Things I wish people had told me when I was pregnant

[katiegolightly]

Sorry - a long one. Ok so we're only on day 17 but now the haze is starting to clear I thought I'd jot a list of all the things specific to my experiences so far that I wish I'd been told about earlier - i.e. in pregnancy. Those marked with * are things that I was told about but damnit I wish I'd paid more attention to!! SERIOUSLY. Oh and it's all a bit higgledy piggledy order-wise such is my brain now :-)

1. Don't buy any cute outfits for your baby in 0-3. Get 5-10 vests (no arms or legs) like M&S ones have been brilliant. Layer with a babygro day and night. It's all you need. I feel bad that all the cute things she has been bought in newborn and 0-3 probably will only get worn for the thank you photo, they are too faffy to dress them in!

1. Take 2 hats into hospital. I was asked to take one into theatre for my CS because they like to put one on the baby straight away. I had a spare for taking her home luckily as it gets gunked up immediately.

1. Don't worry about dressing your baby in hospital if you don't want to. Ours spent 3 days in nappy/blanket. I figured I would learn 'dressing the baby' at home. Hospital was for learning to feed, nappy change and cuddle - the extra complication is not worth it, she will be PLENTY warm enough, hospitals are saunas.

*4. Don't do too much too soon. Fortunately the drugs they give you (post CS) are brilliant. In my case, I thought this meant I was superwoman. Just because you feel more than capable of unloading the washing machine and dishwasher on day 5, DON'T. Stupidly I seemed to forget that it wasn't just the healing visible scar I should be thinking of but all the layers inside that had been cut through. You need to heal, seriously, enjoy a good couple of weeks on the couch.

*5. When arranging your visits, tell them the curfew. All of my visitors have turned up late and all of them have said 'tell me when you want me to go'. This is great, but I'm not good at saying 'now actually'. Make sure when you say, 'sure, come over Wednesday evening' that you add on 'kicking out time is 9pm as that's when I have to go to bed to manage the night feeds'

*6. Don't have visitors every day. Give yourself at least 3 days in week 1 with nobody knocking at your door. You need it.

*7. Stock up your freezer if you haven't already. This has proved a life saver.

*8. It's ok to be in shock when your baby is born. Stupidly I wanted to ask 'is she mine' when they lifted her above the screen. I also expected to be blubbing uncontrollably (I am the emotional type...) I haven't at all yet. I wonder if I am emotionally broken. This is ok and normal. Don't put pressure on yourself of DP to react a certain way.

1. I love ted talks - I've watched this one so many times but I urge you to take 15 mins to watch this, it's inspiring and very comforting about 5 parenting taboos. It has helped me a lot. www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos.html

10. If you know you are having a CS, buy some tea tree oil to massage into your scar once it has initially healed and also look at silicon gel / pads (you can buy from Amazon) to soften and fade your scar over time. You may prefer to dilute the tea tree in water, I didn't and it's been fine.

11. Apart from the M&S babygros I mentioned, most things that go over the head have been annoying. If you can find short sleeved & short legged vesty things like from M&P or mothercare that have popper fronts, these are really easy to work with. Our house is warm in the day and this plus blankets has been fine without a babygro.

12. Stock up on box sets or trashy books. You probably won't have any time to watch/read them - but when you do snatch an hour, indulge in something that will really pep you up and take your mind off stuff.

*13. Your baby will cry. Sometimes there is a reason, sometimes there isn't.

14. It's ok to admit there are moments that are boring or groundhog day.

15. Some foods when in your breastmilk may upset your baby. Some babies may be intollerant to dairy & gluten, some say chocolate, citrus, strawberries and egg are particular culprits. Eat things in moderation and if you notice something may cause issues, cut one thing out at a time. Everyone is different.

16. www.kellymom.com is a brilliant resource for all things breastfeeding. Get familiar with it before your baby comes out! It answers all those questions about how much and how often your baby should eat, how you know if they are getting enough when your are breastfeeding etc.

17. Photocopy your antenatal notes well in advance. I kept delaying and my waters broke - no copy. I'm told by my hospital (Chelsea & Westminster) it will cost me £50 to get a copy.

