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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

999 replies

Dildals · 31/03/2013 16:46

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

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Original poster
Dildals · 09/04/2013 11:50

Twins actually do run in the family, so I have that excuse.

I had a good 20 min conversation with my neighbour (pregnant with no 5) about all the different contraception methods she had unsuccessfully deployed. I quite enjoyed that conversation actually. ;-)

OP posts:
MrsHY1 · 09/04/2013 13:35

Hello all
Happy Tuesdays!
I do find the disclosure/not disclosure thing about IVF interesting. While I was going through it I told a few close friends and some people from work, plus some total randoms, e.g. a hairdresser I saw once, because strangely I found it very cathartic to witter on to people who I might never see again, who wouldn't feel obliged to ask how things were going etc!. I think if this pregnancy ends up being successful I will be quite open with talking about it, I feel desperately strongly that too many women experience feelings of failure at not being able to get pregnant 'naturally'. But while I was going through it, if I even sensed someone was trying to mine for information I'd get really narky! I think it's just such a personal and hugely emotionally complex thing.
My tits have started to hurt when I take my bra off at night - is that progress? Oh, and I was a bit knackered on Sunday and needed a nap, and a bit worn out yesterday evening, but that's it. Six weeks tomorrow. Waiting for this scan has been the longest bloody time of my life...

MarianaTrench · 09/04/2013 14:45

Sore tits is definitely progress. I am currently unable to ever not wear a bra as mine have been very sore throughout. I'm usually a fairly compact 32d so not huge and have never worn a bra to sleep in but that's been the only thing that has helped. I also have huge visible veins in them which look horrifying and one actual bulging varicose vein.

Sexy.

Original poster
Dildals · 09/04/2013 17:40

I have stretchmarks on my boobs - that's pretty attractive too.

OP posts:
MrsHY1 · 09/04/2013 19:51

Ooooh mariana and dildals, you do paint a pretty picture!Grin

MarianaTrench · 09/04/2013 20:57

Some people bloom apparently!

Stretch marks are one thing I don't actually have! Not through the careful application of lotions though, apparently it's genetic and merely down to skin type.

Shazzamattazzerly · 10/04/2013 08:44

Morning ladies

I'm lying in bed looking over this sweet little harbour. I daren't move cause I've got a signal.

Congrats dildals and fairy on your scabs such a relief. How exciting to now be able to relax abit and look at baby stuff. Are you are st thomas' dildals?

Mariana I hope you are feeling ok. 8pm bedtime sounds great. Last night I stayed up til 11.30 but I did doze on the sofa from 6-8!

Keep how is the nausea?

MrsH welcome to the world of pregnancy naps!

Expat I hope work has calmed down. How are you feeling?

Hello to everyone else.

I'm having a lovely time. Felt sickish on Monday but ok yesterday. The enormity of it is hitting me abit. Late I know but I keep thinking of the massive responsibility of having a baby.

I had a really upsetting dream last night where DP wouldn't talk to me about names. He was adamant about one particular name that I felt was overused and wouldn't even entertain talking about it. I was beside myself with frustration and we ended up having a 1 yr old son with no name!

I hope you all have a lovely day. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the rain continues to hold off.

Shaz xx

Shazzamattazzerly · 10/04/2013 08:45

Scans not scabs!!!!! My fingers have pins and needles cause of the way I'm lying but I daren't move!

ExpatAl · 10/04/2013 10:16

Hope you're having a lovely time Shazza. In Cornwall, staying by the harbour sounds perfect.
Everything is fine with me. I have a scan tomorrow so am feeling a bit stressy.

keepitgoing · 10/04/2013 10:47

Ooh good luck al! Is it your 20 week scan?

8 days till my scan. Still a little queasy...

shaz have fun. I know what you mean, I think I've spent so long trying to get pregnant I've forgotten about the actual baby part!

Original poster
Dildals · 10/04/2013 10:51

ShazEnjoy your hoilday and no I am King's.

Good luck everyone with their scans!

OP posts:
ExpatAl · 10/04/2013 10:51

Hi, no I'm just under 19 weeks. I have bi weekly checks of my cervix. They've all been fine but I can't shake the feeling before I get there that I'm just about to be given catastrophic news.

It's strange isn't it that you can spend a huge amount of effort and time in getting pregnant and then have a flap about whether you've done the right thing when you finally are! We really wanted a second chance and now that we have been so lucky to get one I'm having a little panic about whether I got pregnant for the right reasons and whether I'm good mum material etc. Nuts.

MarianaTrench · 10/04/2013 12:43

Sounds idyllic Shazza.

Expat, I sympathise as I have a severe scan phobia myself. This pregnancy has involved more scans than usual, but I'd not be able to cope with bi-weekly ones. I'm also terrified of the heart doppler which I do have to face more or less weekly. Good luck anyway, if everything has been fine so far there's no reason to believe things have changed.

I think if you have not had the easy path to becoming a parent that most people have, then you are bound to question things more. I think it's a good thing, anybody who worries about being a bad mother never usually is!

