Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Oh my word ladies! I have just read all your posts for today and to say I am now a bit teary is an understatement. You are all so very inspirational in what you have been through and are coping/supporting each other through
I have (until now) been feeling a bit more together the last few days and despite rigerous pant checking continuing I am overall less anxious than I was and have been managing to enjoy a few smug moments to myself -these are followed by over whelming rushes of 'what ifs' and 'dont jinx it', but i can shake them off better.
Not been feeling as sicky but GOD my boobs are sore. Am sleeping in a bra, went swimming today which was lovely (am crap but love being in water) however my boobs felt sooo heavy when I got out and got showered.

Also, my special power if I had one would be to breath underwater. Think I would just go to the bottom of a tropical sea and stay there, mmmmm.
What would your special power be????

Foody at this particular moment my special power would be to teleport myself home. I went out for dinner with a friend in marylebone and am still on my way home having left the restaurant well over an hour ago. Trains up the spout had to get back on tube and am now on a bus to Brixton. Like fairy this is the latest I've been out in weeks and on a school night as well.

Inspiring post crisps thank you. It is awful that you have suffered a loss but inspiring that you can share those feelings of having no regrets. Thank you for that. In fact thanks again to all of you. I feel better today and able to face the next week with abit more optimism. And the confidence to have purchased new, albeit large, bras.

Very interesting discussion re education. My cousin home schools her daughter and that is a whole other world. There is a good community of home schooled kids where they live. It is certainly a brave choice but an interesting one especially when you see how engaging and bright all the kids are. But that is for another day.

Night all. Nearly home finally.

X

Ps foody glad you are feeling better and totally sympathise with the pessaries!

Crisps have a super weekend. X

Dildals the fitter said I had to have abit of room to grow without compromising on support now. She said buying a maternity bra is different to a usual one. Mind you she put the tape somewhere between my ribs and my waist. Maybe she thinks that's where my boobs are going to end up!

Another pregnant crying woman here too! didals is was your message about love for the baby that did it for me! I can?t believe what I feel for the bean already and how I feel like I would do anything to protect it. Urgh, right need to stop thinking about it

OMG shazz can?t believe you are in Streatham too! And others nearby! I will have to PM you to find out whereabouts you are Shazz. I?ve found a nice sounding, local pregnancy yoga thing that I want to go to if all seems well at the 12 week scan. And I?m impressed at the new bras. That is one side effect I?m really looking forward to. At the mo, I?m in teenage girl (well, probably pre-teenage these days) size bras!

foody I totally get the smug/happy feelings and then then what if I jinx it feeling. I think crisps is right about spending time thinking about this child and enjoying it whilst it is here. It?s also what one of my lovely friends said who has had late losses. It?s a case of balancing self-preservation vs enjoying it for me. I think come a (fingers crossed) ok 12 week scan, I?ll feel a bit happier.

sweetie those pessaries sound nasty. I?m doing mine, er, up the rear! Seems to be less messy, although I am permanently bloated.

Mariana 5 hours sleep sound great for a new born!

Al I?m still stressing about nursery fees, haven?t got onto university yet!

fairy I?m really pleased to hear that your MS went at 11 weeks. I am literally counting down the days until 12 weeks, when it will hopefully go. My mum?s went at 10-12 weeks, so I?m hoping I?ll be similar to her. I can?t stop eating crisps! Must be so bad for the bean, but it?s all I fancy and they don?t make me feel sick.

The whole porn, drugs etc chat is interesting. Hmmm.. that makes us sound like a v. different thread! There was an interesting article in the paper last weekend about ipad nanny and I found myself worrying about how do you prevent your kids from spending all their time on these things, but on the other hand still being normal and not technologically inept! The porn thing also occurred to me. I don?t mind them seeing it as older teens I guess and don?t see how you can stop it with smart phones, but I wouldn?t want them to think that what they see is normal and don?t want a 12 year old who thinks she should be waxing off all her pubes! In fact, that?s the thing I would struggle with if I was dating again ? do all men expect Brazilians now?!

Anyway, hope you?re all enjoying the sunshine. I?m working from home today, so able to control the nausea much better. Had better get on I guess!

ps, Can I ask about the bra fittings - can you keep your bra on or do you have to get your baps out?! I've endured many indignities during the ivf, but just don't fancy get the boobs out!

