Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

[10000fireflies]

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on.

VQ, tell DH he will have a great time with his son, pretending to fight with pillows, to be dinosaurs, racing one against the other... My DH and DS1 love the quality time they have together. And now than I am in Paris and DH comes over for the weekend, I can see my son's face lighting up when he sees his Dad coming out of the station...
Your DH will be absolutely fine.

Eagleray, glad your scan was good

Good night everyone

Fjord, actually I kicked myself this afternoon and have sorted baby's clothing, 0-3 months white clothes and cotbed linen are now drying in the basement, tomorrow I will wash 0-3 months coloured clothes. Hopefully it will dry quickly as Paris is as wet as London atm. How is the weather where you are ?

I have a clinic visit only on 16 July and will then be given the list of things I need to bring in for baby and me for the 5 days I will stay with them after delivery. So I am taking it easy. Very near future will tell if I was right or not :)
My last appointment with the obstetrician was good and he does not expect me to go into labour early.

I feel confident and have been talking to baby to make sure she understands we/she need to wait for another 2 weeks when my DH can start his temporary work transfer in Paris... I will then be 39 weeks... So close !

Hope your London flat will sell quickly. Keep my fingers crossed for you.

Aw thanks Hpbp. Glad to hear you've had a wave of activity but not getting too stressed about it. Stavanger actually has been glorious; 27 day before yesterday, 24 day before that and 22 with no cloud today but was raining & humid yesterday. We are I am melting in our basement and I am perched in front of the floor standing fan at all times! It's impossible if we use the cooker or dishwasher!

Fingers crossed about the flat but it's been slow starting as its near Wimbledon Tennis & agents have a problem persuading people in & out of the area who aren't tennis tourists. Hopefully things will pick up now.

Will catch up properly later, but just wanted to say to Valium, firstly congratulations! And that my DP had a similar wobble when we found out with DS - DP has no relationship with his own dad due to a very violent upbringing (all the kids and my MIL were regularly hit/punched etc.) and he became convinced he was going to be like his dad. The reality couldn't be further from the truth and they are so close, and totally idolise each other. Please tell him not to worry, he'll be fantastic I'm sure!

Thank you for your reassuring words. DH never knew his dad as he left when he got his mum pregnant at 19. He was also abused by a priest as a young boy, so has no good role models. He will be ok but was in tears last night as he said what he wants the most is what he fears the most.

lovely scan news eagle and vq :)

vq i really believe that the way to avoid repeating the bad childrearing patterns we have experienced is to be self-aware and to keep communicating with our partners about it, and your dh is clearly doing both, he will be great, especially with you to boost his confidence.

fjord wow great weather! our house prob is the opposite to yours we have too much space and is too expensive! (we're renting) also too far from dps work, and I'll want him home for bathtime...

hi everyone else too :)

Hi ladies,
Been MIA lately, been so busy at work and by the time I get home I have not got the energy to grab the laptop of other half. He has gone to the gym so logged on to catch up.
VQ - Lovely u are joining me with team blue. Your hubby will love him to bits and have the best time of his life I am sure
Fjord - Glad u have had some good weather. I keep wanting it to rain as the store I work in has old ac and is hot as hell and dont fancy the turn I had two weeks ago again. But when it gets to September the sun can shine I can slump in a chair and read my kindle bathing in the sunshine. Happy Camper waiting for baby Dylan to make an appearance

I am 28 weeks this Thursday ladies, I dont know where the time has gone!!! It scary , not long till I meet my little man. I keep thinking what colour his hair will be mine is red and partner is brown . Will he have my height or brown eyes or partners green eyes. Ah well as long as he is a happy soul and he will have more cuddles then he can cope with !!!!.
Still terrified about giving birth. With the advances in medical research you would think they could put you to sleep , suck em out safely, washing em and put them on your belly as you gentle wake up all wrapped up in a blanket. Surrounded by classical music and your partner looking on in awe at the miracle that you have provided through 9 + months of blood sweat worry and tears. No pain, no stitching no possible chance you could crap all over the midwife.

Evening everyone

Been waiting this week for the test results after Saturday's scan - was told to expect either a call earlier in the week if high risk, or a text later in week if everything was ok.

Was sat at my desk this afternoon trying to reassure myself everything would be ok when I got the call. Things aren't too bad - the risk is 1:112 (nuchal measurement was 1.6 and my age is 40) but it's not the news I was hoping for, and the 'high risk' label is scary. Doesn't help that I work in an office building of 4,000 people and the only place to find anything resembling privacy is to stand on the stairwell (where you are still visible to 200-odd people).

