Pregnant with no. 3 / 4 / 5...?!

[LimeLeafLizard]

Just wondering if anyone else is pg with their 3rd, 4th, 5th, or more?!

I am newly pg with baby number 4 and finding it a bit different this time.

Yesterday I flicked through a couple of magazines but the content didn't seem that relevant to me. I am quietly happy but not nearly as excited or nervous as I was before, especially the first time.

I know what kind of birth I want (same as the last two times) and I don't need to buy any stuff, so there doesn't seem so much to think about, at least until the scan.

I am also a bit worried about how other people are going to react when we tell them. There seems to be a general view that wanting 4 children must make us mad.

Hope I am not alone?!

X-post Thirsty. So sorry to hear about your mcs - I hope you're ok. It's weird how people get so hung up on the gender, and assume you can only want more to get a different gender. And the comments and surprised looks or rudeness is really getting to me this time. I'm on 4th and I think it will be a good no! I'm 38, so like you a bit surprised.

craving I had a belt last time but it did nothing for me.

Hello Thirsty, good to have your company . So sorry for your mc. Are you thinking about TTC again soon then?

Craving I don't think Cappuccino Mum meant to be rude (she is normally a very friendly person) but she must have realised that she was a bit OTT as she actually came up to me and apologised the next day, which I appreciated.

People do seem to assume that I am only having another to 'get a girl'. We always wanted 4 children (if all went well, and we were lucky, which we have been). I have a couple of friends who have chosen to stick with one child and they get fed up with similarly insensitive comments about why they should have more.

My next scan is on 27 Sept... I'm really looking forward to it - just hope all is still ok.

Yes, 4kids how early were the others? (I have been way overdue twice so any dreams of going into labour naturally at 39 weeks are far-fetched!)

Lime Ah that's good that Cap Mum apologised - I have had such negativity this time round that I immediately see red when I hear any kind of comments. I guess that having 2 children (not 1 or any more than 2) is so ingrained in our culture that it does surprise people. Good luck with your scan on 27th, and hope all is well.

Ood sorry to hear the belt didn't help - I'm finding it holds me together. Crutches are the biggest help, but difficult to use them when out and about with 3 young ones.

Well you're 8 weeks ahead of me, aren't you? After another 8 weeks of comments I may also be seeing red!

Hello everyone

Hi Moon and Thirsty

Glad to see this thread is back. I am 27 weeks now and finding this by far the most difficult pregnancy I have had.

Not really had any bad comments just the normal "are you mad" followed by a strange look.

Lime It's been a while since I posted but yes I also recognise your name from the ttc boards. I have also gone way overdue (2 weeks) with all 3dc and think I would go into shock at been on time.

TTC? yeee--eeesss.
I mean I think so.
Oh hell! Basically still haven't decided if 4 is a good idea, so doing an ostrich and burying head in the sand while we carry on 'not trying, but not not trying...'

Hi, can I join please?

I'm 27 weeks with DC3 and I've been finding it a lot different this time. I've been feeling a bit guilty about not being full of excitement all the time. I'm also really worried about the birth, much more so than before. My DCs (6.5 and 4) are very excited though.

I've had lots of "you're brave" comments but I think I'm just sticking my head in the sand a bit. I feel like I don't get a second to myself with 2, not sure how things will go with 3!

I haven't found many people have made comments at all this time around (no.5!)
I think they obviously all think I'm crazy and have given up telling me...

With my other DC's the latest was 39 weeks, then have had 2 inductions at 38 weeks, and 1 who came naturally at 37 weeks. So all technically past the magic '37 weeks' but none that have made their due date! I'm not sure at the moment if this will be another 38 weeks induction. Not seeing the consultant again until 36 weeks, so I guess I will find out more then. At the moment I would probably kiss him if he told me I will definately have the baby by 38 weeks!

Welcome Seymore

Thirsty 4 is a great number! We were meant to be stopping at 4 - but had a little surprise just before DH went for his snip!

