It's the Posifrickingtivity/Laura Ashley Skirt Graduate Thread!

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new Thread!

I rang my mum and sister just after getting my BFP - they were wonderful with the MMC and we told DH's parents too (who said 'oh well we won't get excited yet' which REALLY gave me some rage).

I'm starting to believe this baby will stick around - such a strong HB which I limit myself to listening to every other day so as not to devlop a doppler obsession.

Sorry to those who are feeling rotten with bugs/MS, hope you are getting lots of sympathy and being well looked after.

I'm supposed to be going to Abu Dhabi for work on Monday and back all in less than 48 hours, when I found out I was pregnant I've been dreading this trip, it would be totally exhausting at the best of times with a 2.30am departure flight back to the UK but it's looking like it might be cancelled and I am so glad. Fingers crossed as staying up to 11pm last night has made me feel like death today!

bump - another vote for the totally normal. I got pig sick with jealousy at nursery this morning when I saw a 6 month pregnant mum with her 18 month old. All I could think was "have you not heard of contraception?" and was appalled that she could get pregnant so quickly. How bad is that? I also have refused to even acknowledge the birth of two friends' babies because in my twisted head I don't think they deserve it.

aofie - I also get the guilt as well. I've got pregnant three times in the last year, so although the 2 MMCs were shit in everyway, I feel guilty that I can get pg so easily, when I know friends having IVF (and one who can't have IVF because she HAS got pg, it just took 18 months, and she then lost it).

baking - I'm a strong one for not telling parents, even if you are close. It depends on the parent, obviously, but i know some that have been so devastated at the loss of a grandchild that they haven't been there 100% for their child. I want to spare them the pain lost hope/expectation that comes with the miscarriage. I know they still feel pain at my suffering, and probably find it quite a lot deal with in one go, but they never had their chance to get their hopes up, iyswim.

Concerned that the peeing intensity has slackened off - only had to get up once in the night. Eating like a horse though and my appetite is insatiable. GP appt tomorrow to get referred for a scan (I hope).

How you feelingly the min diy?

blackholes DH and I have been having our first ever arguments lately and I just think this whole PG has been a strain so far, mentally and physically (think its also pressure from the fact his parents are acting up) things seem to have picked up this week so hopefully they will for you too

bump snap here too...i takeDS to tumbletots and there is a woman there who was on my antenatal classes, she is abt 6-7m PG and it makes me upset every week I can't look at her as she is having the baby/age gap I would have had if I didn't MC in December...madness when I am PG and happy!

Congrats on 12w garden

baking I couldn't not tell my mum
As she noted my bloody cycle so knew when to ask!

Thanks everyone shell I think that's what it is with the age gap, I really wanted a smaller gap but it seems really churlish to think that way, I need a good smack!

baking I told my dad as I had to explain why I wouldn't be going o slimming world with him. If I hadn't had to do that I think I would have waited to wait as he has enough on his plate without worrying about me too. Also he finds it really difficult to keep a secret!

Hey ladies

Super quick post as I'm sneakily logging on at work. I am getting my knickers in a right twist here and wondered if you could help me :-(

I have had lower back ache all day - is this a symptom of pregnancy or is something horrible about it happen :-(

Xx

Hi Mummy - I think lower back pain is normal, especially if you've done some lifting/gardening in last few days as you could have strained ligaments (more relaxin hormone starting to make things go stretchy)

I did alot of digging on Saturday and had sore back through to Tuesday as a result.

My mum arrived on Saturday and pretty much guessed straight away (though she did not stop me digging up the garden while she palyed with DS) Not telling anyone unless the alternative is to lie to their face.
Going up to Edinburgh with DS tomorrow to stay with DSis and DB, not sure if I'll manage to keep schtum, but I'd rather not get their hopes up if I can help it.

Mummytoark- sounds totally normal. In preganncy your ligaments all get softer so pains and aches in back and pelvis are all normal.
Hope it goes away though.

