Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

[eagleray]

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome

PREGNANT FAB 40s
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
ChairmanWow, 40, DC2 (girl), due 15/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 46, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due 14/06
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
LottieH, 44, DC5, due mid August
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept

PREGNANT FAB 40s
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
ChairmanWow, 40, DC2 (girl), due 15/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 46, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
cyclecamper 42, DC1 due 14/06
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
LottieH, 44, DC5, due mid August
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept

Edited to put me in the right order!

PREGNANT FAB 40s
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
ChairmanWow, 40, DC2 (girl), due 15/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 46, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 4/4 - ELCS
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
cyclecamper 42, DC1 due 14/06
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
LottieH, 44, DC5, due mid August
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept

just to put in my c-section date

Somewhere - I can't believe in a couple of weeks you (and then I) will be top of the list! For so long it felt like we were stuck down at half way... What a journey we've all been on.
Sleep well.

I can't believe I'm second on the friggin' list! Been so absorbed in moving house that I'd forgotten that I'm 'avin' a bladdy baybay!. That might explain why I spent literally an hour sobbing this afternoon because the decorator is costing slightly more than we expected. It felt like the end of the world. Maybe the underlying issue was that I'll have to leave the comfort of this wonderful thread soon

Hope you're all bearing up me lovelies.

Ooh I'm in third place (not that this is a competition mind) - everything to play for then....I'm feeling equally fed up - the burning ripping feeling under my bra line isn't going away and I'm starting to walk at the same pace as an old arthritic tortoise who's having a bad day. Ber-luddy hell GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME SOON!!!!!!

chairman yes, I too had tears yesterday. At least you had a reason, mine were induced from a slight face wincing sensation from getting up too quickly. Yes, that's right reduced me to tears for about 10 minutes. So think that you are more than justified to have cried about the decorators - the same situation would probably would have made me hysterical yesterday.

somewhere, scarecrow - looks like a close finish line for you both too!

I'm with chairman I feel incredibly sad that I'll be due to graduate from this lovely thread soon, particularly because I've made this journey with a couple of posters from the conception thread. Honestly, seeing other posts have often made my day or made me feel as there's a lovely group of like minded ladies to whom I can just chat too. Lovely. God, best stop, suspect just writing this could invoke my lower lip to start quivering. Right, going to man up (yeah right really do think that phrase should definitely be woman up) and get on with my day. Might even eat a tin of pineapple .

I third you all about leaving mums-to-be-thread, but we get to join Eagle and other lovely ladies the other side. Plus we can come back and be wise old crones from time to time
Glad I'm not the only cry-er, though virtual hug to those of you who have taken up my mantle. I'm just a breathless walrus now
Happy Mondays x

here is the link to the grads thread that is just waiting to welcome all of you
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1661944-Further-freakingly-fantabulous-adventures-of-the-40-Mummies

wish you all a lovely sunny Monday

Goodness me, so many due dates coming up in quick succession. I know this has been discussed, but it's good to see the stats list to have a proper idea of who's due when. It seems like about 3 weeks since knicky announced her BFP on the 40+ TTC thread, but it obviously isn't!

Chairman, the deep clean sounds fab, but the place must have been filthy. I hope you're settling in a bit better now.

Scarecrow, are you less worried about your very active LO? I'm sure s/he is fine, but I hope you've had some reassurance. I'm sorry your DP has retreated into panic mode again, it's not easy is it?

I completely understand the bursting in to tears at the drop of a hat, and I'm only (just) into the second trimester. I hope the discomfort is easing a bit for those of you very close to your due dates. I seem to have forgotten a lot of physical symptoms from late pregnancy, so I'm sure it'll all come flooding back when I get to that stage.

Somewhere the cake sounds fab! How is your DS's hand doing? And MissM, the vintage festival sounds great, what a shame it was cancelled and you had to miss out on being Carmen Miranda!

