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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

999 replies

Dildals · 31/03/2013 16:46

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ExpatAl · 05/04/2013 21:45

You're not a loon at all Mariana. You've come so far and the stakes are high. Did you take her up on the offer of daily appointments or would it fuel the anxiety?

MarianaTrench · 06/04/2013 07:58

No, I decided it would fuel the anxiety more and also I'd have to get there and back each day which would be an hour out of my precious resting time when daughter is at nursery for 3 hours. Was kind of her to offer though, the midwives there are lovely. It's an amazing birth centre, brand new with each suite having a pool, en suite bathroom and garden views. They have a 3% c section rate compared with 28% at the local hospital. I'm too scared of complications to use it as the thought of having to be transferred by ambulance freaks me out, but I'm glad it exists for more other women!

Shazzamattazzerly · 06/04/2013 08:02

Oh Mariana that's ok. I'm sure they have seen it all. As Expat says you are not a loon. You are anxious and worried and tense and that's completely understandable. You have been through so much and I'm guessing the MW knows that? Have you ever tried Hypno? I did it before treatment started because I was so tense, anxious and believed it wasn't going to work before I'd even started and it really helped. It will relax you and therefore relax the baby also. If you could afford a couple of sessions before the baby is born it might help.

I hope that daily appts will help you to feel more secure. The MW is there to help and before you know it your lovely little baby will be here.

I hope you can have a good day today with your DH. I'm still in bed but I can see the sun is shining at least. Smile xx

Shazzamattazzerly · 06/04/2013 08:04

Oh we cross posted. That place sounds lovely. I want to go there!

I'm glad you made a decision based on what was right for you. That is sensible and you can use the time to rest and relax. Wishing you a peaceful day. Xx

MarianaTrench · 06/04/2013 08:43

Yes, my history is all over my notes and the medical staff are all exceptionally kind to me. I've tried CBT and mindfulness but not hypno. It kind of feels a bit late now to try something new but I'm always open to suggestions. I am 'very high risk' for post natal depression and also of not bonding with the baby (which I'm appalled by!) so they've already said they want me to have extra contact with services because of that.

When you get to that point Shazz, go and visit your local options for giving birth, I think there are quite a few of these midwife led centers about now. My nearest town is a right dump and if that has one I'm sure most places do.

Have a happy sunny day! Glorious here too - and I'm still in bed.

ExpatAl · 06/04/2013 09:59

Thank goodness you were seen by a lovely MW. Dont be apalled - it doesn't mean that you will get pnd but if you do it'll get treated swiftly.

I think that when you have had a loss and my goodness Mariana, you've had a hard time, it is almost impossible to go through your next pregnancy without a constant rolling tape in the background going through all the things that can go wrong. I can't imagine what it's like to be at your stage and have had the pressure built so high. I'm already having meltdowns at 18 weeks so can well imagine what I'll be like if I get to full term. Frankly I think we're warriors by still functioning. Enjoy the day with your family.

ExpatAl · 06/04/2013 15:45

My niece has just had a baby. God I feel old.

Shazzamattazzerly · 06/04/2013 17:05

Hi Expat it's funny isn't it how pregnancy spans so many ages! I guess it would be harder if you weren't already pg. I found it difficult when those around me were getting pg so easily while we were still trying.

MarianaTrench · 06/04/2013 19:04

God yes, it feels like absolutely everybody else in the world does it once, gets pregnant and all proceeds without a hitch. Not actually true of course but it doesn't half seem that way. These days I suppose the reproductive age spans from 16 to 45, not surprising there's overlap but yes, at 40 I have often felt like the oldest bird in the AN clinic. Luckily, my oldest niece is 8 so I'm safe for a bit there yet.

keepitgoing · 08/04/2013 06:09

Hold your horses, is this slight nausea I'm feeling?

Everyone ok? Mariana when's your section? This week?

MarianaTrench · 08/04/2013 07:54

One week today, Keep. I was pretty calm yesterday, although I did about five hours work which took my mind off things. I'm on mat leave but my job won't seem to let me go.

Anyway, I hope your nausea is enough to be reassuring but not enough to reduce you to only being able to eat tinned pears. I had hardly any this time which made things much easier - apart from worrying about why I didn't have it as bad.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Shazzamattazzerly · 08/04/2013 09:30

Morning ladies

I hope the sickness isn't too bad Keep. Fortunately mine hasnt gone past feeling abit iffy and needing to eat toast for breakfast although I also feel dodgy today.

Wow Mariana a week to go. I'm glad you felt abit better yesterday. Not long now.

I was shattered this weekend. Hats off to all of you who are doing this with a DC already. How are you coping with the tiredness? All I was good for for most of the weekend was laying on the sofa.

I'm going away to Cornwall for a week. Am at the station now. Knowing what the mobile reception is like I'm not holding out much hope for internet but I'm sure we will get to a cafe at some point so hopefully I'll be able to check in and see how you are doing.

Have a good week. Speak soon.

Much love. Shazza xxxx

ExpatAl · 08/04/2013 10:26

A break in Cornwall sounds fabulous Shazza. Have a great time.

MarianaTrench · 08/04/2013 10:42

It does sound lovely. I've been once and it was beautiful, lovely little villages, but the best thing was the pasties so I hope your nausea allows you a few of them!

