Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Yes I have already signed up keep because loads of people told me the courses book up really quickly in this extremely middle class suburb of London! I am quite looking fwd to be told that breast is best and that I am a heathen for wishing for a C-section ;-).

I did look in to hypno birthing, but am holding off on that because I am hoping baby no 1 presents itself in breech position :-). Also my friend who gave birth 11 days ago did the hypno birthing thing and I am quite keen to hear from her whether it helped. She had quite an arduous and long labour, so I wouldn't be surprised if she has fallen off the hypno birthing bandwagon.

I have also joined TAMBA I'll have you know. I am v organised.

On the C-section bit - I read the protocol for twin births in Lesley Regan's book and no person should be forced to have that as a birth experience is my personal opinion. It reminded me of a veterinary A&E reality program. I am actually quite an advocate of natural birth, but reading those 2 paragraphs put me off completely. No option of pool birth, no active labour, due to constant double monitoring, immediate epidural, stuck on your back, and 30 mins to push no 2 out, no pressure though, the epidural is because the consultant goes in with his/her hand to fetch no 2, which apparently is quite painful, no shit. Then when the consultant has managed to traumatise baby no 2 sufficiently by pulling it down the uterus, they get the forceps out. Great. If you want anything else, it sounds you are pretty much in for a fight. Which I don't fancy. I might be too negative, I am happy to hear otherwise from the consultants when I finally get to see them. The midwife I saw was pretty useless for info, she wasn't even aware of the NICE guidelines on low dose aspirin for multiple pregnancies. If I do have to give birth naturally I will arrange a midwife or doula who has experience with natural twin births. Because of the protocol they are losing this experience.

Apologies if I have ranted about this before and am repeating myself!

On the organisation front - I have also pretty much decided on buggy. DH has decided on car :-).
We haven't decided on names though or childcare, although I do need to get an idea of that, because of waiting lists and costs! DH wants to get his head around childcare costs we will be incurring in Oct 2014 onwards!

Was Shazza not due to have a scan yesterday? We haven't heard from her have we? Or did I miss a post? Hope everything is OK.

Yes, she had a scan yesterday. I was hoping for news last night.

Hope all is well Shazza.

expat great news re scan and cervix, one more hurdle crossed.

I did hypnobirthing with DS on the recommendation of my midwife. It was helpful for the first 24 hours of my labour...but really I think the ideal they promote of a peaceful, empowering stress free birth will only happen if you also are lucky enough to have a straightforward short labour. Once the baby gets stuck or whatever you can't keep visualising rainbows endlessly. And after wanting a natural birth and ending up with a complicated emergency caesarean I think my hypnobirthing practice actually contributed to my feeling inadequate for having failed to give birth naturally ( I know I know but that's how I felt). So I would recommend it as useful but with a grain of salt.

dildals I really don't blame you for wanting a caesarean if that's the twin birth protocol. What's the point? It sounds horrendous.

At the risk of sounding crazy I got a nursery place for the little one the day after I had my 11 week scan. I wanted him or her to go to the same nursery as DS and it is a horrendous wait list so I couldn't wait. Now I feel v smug

Ooh my goodness to everything, you are all so believing and confident. I still can't believe we might have a baby in November.

MsrHY when's your next scan?

Keep, I'm the opposite! We didn't once discuss names until she was a few hours old (which I felt was odd but on my ward 3/4 of us had no name chosen). The baby doesn't have a nursery but a chest of drawers and wardrobe in the spare room. My husband had to dash out and buy a cot mattress and assemble the cot once we were home from hospital and I've done nothing about nursery places (although unlike Fairyp that won't be a problem here in the sticks.) We had all the stuff from DD already but I just couldn't bring myself to get it all ready.

Dildals, I would go straight to section after reading that protocol. I had an intervention filled delivery with DD and it was awful. I'm all for natural childbirth if that's what the woman chooses, but it doesn't look like much of a choice in your case. I also think childbirth is deeply overrated!

Hope Shazza is ok.

Hello ladies

Sorry for radio silence and causing worry. All fine. Sadly we were at the funeral yesterday of DPs granny. A long sad day but she was 97 so fair doos she gave it a good go.

Scan was ok although shazlett wasn't playing ball and we became well acquainted with her spine! And the dr said something about the nasal bone not developed yet and the profile we saw briefly was light reflection. So now I'm in a panic about DS trying not to mental. Luckily I'm somewhat reeled in on the frantic googling cause my mobile bill was HUGE last month. I'm guessing from the 3 hours on googling whilst commuting each day

I've had the harmony bloods done and now have the torturous 2ww (I didn't have an IVF 2ww in the end so this is my 1st).

I'm sooooo impressed at all the organisational activity. I had a tentative look at buggies with my mum at the weekend. Luckily the parental unit is making that purchase for us. We didnt decide on anything i want to try to carry the baby in a sling anyway but they are all insisting that we must have a pram as well. But that's about it so far.

