Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

[10000fireflies]

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on.

Arh bollocks VQ that doesn't sound like any fun at all.

Eagle Hows things with you? Hope you being kind to yourself.

Bytheseaside obviously I am an old bird and I haven't been offered a GTT. Not that I want one - they sound vile. So not sure if they are for all old birds or just old birds who have sugar in their urine (or I am not that far along).

LRM I am knackered. All the time. In fact I am going to go to bed now. God knows how you work on your feet all day. I don't know how you do it.

Waves at everyone else and buggers off to bed.

Well day off with dh. Lunch out which was v nice and afternoon nap. Full on weekend now keeping the kids busy. Less than a week to go to c section.

Vq - sorry to hear about ankle.i did that last pregnancy and laid up for a week. Darn relaxin. Makes you pull everything so easily.

Eagle - sorry to hear about your dad. Stress of nuchal not great either but the odds are well in your favour. I was 1/20 and all was ok (41 years). I had amnio which did not hurt but obviously more waiting around as is done after 15 weeks.

Gtt test major yak this time - at least they gave me lucozade last time but this time just sugar and water. Felt well queasy after but that was a number of weeks ago now. Still had to b done to chk all healthy.

Now for nice warm bath. Hope all are enjoying their pgs. I was but well ready to meet nom3.

Feeling a bit less than alert after another birthday round at the in-laws but had a few things I wanted to reply to.

ValiumQueen - I can empathise with your DH. I think I was shocked and initially a bit overwhelmed at the idea I was carrying a girl as I have a shocking relationship with my own mother and was super close to my dad so I think I somehow convinced myself that a girl would end up loving my DP and not getting along with me. I have since convinced myself that this was my mother's problem. She was an incredibly dyfunctional individual when she was parenting me and I can, and will do better and have a great, close relationship with my daughter because I know how. It is scary when you don't have any positive same sex role models from your childhood but I found it helpful to think of all the ones I have come across since I've been an adult. This may be exactly the healing experience he needs and I'm sure he will rise to the challenge perfectly :). Also agree with bytheseaside - I think to know bad parenting and how it affected you is to know how to never be that to your own child and to know acutely what a child does need. I think he's going to be fine :). Also sorry to hear about your ankle. I did one years ago and it's super-swelling now I'm pregnant but I know how painful they can be and it's the last thing you need!

LRM - good to see you - did you check out the site tellmeagoodbirthstory.com/ ?

eagleray - very sorry to hear at how much has suddenly piled on your plate. Agree with Midget about ways to look at the risk. I felt so lucky to have been given a combined risk of 1:1120 until someone pointed out that that still means there will be 1 unlucky person given that low risk who will still have a Downs baby. It's very easy to feel alone at very stressful times. I felt like that when losing my own dad, despite having the most loving and supportive partner ever. No-one can go through it for you. Do take care of yourself and make sure you talk to people about how you feel. I wished I had been able to tell my dad he would have been a grandpa (I'm an only child) but I whispered in his ear as he was dying that I was going to have a baby with my partner. Who knows if he took it in but it's always worth to try (my dad had had multiple strokes and was also not in a great mental state). Cry as much as you need. Glad you didn't go into work and gave yourself some time to process it all xx.

exexe - glad you're feeling a little more reassured. My LO's kicks and punches are also sometimes uncomfortable but I sure miss them when she moves and I can't feel her :).

re GTT - I was expecting to have one, being 41 and over 30 BMI but was told that here in Norway I'll only get one if they 'see something' in my urine. Hmmm....I could beg? All I know is my LO goes bonkers with kicking every time I have something sweet to eat or drink. I just started talking about cake today and she started! :) LOL

Fjordmor, 41, living in Norway, first pregnancy, expecting a sweet-toothed female ninja... (due early-mid October depending on who you believe ;)).

Hello can I join?