Talking of cake, is there any way of avoiding gestational diabetes? I haven't been eating as well as I should be, as I don't feel very interested in food at the moment. I know we're at higher risk because we're older, and also DD was a big baby, but I really hope to avoid it. I was a bit overweight when I got pregnant (BMI 26) so I'm sure that won't help. Or is it just you either get or you don't?

DH and I talked at the weekend. It didn't go well. I yelled at him at one point, which I don't think I've ever done before, as in general we don't argue much. And of course there were many tears. The upshot is he sees me being pregnant as a problem and therefore the solution is to have a termination. I have said I can't do that, he doesn't understand why not and interprets it that I won't terminate and am therefore not prepared to compromise. I cannot see how a termination is a compromise. He said he agreed to TTC because he thought it'd make me happy , clearly I'm not because he's not. He just doesn't want another child, and as knicky says, I do feel I've been duped, because he led me to believe he was ok with it. He is refusing point blank any sort of counselling as he says it doesn't work for him, and doesn't think Relate'd be any help, using how difficult it'd be to find the time as one argument against it. And he won't talk to any of his friends, saying they won't understand. The only concrete worry I could get out of him was that he's extremely concerned about having a disabled child, and of course I can't say that we definitely won't. He just thinks it puts everything back another 5 years. He has said he can't leave us though, so maybe that's a positive.

I was hoping to visit my brother and tell him on Sunday but he phoned to say my nephew had a tummy bug and not to take DD. I didn't mean to, but just burst into tears when I spoke to him, so I had to tell him and I so didn't want to do it on the phone. He's very pleased to be getting another niece/nephew, and will be taking DH out for beers as soon as he can. They get on very well, so I really hope this doesn't damage their relationship.

Sorry to vent (again).

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, onward and upward into another week.

Adding myself to the stats list:

PREGNANT FAB 40s
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
ChairmanWow, 40, DC2 (girl), due 15/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 46, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
cyclecamper 42, DC1 due 14/06
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
LottieH, 44, DC5, due mid August
Sparklysapphire, 44, DC2, due 28/8
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept

Oh sparkly I'm so sorry you're not getting anywhere with your DP. I don't know if you agree but I wonder if he knows he's being unreasonable hence his reluctance to speak to anyone about it. Sadly there is compromise in this situation - you keep the baby or you don't. Re his concerns about disabilities, your stats were amazing weren't they. Clearly anything could happen but I wonder if again this is an excuse. He really does sound like he needs some help getting his head round the fact that this is happening. It's good that your brother and he get on well. Hopefully DB will help him start to see sense.

I honestly think my DH has just been trying to avoid thinking about this baby much at all. He didn't particularly want kids but understood that I really did. We still put it off a good few years and I really had to lay it on the line to make it happen. He absolutely loves DS to pieces, best thing that has happened to him etc. I hope he reacts the same again. They can go from being reluctant to becoming great dads. You've got a good bit of time to try and work stuff out.

knicky and scarecrow the crying is shocking! I didn't get this last time, maybe a little teary when I saw babies but not this teenage 'my life is over' because we've bloody run out of milk stuff. I'm feeling a bit like a freak!

So anyway it turns out I'm carrying a bit of a whopper. Had my scan to check her position this morning and she's head down (yay!). In fact I can feel her hiccuping away there now. She's also about 8.5lbs already, at 38+3, though the scan lady reckons they're probably a bit out on that and the only big bit is her podgy tum. They're not doing anything unless my community midwives become concerned at our appointments. So, a lovely chubby lady. My boy was such a skinny thing I'm really looking forward to a wee chunkster. If she could have mad sticky up hair that would be even better!

sparkly good advice from chairmanwow there
I'd second that he is aware his stance isnt easy to justify. Maybe the disabled child worry is eating him up and given your stats he is virtually certain to have it alleviated after birth in which case you'll get him back.