*18. Those first few days you have colostrum only. YOU WILL KNOW when your milk comes in. Mine did overnight on day 3 and it was painful. Like tingly severe sunburn. Hard, hot watermelon boobs, hot flushes, dripping with sweat. I was just not expecting it. They eased throughout the next day as I started to use them and felt fine 12 hours later! Get a couple of flannels ready so you can put hot water flannels on your boobs, it was the only thing that eased them.

19. If you want to pamper your little ones bottom, get a thermos flask and a little bowl for beside your changing station/s, particularly if you don't have a sink within arms reach. Water available for every change - warm to boot! I've been advised not to use wipes on a newborn.

20. When you are discharged your antenatal notes will be retained. You will be given 2 new sets of notes, one about you and one about your baby. These document your labour and stay in hospital and every check up, test, conversation you had with midwives and doctors in your dazed state. READ THEM BEFORE YOU LEAVE. I didn't. I didn't understand or agree with a lot of it. These notes stay with you until your last midwife visit at home. Photocopy these before your last midwife visit too. They are militant and will not let you keep them to copy yourself past this date.

*21. Yes, scratchmits are useless and fall off. Rely on the ones in babygros. Most babygros seem to have them in but most products online don't state this when you buy them. It's very annoying that this isn't clearer.

22. Get some Lansinoh cream for your nipples. Make sure it is in your hospital bag. Those first few days were the worst by far for cracked scabby nipples.

23. First few days of feeding can be frustrating / hellish. Research about hand expressing colustrum into tiny syringes, you may end up doing it and I was totally lost. Wish I'd known more.

24. Ask your hospital about checking your babys blood sugar straight after they are born if they are on the small side. They forgot to do this for me and a also an NCT friend this week which meant an extra day in hospital for monitoring on the 'blood sugar protocol' purely because they forgot to test something sooner.

25. Get a feeding app on your phone or find a way to record feeds. I'm the most organised person in the world and I thought this was a ridiculous notion - how hard can it be to remember when you last fed, for how long and on which side. Only after 2 weeks did we settle into this but I still often forget which side I've done - all feeds blur into one, it really helps to keep a record. Find an app now, the most useful time is that first 48 hours. I promise.

26. Write everything down as soon as you can. The birth story, how you felt. There is so much going on it's hard to remember a few days later. You'll be glad to look back on those feelings and thoughts. My DP took a video of DD being lifted out. If I'd known I'd have said no way. I didn't really realise he'd done it until a week later and I'm so pleased he did. Not to Facebook it, to remind myself what happened when I was so in shock I couldn't take it in at the time.

27. Right now all you can focus on is pregnancy and the birth. It's all you know to prepare for. It seemed so obvious after she was born that the delivery was only the tip of the iceberg but I can't believe how fixated I was on this part and how small that seems now we are on the other side. Spend some time considering week 1. Nothing will prepare you for it, but at least think about it!

28. Emma Jane bamboo vest tops have been my only attire for 2 weeks! No bras, just these and comfy trousers. Worth their weight in gold for feeding and easy covering up again when you have visitors. www.amazon.co.uk/Emma-Jane-Bamboo-Nursing-Vest-White-10/dp/B000V6N91A/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby&ie=UTF8&qid=1336029445&sr=1-1

29. If there's something you need/want to do, do it now. Whether that's redecorating your house, going to the theatre, whatever. You won't give a stuff about anything else in life when your baby arrives. I thought I would, I don't.

30. You may wake up in the night thinking you are holding the baby when she is in her crib. It's scary. I've done this 5 times now and seriously thought I'd dropped her in the bed. Weird feeling. (I've not fallen asleep with her in the bed at all)

31. Get some good hand cream and put it by your changing station. Your hands will be v dry with constant washing.

32. You can't have too many muslins. I have 20, I could easily use 30, they are scattered around every room in the house.

33. Microwavable sterilisers are the way forward. Even just for 1 expressed feed per day/night. I have an Avent one, it's awesome and I put my Medela swing in there every day too, I'd be lost without it.

34. Get a fruitcake or something that will keep. Your visitors (who are lazy and don't bring their own cake) can have a slice and you won't feel bad. Not that you should.

