Missed miscarriage

[C4ALR]

I have found out today I have had a missed miscarriage. I still have the foetus in my womb. I have opted to pass it naturally instead of surgery but a now bit scared as unsure what to expect?
Am I going to go to the toilet and pass a large clot?
Please help :(

[C4ALR]

The hospital gave me a phone number I could contact, and im sure my work will aswell. I wrk for hampshire county council so they hav to offer all that sort of thing I think.

I dont think my partner quite understands, Im worried about gettin on his nerves. He isnt very good at showin hos emotions and affection anyway, his mum has told me he is really worried about me and he can see im acting as if im ok bit really he knows im not. I wish he would let me know that though x

[janey1234]

I think it must be hard for partners. Not that I know because my ex was an arse. But if it happens to me this time I can just imagine how my lovely DP would be: gutted, and feel fairly useless. They can't do anything to make it better, and I guess to a man it all seems totally unreal until they see a scan: at least we had a lack of periods and some other symptoms, which made it feel more real. I guess he just wants you to be better and back to yourself, and doesn't know how to make that happen. I'm sure you're not getting on his nerves. Maybe call the number from the hospital, and try to get him to talk to see how he is. He'll be sad too, and if he can talk about it with you, it might just help?
Sorry for the lack of useful advice
x

[C4ALR]

I agree with what your sayin, I no he loves me and I no he finds it hard seein me like I am, I think his feelings are a differnt type of pain than mine, his pain is for me where mine is for the loss x

[janey1234]

I understand that. Like I say, I'd imagine because the pregnancy felt 'less real' in a way possibly to him, just because he didn't live through the symptoms? Must be hard for men - there's nothing they can do to make things like this better, but I'd guess that's all he wants to do. xx

[C4ALR]

Yer I thnk your right, he has said that in a way as well. I feel abit better today than yesterday I just can't wait to get this year out of the way, with one thing and another the last couple of months have been horrible for us, I think once this year is gone, hopefully I shouldn't feel so much pain because a few months would of passed.

How are you feeling, ok? X

[janey1234]

Yes I'm fine thanks. Just the same but a bit more tired - so have just got into bed! Crazy life I'm living at the moment ;-) x

[C4ALR]

Iv'e been out for something to eat with a friend tonight, im ready for bed now haha, im dreading going back to work it's going to tire me out after having 3 weeks off. I go back to a long day too 7;30 - 6;00 working with babies (in a nursery) then having a staff meeting 6;00 - 8;00, lovely!!

x

[hopelesskim]

sorry to hear sweety. i am too going threw the same thing i am a complete mess.but will be doin surgical if possi le . the feeling of keeping my deseace baby in me is driving me mad :(

[C4ALR]

Like ppl have said to me on here, it does get easier. and it does, I have found I have good days and bad days. I passed naturally which as you have probly read, I was in quite abit of pain but soon as it passed the pain stopped really.

you need to do what ever you feel you want to do, how far gone were you? Hope your ok :) x

[janey1234]

Sorry to hear your news hopeless. I chose the same, but unfortunately nature started to take it's course the morning of the op, and ended up doing it naturally (12 weeks along). AS C4 says, it's pretty damn painful at times, but for me, I think it would have been psychologically easier in a way to be just put to sleep and wake up when it's all over, so completely understand your choice.

It's a horrible, horrible thing, and incredibly sad. You will stop being a mess at some point - the days get very gradually easier. In the meantime take it easy and look after yourself - it's a lot tougher physically than you'd expect...

[C4ALR]

Im going to the theatre tonight to see beauty and the beast, weve just eaten but I feel really guilty for having a glass of wine I feel im doin wrong, I know im not but I feel I am x

[janey1234]

Sounds like a good night c4, just what you need. And make the most if the wine - a well deserved treat x

[C4ALR]

It was quite good, not very organised but it was okay.

I only had 2 glasses if wine, funny init u never fancy it wen u can have it x

[C4ALR]

Iv woke up this.morning and started bleeding. I havent bled for 2 days at all, I dont know if it is a period or not, its difficult to know what to do cos I have to take my clomid in the 2nd day of a period, its weird how u got ti take them cos u take them on 2nd to the 7th day of ur period even if u stop bleeding befor u finish taking them. Dont no what to do x

[janey1234]

I'd call your doctors or the early pregnancy unit - I've never taken chlomid so have no idea what to suggest I'm afraid. It could be I guess, or could just be more of the same... x

[C4ALR]

Mmm, thats wat I wondered. I might leav it until tomoro if im stil bleeding then phone them x

[janey1234]

How you getting on? Sorry I've not been in contact - family filled weekend...x

[C4ALR]

Did you have a good weekend?

Im not too bad, still bleeding on and off throughout the day, I did ring a doctor they said it wouldnt be a period yet, I didnt think it would be was just hoping to much I think.

Just gettin ready for my first day back at work, I am dreading it, not sure if I can handle colleges asking how I am, and I hope none of the childrens parents ask whats been up, I dont know what to say, the truth or not. But were see how it goes.

Hope your well and ok x

[janey1234]

Oh good luck for today, will be thinking of you. In my experience the first hour is the worst - and then it just feels weirdly normal. You'll be fine I'm sure, but good luck xx

[janey1234]

Just to say I'm thinking of you - you'll be at work now, hope it's not too tough xx

[C4ALR]

Just got in from work, it wasnt to bad, your right. Bit hectic seems like so much has been changed in 3weeks. Just been told I can go for a deputy manager job though, which is good but scary.

Feel emotionally drained and tired now though. Tea, bath and bed I think x

[janey1234]

Glad if went ok for you, you've done the hardest part :-) xx

[C4ALR]

Yer im ok, having a bad day today but I think its because im worn out, iv done nothin for 3 weeks then done 2 longggg days.

Did u ever get any brownish discharge? (sorry for askin personal things) thats what im gettin now, with bleeding every now and then, this has been going on for 24 days now.. Bleeding/discharge just rubbish stuff x

[janey1234]

Yes, it's old blood. Probably just the last of everything working it's way out

And you're not just tired because you're not used to it, you're tired because what you're going through is massively draining physically as well as mentally. Make sure you get early nights and take the next couple of weeks easy if you can...xx

[C4ALR]

I feel like I talk to u as my own personal counciler, but it helps...

I start to feel better then today iv cried so much I dont know whats up with me, I feel rubbish about myself, I feel like I lokk like I got dark rings round my eyes, I feel fat and horrible, but I no im not cos my most if my clothes are a size 6, its just in my head I think, but as much as I feel fat I just keep comfort eating.

I probly not making much sense but I think it helps writin down how im feeling too.

Thank you again for all your support, as cheesy as it sounds you have really helped me :) x