Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

expat i have been meaning to take up antenatal yoga or pilates. Do you think one is better than the other?

MrsHY I live between Peckham Rye station and Denmark Hill Station so not far at all!

I'm also slightly hypermobile and have to watch I don't overflex my knees.

Dildals, I'm not really a yoga person and I don't think stretching with already relaxed pregnancy ligaments is really the way to go but I know tons of people love it so perhaps try it. I think some prenatal pilates can be a bit tame so I would probably join a normal class. A good instructor will have a small class and insist if you're pregnant that you have at least one private session before you join the class. I don't think there's anything that keeps your core muscles so stable and strong. Spd exercises (mutu system) are basic pilates moves. Advanced pilates is pretty tough - quite addictive.

expat I might just give different classes a go, antenatal yoga, pilates and normal pilates, and then see what I like best. I always find yoga a bit tame, it's not my usual cup of tea, but am looking fwd to the antenatal ones, just because I quite fancy chatting to fellow pregnant women! I am seeing one of my friends friends on Sat who is a pilates instructor. I shall ask her for her opinion!

I am not flexible AT ALL! Hopefully that means no SPD for me!

I started to get worried abt SPD because I started to get pelvic pain (around my SI joint) really early on. Then my hip joint started joining in. When I run I can feel my entire pelvis plus pelvic floor muscles and I pay for it for 2.5 days after! So that made a bit worried. I understand that for some women it's a first trimester thing and then it goes away. We'll see. I must say I haven't had any pains this week. I have a physio at work so if it gets bad I will just go to them asap, better to get help early before it gets bad I reckon.

Actually we have pilates at work as well I think! I'll give it a go!

Having poured scorn on it yesterday I spoke to a friend last night who absolutely raved about prenatal yoga so I'll give the local group a go.

I do want to chat with other pregnant women but I always get the inevitable question of 'is this your first?' and I never know what to say. I don't want them to be afraid for their own pregnancies or feel bad for me.

Expat I do feel for you. How are you supposed to answer that? I wouldn't worry about what other people think/feel though, you have to answer in the way that makes you feel most comfortable.
On the pregnancy yoga front, I have a friend who loved it too. She didn't go to yoga before so this was a post-conception yoga conversion!
Having a bad day today. As the scan gets closer but the symptoms don't develop I convince myself something has gone wrong. I was thinking about this and I don't think anyone can really understand unless they are on progesterone suppositories/jabs like I am. The baby could have stopped growing over a week ago but I wouldn't know about it because of the progesterone keeping everything 'in place.' I know people not on progesterone can also experience missed miscarriages, but these are much rarer than the usual type. I don't know. I'm waffling. I just wish I could be sure that the absence of a period/bleeding meant I was still pregnant - after all that's what most women go on I guess.

MrsH, symptoms wax and wane in early pregnancy. I didn't feel really truly pregnant until after the 7 week scan.

I have no way of answering that makes me feel comfortable. I cry when I talk about him which is a teeny weeny bit of a conversation killer. I suppose I should face it more often and get used to handling it in a way that's okay for everyone.

And absence of bleeding is all good and not down to the progesterone. It's down to your own hormones and good quality egg. So it's all positive.

Expat thanks for your reassurance. I also read my email back and my comment about 'do it in a way that makes you feel comfortable' is ridiculous and glib, I'm so sorry. You lost a son and it's never going to be anything other than shit.

mrs I think everyone in our group worries about having a mmc until 12 weeks. I did constantly until I realised my bump was growing and thought that even if a placenta was still producing hormones only a growing baby would be inflating me. But that wasn't until week 10 or so.

The symptoms really do come and go and vary tremendously between people.

expat I've been thinking about what I would do in your situation if someone asked if it were my first. I would probably lie in most situations and say yes just to avoid the painful conversation but be truthful when the situation felt right. After all even if someone you said yes to layer found out it wasn't true they would completely understand. But overall my heart really goes out to you.

dildals I wish my office had a physiotherapist and Pilates class! I've been inspired to try to ward off the SPD this time by signing up to a Pilates class starting next week.

I also got my combined nuchal fold and triple test results back today and am v relieved to be low risk - 1 in 6900. Almost starting to enjoy being pg although every time I look in the mirror I am startled, I look about 20 weeks!

Brilliant news Fairy!

MrsH, don't fret - your comment didn't offend me at all and in any case you're right, I do need to be more comfortable mentioning it because that will impact whoever I'm talking to. I've decided to go for breezy and have been practising on dh. He says I look deranged which I suppose is progress.

Fairy, lying hasn't worked out too well for me. My vet thinks I have a son at home and often gives me things for him. It's bonkers but I can't backtrack from the initial insane answer of 'ah erm, yes, I had a boy'

expat well I'm impressed how you maintain your sense of humour about something terribly painful! There really is no right way to go about it. If you feel up to it maybe just saying I had another baby but he didn't live is the way to go. Sometimes I think our society is too private about these things out of the belief it is better not to trouble others. It can make people feel very alone. I've spent a fair amount of time in Asia where people are much more willing to talk about life and death and people there seem to cope better. I'm just generalising of course, your situation is your own.