35. Get a banana shaped breastfeeding pillow. Another fantastic purchase for feeding on the bed/couch/anywhere. Otherwise you will need to stuff cushions around you awkwardly or get RSI!

36. Pack your change bag when you get home from an outing, not before you go out. You'll be more ready to up and go when you want to and less faffing.

37. Water in bottles. Glasses are great until you can't chug the whole lot and can't reach the table. Constantly calling DP to take the glass off me.

38. Get some almond oil (neals yard) or beeswax to moisturise any dry skin like on your baby's hands or feet. It's lovely to spend time rubbing their little toes too, nice time for mummy after a feed.

Ok, I think that's all for now, I've gone on for long enough. Hope some is helpful for some of you!

Not read the whole thread but my tips would be:

• Get in some hot cross buns or similar. Butter and cling film before bed, put beside bed / feeding chair. A 3am snack when bfing is amazing!

• Arnica tablets are amazing. I had an internal tear and forgot to start taking them, was in agony. Once I had started them, I felt better within 12 hours.

• Use Johnson's Baby Shampoo as shower gel if you've torn. It's no more tears, y'know

Defo buy very little clothes in 0-3 months. My DD was in them for 3 days. The carrycot lasted 2 weeks, the moses basket (large) for 6 weeks. I had expected a big baby and told everyone so thankfully people sent gifts in 3-6 months upwards. The amount you get given is phenomenal. The world and his wife, her Nanna and their next door neighbour but one will all send "a little something". It's fantastic but a little overwhelming!

If bfing, you will have a night (about day 3) when at 4am you have been up for hours, you're crying, baby is crying and there's nothing anyone can do. You're waiting for your milk to come in and baby wants it now. It is hell. But you need to go through it to encourage the milk to come.

And if you want no visitors at home, then don't. We had 3 days of just the 3 of us before any visitors allowed. We needed it to get over the shock of the change and being parents.

trinitybleu, that reminds me. be prepared for the night that the baby, you and dh/dp are up (all crying) and dh and you have a diagreement on some point of parenting (you're right of course!) and one of you threatens to leave . hopefully this wouldn't happen but if it does it is only the sleep deprivation/hormones/bloody scariness of it all and your marriage is NOT falling apart.

at "sobbing incontrollably at the beauty of your baby's left ear, or whatever." - remember that well!

Another one I can think of

• I keep reading on here "don't spend money on poncey baby towels with hoods, they are a waste of money." Well they probably are but my eldest is nearly 12 and I cleared out the airing cupboard at the weekend, chucked out a load of manky shite but STILL cooed tearfully over the baby towels with hoods that I had used for but a few weeks so very long ago, as I can still remember how cute he looked and how lovely he was. (Is!) And we have lots of photos of him in them (see: cuteness, above). I don't think they were a waste of money at all!

You've found time to watch box sets and read books? I'm and in awe!

I would say if you want to read anything do it now!

I bought loads of pregnancy and baby names books and read them cover to cover while pregnant. The child development books I had intended to read after DS was born remain largely untouched.

Shame, as this one in particular looks great How Babies Think: The Science of Childhood

I expect I'll get round to it when DS is big and think - oh that's what was all about!

Oh, I have a really useful one.

There's a good possibility you can simply not pay your mortgage for 6 months or so.

Lots of mortgage companies let you have a mortgage holiday if you're on maternity.

I only found this out by accident. It made such a difference, we would have really struggled without it - financially and practically.

With a mortgage holiday it meant DP could take a long break to be at home with us, and I can't describe how great it was to have him around - the first few months of being parents were actually pretty easy with 2 parents at home, my mum friends who were on their own at first found pretty tough I think.

Also it meant I could afford to take the whole year off.
Without the mortgage holiday I woud have had to go back to work much sooner.

Great list! I'd like to add one thing that I now realise I needed someone to sit me down, look me in the eye and tell me. That thing is that when the time comes, when you're pushing and it is the final hurdle, i.e. baby time, that when you push it will genuinly feel like you are going to break your own bum.

Everything else you put is fab and best of luck to you all xxx

From a very old hand....