Alright Gin? Just checking in to say it was a baps-out situation for me. Was it you who received an assault with a pessary after EC though? If you can get through that you can get through anything!

Ps, I realised I never told my sperm frittata story. Basically I was on another chat site and a girl who'd been trying to get pregnant for years came on to very proudly tell the story of how she had (brace yourself):

1. got DH to jizz in a mooncup
2. added egg white (actual egg white)
3. microwaved it on a low heat
4. inserted it while sat on the loo
5. masturbated so her cervix would drop down and 'pick it all up'

She was convinced this had worked for her but I told DH to refer me to a doctor immediately if I approached him with a mooncup.

MrsH that is one hell of a story! hmmmmmmmmmmm, lost for words!

Good thing I just had (non-egg based) lunch because I think I would have lost my appetite after that story!

On gin's brazilian question - a related question ... will I become so large at one point that I won't be able to tend to the lady garden? Just something I have been wondering about! (I am not talking Hollywood/Brazilian, just some normal tidying up). Will I have to go all 70s at the end of my pregnancy?

I am feeling a lot less teary today, I think to do with sunshine, Friday and fact that I am wearing pink jeans!

MrsH that is just wrong. I have stooped to some ridiculous depths during my ttc but nothing so extreme. Just shows the desperation some ladies will go to.

I think it is just teens who watch loads of porn that expect womens bits to be totally hair free. I think most men of a certain age have realistic expectations. I am sure you will still be able to reach to prune the lady garden but am waiting to stand corrected.

Dildals so glad you are less tearful today. I do think the sunshine lifts the spirits. And surely pink jeans are enough to cheer anyone up?

I have had a moment today and would like to know wwyd in this situation. So this guy I have worked with for a number of years is leaving. I know him & his wife have gone through many failed ivf cycles. I didn't know if to tell him that we have been successful this time but with de. I know it is only early for us so didn't feel able to. I am not sure he knows the struggle we have had to get this far. I suppose I just wanted him to know it can happen and not to give up hope.

Sweetie, I would keep quiet. They may have given up completely and be coming to terms with that.

MrsHY dear God. But that's not the first time I've heard of women adding actual egg white to their cervical mucus to increase their fertility. Talk about completely missing the point.

Dildals, I am a reasonable flexible woman who is usually a size 12. There was no way I could get anywhere near my lady garden for the last couple of months. I decided to go all 70s on the basis that there is no dignity in childbirth and midwives have seen it all a million times anyway. Also I couldn't actually see it, and still can so I found it didn't really trouble me. It will be a milestone in my recovery when I finally tend to it. Maybe I'll go to the other extreme and have a Brazilian and a vajazzle.

gin, get your norks out. It's well worth it. Many years ago I got mine out for the matronly lady in House of Fraser and she eyes me up and down and declared me a 32D instead of the 36B I was wearing. It was an amazing difference and well worth that moment of overexposure.

Hello lovely ladies

I hope you are all ok. It's nearly home time for those who are stuck in an office!

Gin yippee to be in Streatham. Coffee mornings whilst on mat leave beckon! I'll PM you.

I know what you mean about being attached to the little one. I talk to her all the time.

I'm not sure where the Brazilian craze started or who is responsible. I like it tidy down there but don't go to extremes.

I kept bra on for measuring. Actually she only flung the tape around my lower ribs looked at me and declared me a 34 D in the end I was 34c. But then she stood there while I got changed and tried them all on. But it was worth it. I'm so comfy today. No wire and a size too big is definite the way to go

MrsH am speechless by the story. It sounds like she ended up with a BFP anyway. Maybe it did work!!

Dildals I'm so pleased you feel better today. Me too. My dad sent me the sweetest text today about keeping smiling and not worrying about shazlett too much. I'm going to try to keep tidy 'downstairs' but to be honest my belly is so bloated by the end of the day bending down to clean my teeth at the sink is uncomfortable. Goodness knows how I'll get down there. I'm v jealous of the pink jeans. Are they maternity?

Sweetie it is so kind that you are considering your friend and want to inspire him but I'm with Mariana. I don't think I'd say. If, when you are ready to tell everyone, you see him maybe tell him sensitively with no one else around?

Mariana. I love the idea of a vajazzle! Now there is something to look forward to

Enjoy the bank holiday girls. I hope you all have a lovely time. You have inspired me to make something over the weekend. I'm going to start to crochet shazlett a mobile.

