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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

annoying sexist gits

104 replies

noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 19:23

Sorry - am a bit confused here. Am 5 months pregnant and have been off the booze with DH for 4 of these since finding out. In addition to this unlike, DH I can not eat anything I like, feel like sh*t most of the time, have to leave work and am ruining my body.

Yet for some reason people are reacting very strangley to DH, either:

a) being really impressed with him - like he is making some sort heroic effort - Hello?

b) telling him off for modifying his behaviour? Like having a man's baby is such a treat for a woman we would find it acceptable endure all the negative rubbish alone?

I certainly would not endure any of this if DH was not prepared to make at least the same commitment as me in making this baby and looking after it!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kayzed · 24/04/2006 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves · 24/04/2006 20:56

Was it a planned pregnancy?

Uwila · 24/04/2006 21:00

I think being pregnant is a very unpleasant state I endure in order to have a lovely baby. It is not something I enjoy. And I think if I have to give things up for the good of the baby, then the lease the father can do is not do them in front of me.

Perhaps I'm selfish. But I think I did my share of the work.

Uwila · 24/04/2006 21:01

BTW, if I didn't suffer from frequent migraines (the medicine for which can not be taken in pregnancy) I might have a different view.

LadyTophamHatt · 24/04/2006 21:02

"I certainly would not endure any of this if DH was not prepared to make at least the same commitment as me in making this baby and looking after it!"

OMG....what would you make of this from my DH.

I was 28 weeks PG with our 3rd baby before he touched my bump without being asked or forced too!

And I know everyone is differnet but your "ruining my body" is abit OTT isn't it???

TwiglettTheWereHedgehog · 24/04/2006 21:02

uwila .. I like you too .. but you have some strange ideas IMHO

.. makes the world go round

Cappucino · 24/04/2006 21:03

'out of action before and after the birth'

won't you be, like, carrying a baby and then feeding it every two hours?

how much more active does it get?

Greensleeves · 24/04/2006 21:03

The OP seems to have made a decision to hate being pregnant and treat the whole process as a massive imposition, though. She can't wait to deliver the baby, hand it to dh and go have a Martini. It does make me wonder.

But then , I haven't self-actualised yet, so who am I to have an opinion

Surfermum · 24/04/2006 21:03

I didn't mind my dh drinking when I was pg. It meant I clocked up 9 months' worth of driving home from parties points.

Joking aside though, having lost 2 babies before dd it was a treat for me to be pregnant and I would have done anything to ensure I didn't lose a 3rd. Whether dh was drinking, eating what I couldn't, etc just didn't come into it.

fireflyfairy2 · 24/04/2006 21:04

It shouldn't be a hardship for a man to give up the odd beer, unless he is an alcoholic

During my 2 pregnancies I never stopped Dh from having a guinness at all, but he only ever drinks on the weekend and at home.. sure I said he might as well enjoy getting driven about by me for 9months! The only time he stopped having a pint was in the last 2 weeks before I was due incase I needed to be driven to the hospital! :)

NoodleKitKat, why do you sound almost resentful dearest?

moondog · 24/04/2006 21:04

I hated being pg,but was perfectly happy for dh to live a normal life.
He is a grown man after all....

TwiglettTheWereHedgehog · 24/04/2006 21:04

I think I self-actualised a while ago Greeny .. you've been missing out arf

Cappucino · 24/04/2006 21:04

also a bit concerned about all this 'having a man's baby' stuff as well. sounds as if you're going to flog it to him after

Original poster

noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 21:05

Well this certainly is an emotive subject! Not sure why you think DH is 'doing penance'?! Again he is doing what he wants to do and would be the first to admit that as a man he gets off very lightly indeed in the babymaking business.

Anyway, I am not trying to upset anyone here. I am being honest about what I feel, take it or leave it. I see pregnancy as a means to an end not a magical Disney experience.

I do have lots of friends by the way (you may be surprised to hear) and they all love me and miss my cocktails but like DH are really supportive.

OP posts:

Original poster

noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 21:07

sounds as if you're going to flog it to him after - now that idea is pure genius....

:-)

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 24/04/2006 21:07

the only thing I stopped DH doing was bringing pate home when shopping.

i think he feared for his life if he ever had any because I would have torn him limb from limb to have some too.

His present to me when I had Ds1 a french stick and some ardennes pate.
He even bought a knife to the hospital so that I could cut the bread.

Cappucino · 24/04/2006 21:08

it's just that you sound like you're going through some kind of terrible illness, with everyone being supportive

and dh only gets off lightly if he does sweet FA after the baby is born. which believe me, is when you'll need him to be sober

TwiglettTheWereHedgehog · 24/04/2006 21:09

its not an emotive subject at all .. we're all just amazed at your attitude I think ... and few of us share it

but then again it takes all sorts to make a world

Greensleeves · 24/04/2006 21:10

Well no, not really Twig - some we could do without

Original poster

noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 21:11

Anyway I am happy if/that you are all doing your pregnancy thing in a way that makes you happy. Must go as DH is cooking dinner.

Nice to have a stimulating discussion on a Monday in any case.

xxN

OP posts:

Dior · 24/04/2006 21:13

Yes, you won't find many 'Earth Mothers' on here, but you seem to be looking at being pg in a weird way! Have the odd drink if you want one. When I was pg, I was dying for a huge glass of good red wine and a rare steak, but I didn't feel like a martyr for not having them...

kayzed · 24/04/2006 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cappucino · 24/04/2006 21:13

i mean thinking about it dh did cut down his drinking when I was pg but he'd still have a bottle of San Miguel of an evening. the first time he cut down to that, but the second time that was about our limit anyway because we got so little sleep

if he'd been the type of guy to get bladdered solo regularly tbh I wouldn't have married him in the first place

for me it's not the fact that you don't want your dh to drink, it's that everything about the pregnancy seems negative and about endurance. you should be excited?

gothicmama · 24/04/2006 21:14

omg having a baby is amazing and life changing an d yes some people do expect a woman to give up everything but it is that way find a way to enjoy yourself if nthing else think of names to call yur dh whilst in labour - if pg is changing how you feel so much then when your baby arrives your world will be spinning

Cappucino · 24/04/2006 21:15

kayzee pmsl

do you think we will ever see noodle again? have we scared her off?

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