One of my bosses told me her story today over lunch how her baby girl died in the womb at 37 wks. We were both struggling to not start crying. I had to consciously count back from 100 to focus away. I appreciate her sharing, but i didnt really want to hear it, being pregnant. So I have had enough British/Dutch sharing for today...

Ah it's a tricky one. I have a script I can now say without breaking down any more, but if people ask further questions I find it hard. I tend to say that I'd rather not talk about it as I don't want to get upset and that usually warns people off. I am quite uncomfortable talking about my losses to people who haven't had kids yet or are pregnant, so tend to avoid it then unless directly asked.

I don't like to say I don't want to talk about it because it becomes an enormous awkward elephant. I think I'll just go with Fairy's suggestion and say I had a baby but he didn't live which gets it over and done with in a suitably vague way but opens it up enough for people to be friendly at a level they want. It's my experience that pregnant women and parents with kids always ask the question so good to be ready. I have been avoiding this situation a lot but it's time to be brave.

expat g

Whoops! Accidentally posted too soon. Good luck with it, I hope it will become easier with practice and with the new baby to distract/delight you.

mariana how many days until your caesarean? It must be soon now.

dildals sounds like a gruelling lunch but maybe your boss needed to tell the story. I'm sure you did her some good.

I have managed to start jogging again thank god - well really more like I jog for the first 10 min then collapse into a briskish walk. I just don't seem to be able to breathe properly and I get a side stitch. Gorgeous morning though.

Mrs I'm also convinced the progesterone is hiding sth sinister. Today some chicken I ordered had a bit uncooked so even though I'd hardly eaten any and I think it was just the one uncooked piece, I am mentalling.

Still, five days to my scan, four days to yours. I'm trying not to think I'm pg till after that.

Mariana two days!! Woo hoo! Are you ok? Ready?

dildals. have you started telling people then?
fairy glad you're -)fat and--enjoying it :)

Mariana, is it only 2 days away? How exciting!

Where are you Keep? Don't feel you have to answer. I'm in Belgium.

Beautiful weather here. We took the dog out early for a long walk in the woods and now I intend to do as little as possible for the rst of the day.

Yep, Monday. I am terrified! Have just screeched at DH about making lunch. My sister has just had a go at me for not having bought a cot mattress and my mum has had a go because I've bought nothing new for the baby. I just want to hide under the covers, I wish people could understand that I just can't do these things.

Keep, sympathies with your chicken paranoia.

Expat, you will find a 'script' that you're happy with. There's one work colleague who it definitely became elephant in the room with but that was after I started crying and she got all 'oh I knew I shouldn't have asked.' She's never been the same with me since.

My colleague is really open about it, she had mentioned it before, so I knew, she just told me in more detail on Friday. Fucking hell, what a traumatic experience. She's got 2 healthy kids now, just in case you were wondering.

fairy have you started jogging because you feel it's 'safe' now? Although I did 'jog' in the first trimester I felt conscious of what I was feeling the whole time. Now, this week, being safely in the 2nd trimester I was like 'let's get sweaty again!' and went for a spin session. Lovely. Not a very long one, and my heartrate was still fine, although I was working hard. Me and running have definitely fallen out of love though, it's just not working ... I did a time trial swimming on Thursday and took just under a minute off my 400m time, which is quite a lot, this must be due to increased buoyancy and blood doping! ;-)

mariana Oh good, the end is in sight. Not long to go now. Just ignore everyone else. It's a bit like getting married - it's your wedding, ignore what everyone else wants. (if you know what I mean :-)

keep yes, we had the scan on Monday and I was bursting to start telling people. DH is quite private, whereas I am a sharer. We have a group of friends that overlap so he didn't want me to talk to them, because he didn't want his mates to find out via their wives. So I was really keen for him to finally announce it. Also my SIL is so flipping nosey, I KID YOU NOT, she has been going through the bathroom drawers trying to find clues to me being pregnant (there was nothing there HA!). She cannot just wait until she's being told. I mean, as soon as it is obvious I have stopped drinking then usually it is a question of time right? Anyway. It's her hen this weekend (I refer to her as SIL, but they are not married yet, but have been together for ten years plus) and I didn't want to not drink there, without people knowing, because that would have been a right pain.
I have also told everyone at work, I think they were fine with it. My line manager gave me a 'congratulations with your baby' card the next day. Bit weird, but he means well ...

It's crazy by the way how quickly this belly grows! It takes me by surprise every couple of days. Bit scary as well. I was walking thru Canary Wharf shopping centre last night thinking 'well this is a bit of a futile exercise, I can't buy anything!', not long now before I can indulge in some maternity clothes shopping. On the upside, I don't think I am spending ANY money, not going out, not drinking, not buying clothes, I will be well flush by the time the twins arrive ;-).

So that's my download for the day!

Hope you all have a nice day, Mariana, good luck to survive the weekend! Enjoy the nice weather tomorrow (hopefully)!

Thinking of you Mariana. Wishiing you a wonderful day tomorrow. x

Good luck for tomorrow Mariana! You will meet your baby! So exciting! x

Help... Small amount of brown discharge this morning. Is this it? Am trying to move scan from Thursday to tomorrow.

Good luck Mariana, can't wait to hear your news.

No it's not it - far from it. Implantation process takes a few weeks to finish. Brown is good.