X

mrs surely by microwaving the sperm they would be killed dead? Aside from the ick factor how could anyone imagine that would work?

There was a thread a few months back where pg ladies were discussing bikini lines and some said they had to keep waxing because otherwise they'd be too embarrassed for the midwife to see them 'ungroomed'. This is a level of self-consciousness I simply do not have! It never would occur to me nor would I care what she thought. Maybe it's a sign of my age but I regard waxing as the unusual thing not the norm (not that it's a bad thing of course). mariana this has also made me vow never to get divorced- I don't want to know what rigours are now expected of one to be presentable.

I've seen loads of comments about the necessity of getting a wax prior to labour. As if a midwife would be in any way surprised by anything down there. I do keep things vaguely tidy normally but it really should be the last thing on your mind when about to have a baby. The thing that did make me feel a bit scruffy was not br

Argh. Not being able to do my toenails. I might get round to that again in a couple of years.

Morning! Its funny this waxing business. I like to be tidy but I also don't understand when it became that it was pretty much compulsory. I don't think that I will be overly concerned during labour. I'm guessing that will be the least if my worries!

Mariana maybe I'll start training DP to paint my toenails!

Last night he cooked my tea while I was reading bits of the pregnancy book aloud. In the section for dads it said something like 'start to help with chores such as cooking your partners dinner. She will appreciate the thought'. I like the reference to 'helping' like it is all primarily OUR job to do everything and he should HELP during this time when we might feel a bit tired. The cheek of it!
X

I've just realised we haven't heard from Keep in a few days. I hope she's ok.

I hope she's ok too.

It became compulsory when porn took over! I had a colleague who didn't believe in shaving her legs or armpits and didn't try to hide it either so in the summer she wore sleeveless tops etc. She very sadly told me that her teenage daughter was absolutely mortified by her hairy mother and they had really fallen out about it. My colleague was really earnest in her believe that hair was natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I fear our generation will have the same clash about pubes.

That kind of gendered assumption drives me mad. Mind you, the balance of housework, childcare and paid work is completely skewed in our house. I'm currently trying to clean the bathroom in between feeding the baby every 10 minutes. I have however got as far as filing and basecoat on my toes...

Oh Mariana I'm impressed. You are taking multi tasking to another level, feeding the baby, cleaning AND doing your toes. That is impressive

I'm feeling abit stressed and anxious again today. I've escaped from the flat cause am being very short with poor DP and it's not his fault. I keep thinking that if only shazlett is ok then I promise not to keep worrying. But I said that before the first scan. And the second.....ok AND the third. Clearly I can't keep these self imposed bargains.

X

shazza Don't be too hard on yourself, the whole 12 wk scan / nuchal testing is a biggie, there's no two ways about it. After that is out of the way a weight will fall off your shoulders (you will still worry about the 20 wk scan of course) and you will allow yourself to be really happy a lot more.

The MW is going to care less about whether you've waxed or not ... If I was a MW I don't think I'd even notice ... It's more about how you feel about it yourself. I am going to be pregnant in summer and may want to get myself in to a bathing suit at one point for holidays and exercise of course. I wouldn't want to appal the life guard at the work swimming pool, me totally forgetting about the 70s haircut that is spilling over the sides! I reckon I may get DH involved in the grooming, he's not easily phased. I won't be able to get him to do my toenails though, he'd do a shoddy job!

Everyone enjoy your bank holiday weekend people!

Shazza, I hope getting out has done you some good. The waiting is grim, there's no getting around that. Also, you will keep worrying so don't beat yourself up about it. After every milestone I was happy and relaxed for the rest of the day, but come the next day would start worrying about the next thing. It's an inevitable part of the process.

Keep busy! It's the only answer - clean your washing machine powder drawer. Scrub your hob. Sort out your sock drawer. Put your books in alphabetical order. Declutter a cupboard. Make a cake!