I've got until 7 may to decide about NCT. Mariana I laughed outloud on the train about the talking 9 month old. Hilarious. I'm against coughing up so much dosh but mr s's sister sings the praises of it so of course he wants to do it. Dildals how much is yours if you don't mind me asking? Apparently it goes in bands. It sounds to me that Streatham is in top band. Maybe I should try Croydon we have 6x 2 hr antenatal classes already on the NHS surely I will learn all I need to know and make friends there? Ok they may not live next door but I'm having a baby not an elephant. I can travel with it! And I've got friends on here also

Expat excellent news on scan results. Really great.

Dildals twin birth sounds awful and distressing for all 3 of you so of course go for c- section. Half of me is hoping for the same. I think I'd be able to imagine rainbows for all of about 5 mins til the pain kicks in.

MrsH that's nice news on your friend.

Fairy and keep I hope you are both ok. Keep things are moving along now so I hope you will feel more relaxed soon. When are you due to see the little one again? Have you got a nickname yet?

Nearly at work. I could do without it to be honest. Oh well weekend tomorrow. Hurrah!

Have a good day all.

Shazza xx

Try to remember these things are soft markers and not at all diagnostic. The waiting is awful but time passes eventually and the odds are firmly on your side. When I was waiting for my cvs results this time I made a concerted effort not to google - I was high risk anyway and for my own sanity I had to keep away. I ended up addicted to daft games on my iPhone instead.

Sorry about DP's grandma, that's a fine old age.

I have a new pram, it's a Mamas and Papas one that I got for half price. It's well posh! With DD I had a rickety third hand effort that I gave away once she was old enough for a buggy. It's odd to think that the baby stuff we have will not be used again, although DH said the other day 'You're only 40, we could have another'. My face was like Munch's The Scream.

Shazza Baby No 2 didn't want to show its nasal bone either, and it ended up not really making any difference to the stats, so DON'T WORRY!

mariana how did you get it half price? I have been looking at second hand buggies. Would you go for a second hand one, or are they so battered after 3 years that they fall apart at the seams?

shazza I am pretty sure we paid the same. I didn't get offered NHS antenatal classes either though. I have tried googling but couldn't find anything at King's either.

shazza oh, and we can hang out together when we're on mat leave :-) We can meet in the middle somewhere!

But Mariana you could!

Shazza, great news . Don't mental. It's very common not to see the nasal bone. Didn't see one at my nuchal scan either.

Fairy, wow, organised indeed. I shuold get a move on and find a creche now - the good ones, especially ones near work are always full. I just can't bring myself to have such faith at the moment.

Dildals, I hear NCT has great sales.

Thanks for the encouragement girls. We have the full nuchal scan on the 10th when we get the harmony results. I know the odds are in our favour and mrS says I'm so healthy little shazlett has the best environment to live in so hopefully it will be ok.

Dildals we can definitely hang out whilst on mat leave. We will have to arrange a trip to Cambridge for fairy, Belgium for expat and Bangkok for keep! I'm not sure where Mariana and mrsH are based but we will take this show on the road!

Have we got any lurkers? We had some new members but they've gone quiet. Hello to anyone else out there.

X

Dildals, it was ex display and then in a 20% off sale in a small town department store. I then went to their outlet store and got a carseat to go with it.

I would go for secondhand but they do get pretty battered so I'd have a good look at it first. Mine was from my sister and we were just glad to save a few hundred quid. When DD was 6 months I bought a Maclaren Quest buggy for about £120 which I then used constantly for 2 years, it's filthy and battered but was lightweight and sturdy and I highly recommend them.

Expat - Nooooooo. Never again!

Shazza, I live in rural Lancashire. Miles away from civilisation.

Mariana, I don't think I'll be as late as you to buy things... :)

If you want to tour here you'll have to come in the next three months, then we're coming home don't know where or what job..

Shaz, glad all is ok, even if baby a bit shy. We have another scan on Tuesday, at 9+4. I'm looking forward to it, though know I'll be nervous when we go. I'm reading my UK book about all the tests they do, so hope all can be done here.

Mariana when we take the tour bus on the road we will head north until we reach you . Keep, ok then maybe we'll come and find you in the UK. We'll be like Priscilla queen of the desert!

Keep I can't believe you are over 9 weeks. It goes so quickly. But then again I'm 11 today. Crikey! Youll be amazed at the difference in just a couple of weeks. So exciting.

I feel pregnant today so I'm happy about that. No symptoms particularly but I'm aware of my tummy. It feels abit tight and I've got a tiny bump now that isn't going away. You wouldn't notice unless you were looking but I've taken to wearing leggings that sit under my belly. I wore tights yesterday and by the end of the day it was too much around my waist. Another few weeks and i reckon I'll be cracking open the maternity jeans

Xx

Shazza, do it sooner rather than later as there's nothing worse that a slightly too tight waistband and if you're mental like me you become convinced you are damaging the baby in some way. I found empire line dresses with maternity tights or leggings under them the comfiest and most discreet combo.