Had to take some notes v quickly about potential next steps re further tests and have now managed to skype DP who is abroad at a conference. His pc didn't have any sound on it so I spoke and he typed messages on the screen in reply, basically saying he will support whatever I choose to do (actually turned out to be quite a good way of communicating!)

I am leaning towards cvs as I think I just want peace of mind that everything is ok (and also to know now rather than at next scan that something is wrong).

I had a quick look at the previous 40+ thread and found screening discussed quite a bit but it seems that the majority of people had very low risk (up until this point I had been trying to convince myself that my results were 'normal' but clearly not)

So off now to do some more reading/research and also thinking of those poor people who have to cope with much worse odds.

If anyone here has had a cvs before, I would be interested to know what to expect as have to possibly organise it for Friday (would probably be on my own so not sure how feasible driving is afterwards?)

Thanks and have a nice evening everyone

LRM...that is freaky, I am 28 weeks this thursday too!! Due exactly one week before my 41st birthday

I haven't posted on here for ages, not since my very early days.

I have my GTT tomorrow as I was measuring ++ glucose a fortnight ago...fingers crossed it was just a wee blip

My wee man is 'very active' according to my sonographer...yeah, I had noticed thanks...I'm being pumelled from every angle these days...all day and all flippin night...if I'm not up peeing i'm rubbing my tummy to try and calm him down lol

Eagle..I'll keep everything crossed for a good result for you.

Off for my nightly bath and an early night...exhaustion seems to have set in again this week

Eagleray, You have all my sympathy as I have gone through this for this pg. but it was after my 22 week scan and not the first screening. I opted for amnio and had to wait for 4 weeks to get the final and complete results. By the time I had the results I was 26 weeks and feeling baby move so much, I am very grateful that all was clear and no bad news as I could not imagine a termination at the stage I was. as you said peace of mind is important to you and the baby and as far as I know cvs gives results very fast.
Regarding the procedure itself I have no experience. I was scared of miscarriage with the amnio, but the doctor I saw was very nice and seemed very skilled, she took time to answer my questions before the intervention itself. And it was not painful, I was told to avoid lifting anything heavy for 3 days and get some rest.
Can anyone go with you or pick you up after ? I am sure you will be fine re driving but how will you feel in your head ?
My thoughts are with you. I had lots of support in this thread when I went through it at the end of March.

On my side, I have washed and ironed alll 0-3 month baby clothes and bed linen today. Also signed my private medical insurance today, I am now covered ! That is a relief. Tomorrow I have a blood test and Thursday a growth scan, my cervix will also be checked, DH will join on Friday. No sign of early labour so far. BH from time to time, mainly at night....
Wave to everyone from dry and not too warm Paris.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I have had a call from my brother to say my dad is in hospital with cancer (not sure exactly what but sounds like stomach/liver and they are expecting a poor prognosis).

He is 400 miles away up in Scotland and so now really need to sort out practicalities for getting up there asap. Haven't seen him for years and relationship not partic close, but definitely need to visit.

Feeling a bit floored really - but I guess I have lots of practical things to sort out now. First thing is to break the news to my sister although can't stop crying now.

Sorry to bring nothing but bad news and my own misery this evening - have just realised how alone I'm feeling! Thanks for the info Hpbp - sounds like you have been through a very stressful time. I will see what appointments are available and then try and factor in some help (may even be able to get DP to get day off)

Eagle,

So sorry you have so much to deal with right now. Awful news about your Dad, got everything crossed things aren't as bad as they seem for him.

Re the test result have you posted over on the tests and choices board? They have some really knowledgeable people on there. I personally would want to know more about the result as 1.6 is a really good measurement so I would want to understand what has made it high before going for any more testing. A friend of mine had a really high result given to her (think 1:4 or 1;2) seemed this was largely down to her age and little else and actually there were no other markers. (Baby perfectly healthy and happy) I know it is easier said than done but try and turn that result round to a % and the risk is not so high - just sounds so goddam awful when they put it that way.

Anyway not sure that is helping right now - probably far too much to think about. Here is a big virtual hug - and you have every right to be miserable - under any type of criteria you have had a very very shitty day

Big hug here too eagle

That's good advice Midget - I was curious about the blood tests but didn't really get a chance to ask on the phone as was a bit thrown by the call.