Thirsty I haven't decided if 4 is a good idea either... I'm not even sure if I'm ready to be a grown up yet!

4kids that is all good then - real hope you might not have to wait to term but hopefully not too much worry about baby being before 37 weeks. that they have all given up telling you you're crazy!

Seymore welcome! Your age gaps are good then, the kids will be able to get involved and get excited. I'm not surprised you're worried about the birth though - I think being aware of what you have to go through is a good reason to be a bit worried! How did your previous births go?

Hello again cherry - 27 weeks already! Sorry to hear you're finding this time hard - is it anything in particular? I am doing well so far this time - but I am only 18 weeks so plenty of time for it to get harder.

4Kids I know exactly how you are feeling. I'm bloody knackered, have got a water infection, the antibiotics are giving me the runs and I'm signed off work with migranes! I'm 31 weeks and wish I could fast forward to 37 weeks where I know I'm more into days than weeks (3rd baby arrived at 39 weeks). Oh and the breathlessness has just upped it's game to the point where walking on any incline is almost impossible and with it being the 4th, the head might not go down until I'm actually in labour so that isn't going to get better.

How's that for a moan

Apart from that, I'm really looking forward to it now and so are the kids. Hubby is like a little school boy waiting for Christmas, I can't believe how excited he is :)

Hi there

Can I join? I am 15 weeks with dc4. I have 3 ds's aged 6, 3 + 21 months. Finally feeling better after terrible sickness for the first 14 weeks which was a shock.

I am really excited about a 4th baby but have really delayed telling people this time. I already get loads of comments from people when I am out with my 3 about how close in age they are etc.. so actually dreading what comments I will get this time! People can be so rude can't they? I also always get comments about wanting a girl & so imagine people will just think I am having another for a girl. This isn't true at all and in fact we had a private scan and they said this looks like another boy. We couldn't be happier!

Hope everyone is well?

I'm 29 weeks with DC3 - measuring four weeks ahead (did anyone else get this?) and constantly dealing with looks of when I tell them I'm due on 1st December as apparently a very big bump. I'm being sent back for another scan to find out why.

My labour 2nd time round was much "better" than first time - can I expect it to be faster 3rd time? [hopeful]

Agiraffeonthedivingboard My third labour was mega quick. In fact we only made it to the labour room 5 minutes before he was born! 1st labour was 16 hours, 2nd labour was 5 hours and 3rd - 40 mins from 1st twinge! Planning a home birth this time. I hope all goes well at your growth scan. Were your previous babies big?

Oh thank you pink ! I went overdue with both of mine - first labour about 3 days - second labour 3cms to baby was about 2 hours. First one was 7.13 and second was 8.13. but scans not showing up a big baby maybe I should haven toned up a bit before DC3

Worried about not getting to hospital on time but DH too nervy for a homebirth...

With two girls already I really identify with those semi-rude comments from people along the lines of 'ooh wouldn't it be great if you had a boy!' I'm really tired of the assumptions of both strangers and friends that we must be longing for a boy, especially those who say inane things like 'oh poor dh if he ends up in a house full of women' or 'oh if it's another girl think of the hormones when they get to be teenagers'.

We don't know the baby's sex and didn't find out the last two times either. I'd be lying if I said I had no preference - tbh I just can't imagine my body producing a boy after the girls, I'll be in shock for a week if it's a boy and I really like the idea of a gang of girls - but I won't feel disappointed by a boy. In some ways I think the assumptions of others have made me feel I'd like this baby to be a girl, I feel kind of defensive for my two girls that others think they're not good enough and that everyone should prefer a mix of genders.

Pink I'm planning a home birth too. DD2 was a planned home birth and the whole thing was a really lovely relaxed, calm experience. Hoping for the same again. She wasn't super quick - about 5.5 hours from proper contractions starting. But my labour felt so different from the first time that I never reached that point where I would have thought 'time to go to hospital now' so it was just as well we'd planned a home birth otherwise DH would have had to catch the baby. Having had such a positive home birth experience last time we never gave hospital a thought. Here's hoping all goes to plan for a lovely straightforward home birth for you too pink and another one for me!