O.K - to share I had a really embarrasing moment today -
was at a Neon Glass workshop with my OH when I started feeling a bit light headed, this went on and off for a few minutes them I got rather hot (we had been standing listening for an hour by this point) so I took off my cardigan thinking, must just be bit hot. Next thing it my turn to cut some glass and I almost pass out completely. Have to put my head down and walk to the back of the room where there was a sofa, really hot shakey and sweaty. thought 'its ok this will pass ina minute. 5 minutes later I am still half lying down on the sofa and anytime i lift my head everything goes all swimmy again. Was soo embarrassed, OH was great and the tutor managed to keep taking the workshop. I started to think I might need an ambulance or something cause I was not getting anybetter, but decided to lie my head right down and put my feet up. started feeling better in less than a minute, had 2 glassess of water and was okish after that. Absolutely freezing then but was ablt to take part in the rest of class.
Have not had a fainting do like that since my teens!
Can't think of any explaination other than I had been stood still for too long.

We were also 10 minutes late in the first place (nightmare getting parked) so I think they must have thought we hungover or something!!

Also just to reasure myself I have POAS again today (cbdigital) and have been reassured that it now says 3+ weeks (5weekspg) when last week it said 2-3weeks.
Shazz hope you able to relax a bit, and marriana, my god, you ARE superwoman!
off out for a sunny if very windy BBQ, mmm
Oh and are you all with waiting until 12 week scan before telling most people?

Foody I hope you are feeling better. I think fainting might be common in pg. something to do with blood pressure. And if you were standing for a long time, maybe hadn't eaten, your blood sugar was low. Of course these are going to have an effect. I'm glad it passed and you are off out. Take it easy and enjoy yourself tonight. Take an extra sweater for when the sun goes in!

Thanks ladies for your kind words. I know this is a tough wait and there is nothing to do but sit it out and like you say, keep busy. I've had a lovely lunch with a friend today and tomorrow I'm meeting another friend for a coffee. Then Monday it's chores and abit of art practice. And then it will only be 4 sleeps to go.

I am not telling anyone else now til we get the results. I'll be 13 weeks by then. So far our families and a couple of close friends who knew we were doing treatment know. And my boss has also kept it a secret now for 7 weeks. What about others? What have you decided to do?

I hope everyone else is ok today.

Shaz xx

Hello ladies, hope you're enjoying the bank holiday. We get ours next week on Thurs and Fri.
Shazza, could you turn this around a little to feel excited to see your baby again? I think I understand a little. If you had got pregnant via IVF you would know exactly how and why you got pregnant and would have taken various drugs to make it feel as if all is under control. Now that you got pregant the old fashioned way it must all seem very daunting and unsure. How could it be okay when you needed IVF before, kind of thing. Feel free to tell me if I couldn't be any more wrong.

Foody, that must have been pretty frightening. Are you feeling okay now?

Hope Keep is okay too.

Mariana, wow, toes, feeding baby and cleaning the bathroom. All at the same time!

I had a strange 24 hour tummy bug, upset tummy thing. I felt absolutely rotten being violently sick every half hour and pouring out the other end too - sorry far tmi. It's all over now and I just feel tired and ravenous.

Re the lady gaden bit. I have my legs and bikini line waxed pretty regularly but that's for me and I couldn't care less what the medical staff think. I'm sure they'd be far more appreciative of me having had a shower and being generally fairly fragrant (sniffs armpit). I've also started having a pedicure quite often because I adore the leg massage that comes with it. I love being poked and prodded, like a cat.

Evening all, just catching up with all the news. It has been busy in here today.

Foody hope you are feeling better now, try to rest up. It was probably a combination of things as you said. Hope it was a one off and doesn't happen again.

Expat glad you are over your tummy bug too.

Mariana you do sound like a super woman, all that multi tasking. I am in awe.

Shazza nice that you have some things to keep you busy over the coming days.

You asked about telling people, well we have both told our parents & siblings as they knew we were going through the treatment. Also DH aunts funded our treatment so we have told them. We are not going to tell anyone else until we have had ours scans and everything is given the ok.

Dildals your DH must be very good to tackle bikini line, there is no way my OH would go anywhere near and I wouldn't trust him to do a proper job he wouldn't even hold our positive pee stick when we got our BFP "because I had peed on it" I despair sometimes I really do.

Not much to report here, we have been getting our house ready to sell, we have already bought somewhere new so just need to sell our current home. I have a couple of estate agents coming around next week. So we rented a storage unit and have majorly decluttered. I have cleaned everything within an inch of its life. Even bathed the dog!!! So it now doesn't look like our house anymore. We have eaten rubbish all day so I have promised to include loads some fruit and vedg tomorrow

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.