Missed miscarriage

[C4ALR]

I have found out today I have had a missed miscarriage. I still have the foetus in my womb. I have opted to pass it naturally instead of surgery but a now bit scared as unsure what to expect?
Am I going to go to the toilet and pass a large clot?
Please help :(

[janey1234]

I'm really glad I have. Oddly it feels like my loss meant something in a way, as at least my experience has helped someone.

I promise you I felt like I was going mad at times - I'd feel fine then WHAM it would hit me, and I felt back to square one all over again. It's just you spent those weeks thinking about the baby, your new family, how your lives would change, and then it's all so cruelly taken away.

But I promise you it does get easier.

I found out I'd had a MMC on 8th October. I didn't cry apart from about 30 seconds on that day when I rang my brother (who lived in Singapore at the time) to tell him. Then over Christmas I felt horrendous and it all hit me. I started going to counselling in Jan, and met my now DP a week later (well, I've known him for years, but we got together in Jan) and gradually I started to improve and my life changed. So it took a long time, and will probably take a long time for you, but you WILL get there.

Do think about counselling if you think you need it, but I'll always be here for you should you need to chat xx

[C4ALR]

Yes you have defantly helped me.

Its crazy how ppl react differently isnt it, iv cried so much escpecially on the monday I had my scan wen they couldnt find the heart beat, I couldnt stop that day.

I feel like ppl at wrk arnt very supportive, but im not sure if they are just avoiding the subject. Everyone keeps tellin me to go for the deputy job but I dnt care about that, a while ago I would of done but at the moment I dont.

I think I like talking to you because you know exactly what im feeling. Sometimes you actually explain how I am feeling better than me :)

How are you feeling anyway, are you having extra scans or anything to keep an eye on you or not?

X

[janey1234]

I guess that anyone that's been through it can completely empathise with anyone else. I think I would have found it hard to imagine just how hard it is before I went though it, and it's hard to explain to anyone that hasn't....

In terms of the job, only you can know what to do. All I would say is that whilst you might not care now, as in the big scheme of things work really doesn't matter, if you do get pregnant it might be nice to get maternity leave on a bigger salary. So if it's more money it might be worth considering - it might help you afford more time off work if/when you choose to try to get pregnant again and have a baby...

I'm fine thanks. First doctors appt today. Am going to ask for an early reassurance scan - I basically have all of December off to go on two holidays, and land back on 24th and will have a 12 week scan then. But I don't think I will be able to go on hol without going mental unless I can have a scan before to check all is OK. If he says no I'm going to ask the hospital directly - apparently at my hospital if you've already have one miscarriage you're allowed to refer yourself...

Hope you're feeling OK today... xx

[C4ALR]

Good luck at the doctors today x

I would want a scan early aswell just to put my mind at rest abit. If you cant have one on nhs would you go private. I dont no where you are obviously so prices might vary. But I went private wen I had my scan and it was £60.

You sound like you have a lovely december planned :) I work right up untill xmas eve until 1pm.

Im ok today bit better than lasr couple of days, but I dnt start wrk until 1 today x

[C4ALR]

Oh, let me know how you get on at the doctors today, thinking of you xx

[C4ALR]

How did you get on today? X

[janey1234]

In and out in about three minutes, completely underwhelming! As expected I guess. Had a minor debate when he said I had to to to my nearest hospital, thankfully I knew better and argued to be referred to a hospital slightly further away.

How was you day? Settling into work ok? Bet you're exhausted.... x

[C4ALR]

So did they agree in then end to refer you to where u wanted to go?
I think doctors try and palm you off with the easiest option for them most of the time.

Work is ok.. I just cant get motivated when im there. I am absolutely knackered cannot wait till tomoro is over. Only got half day tomoro, half 7 ~1, I love fridays.

Im bein really naughty tonight, havin a few malibus on a work night, ha. I got in and really fancied a couple so thought sod it, im havin some.

X

[janey1234]

They did, after a slight battle. Really annoyed me though by asking if the baby was planned: I mean, yes it was, but is that really any of your business?!

Understand the lack of motivation re: work. Everyone gets it anyway from time to time, so is bound to be the case after the crap you've been to - puts everything into perspective I guess.

And it's not naughty! you're allowed to drink, and if you fancy them, why not. Hopefully you'll be pg again soon, and then you'll be off the booze again so may as well make the most of it...

Jealous you've finished for the weekend already! Got anything good planned for the weekend? Try to take it easy whatever you do...
x

[C4ALR]

Yer wen I went to the doctors they asked me if I was pleased about tge pregnancy... I sed I should think so after 18months of trying. But I know wat you mean.

Not got anything good planned, got paperwork to do from work, which might I add we dont get paid to do!