Agiraffeonthedivingboard My first labour was 6 hours, 2nd was 4 hours and the last one was 55 mins from start to finish. My midwife actually suggested that a home-birth would be the best option for me because if it's the same father, then labour is almost guaranteed to be even quicker and with 3 others to think of there would be no chance of me getting to the hospital on time.

My hubby was the same about the home-birth, but I told him that if not then he ran the risk of having to deliver it in a lay-by. We went to a home-birth meeting organised by the hospital which made him feel much better after speaking to a few parents who had already been through it.

Ah bless. I was reading some of the threads before where first time mums were asking for suggestions on how to start labour off. I didn't have the heart to say that there is nothing at all that they can do and the baby will come when it's ready :)

Good to see this thread going again. I don't post much but read everything! I'm now 25 weeks, not had many comments, but those I have had have been really positive which is great.

I had a home birth with my last one. I had had little niggles on and off all day, my waters went and Ds 3 appeared 20 mins later! I have had a bit of a gap with this one, so not really sure what to expect. I would love another HB.

Great to see so many homebirths planned - my last two were at home and it was lovely. Not sure I'll get another this time though - my last baby was big (10.02) and so they are monitoring me and might induce before term. Then again, not going overdue would be a nice change too.

I'm very jealous too of all those of you with shortish labours (20 mins must be a bit alarming though!). My labours have been 44 hours, 18 hours and 11 hours (from 3cm).

Moon I know what you mean about the gender thing - after 3 boys I'd quite like a girl (I always imagined I'd have a girl somewhere in my 4!) but when people assume I am only having another for that reason it gets me all defensive and I start saying I really want another boy! Mostly because I love my boys so much and I'd hate them to hear negative comments.

Pink I was initially told 'girl' at the last two 12 week scans - both were clearly boys by 20 weeks so you never know it may change for you too!

There's a real push in our area for home births & they keep trying to talk me into one. I like the thought of it, and reading your positive HB stories inspires me, but I would hate having to be transferred to hospital if something went wrong. Also we live in a terrace and I make A LOT of noise in labour . My labours are also really quick though, and DH commutes to work so am worried I wouldn't get to hospital in time, or will end up giving birth on my own surrounded by traumatised children !

Thirsty good luck with ttc. We were the same - didn't think we should have a 4th, weren't trying but weren't not trying either. Of course our BFP happened easily, and now feels like it was meant to be.

Annelid I'm also 25 weeks due 23rd Dec, but I'm usually early. When are you due?

Giraffe hope all is well with you - not sure how accurate the measuring always is, but good you're getting a scan to check.
Shelley sorry to hear things are hard for you too, and hope the remaining weeks go quickly for you.

People make such silly assumptions about everyone somehow wanting kids of each sex, even though most people just want a healthy baby. We have 2DDs and 1DS and we still get comments that we'll want another DS to even things out. Though it must be really annoying for those of you who are supposedly just having another one to try for a boy or girl.

Thank you everyone.

I'm so glad I found this thread I'm on my third pregnancy and people seem to think I'm just fine and have no questions but I do and panicking a bit and need your superior knowledge & experience!

I've not had the stupid comments on 'are you trying for a boy?' yet so doing well I think!

Non MNetty ((( shelly )))

Cravingtomatoes I'm due the 20th, and am usually about 8 days late - but you never know! (Hence I am already getting ready for Christmas)

I have also had the "oh would you like another girl to even things out"

Shelley sorry to hear you are not feeling great hope the weeks go a bit faster for you.

Annelid I have been trying to get some things ready for christmas. Due 10th but have always gone 2 weeks over.

Lime I seem to be struggling with everything this time round my back hurts so much that I find I keep needing to sit down which does not help, can not remember it hurting this much before. Heartburn, sickness, blah blah moan moan. I know it will be worth it all in the end when they give me my little girl.