annoying sexist gits

[noodlekitkat]

Sorry - am a bit confused here. Am 5 months pregnant and have been off the booze with DH for 4 of these since finding out. In addition to this unlike, DH I can not eat anything I like, feel like sh*t most of the time, have to leave work and am ruining my body.

Yet for some reason people are reacting very strangley to DH, either:

a) being really impressed with him - like he is making some sort heroic effort - Hello?

b) telling him off for modifying his behaviour? Like having a man's baby is such a treat for a woman we would find it acceptable endure all the negative rubbish alone?

I certainly would not endure any of this if DH was not prepared to make at least the same commitment as me in making this baby and looking after it!

Outraged that you think I'm a lawyer (I'm the token accountant remember!)

This thread seems to get funnier the longer it goes on - I'm new to this - are they all like this?

and whats wrong with lambs?

Very odd thread. Funny though. And lol at you all getting huffity and going "it doesn't ruin your body." Yes, it bloody well does, and you all know it You may go back to the same weight but it's never all in quite the same place again (but you learn that it doesn't really matter that much, when it comes down to it...)

lol Martha!!!Yes it does... long tits,saggy belly and double chins if you're unlucky!!

Quite agree Sue - being pregnany is a blessing not a curse, IMO!

It all just sounds too suffocating for words - yucky, yuck, yuckity yuck.

Like those awful sick-making couples you see on American sitcomes - puke!

Cheers Martha! I had a slither of hope remaining about my once washboard stomach, but that has now evaporated completely...(I will have a BABY though!)

I can see where the OP is coming from in a way because so many men do carry on as though pregnancy hasnt got much to do with them. Then they have a shock when theyve suddenly got a baby in their arms.

But I liked what someone said about it being an uniquely female experience, which it is. I think the mans job in all of this is to take really good care of his partner, going to TESCOs late at night for some random craving, earning money if she has to stay at home, bringing fruit and water when she has m/s, putting up with the hormones and being generally supportive. We can just lie back and accept all this attention and support and its lovely. Being supportive obviously includes not going out on benders with his mates, while shes stuck at home with her hot chocolate. But i don`t think you have to lay down the law about whether he can drink or not.

I've been thinking of this thread a bit, and even though I found it really funny (well some of the things you said noodle are just so amusing I also thought that maybe you're just not having an easy ride of this pregnancy lark .. that happens (I had 2 very strange pregnancies with problems I won't mention now)

I wanted you to know that even though atm you're stuck in the middle of it and it sometimes feels too much there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get through this and it will be worth it in the end ..

.. if I'm allowed to give one piece of advice I would say don't try to share your misery with your partner by making him do what you have to do to protect the child inside you .. instead try to make him alleviate your problems / worries by taking care of you and doing nice things

.. you both have a role to play .. don't make him share yours, think of things you'd like and ask him to do them for you ...

Brilliant thread, really cheered me up on a day when I am 4 weks off my due date and feel like crap.

I'm sorry but get your head out of your backside Noodle and lighten up, otherwise the only person who is going to suffer is YOU. If you take umbrance at every comment flung your way during pregnancy and in bringing up your child, not only will you be very angry a lot of the time but you will totally miss the good parts of having the baby in the first place!

Speaking as someone who struggled to get this far, via various fertility treatments and heartbreak - all I can say is count your blessings love..........plenty of people have it alot harder than you and would swap places with you in a nanosecond.

As someone said earlier, pepole are just looking for something positive to say to you and to be honest I can see why - you sound like you spend most of your time sneering and snarling right now so I think I would struggle for something polite to say to you!

kayzed - you cow!

By NoodleKitkat's way of thinking, whilst my dh was serving in Iraq, I should have got my neighbours to shoot at me whenever I set foot outside. I wonder if you can buy armoured glass for a Citroen Berlingo....

Haven't read the thread but here is my take on it.
I am 5 months pregnant with my 3rd. When DP says 'i fancy a beer do you mind?' it actually really irritates me. Why should i mind? He is not pregnant so he is not restricted in what he drinks.
When i gave up smoking, then if he had lit up a cigar (he used to have one once a week or so) infront of me then i would think he was a tosser as it was Hell and i was giving up an addiction but him having a drink or something i can't eat doesn't bother me at all.