Next maternity joggers with fold down tops are super comfy. I like their short band work trousers too. Nice and soft on the belly - I can't bear anything tight.

Btw, I asked my ob the paranoid progesterone question. He said that it's good and normal not to have constipation and that transit time is much slower even if we think it's the same as normal.

Thats good news expat.

I won a £20 voucher at work and thought that I might put it towards my 1st maternity wear purchase. Mind you it is for John Lewis so I'm not sure how far it will take me.

Today I'm wearing a nice and comfy Tunic dress with soft leggings underneath. My belly is hanging free under there uninhibited by waistbands and no-one is any the wiser. This dress is going to be making many outings in the next couple of weeks.

It might get you a pair of tights...

Hello all. OK, so it's cold but at least it's sunny!

Shazz good to hear from you but sorry about your DP's gran. Exciting you're starting to show. I impulse bought a T-shirt at lunch in one size bigger :) Can I hang out with you and Dildals when the time comes? I'm just round the corner in East Dulwich. Hence my need to get NCT booked up as you know dildals! Also up for the grand IVF worrier road trip via Belgium, Lancashire and Bangkok.

Dildals I don't blame you for considering your birth plan carefully - you have to go for what you want and think best. I can't quite get my head around birthing two babies naturally!

Expat well done for asking the question and good news about the answer. So it's taking us all a bit longer to poo then?!

Keep 9+4 on Tuesday already! Wow, you must be really excited about your next scan (or tearing your hair out!). My next scan is on 8th May when I'll be 10 wks unless I crack in the meantime and throw more money at another one, not that it will or can make any difference to the outcome

Mariana, congrats on your pram! Sounds very swish :)

One of my colleagues at work who has known about my IVF struggles has warned me that I've been rumbled already! Apparently some of the junior team have a) noticed that I've not been having my usual glass of red at our weekly work drinks, b) spotted a 'foods to avoid when pregnant' app on my iphone when I was in a meeting (I swear they would have had to have woken the screen up to do this when I wasn't looking) and c) seen me rub my belly which I resolutely deny!! So this evening at our work drinks I'm going to confuse the hell out of them and ask for a glass of red (which I'll try and get rid of in stages down the bathroom sink). For some reason this has given me the heeby jeebies, it's alright for me to feel confident and look on the bright side but I don't need pressure from anyone else - even though that's not strictly what is it (GAH!).

Oof, MrsHy, I hate hiding it from people in social settings. You could get a soda water and pretend it's a GnT?

Hello MrsH of course you can hang out. That's great that you are in south London. Who needs NCT friends anyway

Gosh who do they think they are at your work? Sherlock bleeding homes?!! If you don't want to drink its hardly a crime or an indication of pregnancy. You could be on antibiotics. I wouldnt waste your money on drink that is going to go down the drain. You need it for Little Miss H! Tell them to mind their own business!!!

shazza ASOS has lots of nice maternity clothes! I am going over to a friends house tonight to borrow loads of her maternity clothes! Agree with Mariana on doing it sooner rather than later. Mat jeans are SO comfortable, I am openly contemplating never wearing anything else ever again. Elasticated waistbands are the future.

MrsHY We totally have to meet up with Shazza with our babies. We need to compare which one starts talking first! ;-) It won't be mine, DH wants us to raise them bilingual ... Not sure how speaking Dutch is going to help them in this world but at least they can have a chat with their grandmother and we can have secret conversations in front of DH.

I hate it when people ask you 'are you pregnant'. I just gave up caring in the end and said that I had cut down on alcohol because we were trying. They usually went away after that. But still, it's a hard one. I wish people just had the courtesy to leave well alone and wait until they are being told.

I wore a 'proper' dress on Tuesday (I sing in a choir and we had a performance) and one of the ladies asked 'oh is that a bump?' 'how far along are you now, 5 months?' Err, no, 15 weeks, but it is twins!? I am going to be a battle ship people :-).

The thing that has started to annoy me now is people telling me I shouldn't do things. I shouldn't travel for work, I shouldn't apply for this (internal) job because it involves some travel. My goodness, it's driving me nuts. I am well aware that I will feel different after I am a mum, but I prefer to have a job that I am really in to, if I am going to be leaving 2 kids behind!

dildals I know what you mean. When I was pg w DS our office manager told me off in front of the whole office for eating prawns at a party. They were deep fried! I tried to tell her that its uncooked or partly cooked shellfish that are risky, but she insisted there was something unique to the prawn that is lethal to a foetus. I was really annoyed to be treated as though I somehow now couldn't be trusted to take care of my own body and baby.

I definitely think the babies should learn Dutch, it's a great language.