Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

[ellesabe]

"You need to get a grip"

and

"What the heck is wrong with you?"

'are you going to drop that thing in here?' said to a heavily pregnant lady wheesing in a lift.

the response.... ' no i had it this morning, i just nipped out for a fag!'

God, you're soooo big!

Sounds like you are having a similar day to me!

Mine:

'Snap out of it'

And never complain about being 'the family slave' to a pregnant woman who is mother to two under 4s already, does most of the childcare aside from when she works 25 hours a week and does everything around the house when you are asked to do a couple of simple child related tasks

(So angry I barely make any sense)

'thought you were much further along than that'
Things you should do to a pregnant woman- try to lift her top up to see what her belly looks like- seriously a woman a work actually tried to do this to me

You can tell your pg from your face

Have you not had that baby yet

anything LOL

oh its getting nice and big = you're fat and your baby will be 13lbs
you're nice and neat = you are too small, your baby is too small
how are you feeling? - "how do you think?"
Do you want my seat = you're useless cause you're pregnant sit down and get out of everyone's way
can you feel kicks yet = you should feel kicks by now, if you don't there's something wrong with your baby

etc
there's no right way to talk to a pregnant lady , and its wrong to not talk about it too LOL

"wow - you're huge"

Just what an emotional wreck, recovered anorexic wants to hear....twice a day, every day....

Pochuchka you make perfect sense to me!

Mrswolowitz - I think the pickled egg thing is fair enough. Pickled onions are awful, pickled eggs are lovely. :)

DH just said to me this evening (38 weeks pg) watching me struggle to balance a plate on my lap "god, you arent getting even bigger are you?" not impressed.

Me (smoothing down new outfit for much anticipated night out when pregnant with DS) - "How does this look"?

DH - "tight"

What part of his brain could possibly have imagined that that was what I wanted to hear??

"Morning sickness is mind over matter"

Said to me by my uncle when I was in the horrors of 1st tm.

As I was getting out of my car at 37 weeks my usually lovely neighbour said "I'm surprised you haven't got pickfords chauffeuring you about yet"

At 40+2 I think I might kill the next person who calls me just to ask if there is 'any action' yet. Mil calls 3 times a day to do this, which is ridiculous as she is our designated dog sitter when I need to go in so will be first to know.

"Have you had baby yet?" texts!!!!!

Yeah like I'm going to keep the baby a secret

"I thought you were pg, you've been looking very sturdy"

"It would be better if the baby was a boy. A boy would be better"

• two recent gems from my MiL

Can you just pick that up off the floor for me-

NO! I can barely reach to put my own socks on, getting harder every day. You can reach down without agony/severe heartburn/taking 10 mins so please do and save me the trouble.

You look like you're about to explode.

Your massive. Not long now/oh thats quite a long time really.

My favourite from a work colleague:
"I wonder if you'll get as big this time round. You were an absolute whale last time."

Oh, from my boss two years ago when I told him I was 16 weeks pg - "Oh goodness, I thought you had got rather buxom lately" - while continuing to stare at my chest. Yuk.

My brother today asked me how soon I was going to join the gym and work off all the weight. Cheeky bastard.

Has anyone noticed how people tend to look at your stomach when they first see you? And then continue to talk to your bump rather than you?