VERY Shocked father!! What do I do?

[lilly40]

Hi,
I'm 40 and found out I was pregnant on Monday. Told the father on Friday and he was horrifed, saying he is too old, cant afford it, and worse, it will destroy him!! He said he is sorry to be negative, but is in shock. Ive said I wont have a termination and cant do this on my own.
I've not spoken to him since Saturday morning.
What am I going to do?
This wont just change his life. I'll have to sacrifice a lot too.

Ps. As others have said, he WILL have to contribute financially and you should make sure he does. Others will know more, but I don't think it gives him any more or different rights than what he may or may not have anyway.

Reading the last message about the father wanting the child then no doubt he would be pressurising me the other way made me cry!

Oh I'm so sorry sweetie.

I have no idea why some people are like that. I know a couple of adults whose fathers basically disowned them before birth and they are pretty much unaffected by it. They see it as the man's loss ... which it is.

You are going through a really, really tough time right now, so be gentle with yourself. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. The father of your baby, on the other hand, should be ashamed of himself.

You know what, its astounding how many people have written on this post who's partners/boyfriends etc have behaved in such a totally shitty way when their told about the pregnancy. I'm left wondering why as a society men are seemingly getting away scott free with the responsibility of parenthood (men mentioned in this thread, not all men). The women are left with the whole responsibility and left with the feelings of sometimes shame when the men bail out on them. The women take on this shame as their own, which is wrong. Society needs to wake up to what some men are actually really like.
I'm getting more and more excited, scared and nervous all at the same time as the days of my pregnancy progress. I'll be 7 weeks on Wednesday and it seems like its still not really real still.

Decided if it is a girl I will name her Maya, havent got a clue on boys names lol
Any ideas?

I love the name Maya! It's a character's name in a book I like.

Boys names I find easy, girls I struggle with! No-one ever likes mine though so I won't inflict them upon you

Good on you for doing what is right for you and nobody else. My mum raised me without any help from a man and i have turned out perfectly fine. Good luck with your new baby!

Ahh thanks guys. I'm suffering with morning sickness, and still dont know why they call it morning, because I've been feeling sick all day today. Dinner was four satsumas as I just couldn't face a full on meal. Today is the first day I've felt sick all day. Lovely lol

Told my son that I'm pregnant today and he was cool about it!! yeeaahhh

Hey lily, How are you doing? Glad to hear it went well telling your son your news. I hope everything is going well for you xx

Hi berni1310 I'm good thanks. 8 weeks pregnant, 9 on Wednesday and feeling very sick with morning sickness and bloated, but other than that I'm ok. First antenatal appointment tomorrow at 8am lol

Good luck lilly, read this thread early on. V pleased that your son is happy for you. I echo Nahla, my mum raised me on my own without that feckless excuse of a man that is my father. Hope the antenatal appointment went well.