A) any clothing that has poppers down the legs and on the botty area is great - so much easier for changing. You will end up not putting your baby into anything that involves forcing your baby to be an Olympic gymnast doing a floor routine....

B) I found that baby sleeping bags which are sleeveless were brilliant at night. They kapt baby cool enough not to overheat but warm enough so that they didn't wake up from being cold when they had kicked their bedding off. All three of ours would start at one end of the cot and end up in a corner at the other end but they remained warm if they had their sleeping bags on:)

C) The only shoes that stay on babies are those little leather ones with elastic round them. A little more expensive but at least you don't lose them.

D) Best advice someone gave me was to try to enjoy the first four weeks as they will go by in a haze and tabbies don't stay as newborns for long.

E) Research NOW all the shops that have mother and baby areas for changing and feeding and after the birth plan all your shopping trips around them knowing they are nearby so you can make a mad dash for it if required.

F) Always carry a spare vest and baby gro in your nappy change bag. Every baby tricks you by occasionally doing a poo so massive it goes up their back and all over their clothes (those in the know now smiling to themselves). You will be grateful for those spare clothes at least once in your baby's early months.

G) Do not buy every bit of kit going before the birth There is shopping life after birth! A baby bath is a waste of money. Once your baby is 7 months old you will find an umbrella stroller is all that is required pramwise and that expensive Rolls Royce pram costing £300 is no longer required, so if you can borrow something for those first few months then do.

H) Holidays will never be the same when you have a baby to take along with you - sunbathing is out for several years! And you will have lost the ability to "nip" anywhere when at home Thank goodness for Internet shopping!

I) I joined an NCT antenatal and post natal group and from these we formed a babysitting circle which saved an enormous amount of money and I really trusted 100% another mum with a similar aged baby to look after my baby if she woke. Mostly I enjoyed going out and watching telly in someone else's house without having to worry about all my chores back at home.

J) Accept that your house will never ever be tidy again

K) Your baby/child will change every three weeks. Mostly they do grow out of those wilful annoying phases so don't let those get you down. Go with the flow.

L) Make sure your partner knows that if you are on maternity leave that doesn't mean you are the main Carer 24/7. You will need a break from this "job" like he needs a break from his so discuss with him before the birth how you will split the child care hours outside of 7-7 Monday-Friday so that he realises in advance that this new arrival will affect his evenings and weekends as well as yours.

Have fun all you pregnant ladies out there. It is a wonderful privilege to be a mum

I'm having my 4th any minute now and feeling a little embarrassed that I haven't actually thought about the birth or the aftermath at all, the tips in this list are brilliant (so much so I had to microwave my tea) and gave me a good chuckle too. I love the advice to stay in your PJs so you look more needy and people won't expect you to make them tea What can I add?

