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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

"Being made a fuss of" - does this actually happen...?

52 replies

User21276799 · 22/05/2013 17:00

I am clearly in a mood this afternoon, but I'm getting on for 18 weeks and still feeling pretty rough, TBH. Every time I read about/talk to anyone about pregnancy sickness/feeling crap the advice seems to be 'just let your DH/family/friends make a fuss of you' and 'just let people do things for you so you can rest'.

Does this actually happen in RL? I'm expecting DC2, DH and I both work full time, and while friends and family are pleased we're having another baby I don't think it's really featuring that high on their radar at the moment, so I'm certainly not being 'made a fuss of' (even - or especially - by DH!) and don't expect to be ffs. My DD is a toddler so not really many opportunities to rest and I'm not going to ask people to put themselves out so I can have a nap!

Is everyone else really being treated like porcelain and getting people cooing and fussing over their expanding stomach, and being tucked up in bed with a cold flannel on their brow? Am I really just a cow if they are?

OP posts:

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Fuckwittery · 22/05/2013 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yonionekanobe · 22/05/2013 17:07

Nope and I'm not sure it happened with DD either

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 22/05/2013 17:09

Well DH made a fuss of me when he could, took our toddler out on his own at the weekends so that I could sleep and rest. And if we were staying with my parents then they helped out with DS1 so that I could get a bit of a break.

When I was pregnant with our eldest DH did made a huge fuss of me. We had only just got married and we were on cloud nine for the whole pregnancy :)

shellandkai · 22/05/2013 17:10

I'm on my 2nd too I know exactly how you feel, lol x

NeedSomeSun142 · 22/05/2013 17:11

I was made a fuss of in the beginning, then think I milked it too much as he got fed up wish I'd of saved my whining til now hehe

Guntie · 22/05/2013 17:15

I am pregnant with my first and i've been made a huge fuss of... I feel very lucky and really appreciate it. I am not sure it would be possible with subsequent pregnancies but I will always remember how kind my DH and family were to me this time..

UniqueAndAmazing · 22/05/2013 17:17

it happens if you make it happen.

I made sure that i threw (hauled) myself onto the settee when i got home from work, grabbed the remote first and gave DH instructions before falling asleep.
i would be woken by a big plate of food.

badguider · 22/05/2013 17:21

I'm not being treated like porcelain and wouldn't want to be but I am taking naps when I need them and taking responsibility for looking after my own health. DH has always done more cooking than me but he now does pretty much all of it.

If you need a nap and there's another adult in the house with your DD then just go and take that nap.

Between weeks 9 and 18 roughly I would get migraines and puke if I didn't get enough sleep so it's not really an option to 'not put people out' as a migraine results in around 12-24hrs in bed and missed work so a 1hr nap is a minor inconvenience to avoid that.

drawohamme · 22/05/2013 17:53

I've been made a big fuss of, bit worried how ill cope being treated like normal again ;s

Kelly1814 · 22/05/2013 18:00

I'm 20 weeks pregnant, working 12 hour days, and my work don't know, so safe to say no fuss being made of me.

I actually like it this way, am dreading everyone knowing and the inevitable constant barrage of comments and judgements. I do not want to talk about being pregnant non stop!

I ony told my mum and dad this week and already the constant stream of questions is driving me mad!

SeriousStuff · 22/05/2013 18:06

I have to keep reminding DH that I'm pg! We're in the middle of moving house and sometimes I just get on with packing, cleaning etc. without thinking about the strain I must be putting on myself but have been quite exhausted and had to tell my DH in the end to keep an eye on me as I'm sure I shouldn't be doing this much. Don't get me working, he's a great husband, but being pg doesn't mean different treatment!

I've been staying with my parents until I move in, while he's already in the new house and my parents have been very attentive. My dad worries about me taking the dog for a walk and my mum always needs to make sure I'm eating ok.