Yup scarecrow it's 4 weeks this thurs!!!

knicky that is vivid. You've suffered long and valiantly - soon be over.

I've not cries much recently but remember first time round being in floods of tears in a cafe about baby p. I did cry at a ridunculous storyline on true blood so that counts maybe. Think it is all good and no shame.

Re my son's hand sparkly long story. It looks and moves like normal but when I went to see my retired doctor dad who also cut a nerve in his finger he tested sensation in the worst affected finger and there was none. It scared the crap put of me And cue yet another exhausting day in a&e. Harassed a&e surgeon said nerve regeneration is unpredictable and they shouldn't have promised 100% recovery but having said that ds had gone to one of top hand surgery u nits in uk and also as he wasn't complaining about pain, that indicated a successful repair. The physio changed her story when we next saw her saying sensation could take 3 months.

Apart from the worry it's intriguing - he suddenly won't let me hold the hand and I am hoping that's cause it's tingling like crazy!

You wouldn't know to look at him that anything was different.

Xxxx

Ps chairman wow that's so cute -fat bellied girl! Its what I'm hoping for too but hardly dare believe it's gonna be a girl! Not till I see it

Xxx

Pps I will soon post on graduates thread - need to hear from people on the other side as feeling the fear.! Love this thread - you are all superb and have helped keep me sane quite literally.

Xxx

Somewhere Not often in this town you get the chance to dress up (and without ex's ex hanging round like the bad fairy...). Also because I helped out with promo, we could afford to go as we got free tickets. Not so easy when you live in the arse end of nowhere somewhere remote, to find interesting things to do that you can afford/afford to get to!

Notsoold Have had previous MMC, and an ectopic...just wait for the scan, you may be worrying over nothing xxx

Sparkly DH telling you he's unhappy? What about you, and your feelings. Seems very unfair... You're not 'putting him through' anything, it should be a wonderful experience xxx

We're all 'quite old'!

Waves to bbd!

cyclecamper Urgh, know what you mean about the not sleeping...I dream of sleep!

ChairmanWow May seem absolutely daunting, but at least you are going to be able to make the house 'yours'. We live in rented property, so never quite feels 'ours'. At least it's clean now, deep clean sounds absolutely fab!

PaulaPixie Waves in welcome!!

Scarecrow Ooh, ELCS setting date getting very close...!

Knicky gosh, 38 weeks...and I'm moaning about aches and pains!

Scarecrow Wish I lived closer to a John Lewis...would have to go about 70 miles for one!

somewhere Victoria Sponge perfectly reasonable diet...!

cyclecamperGalettes and brioche? Is your DH secretly French, or does he just love cooking like mine?

scarecrow ChairmanWow Knicky Ooh, it's all getting close!

Gosh, there will be none of us left on here soon 'sniffs'...

sparkly Gestational diabetes? I think you either have a tendency to get it or you don't. I'd guess putting on too much weight and/or living on cake probably wouldn't help. I had it with DD as well, and I was skinny smaller and fifteen years younger then...

Oh, Sparkly, it sounds like he lulled you into a false sense of security because he thought it just wouldn't happen...but it's not fair to put you through this, and plain childish of him not to want to talk about it... That said, men don't seem to use friends as a support network in the way women do...

ChairmanWow The crying? I was inconsolable in a material shop yesterday because I wanted to buy fabric to make pretty things for LO...and the prices have gone up so sharply I can't even afford to do that...

Wow, big baby! That sounds good... DD had the sticky-up hair....!

Somewhere Sounds like DS is healing, sometimes it taked time. DD burnt leg terribly when she was 4, and scarred badly, but noticed on holiday last year, you can't even see it now...

As for me... very nervous about the anomaly scan on Wednesday...it's been weeks since last had a scan and am so terrified something will go wrong (previous experience, I guess)...

Also stupid Tribunal have demanded medical reports and proof I'm fit to attend/unfit to attend, then want to know 'how long before I will be better after birth' Um, don't even know when or how giving birth yet? Plus I have all the pain issues I had before pg, and now have no meds for...