• Choose a Birth Centre if you have one nearby. My first was born in one and it was a lovely experience, like a hotel stay. All medical bits hidden away, no doctors with intrusive instruments, we could stay as long as we liked, there was brilliant breastfeeding support and privacy and space and private bathroom...
• Don't waste money on a hand pump but spend more and get the electrical plug-in sort - otherwise you'll get a sore neck when trying to deflate your balloon-breasts and feel really inadequate and sore and depressed, compounding all your baby blues.
• When giving birth, be prepared for your body to just take over, and expect to be completely taken aback and frightened by the power of how it feels, like a bowling ball trying to push its way out of its own accord. Know that this panicky feeling is the adrenaline kicking in and part of the process, where you step into second stage mode.
• Lots of frozen meals and stock up on tinned stuff, to save worrying about cooking. Spag bol, shepherds pie, curry, fruit cocktail, etc. You could even start putting aside some apple puree etc for the coming months.
• Don't buy too much stuff - the baby won't need or use or wear all these things, it's such a waste of money and all the mats and baths and clothes and toys are in such abundance out there second hand. I wish I'd not bought the £20 pack of baby socks and the classy wooden shape sorter and the bumbo, the nappy twisty machine, the cot tidy, etc etc etc etc !
• A small nappy bag is fine for taking out; you just need 1 nappy, a nearly-used-up pack of wipes, an spare all-in-one gro, and any feeding bits. With my first I lugged a huge thing around but my twins I just took a fold-out mat with a couple of nappies inside and the world didn't come to an end!
• Get chummy with other mums early on, at all the groups - it does help you build up a valuable network of friends and acquaintances later on once you're 'Just A Mum', as another poster mentioned - even if you bump into each other years later your kids will be the same age and you'll have quite a bit in common already.
• Don't fret about the SIDS advice on sleeping - obviously take heed of the recommendations, however cot death is really very uncommon and you have enough to worry about without panicking yourself silly that baby keeps turning on their front. Likewise about sterilising bottles - in Denmark etc noone does, hygiene is important in the early days but don't get too OCD over it.
• Take certain baby books by 'baby experts' who shall remain nameless with a pinch of salt. You just find your own way of doing things, you are your own expert on your own baby. All babies are very very different and you'll very quickly develop an instinct for how to parent your particular baby. Most of the baby advice is really just common sense anyhow.
• Strange one - buy a very cheap waterproof-backed picnic rug and give baby regular nudey-time!!! It's really beneficial for them and you, and saves getting wee on the carpet or duvet!
• Expect to be a bit bored and lonely and depressed - completely normal and I wish I'd known how emotional and hormonal and teary you get. You think 'I'm a rubbish mother' and 'I'm so ugly and fat' every 5 minutes and worry about the smallest of things, day and night. After feeling so special and pregnant it comes as a huge shock to be no longer special, just tired and ugly and inadequate!! But Once you've made the herculean effort to GO OUT (find rain cover, work out how pram opens out, shower with baby on floor, apply under-eye concealer to hide purple bags, locate all items of clothing (twice because they pooed), pack bag etc etc, you feel better and human and part of the normal world again. So aim to go out every day, even if just for a wander. Going now, I've gone on way too long!

Thank you so much for this. Just beyond halfway with DS1 and finding anything as comprehensive as this list has been impossible. Best of luck with your little one and thanks for sharing.

yy yogamonkey. It can feel like you will break your bum, ha ha! My tip would be that when pushing, you push through your bum. I didn't know this first time round, and took some valuable time to get my head round this, because my brain was shouting 'no, no'. If you poo yourself, you poo yourself, what can you do?

Ooh giving birth feels like doing the most enormous poo ever (and yes it bloody hurts- for me 10x worse than contractions!).

1. If the birth doesn't go as smoothly as you'd like, be kind to yourself. Lots of lavendar baths. Keep your stitches clean and show them to every hcp you see to make sure they are healing properly!

1. Putting baby down is actually ok. I didn't put my PFB down for ages and wasn't actually sure how to get things done (she hated her sling). Putting baby on a blanket on the floor is perfectly acceptable! And baby usually loves it.

1. Slings are wonderful-DD2 loved hers. (She didn't get to lie on the floor so much with a 17mth big sis running about)

1. Whichever way you feed your child is OK. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY OR BE MADE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

(Either FF because 'breast is best' or by others who make you feel awkward about BF. Been on both sides fwiw. And felt awful for FF dd1 from 8 weeks.)

4a. Your milk may not come in by day 3. Mine didn't til day 5 with first and day 7 with second.

1. I was not prepared for the baby blues and cried completely irrationally every evening same time from about day 3- day 10! (Didn't happen at all second time round.)

1. Baby/Toddler groups are good for meeting other mums and a new baby is a brilliant way to break the ice.

1. Make the most of your first maternity leave, your first baby, napping whenever you want etc! Having two or more is still lovely but there is always someone wanting something!

Marking my place! Looks like a very useful thread :)

This is a great thread and took me right back to the overwhelming confusion I felt after having my 1st. Nobody can prepare you for how much it changes you life, but I wish I'd been told:

• You are learning a brand new job. You wouldn't expect to walk into a new career with no previous training and be perfect on your first day. You have to learn how to do all this stuff. The baby will not remember all the trivial mistakes you make at the beginning.
• Sleep deprivation is a killer and makes you do stupid things. Concentrate on where you put the baby down and on making sure they are somewhere safe.
• It's ok for them to cry sometimes as long as they are safe. