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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

annoying sexist gits

104 replies

noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 19:23

Sorry - am a bit confused here. Am 5 months pregnant and have been off the booze with DH for 4 of these since finding out. In addition to this unlike, DH I can not eat anything I like, feel like sh*t most of the time, have to leave work and am ruining my body.

Yet for some reason people are reacting very strangley to DH, either:

a) being really impressed with him - like he is making some sort heroic effort - Hello?

b) telling him off for modifying his behaviour? Like having a man's baby is such a treat for a woman we would find it acceptable endure all the negative rubbish alone?

I certainly would not endure any of this if DH was not prepared to make at least the same commitment as me in making this baby and looking after it!

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TwiglettTheWereHedgehog · 24/04/2006 19:44

but he doesn't have to

so its a gesture of support / solidarity hence worthy of praise .. so I can understand the first one

don't understand the 2nd one at all

having a baby is a treat .. but its also a particularly female activity .. its something amazing only women can do ... you're making a baby .. you're developing a human being... that's why I don't get the 'we are pregnant' types

edam · 24/04/2006 19:54

It is irritating when you feel as if everyone is ignoring your input into the whole thing, I know! But they are only trying to say something positive. I guess they are commenting on how supportive he is.

What is it your dh is modifying - cutting down on the drinking? Good thing to do anyway for his own health.

This is just the start - there are so many irritating comments to come at every stage of pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Mainly because people are trying to say something and it's hard to be original.

Original poster
noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 19:58

I don't have to stop drinking either but being civilised I have chosen to stop and DH has chosen to stop also because he wants me to have his baby, something else I don't have to do.

I don't see having a baby as being a treat or amazing. It isn't even paid which is the measure of worth in our society.

Although I don't say 'we are pregnant' my partner is still having to and choosing to modify his life considerably to prepare for fatherhood and to make up for my new lack of health and earnings.

He is experiencing the pregnancy as well but differently IMHO.

OP posts:
Original poster
noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 20:15

Sorry to go off on one but I come more from the "Sex In The City" than "Stepford Wives" finishing school!

Looking forward to putting on some expensive shoes, handing the baby to dh and heading off to the martini bar in 4 months time!

OP posts:
moondog · 24/04/2006 20:19

I don't get this.
You think your dh should lay off the booze and moderate his behaviour because you are pg????

kayzed · 24/04/2006 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 20:43

moondog: DH thinks he should modify is behaviour because he made me pregnant and he wants me to keep his baby. I agree with him! Neither of us has to have this baby. If he or I wanted to carry on partying every night we would have had a termination but we decided to change our lives a bit instead.

kayzed: No major complications aside from the usual, but like any other fit person have been told to stop doing all the sports that I enjoy and (like everyone else) will be pretty out of action before and after the birth.

OP posts:
cod · 24/04/2006 20:45

i think he is crakcers
is htis oytur first?
go d let him drink fgs

moondog · 24/04/2006 20:45

Christ,loosen up noodle!
Plenty of people have perfectly normal healthy babies without wearing hair shirts for the entire 9 months!

Uwila · 24/04/2006 20:45

My DH gave those things up too. But, it wasn't really his choice. When I was just pregnant with number one, we went out to eat. He said he was going to get a beer. And I said, "I don't think so." He looked at me puzzled. Had no idea why he couldn't drink. And I said. "I can't drink and I'm not going to watch you drink when I can't join" He looked a bit put off, but kindly accommodated my wishes. I was a bit more chilled out in the second pregnancy.

But, I must say that is someone had said in front of me whilst pregnant how well HE was doing, I might have sat on them.

cod · 24/04/2006 20:45

i dont see why the pregnancy has to be an ednurance test for both of you
god relax ,live a bit

compo · 24/04/2006 20:45

I think he is to be applauded for giving up the booze. Why have you given up all sport?

NotQuiteCockney · 24/04/2006 20:47

My DH didn't drink at all when I was pg with DS1, and very little while I was pg with DS2. I would have found it annoying if he went out on the razz a lot while I was pg.

I certainly didn't tell him to not drink. And yeah, we both got a lot of flack about this. In my (very non-British) opinion, Brits are wacky about booze, and don't react well to anyone not drinking, for any reason.

cod · 24/04/2006 20:47

"because he wants me to have his baby"

osudns odd to me

cod · 24/04/2006 20:47

expat but why shoudl he unlesshw wants to
i think nay one modifying their behvaour is good
but god i tihkn htis is weirdo

TwiglettTheWereHedgehog · 24/04/2006 20:48

congratulations on your pregnancy

"I come more from the "Sex In The City" than "Stepford Wives" finishing school! " .... pmsl and OMG I bet you make friends easily .. Grin

Greensleeves · 24/04/2006 20:49

It's sad that you don't find having a baby "a treat or amazing". I think having a baby is a privilege, and is totally amazing, awesome even. And I had an horrific first pregnancy, was wheelchair bound and injecting insulin for most of it. Why are you having a baby if the idea is so distasteful to you?

Can't see why you would want your husband to do penance throughout your pregancy either. Why can't he have a drink? He isn't pregnant.

Don't get it, sorry.

cod · 24/04/2006 20:51

im with greeny

kayzed · 24/04/2006 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cod · 24/04/2006 20:53

well so you can still excercise?
i htink you are seeign this pregancy as something you haev to suffer

cod · 24/04/2006 20:53

and god let him give up booze whne you are onlygetting 5 hours of sleep a night

Greensleeves · 24/04/2006 20:55

Some people just revel in being miserable, I think.

You'll be sorry if you spoil this for yourself, noodle. IMHO.

TwiglettTheWereHedgehog · 24/04/2006 20:55

"it isn't even paid" .. you're wrong there .. there is no greater payment than having your own baby .. sure no-one gives you a wad of cash .. but it'll be so worth it

I like you noodle you're gonna make it more fun round here .. stick around

Dior · 24/04/2006 20:56

Greensleeves - you have just written my intended posting!

Noodle - you don't sound chuffed to be having this baby. Being pg is not a reason to give everything you enjoy up. You can still do some sporty activity, and can have the odd glass of wine. When I was pg, I chose not to drink, but I didn't expect dh to.

You are not 'ruining' your body...why would you say that? Yes, it changes your body, and that can be with you for a while after birth. However, the end result is something that most people think is worth any changes.

moondog · 24/04/2006 20:56

lol Twiglett
Check out us lot itching for a fight.
It's about time.Must be oooooh,about three weeks since the last dingdong.

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