Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

[ellesabe]

"You need to get a grip"

and

"What the heck is wrong with you?"

Oh yes and waitress serving whole table wine at a birthday lunch out asked all 10 people around the table 'white or red' then got to me and put the wine away, asked if I wanted coke or lemonade!?!? I wouldn't have drank the wine but don't take my choices away!!!!

"Oooh, you are waddling now" said to me by my boss towards the end of my last pregnancy.
"Thanks, I've always wanted to waddle" said by me in a very unimpressed way!

"Oh god it's the hormones talking again"

it's not the hormones, you're just an arse!

I was about 28 weeks pregnant and at work.. A cameraman I barely know purposefully came up to me and asked if I was pregnant... (I was NOT SMALL so it was fairly obvious.)

I said yes with a big smile on my face...

He said.. 'Oh no! What are you going to do about it?!'

I said 'We'll probably go ahead and keep it now!'

Ridiculous.

And "what are you wearing!?" When I was wearing one of the only pair of trousers that would fit me

I asked for help at work, (I work in a hospital) the replay was,

"Why?, (grunt) your pregnant not ill!!"
Evil

Why are you so big, is it twins?

Ooh look you've got muffin tops to go with your massive bump!

You know its really going to hurt don't you? I mean the worst pain imaginable, you'll want to die to make the pain stop (not true btw)

Hurry up and get on with it, we've been waiting long enough - said to me when I was overdue and really fed up!

Honestly some people should not be allowed out in public without a list of acceptable phrases to say to a pregnant woman!

An elderly man, a total stranger, walked up to me and poked me in my 5 - 6 month sizeable bump.
"That'll be all the cream cakes then!"
I was so shocked that he'd touched me and been so rude I was rude right back:
"Sperm actually"
He was left rooted to the spot with mouth agape while I waddled stalked off furious.

All from work people....

*I can't wait to see you waddle down the office, its going to be hilarious....'

'Everytime I see you you're eating, don't you ever stop? It's nice using pregnancy to eat more'... Errrr no, everytime you've seen me its been when i'm having my LUNCH at the same time everyday and the same amount I ate BEFORE I got pregnant. Grrr

'Who ate all the pies...' 'Alright chubbo..' 'You're starting to get big aren't you'

My personal favourite, 14 weeks pregnant with twins after hearing part of a conversation with another colleague... ' I think we would know if you were pregnant with twins...', 'Errrr I am pregnant with twins...' to which he replied 'Well that told me didn't it'. Well don't say something so rediculous, the babies are tiny so i'm hardly going to just balloon overnight. lol!!

"I think you're faking your morning sickness"

A comment from my female with three kids boss when I was pregnant with my first. bitch

After being sick 40 times a day and having a huge amounts of ketones and protein in my urine. GP says - 'Have you tried ginger' - if I had felt better I would have ripped his head off!

My Mum said "Do you know, I think your bum has got bigger!"

as if it was fecking news to me!!! [hangry]

"Is that good news?" said to me by the doctor when I told him I was pregnant (I was 35 with no children, so not an underage teenager or anything that might have suggested it wouldn't be).

'Oh, look at our wee Teletubby'.

DH's aunt to me when I was about 30 weeks pg with DS.
I could have struck her.

On my last day at work before maternity leave (38 weeks pg)

My boss: Regretting it yet?
Me: Err, no
My boss: You will

Jammother yes! If someone recommended ginger to me one more time when I had Hyperemesis I swear I would've rammed ginger biscuits down their throat! And my gp asking 'is it your first' when I rang up begging for help and then saying 'well these things are all part of pregnancy' when I answered yes. Two days later I ended up in hospital on a drip for 3 days, although according to the above gp I was not dehydrated.

I moved doctors practices the following week as a result!

My DH said "you know, you don't look pregnant, you just look fat" That was at about 16 weeks. Even though it was true, he really shouldn't have said it.
I put it on Facebook for everyone to see! He was mortified!
He still calls me fatty now (@ 31 weeks) but as his gut is still bigger than mine I just say that at least mine will have gone in a few months, what about his!!!

The amount of people who say "you've already got a son? Well you'll be wanting a girl this time!"

My father in law said: "so what's your gut feeling? A boy or girl?"
Me: definitely reckon its another boy
FIL: no, what's your gut feeling really?

We had the same conversation a few weeks later...

I've had a LOT of "I thought you were further on than 23 weeks." I know I am big, I was fat to start with and the baby is measuring long. I don't need you to remind me of it!

Amusingly, the one friend came up to me in the playground the other day and said "Fuck me, that's an enormous bump, is it baby or cake?" Rather than offending me she made me laugh with her bluntness - at least she said what she was thinking!

These have got to be in the top 10

-Any comment at all about the bump - 'wow you're huge / small / carrying high / low' etc.

-In fact any comment about pregnancy related changes in looks - SIL was told 'wow you've really put on weight on your face'!

• 'was it planned'?
• 'trying for a girl / boy?' (if you have children of the opposite gender)
• Any tales about sleepless nights / general difficulties of having a newborn / how it will be so much harder with another child, etc. etc.

how it will be so much harder with another child, etc. etc.

Oh yes! If one more person tells me how going back to having a newborn after 9 years is to be a shock to the system I might actually punch someone!

"It'll come when it's ready."

Or it might come at 40+14 when the induction that I really, really did not want is booked...

what gets me is when people jump on any opportunity to show how much they know about babies and how naive you must be." ooh you won't be able to do that when the baby is here". sod off

Dontcarehow...I get this all the time when I say that I can't wait to meet him (I'm due in 5 weeks)
'Oh you won't be saying that when you've had no sleep for months and he's been sick all over you!'
Also DH gets told all the time...you won't be allowed to play golf anymore when he's here! (Said by DH best mate who's life is dictated to by g/f! Lol)

People make out that you life stops when DC are born!

From my boss when I rang in sick with killer hormone headaches: "Fuck. I've got to deal with another six months of this?"

From a customer: "Do you know who the father is?"