When do they want this? By Wednesday. Can't even get to see my frigging GP, had a stand up row at surgery this morning...they don't answer phone, so get bus down there...to be told 'phone not working'.... and that I should repeat charade on Tues and Weds on offchance I might see her. Finally see another GP who asks me what the hell I'm doing seeing him? Grrrr!

I'm not sleeping at night, morning when I catch up, and PGP/SPD so bad am now supposed to be on crutches...!!

My consultant obstetrician is on holiday...

Do the Tribunals think you might be an NHS patient and not able to whip up these things on demand? Guess they all have oodles of private Drs on tap at will....

So, a bit stressed out. Ex-employers also pissing aorund with witnesses again....

Rant over.... (you can tell I'm not sleeping....!)

Tell them 8 or 10 weeks after due date - gives time for overdue baby and recovery and you can negotiate to 6 weeks in a pinch.

Oh yes cyclecamper yes your husband sounds amazing. He sounds like he belongs in the cafe lounge actually with his culinary skills! Just the word 'galette' is lovely let alone home made reality.

Xx

Or mine...he makes a mean galette and even better crepes! Just had lovely chinese food he made himself....

Hey badmiss crossed posts. I think we all agree it's an outrage that you are denied the chance to dress up as Carmen Miranda and I'm wondering if you can hold a fancy dress party to compensate. Obviously one is very geared up to such antics mid-pregnancy but you did manage 14 people at Xmas in your first trimester.

On a more serious note, good luck with your anomaly scan - quite nerve wracking and I'm crossing everything for you. I'm sure it will be fine ESP in light of excellent harmony results. Will you find out the gender?

Yes your and campers DH's should have a privileged place in the cafe-lounge - there for what they can do not what they look like unlike the other men (though I'm sure they are totally gorgeous).

Xxx

Memo to self: do not give 2yo raspberry porridge for breakfast. Especially when you are wearing a white dressing gown.

Morning all!

On a different note: what do you think of Charlie and Lola? DD thinks she loves but I'm not sure about messaging (can be a bit bratty) or language (deliberately bad grammer). Am I being OTT?

Yes - blueberry jam a controlled substance in our house! Have let ds believe he won't like it.

Charlie and Lola - I feel good reading it to my ds as Charlie is a saint. Lola however is possibly a burgeoning narcissist so can see what you mean! She might also just be a burgeoning big character tho.

Yes the grammar - I think they will get the joke as they get older.

Xxzzz

Good point about diff between Charlie & Lola characters. Maybe I can persuade DD she is like the more grown up sibling.

Not too worried about DD's talking, but wd not want too much of that sort of example-setting. I have to say the cuteness of it wore off on me v quickly. But maybe I'm just a bit too grumpy these days
Makes me realise how few children's books use "kiddy talk".

First day back after "exhaustion" leave and I didn't get home til nearly half 9 and then had to finish a bit of work. They really don't get it, do they?

11 days to go!!

Scarecrow, I hope you feel better after your time off, but a late finish on your first day back doesn't bode well. At least it'll be over soon! Can I ask what you do - I understand if you'd rather not say? at the raspberry porridge. I still won't let DD drink grape juice out of a cup without a lid, as it'll just go horribly wrong.

MissM, the tribunal process sounds so stressful. Do you know if this is typical or have you just been particularly unlucky? It seems calculated to put you off and make drop the case, but you're not going to do that after all this time. I hope all is clear on your scan tomorrow. I was really nervous for my 20 week scan with DD and I know I will be again. I think some people forget it's an anomaly scan, and just think it's as another chance to see their baby.

Chairman, DD was 9lb12oz, and had a head full of dark curly hair when she was born. I was 2 weeks over though, and I said she'd be big and hairy (I know it's myth, but I had terrible heartburn from 4 months, and I was huge by then) and everyone said I was mean to talk about my baby like that, even though I was right. Interesting about birthweight and being on a drip, as I had one while in labour so I wonder if that affected her, especially as she lost lots of weight in her first few days.