I have not told anyone about this pregnancy apart from my DH. My mother was horrendous when I told her about my MC in January. She was obvioulsy surprised as that was the first she had heard of that pregancy but she had a right go at me about my finances and work. Really inappropriate and I didn't speak to her for a few weeks afterwards and she has still not acknowleged that she was totally crap. Also when my sister announced her preganncy a few weeks ago neither her or my mum acknowledged that it may have been hard for me to hear that news. Still makes me rage so best not think about it right now.
Luckily I haven't come across many pregnant women recently so not feeling the emotions that some of you are. But its so understanable. I was one of those who previously posted scans on facebook, there will be no announcement this time. Also if and when I get a bump I think I will be much mroe aware of other women who look at it sadly as I know I certainly did that in Jan and Feb time.

7 days till Harmony test and rescan at the FMC- so so scared about the results. I have convinced myself that the increased morning sickness I have this time is due to a chromosome abnormality, even tried googling it!!

Mummy I have had lots of lower back ache on and off over the weeks. It's so hard not to worry about every little pain isn't it. I love my mum but she is not the over motherly type! She text after my miscarriages to see of I was ok. I told my parents at about 8 weeks this time as was struggling so much with DS and was hoping for a bit of help. Not much has come my way! Oh well. DH mother has been totally amazing with helping out and asking how I am. We told her straight away. She has had a miscarriage herself and understands what it's like. My best friend is due her baby in 2 weeks. I would have been due the 2nd baby I lost a few weeks after. Going to be a difficult time. I couldn't really be around her until I got pregnant again. It's still hard but not so dreadfully painful anymore. I am happy for her as she is my best friend but she had no idea of the pain of loosing a baby and is just so naive about it all. Not long until my scan now on Saturday. Really worrying about it.

Jesus Jmf, I don't think I would ever speak to her again! There have been a few other mother / MIL horror stories on here. I know they might be a different generation and all, but really!
Have been at home all day - think I have picked up a stomach bug, that or I am getting belated MS. Not very dymnamic right now. Have on mismatched pyjamas with my boobs hanging out as none of them will close up over my mountainous mammaries. Am i painting a lovely picture for you all?

Aw jmf sorry you haven't got your mum's support. I'm feeling really lucky now that mine is being good about everything. Even mil is being quite restrained (drove me nuts during my miscarriage with old wives tales and questions about all the gory details but was trying to help in her own funny way I think). lucky my best friend is due 6 weeks after I would have been, this autumn, as time goes on it's easier though and if all works out with this pg the timing will actually be better.

Not been sick today though still feeling very sick and retching at smells, managed to eat and drink a bit though am ridiculously fussy with food. Still telling myself it's a good thing, I felt like this with dd.

Thanks ladies - feeling a bit more reassured now - I am trying not to worry about every twinge and ache but its so hard. I had my 2nd lot of bloods this morning and almost cried explaining to the nurse how anxious and scared I am feeling :-(

We have told up parents and my 2 closest friends - they are the one that really helped get me and DH through the miscarriage so I will need them again if anything goes wrong (fingers crossed it won't!!)

JMF - bless you hun - that's shocking - I'm guessing your mum hasn't had a miscarriage herself?? I don't think people can really understand how devastating it is however a bit of compassion would go a miss!!

I also understand about the jealousy with other people's pregnancies - I thought that would disappear once I had my BFP however I am still sick of seeing Facebook scan pictures - maybe I will feel different once I hit 12 weeks (I don't think it will though!!)

Tomorrow morning I should get the hcg results - I am so nervous and really hope it shows doubling rates.

Thanks again for your support over my backache worry - I can't tell you what a difference it makes knowing you guys are out there!!

Xxx

FX for positive results for you tomorrow Mummy

Thanks everyone for your different perspectives on telling parents. I think I'll wait until after scan in wk 7 and then think about it again. I've told DH and my best friend so far, she's had 2 MC so is understanding, and is better placed to be physically helpful if I suddenly need childcare or something goes wrong. It's nice to have people on here where it's not a big secret.

hi girls, lots been happening in here today. i got the doppler in the post but couldn't hear anything when i tried :( i told myself before that i might not hear anything but it didn't prepare me for how sad/scared/panicky i feel now. ended up having an argument with dh after so now i'm felling terrible :( i know it's not always possible to hear etc etc but i had read such good news on here from you guys, i was convinced it would be fine. now i'm shitting myself. we have our scan on saturday morning but i so so wish it was tomorrow.

