did you get pregnant because you were broody or for the sake of your relationship?

[cranberryheights]

Just curious about this. I haven't put it very well in the title but what I meant was: I was never particularly broody before or even in the early stages of marriage. Nor did I ever feel that I "should give dh a baby" or whatever. However, there came a point in the relationship where I wanted to take the marriage to greater heights and I wanted to have a child with dh rather than a child per se IYSWIM. So at least when trying to get pregnant I was mainly thinking about wanting to carry dh's child and wanting us to have a child to deepen our relationship. It was only after the birth that the whole focus fell on ds and I realised what a blessing it was to have a child (and to want more :)).

So, I'm just curious what motivated other people to try to get pregnant. Was it feeling broody,independently of the relationship or was it a next step in the relationship etc.

Sorry this is a bit rambling but just curious, if anyone can make head or tail of what I mean :).

cranberryheights, I think I might be a bit similar to your situation. I never wanted, or even liked children. In my previous marriage, I thought about having childred, only that was a routine of life. By the time bb became next thing to do, I suddenly realised children would trap me in the marriage. And that was the beginning of the end of our marriage.
I then spent a few years decided NEVER going to have children until met my fiance who brought up the bb idea. I believe he'd be a wonderful father and I want to have bb with him. A total shock to most of my friends. :) Now I am thinking of we should have another one even before this one is ready :) (29weeks today).
I guess for me, it is just matter of meet the right man.

Great thread Cranberry! And Tamba, I loved your story.

I'm 18 weeks now with our first. Me and DH are both 33 this year, been married for 6 years this summer. We've been together since we were 17, and we always knew we'd get married and have kids. We finally decided to come off the pill and get on with it in November 2003, just after a friend of mine in his 30s died very suddenly. Life just seemed too short to wait any longer for no real reason, so we started trying. It took two years, lots of investigations, acupuncture and a laparoscopy to sort out the endometriosis I didn't know I had, and we finally got the thin blue line in our shaky and disbelieving hands in November last year.

When we first started trying I hadn't really thought about why we wanted a baby - it was just the logical next step in our relationship and our lives. As conception became more elusive, though, and DH even mentioned adoption just before we got the good news, I realised just how much I wanted to have the experience of being pregnant, of carrying a baby that was part of both of us and was an expression of our love for each other (sorry if that sounds cheesy!). So I sort of became broody about half way through, and now, surrounded by friends with little ones, I cannot wait to meet our baby and to experience the joy and the challenges of bringing up our own little family. I am so ready to be a mummy, and DH is just itching to be a dad, although he admits he's really looking forward to having a little mate to play with rather than a baby.

Pinchy xx

I have never been broody; I didn't want children. I still don't - apart from dd, who is my world and who I wouldn't be without. My dh would probably have had children before but chose to stay with me knowing that I didn't want children - I never felt the urge to "give" him a baby. I would have been perfectly happy to remain childless but the Pill failed, and abortion wasn't the right answer for me.

lol @ kayzed - I've always favoured the shaglikemad technique myself :)

Yep, that's how I got pg, both times.

I was very broody for No1

DH bought up subject of no2 as wanted all kids born before we hit the wrinkly age of 30! (But there is a Downs family member on his side)

Neither ds was a total shock and surprise to use. The best one I've ever had in my life

Although I am amazed that I felt a really strange pang today when I held a small baby in my arms, and thought just for a moment...mmmmm. Then my ds had a temper tantrum (another one!) and it knocked any ideas I might have had out of the window!

first: because i lurrved his dad and we had everything else, house, car, jobs..we were settled and to get married..baby seemed a lovely idea.

second: because it was my birthday and i was drunk. (ahem, i mean by that, unplanned).

Neither...had a (embarassed cough) fling with a much younger guy. Thought I was giving in to high abandon and being all "liberated millennium woman," then found out I was pregnant a few weeks later.......oops

Am now very excited and glad though.

And the moral of the story?

You can only get away with wanton behaviour if you are a fictional character in a movie. It's padlocked knickers and early nights for me from now on...

Ah but Kath he's gonna be a good looking litte fella ain't he? :)

This is true, Ags. Daddy is a pretty boy...! Dim....but pretty.

I did it inspite of my relationship! we were tecchnically trying but dh wasn't hugely keen. Tough luck now!

very broody, both of us, both times.

Very much wanted a baby, but wanted to be married before we started trying. We fell pg 5 weeks after the wedding with Ds. Would love another and will probably start thinking about it towards the end of the year. Dh is one of 7 and comes from a very large family, but have explained that 2 will be my lot - i think. Ds is 10.5mths and i love him to bits.