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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

did you get pregnant because you were broody or for the sake of your relationship?

43 replies

cranberryheights · 28/02/2006 22:11

Just curious about this. I haven't put it very well in the title but what I meant was: I was never particularly broody before or even in the early stages of marriage. Nor did I ever feel that I "should give dh a baby" or whatever. However, there came a point in the relationship where I wanted to take the marriage to greater heights and I wanted to have a child with dh rather than a child per se IYSWIM. So at least when trying to get pregnant I was mainly thinking about wanting to carry dh's child and wanting us to have a child to deepen our relationship. It was only after the birth that the whole focus fell on ds and I realised what a blessing it was to have a child (and to want more :)).

So, I'm just curious what motivated other people to try to get pregnant. Was it feeling broody,independently of the relationship or was it a next step in the relationship etc.

Sorry this is a bit rambling but just curious, if anyone can make head or tail of what I mean :).

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TambaTheDragonSlayer · 28/02/2006 22:26

To be totally honest, I wanted a baby because I was selfish. I wanted to have it all. To move out of home, to get married, to have a baby. Also partly because the doc had told me I would need help concieving so I so desperatly started to want a baby, because id been told i couldnt. I never thought long term, I never thought of the commitment or of the restrictions it would place on my life (I was a very spoilt 18 year old)

When my ds arrived he was my entire world and still is. He is the reason I get up in the morning. His personality is so like mine, he makes me laugh and spending time with him is one of my favourite things to do. I love him more than I ever thought would be possible when I think back to my spoilt princess type self 4 years ago.

With DS2 it was a shock although not totally unexpected. I was breast feeding so didnt expect to get pregnant. There was never the amount of thought that went into having ds1, the testing and the waiting for fertile days, he was just meant to be. He is a wonderful little brother to ds1 and his personality is so like dh. Hes a daddys boy. I am so glad that I was careless as I wouldnt be without him now. He is charming and sweet tempered.

Although saying that I wont be having anymore! I have grown up enough to know that the world doesnt revolve around me and that I want to really get to know my boys and enjoy spending time with them.

Wow - sorry, im not even sure I amswered the question, I just started rambling sorry

notasheep · 28/02/2006 22:27

dd wasnt even planned-i had only known dp 3 months.
Now have ds too.

Tatties · 28/02/2006 22:32

I was broody because I wanted to have a baby with dp. Didn't want children until I met him, then I wanted a baby with him, rather than just a baby, iyswim.

expatinscotland · 28/02/2006 22:33

We were broody. Timing was right, so we went for it. We both wanted two kids, and not too far apart.

QE2 · 28/02/2006 22:35

First one, dh said he wasn't sure about having a child, but I wanted one so I chucked my pills down the loo. I figured once I was actually pregnant there wasn't anything he could do about it anyway! I was right. We agreed on the second but again it was something I initiated. The 3rd was an attempt to save our marriage but it didn't work.

With dh2 we both knew we wanted to be together, get married etc and have kids so we didn't do anything to prevent it. We just knew it would be alright if we did. And it was. Our 2nd was planned so our eldest would have a full sibling and not be like an only child as the next eldest was 7 years older.

So all of my kids have probably been conceived due to selfish reasons really. And partly to prove I could give them a far better childhood than I did.

mythumbelinas · 28/02/2006 22:37

Definitely broody for me, altho did want to have a long break from working/rat race/commuting.
dad also badgered me to get pregnant, so he could have more grandkids!!

WideWebWitch · 28/02/2006 22:40

1st time, accident, happy about it after initial shock, married him, now amicably divorced
2nd, new dp (now dh), he wanted one so I agreed, wasn't really broody but thought it would be ok and he deserved a child (he didn't have others, I had ds) and I'm so, so glad we had her, I'm mad about it. Both of them are the most wonderful things to have ever happened to me.

WideWebWitch · 28/02/2006 22:40

mad about her I meant, not it! Was distracted while posting.

pebblemum · 28/02/2006 23:56

DS1 was a surprise but never regretted it even when I became a single parent a year later.

When I met and married dh we both agreed we wanted a baby together but would wait for a year or so but 2months later we had a false alarm and it made us realise we didnt want to wait. Luckily I fell pregnant 2 months later with DS2.

I would never have a child for the sake of a relationship. It never works out. Both parents need to be 100% committed to having a baby otherwise someone ends up getting hurt, usually the child

Flossam · 01/03/2006 00:02

I was incredibly broody. Had been advised that after coming off depo TTC should take around a year, but took about 3 months! So I am never really sure if DS was planned or not. DP knew the score but still went nuts about it.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 01/03/2006 00:07

Broody broody broody

Dubliner · 01/03/2006 00:20

Before my firstborn, I wasn't broody...myself and DH just felt the time was right (-ish) for a baby...he concieved at first 'try'.

This time around I have been extreemely broody for a year, have been trying for 6 months, but no baba yet. So wish me luck please! ):)

AggiePanther · 01/03/2006 00:25

Neither ... my contraceptives had past their sell by date

AggiePanther · 01/03/2006 00:26

But ..very happy about it

hockeymum · 01/03/2006 08:44

With dd I was broody and had been for a couple of years but we waited till the time was right (had a big expensive holiday first, had accrued enough years service for maternity pay etc). Had such a bad time decided I never wanted another child.

Got a bit of freedom back, working part time, out partying with friends from work, dd was 3. Thought our marriage needed bringing together in the way it had when we had dd and wanted her to not be an only child. We were in a pub garden and she just found another child to play with and was SO happy. Dh and I sat there and said "she should have one sibling". I wanted a winter pregnancy so dh said "Wow, you promise you'll try to get pregnant this time next year?" (he'd been pressuring me for ages to have another baby) and I said "Oh it'll take a year anyway, lets start trying now" Found out I was expecting db two weeks later, must have got pregnant that night!! baby due in 8 weeks!! So two totally different reasons really.

Enid · 01/03/2006 08:46

I got pg first because we were on a boat in the middle of the red sea and ran out of condoms

Miaou · 01/03/2006 08:55

I got pg because dh and I decided together that the time was right for us both to start a family (he was ready before me but is 10 years older and his clock was ticking!) Now have three and made the decision together about each one. Would like one more but fairly soon as dh doesn't want to be "old" dad (he is 44).

I'm glad things worked out the way they did because we were both totally ready to be parents and tbh (whisper) actually found it easier and more rewarding than we expected it to be...

batters · 01/03/2006 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blackduck · 01/03/2006 09:09

Neither - wasn't planned or intended...

purplemonkeydishwasher · 01/03/2006 09:13

I got very broody after 28 years of adamantly saying i'd NEVER have kids. and it really pissed off my sis so that helped!!

Original poster

cranberryheights · 01/03/2006 09:22

All very heart-warming (I think - purple monkey :)). Good luck Dubliner. Hope it happens soon.

What surprised me after I got pregnant was how many people had been wondering about whether we would have a family but hadn't liked to ask. Family (in 3 continents) and friends all came out of the woodwork to comment and say how much they had been wondering. Clearly while Dh and I were just pottering along not thinking about it, everyone else had been feverishly whispering behind our backs !

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Original poster

cranberryheights · 01/03/2006 09:24

..but glad and lucky that I didn't want kids for the sake of them and so didn't really think about having them when I was single. Otherwise I'd have been giving off desperate vibes to everyone I met. Broodyness has only hit now after having the first :).

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 01/03/2006 09:47

I wanted to be a mum!

cathyspam · 01/03/2006 09:49

If I am totally honest I wanted DS1 because my mum died and I felt like I needed something else in my life but I was in a good relationship and had realistic expectations of the difficulties of motherhood and as such, I coped really well and cherish my son - DS2 came along because we were still on a high from DS1 and thought another one would be fun! It certainly has been fun having 2 in nappies!

eidsvold · 01/03/2006 09:52

thought I might be a mum one day - and that was as far as I got. Then met dh and we got married and thought being the 'older' folks that we were - thought we might start trying - dd1 born 38 weeks after we got married.... always wanted dd1 to have siblings - thought we would start trying again - being that bit older still..... and what do you know - first time again. Despite the tough times we have been through with dd1 - wouldn't swap it for the world.... NOW i am feeling broody funnily enough - never felt the strong urge to have a baby before... rather strange I know.

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