StuckOnARollercoaster · 22/05/2013 18:39

Nothing here that feels like the statement 'being made a fuss of', but I am taking things slow and not in a hurry to do housework. I do feel that DP has stepped up - done more cooking and cleaning, but without it feeling like a drama.
I am lucky that I don't have any bad pregnancy symptoms like some women get, and suspect that if I did and asked for more help I'd get it - but I would need to ask for specific actions as DP and family wouldn't automatically know what I need or what I would appreciate them doing.
Don't worry about the moodiness - that is a typical symptom - and maybe if you can be specific it will get your folks rallying round you a little more...

Ezza1 · 22/05/2013 18:44

"Does this actually happen in RL?"

NO IT SODDING DOESN'T

RememberingMyPFEs · 22/05/2013 18:50

DH made a fuss for the first 4 weeks then back to normal.

I'm 30 weeks now and he threw put the dog on the bed this morning right on my bump (by accident). When i said it hurt he said "its not that bad, you'll be fine' and went to get a shower... Ripped him a new one when he got out gotta love a bit of pregnarage!
To be fair to him he didn't realise he'd put the dog on the bump as I was under the duvet, but it bloody hurt!

Lj8893 · 22/05/2013 18:50

I'm pregnant with my first and dp is being very supportive and happy etc but I wouldn't say he's making a fuss over me.

My mum however is loving the fact she can make a huge fuss over me, I don't see her very often (normally once a month ish but now its more like once a fortnight) and every time I see her she buys me maternity clothes, anything i need or she decides I need, takes me out for dinner/ lunch and just generally makes a big fuss. (I don't expect any of it and am very very grateful to her)

But I know that will soon stop when there is someone much smaller and yummier to make a big fuss over instead haha!

SourSweets · 22/05/2013 18:58

I have a similar thread going on right now. No fussing being done here (apart from the guilt-inducing but delicious homemade popcorn I've just been handed). But no, in my experience it does not happen.

notsoold · 22/05/2013 19:06

Not in my household. The only concession is that dh and ds will bring the shopping from the car....
They are oblivious to anything help that I might need.
My dog is the only one treating me differently....:)

pumpkinsweetie · 22/05/2013 19:19

With pfb and dd2 yes, with dd3 &4 no unfortunetly, no one can be bothered once the novelty has worn off
Now expectant with dc5, i don't expect anything less than being treated like an unpregnant woman

NeedSomeSun142 · 22/05/2013 19:25

Think it happens more with first child, after that no1 gives a shit

forevergreek · 22/05/2013 19:27

I have to say yes.

Dh treated me like I was going to give birth any day from about week 4! X2 pregnancies. I only cooked basics, cleaner was promptly hired, dh insisting I didn't make bed or get within a mile from a cleaning sponge. Once bump appeared he used to sing to baby!!

But tbh he's always been similar anyway.

gertrudestein · 22/05/2013 19:51

No! You can't 'let'' anyone make a fuss. You have to make them ...

SeriousStuff · 22/05/2013 21:18

I'm glad I'm not the only one! Sat here at home, hoping for some attention I was imagining everyone else out there with their feet up, their dh feeding them grapes...

Teaandflapjacks · 22/05/2013 22:13

Sometimes... my DH works away mon to thurs most weeks so I just have to get on with it, including walking dog 4 times a day with 6 lots of stairs up and down to apartment - 29 weeks now. When he gets back he alternates between treating me like china and thinking i have the constitution and strength of an Ox. But I have found some people can be terribly kind - like today I had finished the supermarket shop and was waiting at the customer service desk for something, this very sweet lady in front insisted I go first because of my bump. I got a bit teary because this is in Germany and honestly people never do things like that here. I don't know why but the kindness of random strangers always touches me - preggers or not.

DIYandEatCake · 22/05/2013 22:55

Ha! I wish!

rrreow · 23/05/2013 12:08

Big fat noooooope. DH will do stuff if I ask for it so I can't complain really. But none of the unasked/spontaneous "Oh you put your feet up, let me do that"

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