Pregnant with no. 3 / 4 / 5...?!

[LimeLeafLizard]

Just wondering if anyone else is pg with their 3rd, 4th, 5th, or more?!

I am newly pg with baby number 4 and finding it a bit different this time.

Yesterday I flicked through a couple of magazines but the content didn't seem that relevant to me. I am quietly happy but not nearly as excited or nervous as I was before, especially the first time.

I know what kind of birth I want (same as the last two times) and I don't need to buy any stuff, so there doesn't seem so much to think about, at least until the scan.

I am also a bit worried about how other people are going to react when we tell them. There seems to be a general view that wanting 4 children must make us mad.

Hope I am not alone?!

Hetty, pregnancy makes moaners of us all, so go right ahead! Hopefully you don't have long to go...

I have a lovely friend who had several painful, stressful expensive rounds of IVF, and I always tried not to moan in front of her, knowing the trauma she was going through. Eventually she did conceive (now has a DD and a DS) and she was as good a moaner as anyone!

JDM, welcome! LOL at your reason for not wanting to give birth in the car being because of the rubbish! Your car sounds like mine! At least now you have an excuse to buy a nice new one - hope it stays clean until the birth!

Hi enjay welcome.

There was no mess at DD2's home birth, the mw brings loads of those pads they use in hospital that just absorb everything that plus some decorators sheets/pound shop shower curtains/tarpaulin type stuff spread about the room and it's very contained.

I wonder if his issue is really mess or more concern about how he would feel if anything 'went wrong' - that was my DH's worry when I said I wanted a hb. He's a real convert now, he felt more involved and much less useless and stressed than at DD1's hospital birth. Talking to the mw at our 36wk home-birth home-visit clinched it for him and he was fine after that.

Thanks to those who've shared their stories of DC3 births - some of them are a bit 'yikes!' I'm encouraged by the thing about labours getting quicker if the father is the same, since my DH is dad to all 3.

Have been trying to come up with pithy ways to stop 'friends' making the 'oh I bet you want a boy', 'poor dh if it's a girl he'll be so outnumbered' or 'poor dh if it's a girl he'll never get to do boy stuff' WTF?? I hate how people feel they can make these sorts of comments. We always wanted 3 and will be delighted with a girl or a boy but as I've said on another thread it makes me feel so defensive that I can never seem to come up with the perfect comeback during the conversation.

Baby jiggling about all over the place tonight, not comfy!Bump feeling big and taut. Don't want to wish this time away but hope baby isn't late like the other 2 were.

Thanks for all the welcomes ((waves)) sorry if I don't post names, I'm on my phone and can't scroll bk wen I'm replyin!

Sumone said bout feelin like they've done sumthin wrong - does feel like the norm is 2 and ppl think its an accident or ur mad if u have any more! I'm def excited bout dc3 and can't wait to have a newborn again but don't feel like I need to tell everyone this time round if tht makes sense

Thanks for the info on HB, will have to read up and get sum convincing evidence to pursuade Dh! Jst one query for those who have had a HB - what do u do with the kids? Pack em off with family? What if its the middle of the night?

Re baby stuff - my dd2 has only jst turned 3 so still have a pushchair, car seat and high chair in the attic so only clothes tht we need really as gave them all away. Maybe sterilizer depending how bf goes. U only realise after dc1 or 2 tht u really don't need all the crap u bought as new parents to be!

A few of u have mentioned work - I work full time atm, but not sure I'm going to be able to manage it with 3dc's. Can't afford to give it up all together but what are ur experiences?

Sorry for the epic post but lovely to talk to others in similar situation

Oh, shirley, had my booking in appt last Saturday so still waiting for a scan date. MW assured me it wld b done by 12wks tho! Have u got a date yet?

Welcome to the new people!

Who said about not feeling the need to tell people this tume?im like that.

MoonHare How about 'oh fuck off with that old chestnut, a healthy baby is all I want'! I've found extreme rudeness stops them in their tracks . I don't know if it was on here, but I was telling the story about how when your bump starts to grow everyone thinks it's OK to stare at it. One woman in the playground did this to me, came over and said something about 'oh aren't you big for x amount of weeks', I looked at her belly and asked if she was back at Slimming World lol. Needless to say she hasn't even looked at me since and actively avoids me . Jobs a gooden!

And it only needs saying once.

Lol, love it shellybobs :D I'm already swollen at 10 weeks but of course don't look pregnant, no one has been rude enough to comment yet but I'll have to think up some come back I think :)

Enjay, my scan date is 4th oct :) waiting patiently :)))

Thanks ShellyBobbs that gave me a laugh, just imagining my friend's face if I said that to her - it is mostly one person tbh, what's wearing is the fact that she says something along the lines of the above or 'I suppose at least you have all the clothes if it's a girl' EVERY time I see her.

Re children and home birth. This time if it's the middle of the night we plan to just leave them sleeping upstairs (I'm confident after last time that I wouldn't wake them with any loud noises!). Though this decision is helped by the fact that we will also have either mil or my parents with us to get up to the girls if they do wake. We live hundreds of miles from both sides of the family, which is why they'll be staying over in the house. If they were near by I would ask if we could ring them in the night to come over and wait upstairs.

To my mind the way to think of it is that with home birth you have more options about where the other DCs will be while you give birth. If you were having a hospital birth you would still have to make plans for them - ask yourself what those plans would be if it was the middle of the night? You could make exactly the same plans for home birth or decide to let them stay sleeping. Last time my parents were here and because I felt I would be inhibited by them being in the house we arranged that if baby arrived at night they would take DD1 over to a friends house and all stay over. Active labour started about 7.30 in the evening so my mum and dad took DD1 over to my friend's. She went quite happily with grandma and grandad for an adventure and returned the following morning to meet DD2.

