posts with gin and sweets

sweets they really press down on the tummy scans, I prefer good old dildo cam to be honest

gin I'm ready to take on the MW's at my hospital, I already seem to know most of them I like the sound of flutterings, mine will be wind as I'll still be on the progesterone [wind]

I'd forgotten about the snot extractors. I might get one tomorrow if we have another bad night. I was considering sucking the snot out of her weeny little nose with my mouth but thought I might hurt her (that thought alone demonstrates how much I love my baby!)

Scans always feel rough to me. I had bleeding after one once.

I don't understand people who resist induction after 40 weeks. I was desperate to get the baby out by about 35 weeks.

morning all!
gin i'm 17 weeks. I can't believe you're feeling movement already, you lucky thing. I expect it is that, if it doens't feel like farts... I am also getting a free bugaboo bee, so we'll be snap! I also wouldn't have got it for myself.

I find it a bit annoying that they should treat IVF pregnancies differently. Surely now that we're knocked up there is no reason to treat it differently. I just want to be normal... with extra scans I think that this is different across the country - some are made to have consultant care all through, others just regular.

shaz I think you'll find nighttimes out drunken will be before 18 years from now... I have my 17 week appointment today - nervous of course, but possibly less than previous appointments.

ceara good luck for monday. I know it's scary...

buzz glad you got clean, and no spotting. How are you feeling at the moment.

noks are you there? I really hope the scan was ok the other day.

Morning ladies

Keep good luck with appt today. You'll be fine. You get to hear the heartbeat and that's so exciting.

I'm v jealous of the free bugaboo bees being dished out. I keep coming back to that one. It's titchy and very light. The parental unit are chipping in so we could afford it although my mum has now poo poo'd the idea of buying one on eBay. She has read that some unscrupulous tykes are selling fake ones and all sorts of horrible things have happened. Very worrying. Why would stupid people put babies lives at risk for the sake of a quick buck?

Mariana it melts my heart when you speak about trenchlet. I wish I could meet her. I can't believe that I'm actually going to have a real live babee very soon to love so much. I hope she is feeling better.

Buzz FMC do scans for £100 I think. I had 3 scans there cause I was too early for harmony on the first one. They still only charged £180. But remember to get that deal you have to go between 10-11 weeks. You can have harmony later but it's full whack and I think that's £400.

Fairy. Lovely to hear from you. You ok? Are you around on the 3rd aug? I also meant to ask you if you are still riding your bike?

Gin soooo jealous of the movement. Although now I'm wondering if I'm actually feeling shazlett. I just assume its wind! I've left the Olds to get started today. Hopefully they will have finished by the time I get back .

Sweetie sorry you are sore. There is a lot going on down there and all that poking around in a tender area is bound to have an affect. My bro has a single city jogger and likes it although my mum thinks its abit heavy when she looks after his Dd.

Crisps. Sorry you are feeling rubbish. That's pants. Hope it's better today. The harmony test is a blood test to screen for trisomies. It is currently only tested in USA so the blood is taken here and sent there. Results take 2 weeks. It is over 99% accurate. It's tests fetal DNA in mothers blood so I don't think you can do it for twins. You can read about it here
www.ariosadx.com/. Although this is the company who invented it so it is very glossy. There is a good MN thread about it. Be warned though some people on there had some terrible experiences with the prof at FMC. I didn't see him. Apparently his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. For me it was fab. My risk was 1:41 with no testing, 1:871 with NT scan and combined bloods but went to 1:10000 with a negative harmony test so I was more than relieved.

Ceara I agree that booking appt was administrative. Apparently dildals was given loads of stuff but I wasn't . I do have a very nice MW though so am lucky.

I feel very loving today. I'm totally in love with DP at the mo although he is a massive clutz. Last night he spent over an hour cooking dinner for me and the Olds and then dropped THE WHOLE LOT on the floor as he was dishing up!

quick question, who was it who said that their council had free nappy samples? Where do I find that on the council website?

Oh and finally dildals where did you find details of the nearly new sale on the 29th? Is it NCT? I can't find it on their website.

That's it from me. Over and out!

I lied! just wanted to add that although I don't want to steal Noks' thunder just to reassure everyone that her scan was great. All clear. She texted me.

Thanks for that shazza. Feel rubbish today so off work, they are a bit at people taking time off when pregnant but I really do feel shocking. Doesn't feel serious though, just a bug type thing I think.

noks if you are lurking have a virtual high five for the scan. Keep thinking of you. I'm 12wks today so you can't be far behind, thought it would feel like more of a milestone but it doesn't yet. Hope you are all well.

Twin people we're thinking of getting a mountain buggy duet if anyone's seen them? Thin enough to go through narrow doors, side by side, can take two maxi cosis too which is so convenient when they are still ickle. Expensive but plan on reselling it afterwards. Any thoughts? Obv won't be buying anything for a good while yet, but planning is fun!