I think what I will do is post on the test and choices board to find out what sort of information I should be getting, then will try and get a cvs appt tomorrow when I ring the midwife, then carry on researching (I am assuming it's not the end of the world if I cancel the appointment if I change my mind). Ideally I would get it done on the friday as DP may be around to help, plus I can recover over the weekend (I am self employed so it isn't ideal to take time off work, although obviously some things can't be helped)

I did ask when I had the blood tests if my screwy hormones could have any influence on the test, and they said no, but I probably need to find out more. My pituitary gland isn't functioning correctly, plus I found out at my scan they have me down as a potential thalassaemia carrier (news to me up until now).

I have noticed as well on the hyperemesis support thread that a lot of blood tests gave an increased risk (after background risk for age), possibly due to high HCG levels (in turn causing the hyperemesis). I guess I slightly have the reverse, my blood results have pulled the risk back from 1:85 (age alone) to 1:112 (combined factors)

God, it's all so confusing - I just wanted to try and get it out of the way before I have to go up to Scotland. Would like to be able to tell dad that I am having a baby, but hear he has already pulled his food tube out and been horrible to the hospital staff, so not sure how geared up he will be for conversation.

Dreading work tomorrow as my eyes are now puffy beyond repair. Will ask nicely if I can move to a quiet area to work so that I don't have to worry about crying in front of hundreds of people! Goodnight

Valium, hope your DH is feeling better, and for what it's worth I agree with bytheseaside, I think my DP's experiences as a child made him more determined to be an amazing father to DS. Your DH will be fantastic . LRM, 28 weeks! So exciting! Eagle, I'm so sorry about your dad. Such a lot to cope with at the moment. Re: test results, I'd just echo Midget about converting it to a percentage, it might help. Hope work goes OK for you today. Oooohshiny, hope you got your bath and early night, and good luck for today. Hpbp, sounds like it won't be long now! Good luck for your scan tomorrow.

16+3 wks for me, and off out for lunch today with a couple of friends. Nausea is a lot better although still knackered and don't feel great in the evenings. Rapidly expanding though! A friend is taking me to Bluewater on Saturday to get some maternity stuff - I don't really need it yet but my normal stuff is definitely "snug" and we're off on holiday next week so I need to be comfortable! Got my 16 week MW appt (I'll be 17+2) next Tuesday, then we're away from Thursday and my 20 wk scan just after we get back on 8th August. Really hope they can tell us if it's a boy or girl! Hope everyone else is OK xx

VQ I feel really sad for your dhs childhood. Its awful. He sounds so concerned and sensitive that I'm sure he'll be a fab dad to a son.

Eagle Poor you. It sounds very stressful for you. remeber to look after yourself as much as you can.

Knotty good luck woth maternity shopping. If you don't find decent mat stuff can I recommend Wallis. They have some very normal loose and longish tops that work very well.

Our remortgage was finally sorted out! Hooray! I was so stressed out because of crap staff. I got really angry yesterday and demanded to speak to the manager. Lo and behold, it was all sorted 2 hrs later.

I'm still residing in dampsville too. Fjord your message was reassuring. I'm paranoid because this is what happened with ds2 BUT I was overdue with him and it wouldve happened happened around 39/40 weeks anyway.

Baby is so active now and I can feel her getting stronger. Those kicks and punches can hurt sometimes! But its lovely

6 more weeks till I leave work for mat leave. I could do with leaving now as I'm getting ridiculously tired some days.

How's everyone else feeling?

VQ I feel really sad for your dhs childhood. Its awful. He sounds so concerned and sensitive that I'm sure he'll be a fab dad to a son.

Eagle Poor you. It sounds very stressful for you. remeber to look after yourself as much as you can.

Knotty good luck woth maternity shopping. If you don't find decent mat stuff can I recommend Wallis. They have some very normal loose and longish tops that work very well.

Our remortgage was finally sorted out! Hooray! I was so stressed out because of crap staff. I got really angry yesterday and demanded to speak to the manager. Lo and behold, it was all sorted 2 hrs later.

I'm still residing in dampsville too. Fjord your message was reassuring. I'm paranoid because this is what happened with ds2 BUT I was overdue with him and it wouldve happened happened around 39/40 weeks anyway.

Baby is so active now and I can feel her getting stronger. Those kicks and punches can hurt sometimes! But its lovely

6 more weeks till I leave work for mat leave. I could do with leaving now as I'm getting ridiculously tired some days.

How's everyone else feeling?

Sorry about duplicate posts. Caused by mn going offline again!