DH knows he's not reacting normally so won't talk to his mates because he thinks, probably rightly, that they won't understand. My DB is keen to talk to him about the pregnancy, but not sure if that's mutual.

Hi to knicky, cycle, somewhere, bbd, paula, and anyone I've missed.

badmiss it's your right to dress up as Carmen Miranda, god dammit! I'd just start wearing the costume day-to-day and become the village eccentric. Or wear it to hospital when you go into labour. In fact I want one now. I'm raiding the fruit bowl!

Give the tribunal as long as you think it will take and don't feel you need to rush. It's normally a panel of lay people who hear it, but not everyone understands the impact of having a baby and sometimes they don't really get that being involved in the ET process can be very stressful. It's your case so you have a right to have it heard fairly, which means you being fit and well. But I wouldn't advise going as Carmen - maybe put her away that day!

somewhere hope that is your son's hand regaining feeling. It's crap that you weren't given the proper prognosis. Normally HCPs are very cautious about such things.

YY and Y again to cheffy husbands in the snug. I'm so jealous. Mine struggles with beans on toast. When I had HG and he was left to his own devices for a few weeks his diet was horrific. I think he ate several Shergars. Thankfully when I'm not sticking my head down the loo I love cooking so it kind of works. But I still want gallettes served to me please!

Charlie and Lola - I think it's really sweet. Charlie is a total lovely but I think Lola's very cute. I'd go for big character rather than narcissist, unlike that bloody Upsy Daisy. I could happily give her a slap. Actually that's really bad isn't it.

We've been without telly for a week and it's actually been really nice mostly. I've missed it when I've been really knackered and wanted to flop, and I need Great British Menu back in my life. The Sky man is out there right now drilling away. Yay! Self-torture with OBEM on 4OD later on, but I do think we'll do less telly watching. Have really enjoyed listening to Marc Riley on 6 Music.

Anyway, enough blether. Enjoy the sunshine!

cylecamper It's how long is a piece of string...depends if I get the ELCS or not, and how it goes... was ill for weeks after DD and if it's episiotomy time won't be able to sit on it for an eight and a half hour day in court...

Somewhere Might just use it as an excuse for birthday party...have a Carmen Miranda birthday!

Still nervous about scan, but as you say, had good Harmony results.... DH IS gorgeous (but maybe I'm a bit biaised!)

Used to control chocolate spread with DD after the amount of times we got out and I had to do emergency repairs (and it looks so much like poo!)

Oh Scarecrow, do they not realise that if they carry on like that you'll be back on 'exhaustion' leave in no time at all!

Sparkly All Tribunals stressful, but this one worse than usual apparently, even according to court.... I got a written aplogy from senior Judge, and has been delayed agin since then... ex-employers aren't helping...

ChairmanWow It's my usual sort of outfit...pregnancy has calmed my look down a lot, maybe because I can't find pg clothes as outrageous as my normal ones!

Psychologically, and financially, I need this tribunal over and done with. It's been the Sword of Damocles hanging over my head for five years. Having to be constantly available means you can't plan anything, or guarantee you'll be able to do things.... As most of my friends and all of my family at other end of the country, that's hard...

The tribunal seem to think you can be there the day before and after the birth...don't even know when it will be and how... plus if it goes on after will have massive childcare issues as have to be there for three days (staying over).

Yes, DH has his failings but I will never starve to death...the opposite, maybe!! Though when am starving to death sometimes and he makes elaborate and lengthy dinner, just wish he would do egg and chips for once!

Even we have sunshine!! But I have to go and spend half the day at the hospital for DD's toes...pah! Then again tomorrow... (wouldn't be so bad if hospital didn't say appts can be up to 2 hours late for each!!!)