Even though I finished at 1 today only just sat down.. Had some things to do, and the dreaded food shoppin, I hate that.

What about you, doing anything nice? X

[janey1234]

Yeah, nice weekend. It's my bday on Sunday (argh - 38!) so my bf has been spoiling me and took me to petrus (Gordon Ramsay restaurant) for dinner. Very swanky and nice. Stuffed now - and sober due to being pg, not like me!

I hate food shipping too. Got kind of addicted to ordering it online - so lazy but sooo easy!

Look after yourself this weekend - you'll still be physically run down and tired after everything xx

[C4ALR]

That sounds lovely... Bet the food was nice! it sounds like your bf wants to spoil you so make the most of it, haha

Happy birrhday for tomorrow!

x

[C4ALR]

Happy birthday! Have a lovely day, il have a glass of wine for you later x x

[janey1234]

Thank you

Have two for me hey. Jealous!xx

[C4ALR]

Hope you had a good day :)

Did you get spoilt present wise? Spose you got the best present a little bit early anyway having a positive test, best present ever that is for you isn't it.

Hope your taking it easy x

[janey1234]

I did indeed, lovely bracelet and necklace from DP, handbag from folks and lovely kitchen stuff from bro/niece/nephew/sister in law. Lovely weekend and lovely presents.

How you feeling. How was week two of bring back at work? And has the bleeding all finally stopped? Hope so...x

[C4ALR]

Presents sound lovely.

Yer the bleeding and everything has stopped now been clear for bout 3 days, made me feel bit better now that's stopped.

Work was ok, busy but alright. Still tired me out today, watching celebrity get me out of here, bath then bed.

Do you work long hours?

Hope your well, thanks for asking bout me :)

X

[janey1234]

I think you'll be glad to get back into a normal cycle: it's reassuring to know your body is doing it's thing again. You going back on chlomid once you've had your period? One of my best friends might start taking it soon-ish: hope it works for you both.

Glad work was ok if tiring. I need to watch I'm a celeb - I love it!xx

[C4ALR]

Yes I am goin back on clomid, iv got to wait until 30th of this month if I havent had a period the hospital are goin to prescribe me a hormone tablet which brings one on so I can take the clomid. Without the.hormone tablet I could be waitin 2 weeks or 6 months for a.period they are so irregular because of my pcos.

Whats the reason for your friend to take it?

I love celebrity too x

[janey1234]

I guess that's not too long to wait... I have heard on this site of people that have had a miscarriage who have waited a few months for their periods to return, so at least you can take some drugs to kick start things. I'm sure if chlomid worked for you once it will work again - and just because you've had one mc you're no more likely to have another...

My friend has PCOS too, so I think it's an option they're looking at too....

x

[C4ALR]

Yer in glad I dont have to wait ages. I feel like im wishin the months away.

I think my dp is suffering more than wat he is saying. the last couple of weeks hes been really quiet with me, he says hes ok and were ok but something aint right.

I keep thinking id be havin my 12 week scan this week. Spose the milestones are always goin to stand out.

With pcos I think clomid is the 1st treatment they try. Good.luck to her!

[janey1234]

Yes, all the milestones are so hard. Due date is the most obviously difficult one. all i can say though is that you'll get through it. Dreading it coming is almost worse than when it does...

Any idea what's wrong with DP? Maybe he's still struggling as he can see how tough it has been for you....

xx

[C4ALR]

Mmm,.i thought about the due date and how horrible that will be.

Im not sure about dp mixture of things I think... He runs his own buisness but its been very quiet for a while now so finacially were fine but his sanity isnt. He pretty much has nothin to do all day every day so think he sits and worries about stuff. He jus bottles things up and I get the brunt of it. Then I know he feels guilty that he funny with me.

Im sure he will be fine soon x

[emilyc01]

I fell pregnant on the pill, so I went for a dating scan yesterday expecting to see a 8/9 week baby. I knew something was wrong when the sonographer had to do a transvaginal scan. The gestional sac was there, but there was nothing in it. She was very vague and told me this was common when you conceived on the pill. This is my fourth pregnancy, was hopefully going to be third baby as I lost my first. I came out of there confused with no information at all. I have been referred to the EPU for another scan in 7/10 days. I know my own body and realise now that I am having a missed miscarriage. After two beautiful children I had forgotten how painful it is to lose a baby. I feel heartbroken and I can't stop crying. Reading some of these stories, I realise I'm not alone. My Heart goes out to all of you that are experiencing the same pain x

[janey1234]

Oh emily I'm so sorry to hear your news. It is heartbreaking. Really hoping you get through the next few weeks OK - I'm here should you need to talk, and sure that c4 is too. xx