I'm 40 and got a BFP a week last Tuesday, but having had 3 chem pgs and 1 m/c, I've been very tentative about it all. I have a nearly 3 year old DD. According to my dates I'm 4 weeks and 5 days so still incredibly early days. Apart from sore boobs and twinges ahem 'down there' I feel normal, which is adding to my anxiety. That said had terrible MS with DD so would be happy not to have it like tht again!

Anyway, hello all!

PS sorry this will post twice as I'm on a blackberry and apparently there's some glitch with blackberries and mn, I've reported it to the techie person at MNHQ.

Hello can I join?

I'm 40 and got a BFP a week last Tuesday, but having had 3 chem pgs and 1 m/c, I've been very tentative about it all. I have a nearly 3 year old DD. According to my dates I'm 4 weeks and 5 days so still incredibly early days. Apart from sore boobs and twinges ahem 'down there' I feel normal, which is adding to my anxiety. That said had terrible MS with DD so would be happy not to have it like tht again!

Anyway, hello all!

PS sorry this will post twice as I'm on a blackberry and apparently there's some glitch with blackberries and mn, I've reported it to the techie person at MNHQ.

Welcomeknicky hope you get to stay with us for the duration x

Thank you fjord for sharing your personal story. That so makes sense, and I found it very reassuring x

Ankle improving slowly, but DD2 now has chickenpox! Hoping it will just be a mild case. So far she has a few spots, bit scratchy, slight temp, tad grumpy, but still playing mostly. Actually she is no more grumpy than always.

My blackberry seems ok, but I do not use the mobile app, so perhaps that is something to do with it. Wish I had an iPhone.

Hi Knicky. Congratulations. wishing you well for this pregnancy.

Fjord My baby goes crazy too after sugary stuff and I haven't really been having much sugar this pregnancy. Had tonnes with the boys.

VQ Ouch! Poor you but thank goodness bump ok. Lots of rest then for you. Will be hard with ill dcs though. Iphones are lovely.

I have got a busy weekend. Farnborough tomorrow and Sunday I have to choose kitchen and have family over.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Hello everyone

Thank you for your kind messages of support - I am definitely in a better place than I was a few days ago!

The news on my dad has gone from diabolical to just bad - apparently, when he went into hospital, they did a CT scan and found 'something' on his stomach and a shadow on his liver. With that information, they did a grave talk with my stepmother about the likely outcome (ie cancers in that area).

They have since done an endoscopy, expecting to get a clearer diagnosis but didn't find much, apart from a deformed pylorus (Dr Google told me this is the bit of your stomach which connects with the bowel) so they are now uncertain what the diagnosis is, but the dire news has been temporarily retracted. They are doing a colonoscopy next week and think the cause of his problems may lie there (think they may be guessing that something is pressing on the pylorus from the bowel side).

My brother is up there at the moment (hence the clearer information) and says he is dressed and coherent but weak and in pain. Everything is still uncertain but obviously it is not quite as bad as originally reported! I will go up there at some point soon (once the cvs stuff is well out of the way)

I now have a hospital appointment first thing on Monday - the plan is to go in and speak to the consultant, discuss the results, probably scan again and then only go ahead with the cvs if I feel comfortable with it. They assured me I don't have to go through with it if I change my mind, which is very reassuring. I am still split 50/50 between having it or not - it would be nice to draw a line under the whole thing after being given the 'high risk' label, but I do appreciate the odds are not bad, esp when weighed up against the invasive testing risks. I told DP he has to stay with me on Monday but he still went ahead and booked a meeting at work that he now has to try and undo, because he hadn't really taken it in that he would have to look after me - I could scream at times at his muppety behaviour!

Tazmo - your 1/20 odds must have been so incredibly stressful to deal with. Am so glad everything was ok.

