Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Hello ladies, do you mind if I join? I had an early pregnancy scan yesterday, which showed a little bean, phew! The bean is a result of a FET, after 2 failed fresh ivf cycles and feels ver precious.. It's baybee no 1 for us. I'm almost 7 weeks, so behind most of you I think? Does the anxiety get any better as you get further through the pregnancy?! The antenatal due date clubs all seem a bit scary and full of blind optimism

I noticed a few of you are souf London ladies too? Which hospitals are you using for antenatal stuff? I'm totally over (or rather under) whelmed by the choice...

Right I'm off to try to beat the nausea into submission with some lard. Happy Friday everyone.

Hello Gin. Welcome and congratualations! Isn't it amazing to see that tiny heartbeat beat so strongly.

Yeah, the due date antenatal clubs seem super optimistic. I needed to pick an antenatal course today based on due date and had to take a deep breath and just go for it.
Anyway, the best bit of advice I can give is to enjoy every minute of being preggers. Yes, it might go wrong but it's more likely to go right and being pessimistic won't help with either scenario

Ooh dildals I don't know why people feel they can so openly judge about pregnancy and being a mother! Only you and dh matter, so ignore.

Hi gin so many congratulations!! That scan is amazing, isn't it? When's your next one? I am 9+1, so not massively ahead, though it feels like each day takes a long time, hey! And mrshy is about a week behind me, so plenty of us still in the early days. I think that yes, you do get less stressy about things, as the odds get better every day.

My thing today is it was my last progesterone pessary last night, yay! But will the baby fall out.

Anyway, gin, things look good so far, the heartbeat is a major hurdle. I am really trying to relax and enjoy. At the start I was so happy that at least we could get pregnant! How's your dh?

Ps agree there are two many people on the monthly threads, and all look for prams as soon as they get bfp. Have you told anyone yet? We told family after 7.5 week scan, which was just brilliant.

Congratulations Gin, seeing a heartbeat is the first big step. As to anxiety, for me it got worse but that's because I have had very bad luck with late losses (and am quite mad with anxiety as a result). I'm sure for most people each step along the way provides more reassurance that everything is ok. Just take it one step at a time and remember that most of the time for the vast majority of people it's absolutely fine, so there's no reason why it shouldn't be for you.

The monthly threads are terrifyingly optimistic though. I know I'm the extreme in terms of caution and paranoia but there must be a sensible balance between having bought a pram at 8 weeks and not having anything for the actual baby to sleep on when it's three days old!

I am sending my husband to Asda today to buy me some more enormous knickers as I can't bear anything pressing anywhere near my section scar. I am secretly becoming very fond of enormoknickers - they are so comfy! Anyway, he is very unimpressed and says he has to take DD with him otherwise he will look like a furtive transvestite. I have said that any transvestite worth his salt would be unlikely to be buying Asda 100% cotton Full Briefs at £4 a pack.

Hope everyone has a lovely Saturday!

Mariana
Are you doing ok now?

Hello
Happy Saturday everyone!
Waves to gin, gin I used to post sporadically on the TTC 10 months thread but it moved so fast I couldn't keep up. I remember your story though and still occasionally lurk and saw you got your BFP- huge huge congrats. Was it me or does the wait from positive test to first scan feel like a bloody eternity?
I'm 8+3 today so not far ahead at all. Having another scan at 10 because apart from big achy tits I have no symptoms so terrified its not in there any more. But then read that every woman experiences symptoms differently and cheer up a bit.
I'm waiting to hear if I've got onto caseload care with this amazing midwife group who work in my area of Sarf London. If I do, I'm seriously considering a homebirth as they can guarantee a midwife present. If not, it's Kings for me. What are your choices? All moves quite quickly doesn't it?
Will post more later- thanks for booze advice and Dildals, another Dutch vote from me! I think it sounds lovely (to a naive untrained ear like mine) x

hiya gin - god I would love a G&T! oh well, only 24 more weeks before I can have one again. I think we all here agree that the antenatal threads are not quite what we need in terms of support having been through extended TTCing, some losses and IVF. I am now almost 16 weeks and my anxiety has reduced a lot, esp now I have had the nuchal screening. I actually think I've started to be able to feel the baby moving (like little fish fins fluttering) and I am looking forward to when that becomes distinct. It's my second so I have read you are aware of it earlier than with your first.

I had a scan at 7 weeks, 11 weeks and 13 weeks (the first two were private at the IVF clinic) and it was totally worth the reassurance to me.

keep congrats on the last progesterone pessary! I really do not miss those. and hooray on telling the family, that must have been a great moment.

mrs I thought everyone had a right to a homebirth and therefore the NHS has to provide a midwife to attend you at home. They can't force you to come to the hospital and can't let you labour alone, can they? There's an info sheet on the MN talk "childbirth" page that tells you your legal rights. I am contemplating a home birth as well and the midwife I have seen at the GPs surgery has been supportive but perhaps in London the pressure on midwives is a lot greater and the staffing levels are the problem?

shazza so glad the scan went well.

expat on nurseries, i was set on the same one as with DS not just because it was excellent but because it's the only one in Cbridge that you can book by the hour. All of the others that I have checked out you have to either have only mornings, only afternoons or full time. It's ridiculous but I guess people are so desperate for childcare they book in full time (which is £850 per month for an under 2 ) and then don't use all of it. Perhaps it's a lot more sensible in Belgium?