The tiredness seems to be something you just learn to live with, I'm in bed by 8pm most nights though. Luckily my DD is really into colouring and stickers so we are doing a lot of sitting down activities.

Dildals · 08/04/2013 14:41

Afternoon all.
Had my 12 week scan today! I was in there from 10 till 12.45! Baby Nr 2 didn't want to pose for the pictures, so they spend a lot time waiting for him to change position and find his nasal bone. We could sort of see it, but they need to have a perfect picture to be able to tick it off. I was very impressed with the level of detail the NHS scan went in to, stomach, bladder, kidneys, blood flow through the heart and umbilical cord, eyes, palate and counting hands and feet too! :-)
Risk was around 1:2268 so that's a risk we can live with, risk for trisomie was 1: 4000 something.

OP posts:
MarianaTrench · 08/04/2013 14:53

That's brilliant news - congratulations! That's a big step to have got through.

fairypangolin · 08/04/2013 16:32

Hi dildals that's wonderful! I had my nuchal scan today too and they weren't able to tell me the odds yet since I just had the bloods done today but the sonographer said the nuchal translucency looked very good. Still only one too!

Shazza- enjoy your week away and accompanying naps.

Mariana- I'm glad you had a sympathetic mwife, you deserve it. Not long now. Glad to know I'm not the only one who views 8pm as "bedtime".

Keep - yes it is nausea, enjoy! :-)

Hello everyone else.

keepitgoing · 08/04/2013 16:50

Congratulations dildals and fairy!! Brilliant news dildals. Will you tell people now? I bet you get annoyed after a while at everyone's reactions when you tell them its twins :)

MarianaTrench · 08/04/2013 16:59

More good news! Hope that's a weight off your mind.

ExpatAl · 08/04/2013 17:06

Great news Dildals. Must have been amazing to see two little beans wriggling away.

Fairy good news your scan looked good. Another big milestone passed!

Keep, probably only IVFers can rejoice that someone has morning sickness Wink. A nice bit of reassurance while you wait for your scan.

Busy week for me - my penance for doing sod all last week. Hope everyone else is well. Jethro and MrsH, how are you doing?

Dildals · 08/04/2013 20:12

fairy they did the bloods and scan at the same time and we got the results at the end of the appt - very impressed! Congrats the nuchal folds look good. I had done so much research that I feel like a semi-qualified monographer!

We went out tonight to celebrate and I had half a glass of prosecco :-) there's 2 of them, they can share the burden and get used to their alcoholic mum ;-)

shazza enjoy your babymoon holiday!

Impossible to do work today too ... And I need to decide on whether to tell work tomorrow. There's a new job coming up internally that I quite fancy. I could be super cautious and not tell anyone until I have been accepted/rejected for that job, but TBH I just want to tell people by now. And I can't be keeping this gut secret for long anyway, although it is not really a bump, more a flabby pot belly, it is still a bit of an odd shape compared to my old self.

I reckon I will just get some cakes in and spill the beans.

keep YAY morning sickness!

It's weird with these scans, you count down the days, and then when they come and are good, you expect champagne corks to start popping from several corners, but it doesn't of course, and then you are happy and just sort of carry on doing your normal stuff.

It's nice though, I now finally allow myself to buy a couple of baby books, the librarians already now what time it is from my peculiarly specific interests! Last time she looked at my belly with a frown when I checked out the twin book I had reserved :-)
Ditto for preggo yoga, maternity wear, I can now think about baby names, buggies (although I already know which one I will get ha!), holidays etc.

Ah, so the sonographer took a long time to find baby's nasal bone. DH during the (2hr) scan didn't say anything. Then at the very end he goes 'so will one of them not have a nose then?', the sonographer and I were in stitches. 'DH, with your genes, this is not very likely'. Poor guy ... hihi.

OP posts:
Dildals · 08/04/2013 20:22

keep I don't think i will EVER get annoyed with the reactions to 'it's twins' and I can't wait until someone asks me 'is it IVF' and that I can then say 'NO, I HAD SEX TWICE IN ONE NIGHT!'. I am dying to see their reaction! (BTW I am happy to tell people it's IVF, it's just that I quite fancy saying the sex twice thing :-))

OP posts:
fairypangolin · 08/04/2013 20:39

dildals ha ha ha! I love it!

V impressed with the service at guys too. I have to wait 4-6 days to get the stats but then my scan took about 5 min, not over 2 hrs! That is incredibly thorough, you must be very reassured.

keepitgoing · 09/04/2013 02:25

Friend with twins (natural, numbers 3&4) gets annoyed at people saying, you must have your hands full... No, really, you think with four under five?

I expect lots of people will expect ivf, will be interesting to see how many ask. Or if they nose 'do twins run in the family...'

MarianaTrench · 09/04/2013 08:06

I've stopped being surprised at the things people ask you about pregnancy. I am quite vague about my troubled history but have had some very intrusive questions. We moved house recently and in only the second conversation with my elderly couple neighbours, the woman asked where I was having the baby, which led to me saying I was having a section and she asked about my daughters birth and I said I had had lots of complications. It then struck me that we were all standing about chatting about my fanny! At which point I collected the milk off the door step and beat a hasty retreat...

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