ValiumQueen - v sorry to hear about your ankle - hope it gets better soon :-( Also hope your DD is over her chickenpox soon

Fjord - that's very sad about your dad. It sounds like my dad will have the opportunity to hear my news now and it would have been awful if he didn't ever know

Knickyknocks - welcome and congratulations. I really sympathise with your anxiety after your sad losses. I found the first trimester torturous in the early days in terms of worry and wondering what was going to happen, but gradually the days turned into weeks

Hope you all have a nice, restful weekend

Hi eagle - glad news a bit better. Yes ask for rescan and see if any 'soft' markers. Will help u decide if you want cvs or not.

Not much from me - knackered and think I am getting a cough! Just my luck!!

Hi eagle, glad things are a bit clearer, and a bit more hopeful with your dad. Glad you are beginning to get your head around the risks and testing. I opted for no tests, and am beginning to wonder if I should have, but at 24 weeks, I am hoping anything major would have already shown up.

Ankle improving slowly but still very painful, and black with bruising right down to the toes.

DD2 has more spots today, but is coping very well really. She slept last night thankfully. I am using ViralSoothe which costs over £8 but worth every penny IMO. Stops itch, promotes healing, eases soreness, and helps prevent scarring. And so easy to apply!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

eagle great news well bad is better than diabolical anymore news on your tests?

VQ doesn't sound like you will be managing to take it easy. Hope DD is on the mend now.

Not much to report apart from work
Sucks. Getting shafted for a promotion and trying not to let it stress me but the unfairness of it all is getting to me. Must not allow myself to be sucked in, it's not good for the baby. I would have fight in me normally and controlling it is hard work! Tiredness in the day is crippling but then cant sleep at night. Just want to Finish work and watch daytime TV!

How are the rest of you doing? Still total purchases zero... Must try harder.

Day 4 here, and still more spots coming. The magic cream is not so magic now, but helps take the edge off I am sure.

No purchases yet? Come on now! How about a little gro? Just to start.

Sorry about the promotion. Your turn will come. I have been shafted many a time, and not in a good way, and it is not nice.

Is DD2 poorly with it still? I escaped fairly easily with DD - she was spotty and moody but not really ill. I know some can be quite poorly though.

You are right - shafted and not in a good way is a good description but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. or some such tripe like that

Oh and I did buy a couple of bits but DH hated them all so going back - will buy something by the end of the week - it is a personal goal.

How could he hate baby stuff? What on earth did you buy?
DD2 still ill, but hopefully will start improving soon. Bit worried about my ankle though - mobilised a bit today and now have shooting pains even with it up on the sofa. Perhaps I have broken it. That really would piss me off.

GTT was most foul...hot sugary water to drink, feeling very nauseous after drinking it and nightmare getting blood out of me but the results came back fine. For some reason apparent to only my consultant it would seem I've to go back in 3 weeks to get it done again...I guess being 'elderly prim' means I get stuff chucked at me right left and centre. Actually now that I think about it my urine sample before last was ++glucose so maybe they were expecting to see something?

Eagle Glad the news about your dad is slightly less drastic and hope today went ok

Valium I was chuckling at your 'old birds and fat birds etc' comment - I am indeed old and fat

Survived the hospital appointment today - journey there was hellish as we got delayed in rush hour traffic (despite allowing loads of extra time) and DP and I ended up nearly having a bit of a barney in the car over Whose Fault It Was - not a very good start.

The consultant took a look at the baby and it has grown quite a bit in 12 days (12mm longer now) - clearly that is what they are supposed to do, but was quite surprised by how much bigger it was since last scan. She examined the major organs and everything has been reported as normal, with 'nothing obvious' being found.

The slight spanner in the works was the placenta - it is 'posterior low' which she said would make it harder to do a cvs (as the baby comes between the needle and the placenta I guess) and her recommendation (based on the odds and how we feel about it all) was to not test today but provisionally book an amnio for early Aug, which is what we have done (she said an amnio would be less risky than cvs).