LRM glad to see you back! you sound very tired... I'm you with the birth plan - I want one of those too :)

Eagleray - I understand why you are worried - even though less than 1% would in other circumstances seem like good odds. I guess you are in the marginal position where risks of complication from doing a CVS pretty much balance the risk of the baby having something wrong. I haven't been in your position, so won't presume to give advice, but use us all as a sounding board it it helps. I'm so sorry about your Dad - it must all be very overwhelming at the moment - the feelings as well as managing the logistics. Never feel bad about offloading on here - it's what its for.

Shiny good to see you back :)

hpbp - you are getting very organised. It must be lovely to have all those teeny clothes ready - almost nothing melts me as much as a soft newborn vest!

knotty have fun shopping! I'm delighted now I have some things that make me look pregnant rather than a big biscuit eater, even if they mainly aren't 'official' pregnancy clothes. I've found normal stuff still fine, boosted by some comfy maternity leggings and bras, but the extra tummy room has been very welcome. I found there were loads of high-waisted tops and dresses with tummy room in 'normal' shops, as there isn't much in the way of maternity clothes in the shops where I live. I'm making the most of some minor indulgent shopping before I can no longer buying much for myself due to nappy bills etc etc.

exexe congrats on mortgage! Its great to cross one great big stress off the list

AFM, trying to chill today, but have ants-in-my-pants and may do some 'nesting' instead. Still largely failing to be relaxed most of the time - doesn't seem to be the same as 'sleepy' somehow, which I manage regularly. Ah well

hi - thanks all for the kind messages. Felt too tired to go to work today and also have temporarily destroyed my face through crying so am at home. It's been ok actually - had breakfast in the garden, and have also mowed the lawn and repotted my banana tree!

I rang MW today (different one today as they jobshare) and when I asked for the specifics re the blood results, she said she didn't have them and anyway they were too complicated to make sense of. Have been told now it's too late to book test for this week, so what I have done is ask for next available appt (which will be next week) and then this gives me time to think things over and even cancel if I change my mind.

Apparently the hospital (not my regular one) do the tests a lot, and for often complex cases and all of the practitioners are experienced with good risk rates.

Waiting to hear more news about dad, and mentally preparing myself for a sibling road trip in next couple of weeks - we are all a little bit angry as well as sad as were treated very badly as children (he had severe mental health problems) and although there was the potential to have a better (albeit still not 'normal') relationship with him as adults, he has remarried and stepmother does not permit us to visit. All very odd and dysfunctional - families are great, aren't they.

Eagle - Sending big hugs honey. Look after yourself

Shiny - Good to see ya

Knotty - Happy shopping . M&S sale starts thursday so off to spend on baby stuff plus staff discount makes for even cheaper.

Exexe- I am also bloody knackered up each work day at 6 then home at near 6 , on my feet 95% of the day so I looooooove my bed at the moment. Only bummer is I wake up in the wee hours and cant get back to sleep brain starts ticking over. Woke up at 4 this morning and did not drop off this 530 ish then up 30 mins later. Be glad for a layin at the weekend.
On that note early night for me after my bowl of coca pops
Hope everyone got a bit of sun today

Sun??? What is that lol!!

GTT was straightforward enough although that sugary drink is heave inducing and me and the other lass having it down were a bit pukey afterwards....so glad our maternity unit has a nice wee room with recliners where you can have a wee snooze. Had a bit of a nightmare getting blood out of me though, worse than usual so my arms & hands are a bit of a bruised mess.

LRM I can sympathise - I have similar hours to you with a slightly earlier start and my sleep is a nightmare at the moment.

Eagle you seem to be having a time of it...try to remember (easier said than done I know) to take time for yourself and not to worry/stress to much.

Ex lucky you eh...only 6 weeks to go

Its a quiet day on here! I've been virtual house hunting all day - can't face doing it for real in this rain... Makes me feel a bit overwhelmed, but the idea of being properly settled before the baby arrives is motivating me to keep going ... Doesn't look like we can afford anything remotely nice or big enough in areas we'd like to live, so I'm biting the bullet and looking at grimmer places - which would at least be much nearer DP's work so he could be home early to spend time with us.

I'm on a mission to sort out our cupboards ready for moving - lucky Oxfam ... bet they don't really want our extra vases and old bras...

Shiny is GTT the diabetes test? Does everyone get tested for this?

x

Old birds and fat birds and birds with family history get tested. Also birds who had heavy chicks previously.

I am laid up with a badly sprained ankle. Fell from the third step outside my house. Just locked house, turned around and carried on walking until I landed on my left foot. Still effing hurts like a very hurty thing. Thankfully bump is ok, and I was not carrying a wean.

Thank you for the words of encouragement about DH. He seems to be working through his feelings.