i seem to be one of the lucky ones with a very supportive mum, her own mum (my granny) was non maternal to the point of being mean so my mum has always been doubly there if i need her which is really lucky. we told my parents quite early on (about 5 weeks) as i normally go to wine club with my dad and had no other reason not to go. also i knew how good they were when i had my mc. we told DPs parents after our early scan at 8 weeks. i remember reading someones post months back on the subject on when to tell the world. she said that she announced it as soon as she got the BFP because even if things didn't work out, she wanted her baby to know that he/she was wanted and loved. kinda stuck with me. but i didn't follow. only 2 friends know.

congrats on the 12 week mark Garden!! i bet that's a great feeling!

blackholes i hope you and dh are able to sort things out soon. it's such a difficult and emotional time, please open up to us if you need to, we're all here for you x

bump i totally agree with your feelings towards others. i've been inwardly horrible about some people (like...'she didn't even want another child' when one friend announced her pg. still pisses me off)

mummy as you can see back pain seems normal (phew!) i had some the last few days but i worked out it's probably because i've been on the sofa fr about 4 evenings without moving an inch. i seem to have a dose of lazy bastarditis this week.

hope everyone with poorly bugs and migraines feels better soon

Just a quick post for janie....did you have a full to bursting bladder and angle deep down in your pelvis, really low? Try not to worry, not long till your scan now

Lol lol at lazybastarditus I'm def in your club! So sorry you are worrying with regards to the Doppler. That's the main reason I havnt got one. Some other ladies mentioned some tips a while back like try with bladder full. Have you tried this. Bring on our Saturday scans and make everything ok.

Oh Janie I'm sorry you couldn't hear it. It really is hard to find though! I know you have probably tried a lot, but just in case, did you make sure you had a full bladder first? Also, I found a video on YouTube which really helped me find it. Maybe that would help?
Could you find your own heartbeat?

Haha. Was that 3 of us in the same minute mentioning a full bladder? Did you get the message Janie.... Bladder needs to be full!! Hahah!

Janie - my friend had a Doppler and always had to have a full bladder to hear baby's heartbeat.

I am at home on my own tonight (except for DS who is asleep upstairs) and I am in a right panic about my test results tomorrow - I'm literally sitting here crying with nerves - I feel ridiculous!! When I was pregnant with my son I was so excited as soon as I got my BFP but this time round I am so so scared :-( xx

Big hug for you mummy (((()))))

Mummy it's so hard, sending you a hug. Where the hell is that time machine :(

Thanks girls, yes full bladder. DH just keeps saying I was stupid to get it and 'fat lot of good that's done' etc etc. not exactly what I need right now :( a hug wouldn't go amiss

Janie anyone mentioned the full bladder?!

Seriously though it took me 3 separate goes i.e different evenings to get anything other than sea shell to ear noises and feedback! I was ok with it though as I was feeling a bit neg anyway so was of the opinion it couldn't get worse. I know I'm lucky to be like that. But seriously you need to drink like 2 pints of water and give it plenty of time to get there and fill to burst, I think the first night I tried I confused the general urge to pee after a glass with actually having a full bladder fit to burst. Also as someone else said, it's really low, down by your pubic bone. Don't despair, midwives struggle to find heartbeats so early on too and that's why they hate Dopplers and advise us all to not be tempted.

If you feel up to it try again another night, if not avoid it XXX

Oh and yes I found my own heart beat. YouTube was full of annoying skinny American girls doppling away to themselves but yes I did try it for tips etc. boooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooo

Thanks garden. Was tempted to try again tonight but don't want DH having another go at me. Will maybe try tmro when he's out. Thanks all xxxxx

Try again tomorrow if you want when you are more chilled out. Take your time with it, start really low, and once you find your own heartbeat, try to get in behind that if that makes sense?! Or, wait until after your scan. Then you will know everything is okay, will be more relaxed, and it may e easier to find if that makes sense.
Sorry it has stressed you so much. Not long to wait now, scan soon, and you will be on cloud 9.
If it helps I am also hoping tomorrow passes quickly- one more day to avoi the dreaded blood test result phone call!!! Meep!!

Thanks janie and lucky - it's so hard - I think I am convincing myself that this pregnancy is a no go with no actual facts to back that up. I don't have any symptoms really other than increase in headaches but is only 4.5 weeks so that normal I guess. I just feel sick about these test results :-(

Janie - good luck with the Doppler tomorrow - even midwives struggle with the dopplers so early - babies are excellent at hiding when we need to find them!! Xx