ExpatAl · 10/04/2013 16:59

The heart doppler is horrific I think Mariana - am very grateful that each time I get an actual ultrasound of baby and heart rather than just an attempt to find a heartbeat while I lie there sweating. How's it going with you?

Keep, I bet the time is going so slowly. An IVF pregnancy feels at least as twice as long as a normal one. I exclude you Mariana because yours must have been slow torture too.

MrsHY1 · 10/04/2013 19:22

Expat best of luck with your scan, although the bi-weeklyness of them must give you reassurance, I guess it's just more opportunity to experience feelings of anxiety. Let us know how you get on.

Mariana that sounds idyllic! Both the harbour views and the napping!

Keep not long to go until your scan now. Are we on the same day- I'm next Weds. You're a week or two ahead of me though, right?

Dildals, did you have your treatment at Kings too? I was there for my NHS attempts. They specialise in twin deliveries don't they. If this bun stays in my oven I will need to choose between Kings and Tommys. Kings is much closer to where I live but I'm afraid after my failed attempts and godawful stay with ohss (even though I was looked after really well every step of the way) I associate it with such bad memories Hmm

MrsHY1 · 10/04/2013 19:23

Sorry, blonde moment. It's Shazza by the harbour isn't it. Sorry Shazza and Mariana!

MarianaTrench · 10/04/2013 20:50

I wish it were me in Cornwall!

The midwives are pretty good with the doppler but it was a doctor who couldn't find it the other week and called in a scanner - I was on the verge of hysteria.

I'm not so good today, I'm on crutches now due to my SPD, as I just can't weight bear properly so walking is agony. It's a massive pain in all sorts of ways but I am trying to be stoical. I have always tried to not complain about pregnancy symptoms as I'm so grateful to be pregnant but this is a bit of a challenge. Luckily DH is working at home for the rest of the week so he can help out.

ExpatAl · 11/04/2013 10:22

Crutches must be a major pain in the arse Mariana. Challenge is an understatemen. Maybe it's good because it gives you something else to focus on???? Nope, probably not.

Scan went well today. Next scan will be the anomaly one at 21 weeks.

Original poster
Dildals · 11/04/2013 15:22

mrsHY1 No I went to Guy's for my IVF. Their stats looked a lot better. They did a lot more IVF than King's as well. Practice makes perfect I thought.
I can walk to King's, DH was born in King's, so I just went for King's. I did consider St Thomas for the babies, mainly because it would be easy to go to for the antenatal appts, (and they have a nice birthing centre there - but not sure if they would let me on there anyway!) but DH said King's would be easier because the babies are likely to be premature and visiting would be a lot easier if they were at King's (no faffing aroudn with parking a car).
King's sounds like the place to go if you have a complicated pregnancy.

Getting SPD is one of my nightmares ...

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Original poster
Dildals · 11/04/2013 15:24

I know what you mean re bad memories. When I went for my 12w scan I did note passing the clinic where they did my ERPC. Brrr.

OP posts:
MrsHY1 · 11/04/2013 16:03

Makes perfect sense dildals. I can walk to Kings too. I'm just in East Dulwich. You can't be far away :)

MarianaTrench · 11/04/2013 16:04

Good scan news Expat.

Today I need no crutches, the strange thing about my SPD is it varies day to day. It is a right pain though as I can't even go for a little walk to the shop.

Bad memories is an odd one. I've had all my maternity care at the same hospital. My consultant offered to transfer me after my first loss but I feel safe at that hospital and no matter how utterly awful the things that have happened to me there have been, I have always been treated with sympathy and respect. There are two nurses there in particular who got me through some appallingly distressing events and I'll never forget how kind they were to me.

ExpatAl · 11/04/2013 16:15

Dildals, do you do prenatal pilates? I've been attending a pilates class for ages so don't bother with prenal version but think it's brilliant whatever version you do and definitely prevents/helps spd. I imagine back ache might be a challenge with twins and pilates would be great for that.

fairypangolin · 11/04/2013 18:37

mariana I had SPD with DS although it was not as bad as yours, I did need crutches to walk any distance beyond around the office or my flat. It was really miserable so I sympathise with you. Mine also varied a lot day to day which made it hard to predict how I would

I think I developed it because I was working very long hours at my desk (over 50 hrs p/w) and was very tense because I had only just started the job. I also did not get enough exercise apart from cycling (which I could still do, it was walking that was the problem). There are also individual predispositions to it such as being naturally very flexible with loose joints (which I am). So I agree with expat that pilates or yoga is a very good idea. I did pilates after the birth to help recover and I think it did make a difference.

MarianaTrench · 11/04/2013 20:05

That's interesting Fairy as I am fairly flexible with a few hypermobile joints and when I'm not pregnant, I do yoga. I had it mildly with DD but I believe it gets worse with subsequent pregnancies. I didn't know it could come and go as much as it does though, the physio told me it was usually a downward trajectory. I'm delighted I'm not on crutches today, I get very frustrated at being so immobile.