Haven't read the thread but here is my take on it.
I am 5 months pregnant with my 3rd. When DP says 'i fancy a beer do you mind?' it actually really irritates me. Why should i mind? He is not pregnant so he is not restricted in what he drinks.
When i gave up smoking, then if he had lit up a cigar (he used to have one once a week or so) infront of me then i would think he was a tosser as it was Hell and i was giving up an addiction but him having a drink or something i can't eat doesn't bother me at all.

Just skimmed the thread and agree with those who say pregnancy is a blessing not a curse.
I have chronic heartburn already and feel like a vat of acid is poured down my neck every day, have horrendous mood swings too. It's not a magical Disney experience as you say Noodle but i really think if you chill a bit and look at the positives of it, you may enjoy it more instead of enduring it.

sorry suej, will you still be my new friend ?? change "lawyerly" to "numbery" things. its all this working that's addled my brain. well thats my excuse for now.

Armoured Berlingo - classic!

Shall we wander over to the due in May thread and see how many of them are still enjoying their pregnancies and how many are fed up and want it out?

There is nothing wrong with a woman who doesn't anjoy being pregnant. Okay, some aspects are fun, and anticipating the baby, what she/he will look like, etc. are all very positive. But, really, I have heard many a pregnant woman moan about wanting it over with.

Hi Suej. Nice to see you around. And, yes, threads get much more out of hand than this one! Just you go have a chat about Gina Ford or SAHM vs. WOHM... Oh, or sections vs. natural.

Men!

I am 9mnths pg. Enjoying every minute - not!!!
Picked DH up from pub on Sunday to find him - wait for it....stone cold sober!! That really put me in a bad mood - what a waste! What a wimp!
Gave me an excuse about might need to drive to hospital later, Far too reasonable for my hormones!

On the other hand my SIL's DH spent 2 pregnancies on the razzle with his mates and on the first occasion was too pissed to drive her to hospital. They had to wake up a neighbour in the middle of the night. ( I would have got a taxi!!) And he has the cheek to get all preachy about breastfeeding etc.

Freaky - I will still be your friend as you said "numbery" not "bean-countery" - my pet hate. I didn't spend 6 years training to be called a bloody bean counter by anyone and especially not people who need me to save their company from bankruptcy...

I can't speak for pregnancy hormones but can speak for IVF hormones having done 3 back to back within 9 months (does that count as a pregancy?!). If anyone asked how I was, I got upset because I didn't want to talk about it and if they didn't ask how I was I got upset because they didn't care enough to ask me.

I asked the family how they coped with this and they said they just started with the assumption that whatever they did would be wrong and went from there! Aren't men expected to that in pregnancy? I don't drink much so I'm quite used to others drinking around me - wouldn't bother me. But then, I am quite dull (being an accountant and all).

As one of the memebers of the due in May club, of course I agree there are aspects that get moaned about and we would all prefer it to be smooth sailing and more pleasant............doesn't mean I take it out on innocent bystanders that happen to give my other half a compliment for being one of the more understamding members of his sex.

They are being nice - not sexist. Get over it and realise there is more to life for goodness sake.....

Let him have his moment. You'll get all the attention when tha sprog arrives. Of course, then the sleepless nights start, and the arguments begin again...

Actually, I can see where the OP is coming from. I think she said it was her dh's decision to give up and that she didn't force him, was that right?

Well in any case, that is what dp and I decided - that we were both going to give up or in dp's case cut down drastically (it was about time, believe me), however all I heard was people going on and on about how marvellous he was, what a saint, didn't he want just one tiny beer, etc "Oh go on franny let him have one"

It was his choice but he was some sort of martyred soul, whereas I was doing no more than what was expected of me. I think it is sexist - society thinks that men can't possibly do without a drink, while a woman easily can, no skin off her nose at all. It's all a crock of sh*t.