Just to say all is good at my 17 week check. Heard hb, uterus the correct height, urine fine. He wasn't v interested in my low muscle ligament pain, but I think that's improving. I swam yesterday and it was fine.

crisps congrats on reaching 12 weeks. I think you'll feel the NT scan more of a milestone.

Ooh, I bought some baby socks. My one and only purchase till we go home. They look quite big compared to Kip's current size. So much growing for the next 23 weeks

shaz do these fake prams collapse or summat? I would def buy a second hand one, just check the condition and seller out.

Well done on the scan noks!! :)

Oh and at dh dropping dinner shaz! Did you have to get take out?

crisps the mountain buggy is on our list too. on the multiples page and pushchair page there is lots of discussions on double buggies. we are at a similar stage so are only looking too but I am going to do a comparison spreadsheet on the ones we fancy. I am happy to share with you when done

Argh Shazza! Poor DP, did you scrape it off the floor and eat it?!

Good news on the scan Noks.

Good news on less pain keep

Hope you're feeling better soon crisps

I hate buying things like buggies. You dither for ages then order one before suddenly discovering loads of bad reviews! Before I bought my Maclaren there was an incident of one cutting a child's finger off! I still bought it though.

(Trenchlet is such a little love, she's so responsive and smiley now. They really are worth every minute of anxiety!)

So true Mariana. I woke up last night in a panic about whether there's a bar for a toddler to stand on the pram when you have another baby. I'm 42 fgs!! Little Trenchlet sounds gorgeous. These 10 weeks can't pass quickly enough for me! Bleugh at the thought of sucking it out yourself.

Shazza, good plan to hang the chassis downstairs. I suspect slings are going to feature heavily in your life. Poor dp at dropping the food. I know what you mean about feeling loved up. Long may it last!

Brilliant news about your scans Noks and Keep.

Buzzy and Ceara, glad to hear that you're both sweet smelling as well as spotting free. How's it going today?

Crisps, you did the right thing to stay at home. Work will survive.

I'm sitting here with feet and I think bum poking out all over the place. It's quite uncomfortable and the mind boggles at having two in there doing this.

noks yay on the scan!

keep good news on the 17 wks appt and that your ligament pain is improving.

shazza I love your 'loving mood' with DP. You must be getting into the good hormones phase of pregnancy. I have been feeling generally very up beat for the last 6 weeks - I had a major upset at work this week and it barely registered on my sunny consciousness, which is definitely not the normal me!

I am still riding my bicycle and have no problems but Cambridge is very cycle friendly (flat and lots of cycle paths) and I have no heavy traffic to contend with. I cycled up to 3 days before going into labour with DS but that was partly because he was still quite high up then and so it wasn't uncomfortable. Some women find their babies 'engage' quite early and then cycling and even walking gets much more difficult.

mariana your Trenchlet does sound wonderful. I had my first dream where the baby was an entity in it the other night. Someone told me I had had her already but she was somewhere else. I was then in an absolute frenzy to see her but can't remember the weird convoluted explanation as to why that wasn't possible. It wasn't distressing though.

Although I completely understand the desire just to get the baby out by those last weeks, I didn't want to be induced because I wanted to avoid interventions as much as possible and because the drugs they use for induction can result in very strong contractions, which then necessitate an epidural, which can lead to more intervention etc. As it was I went into labour on my due date and still ended up with loads of intervention and an EMCS but that is just how unpredictable the whole business is.

crisps I'm sorry you're feeling rotten but as you say it is probably a bug and not the pregnancy.

All this talk of buggies makes me want to buy a new one but then when I actually go and look at the mind boggling array and prices I break out in a cold sweat and go back to MN.

fairy, I know, I'm being disingenuous really. I suppose as I was induced after my spontaneous labour stopped I have no experience of successful natural labour, so in my experience better an intervention heavy labour at 40 weeks than the same thing at 42 weeks. I am rubbish'at childbirth!

Trenchlet's just screamed her way round Sainsburys to the extent that I forgot most of the things I needed. We are not such good friends now.

mariana :-) I know what you mean. My labour with DS just went on and on and on and by the time I was 10cm dilated it had been 48 hours since my waters broke and DS and I were just too tired to keep going. So when people talk about 'pushing' and the baby just 'popping out' I have no comparable experience. But I am keen to see whether it works this time! My cervix did fully dilate so it should be much quicker this time. But I agree not wanting an intervention filled delivery at 42 weeks so I am planning to arrange that I will go to 40 plus 1 and then have an ELCS.

Sorry re Sainsbury's screaming, if I had been there I would have smiled sympathetically at you.

You should be ok this time, most people are usually quicker second time round and at least you got to 10cm on your own so you know it all works!