Overall it's just lovely for the older ones to meet baby in their own home rather than having to visit you in hospital. DD1s words on meeting DD2 the morning after she was born were "I'm so proud of my baby sister".

You'll always have to have a contingency plan for the children anyway, just in case you end up transferring in to hospital anyway.

This is an interesting article on the risks associated with hospital and home birth. www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/myth-safer-hospital-birth-low-risk-pregnancies

I desperately wanted a homebirth this time but for safety reasons (both mine and the babys) it just isn't practical at all because I'm likely to need almost constant monitoring :(

Definitely get your DH to read up on it if he's unsure - planned homebirths statistically result in less interventions and complications than hospital births, and you get MWs with you the whole time rather than popping in and out and seeing other women at the same time, so in the unlikely event of anything going wrong it's likely to be picked up quicker should you need transferring. It would definitely be our preferred option for birth if it were possible.

I still keep contracting and still have no other signs of baby's arrival being imminent. It's so frustrating. My daughter was born at 38+4, I'm 38+3 and really should stop getting my hopes up that this one will be the same! I just know I'm still going to be here in 2 weeks time.

Am exhausted this week. Feels too extreme to be just pregnancy but iron is ok. Any suffestions?

Ood sorry to hear you're so exhausted. When was your iron last tested? How is the weaning going... maybe if your sleep is still disturbed that is making things worse? Could you raise it with your MW?

I am pretty knackered atm too, struggling not to fall asleep by 9pm each evening, which by the time the kids are in bed and chores finished leaves me no time to myself (I'm doing ok tonight because I managed to sneak in a cheeky nap this morning!).

Shelly I admire you being brave enough to be rude... one time last pg when someone laughingly made a point of telling me how huge I was, I burst into tears. To be fair she also avoided me afterwards, but I wish I hadn't been such a wimp about it.

Luckily I'm not too huge yet this pg (19 weeks) and the only comments I've had are that the bump isn't very big. Which is fine for now as lets face it I will be big soon enough.

I am really looking forward to my scan next week.

Truth haven't heard from you for a couple of days, hope you're ok...

Odd I feel for you with the tiredness I am also struggling this week.

I have had lots of people say to me "your not very big are you"
one lady said to me at the start of this week " oh I did not know you were even pregnant. This resulted in me going home to dh crying saying to him that I must always look this fat.

To be fair I know I am not that big which suits me fine but it seems like you can not win you are either to big or not big enough.

Thanks moon and hetty u've made some very good points bout a HB tht wld prob address a few of Dh's worries. Will have a read of the article

Hope ur feelin ok hetty and those contractions start moving things along soon!

Lol at shelley I wld never have the guts to be rude to anyone but can imagine the look on the persons face if I did say something like tht! Ha

I 'outted' myself to a few ppl in work today. We're all goin to a colleagues fancy dress wedding party on Saturday and I usually have hollow legs when it comes to drinking n jst cldnt think of a good enough excuse why I am driving. Wen someone said 'its not cos ur pregnant is it?' Jst said yes! They all seemed to have suspicions anyway! And already got the 'are you hoping for a boy' question!

Honestly I seem to attract the most insensitive comments, a school mum called me a "beached whale" this week, Then a random old woman, who was initially being nice, said I looked "about 15 years old" when I told her I was expecting DC number 3. I told her through gritted teeth that I am 31!

I'm so tired too, I've been being really ratty with the DCs in the evenings for the last few days.

truth hope you're doing ok?

lime was tested when I was 9 weeks and am 14+4 now. Have had a bit of a head full of work stuff this week. Dd3 is doing ok, she's been waking 4ish but persuading her not to feed mainly. Am going to bed 8:30-9ish and getting up 7:30-8 (leave for work at 8!).

seymor at beached whale

seymor NO WAY! Cheeky bitch!

beached whale! Its like you become public property when you are pregnant. Random bump touching and inappropriate comments and then we are supposed to just smile serenely. Bugger that!

I have been much less grumpy with the kids since then have been back at school but that has coincided with being off work too. Definitely more bad tempered this time round.

38+5 and still no sign of baby yet. I'm a big emotional mess this morning for no reason whatsoever. I literally keep bursting into tears over nothing - had an argument with a 5 year old over the wrong pair of trousers and cried, had an argument with him over toast, I cried. I'm now sat on the sofa with perpetually leaking eyes for no reason at all. I'm not even upset about anything apart from the mountain of washing up in the kitchen I appear somewhat unhinged

I think someone calling me a beached whale would have prompted a rather rude response. Can't believe how bloody rude some people are Some sales person from e-on kept pestering me in town the other day, I snapped at him and said I'd rather rub pairs of nylon knickers together than receive my energy from them I know he's only doing his job but really, I only wanted to buy some washing powder and go home!

Excellent response hetty

Oh, I would so love another baby! Ttc number four right now and feeling preggo. Might be wishful thinking as I only came off the pill two weeks ago. Big families rock!

Hetty Sorry to hear you are feeling tearful on the upside you don't have long to go now until you meet your new baby. ( I know it feels like forever though)

Seymor beached whale some people are so rude.

Feeling very heavy today.

I know! She saw my mouth fall open and tried to backtrack with something along the lines of "I only said it because of the way you are walking"!! I must admit I am really lumbering around now, I seem to get Braxton Hicks all the time when I'm walking.

hetty I hope you're feeling a bit better today? I have days like that too.

Just wondering, how often do you all do pelvic floor exercises? The last 2 times I only did them after the birth, but I'm thinking this time I should start before hand? Maybe I've left it too late at 29 weeks?

My mum's cousin will give birth to her latest baby any time now. It will be her 16th. She has been in documentaries.

Just to make you all feel better