Fairy - booking by the hour is marvellous. DDs nursery do that and it's saved me a fortune. The surprising thing about moving to the sticks was no pressure on nursery places. You can pick and choose out here, back in the city I had to arrange my work hours around when I could get nursery sessions.

I think there's quite a lot of support for home births these days and people I know that have opted for them have had really positive experiences. I feel safer in hospitals, not a common attitude I know, but each to their own.

My dh is a doctor, and says I'll be having a home birth when hell freezes over!... I think I will try and persuade him one of the MWL units if it's attached to the hospital, but as we don't yet know where we'll be living I don't know what'd be available. It seems weird to have to decide so early. I'm assuming I can just swan into the system at 22 weeks and choose but...

Fairy, we lived in Cambridge before moving here (well, a village outside) and still have our house there. Love it, but v expensive. £850pcm is crazy money!

keep you more or less can swan in and choose. We moved here when I was 22 weeks, although I wanted to stay at my original hospital for the section I could have very easily transferred to either the midwife led birthing centre or the nearest hospital. I registered at the nearest hospital as well in case I went into labour spontaneously because an ambulance would have taken me there. It seemed very straightforward once I had a GP locally. I can imagine your husbands attitude to home births. One of my friends is a doctor and she was unusual amongst her peers in even going for a natural delivery as opposed to an ELCS. I suppose they know too much about what can go wrong.

My sister lived in a couple of villages outside Cambridge, it's lovely round there but mega expensive. It may be grim up north but it's cheap!

mariana and keep niceto hear of you cbridge connections. We are very at home here and it's great for raising children but DH has family in Lancashire and we have spent a fair bit of time in Yorkshire and I love the landscape there - and the house prices!

Keep- mariana is right re birth choices,although they start talking to you about it from day one, you don't really have to decide until about 34 weeks and even then you can change your mind at any point, unless you are having a planned csection and need to book in I suppose.

keep thanks for the invite!
I am 4-5 weeks pg after 17months TTC and am a bit overwelmed with the anxiety of it all. Emotions/hormones druving me slightly mad, and can't shake the feeling that something will go wrong .
Thinking about booking for an early scan in a few weeks, anyone have any advice on this??

Ohh, just read the above posts properly! that helps, will def book a scan for about 7 weeks I think. Bit behind you gin, yay on the little bean!!

foody if you can afford it I'd do the scan. Maybe at 6+3 or so, as if you go too early you may not see the heartbeat and would worry even more. It's a long old wait even to there! But, each day forward your chances increase.

Congrats on getting there at last, it feels like forever, doesn't it? (We were just under two years, first ivf)

Welcome, and mental away. We all do...

I have a SIL in Cbridge so we're often there. We have to go through it to visit my folks anyway. Love Yorkshire too. I went to school in Derbyshire and have a dream of living right in the countryside, but then remember the work bit, damn.

It's a bit more sensible in Belgium. The most expensive creches are around 800 euros for full time but you can claim back with your taxes so you have one painful year. The pain is that you have to choose your hours and then stick to it.

Could we have a recap of where everyone is at? I'm losing track.

So, ExpatAl, 21 weeks, edd 6 Sept (prob cs one week before)

Thanks for the welcome! It definitely feels much more home-like here.

expat you are totally right about trying to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy. I keep reminding myself that no amount of worrying will stop things going wrong and that even if I?m expecting it, if things do go wrong, it won?t make it any easier!

keep yay for the last pessary! I accidently melted one in my pocket last night, urgh. DH is being very calm and collected about everything. He keeps telling me that everything was normal at the scan (although bean was measuring at the lowest end of normal size-wise) and not to worry. Like you, when I got my first every positive pee stick, I was so so happy. We told PILS straight away as they knew we were doing the FET (thanks to their generous loan!) and told my mum after the scan. Do you plan to tell everyone else at the 12 week scan?

mariana at the pants! I found myself eyeing up some brown comfty looking old-lady bras the other day in Sainsburys? Our lucky other haves eh?

Waves to mrshy were you the sperm frittata lady?! So pleased to see you have got your bfp. St George?s and St Hellier?s are the nearest hospitals for us and Croydon isn?t far away, but I?ve heard some really bad thangs about there. I am an utter wuss and crap at pain, so want to be where they will give me big drugs. Our next scan will be the 12 week one, unless I can persuade Mr Gin that we should have another private one?

fairy congrats on being 16 weeks! Good to hear that the anxiety does ease off as time goes on. It must be lovely to feel movement. We too have some Cambridge connections (and some Yorkshire ones!). I?d love to live in either tbh.