I went straight to work afterwards and decided to practice being a little bit more confident and optimistic about things and tell a few colleagues about the pregnancy (a few people know, but only those I thought needed to know at the time). One man hugged me and told me about the terrible time he and his wife had conceiving (failed ivf and then spontaneous pregnancy), which was really sweet. Slightly oddly, I feel less inclined to share the news with close family - I think it comes down to pressure/questioning and also wanting to protect people like my mum from worry until things are a bit more certain.

So everything still up in the air a little bit, but feeling calmer and little more confident. Also hope to visit my dad in the next couple of weeks (he is v weak but stable and will hopefully get a clearer diagnosis this week).

Midget - sorry to hear about your rubbish work situation

Valium - your ankle sounds worrying - can you get it checked out?

Tazmo - how is your cough now?

Shiny - glad your results have come back ok. I guess I have all this to come as have committed the mortal sin of getting up the duff with a slightly high BMI and diabetes tests were mentioned...

The shopping talk reminded me of something I saw a while ago on Ebay -
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Antique-solid-oak-rocking-crib-/270996216457#ht_803wt_844

It just made me laugh as it is like something out of Blackadder surely? I think it reminds me of a confession box or something, but maybe someone out there would consider putting a baby in it...

I hope to have my foot checked today as DD2 is feeling better and my foot hurts more.

Hot sugar drink? Yuk! Mine was warm and full if sediment. With my first they gave you lucozade. I remember asking for more.

All this talk of yukky sugary drinks is really making me feel sick!

VQ poor you with your foot - can you walk / drive?

eagleray I'm glad things seem to be a bit calmer for you. I don't know whether this is useful, but when I was worrying about nuchal tests ladies on here suggested the fetal medicine centre in London, where the testing is particularly accurate - so its popular with women in their 40s who want to avoid cvs / amnio. I don't know if you are still in the time scale for nuchal testing, or if you'd want to pay (I think it was £180 for scan and blood tests, results while you are there), and I don't know exactly how much more accurate they are than a normal NHS scan.

Midgetm I've still bought absolutely nothing, but I'm beginning to think about it at least. Prams/pushchairs/cribs still make my head spin, but I think I can manage some babygros!

The baby is kicking all the time, I've honestly never felt anything quite so amazing :) She clearly really likes pudding.

Have not even been able to walk to the car. No way I could drive. I have had to keep DD2 off Nursery ( not pre - school, private) as cannot get her there and back. She has chickenpox anyway. Pottering around the house with the aid of a stick and furniture or walls. It should be feeling better by now, but is actually hurting more, and in a different way. Off to GP soon. With stick.

GP thought fracture in two places, so off to hospital. Radiographer agreed but puzzled when no fracture on films. Will be rechecked by dr and they will call me if anything found. Clearly I am a fraudster, but at least it stops my mum from nagging.

Hi cough muh the same but no temp. Guess they will give me a general fitness check to chk can go ahead with c section on thurs (have an appt to o over stuff tomorrow, order drugs, informed consent etc).

Eagle - amnio was fine - only bug is gabbing to wait till 15 weeks! Sorry, iPad keeps misspelling everything.

Bit of a pain not bring able to walk! Hope it gets better soon. Well it muchfrom me except can hear beeper going re kids dinner time!

T

Ooh exciting tazmo all the best for Thursday!

OMG Valium, a fracture?!? Your injury reminded me of when DP had an undiagnosed leg/ankle fracture a few years ago after an accident abroad. Didn't see the point in scaring you with a potentially irrelevant story so didn't mention it :-( I hope you get everything clarified soon

Seaside - thanks for the info re the centre in London. I think this was mentioned by someone else too, and I did take a look at what they do and also discussed this with the consultant on Monday (without trying to sound like someone who spends their entire time googling medical stuff). I am still dithering a bit, but the amnio seems the best option now, especially as the doc said it looked like it would be very straightforward.

Tazmo - good luck with section (gosh is that day after tomorrow??)

Haagen Dazs half price at Morrisons tonight - guess what I had for dinner