Hi foody! Yes, I?d def recommend the scan. Mine was part of the FET deal. I almost said ?free?, but the FET was so bloody expensive, it was far from free!

Hope everyone is having good weekends. I?m planning on having a restful one and enjoying that I don?t have to leave the house and worry about vomming in public. I have my first GP appointment on Tuesday. It feels odd not to be at the clinic anymore.

The cost of nursery care scares me! I think in London it's more like £1k per month? We are hoping to move next year though, so hopefully it'll be a bit cheaper in the London outskirts.

And the recap

ExpatAl, 21 weeks, edd 6 Sept (prob cs one week before)
GinSoaked, 7 weeks, edd 14 Dec, baby #1

And the recap

ExpatAl, 21 weeks, edd 6 Sept (prob cs one week before)
GinSoaked, 7 weeks, edd 14 Dec, baby #1
Foody, 4-5 weeks, edd 26 Dec-01 Jan, baby #1

Sperm frittata..........?!?!

gin the size is so tiny at that point that it's hard to date. You saw a heartbeat, that's the most important thing. Yes, I think we'll tell friends after 12 weeks.

ExpatAl, 21 weeks, edd 6 Sept (prob cs one week before)
GinSoaked, 7 weeks, edd 14 Dec, baby #1
Keepitgoing, 9 weeks, edd 29 November

Ooh a Christmas baby foody! I'll think of you while eating my turkey :) If you're not sure of dates I'd book the scan at 7ish weeks.

Date from 1st day last period (21st March) put my due date at 26 Dec, though I know I ovulated late on CD21 (10/04) so due date is more likely 01 Jan.

Hello ladies

My you've all been busy this morning!

I'm on the MN app and can't cut and paste. Please could some kind soul add me to the recap?

Shazza 11+1 wks EDD15 nov baby #1

Welcome gin and foody huge congrats to both of you. We are not too far ahead. I was crazy mentalling early on. It has died down abit but now I'm waiting for harmony test results (13 days to go) and am having to try to keep positive. You are in the right place here. These girls are great and it's fine to have the weirdest mentals. We all understand.

Foody I would definitely have an early scan. I had one at ACU at 7.6 and then another at Fetal Medicine Centre at 10 and again at 10.5 cause they couldn't do harmony bloods first time. I was slightly behind on dates so I had to go back. I've got the nhs scan at 12.5 and then the nuchal at 13 as 2nd part of harmony at FMC so me and shazlett are getting to be well acquainted!

Gin I'm at St Thomas' we were at Guys ACU so we wanted to stay with the family as it were. Turns out I've been given case study MW care so I'm chuffed. Apparently it's really good in my area. We are also thinking of moving out of London. Funnily enough we were talking to someone about Cambridge last night. And DP is from Yorkshire.

Dildals re mat jeans have you gone elastic over bump or the under bump kind? At the moment everything needs to be under bump for me and my bump is minuscule! As for uninvited advice oh doesn't everyone have some? Our latest is that apparently DPs sister visited y'day and told him our nursery plans in our flat were silly and told him what she thought is a better use of space. It's my flat!!!!

Keep congrats on no more bum bullets. Hurrah. Dont worry the little one won't fall out! Well done for telling family. It's exciting isn't it?

Mariana I also laughed at the knickers. I hope the scar gets better soon. How is DD sleeping now?

MrsH as I said im lucky enough to have case study care. The MW told me that 25% of their births are at home. I'm with Mariana though. It will be hospital all the way with me. Or the home from home midwife unit at the very least. How did it go with work colleagues last night? And I'm sorry but sperm frittatas?????

Fairy it's so exciting that you felt the baby. £850 is so much. And if it is more in London then it's not worth me working. How on earth will we manage? Eek!

Expat I think Belgium sounds like a lovely civilised place to be. I hope you feel ok today.

Have a great day all. It's freezing in London despite the sun trying to break through.

Shaz xxx

Also we have just booked our holiday to Australia and Thiland in August. very mixed feelings about this! have been plannign it for ages and we might not get another chance so it is good we are going, but really nervous about how I will be then. Trying not to worry. Anyone else thoughts about flying/being away from home???

Thanks shaz! def going to look at booking early scan, still very early days I know. I am actualy still waiting for FC appt as was referred in march, dont want to tempt fate and tell them i dont need it then have something go wrong. Is that bad of me? really trying to be possitive but these niggles keep creeping in.

RECAP
ExpatAl, 21 weeks, edd 6 Sept (prob cs one week before)
GinSoaked, 7 weeks, edd 14 Dec, baby #1
Keepitgoing, 9 weeks, edd 29 November
Shazza 11+1 wks EDD15 nov baby #1
Foody, 4-5 weeks, edd 26 Dec-01 Jan, baby #1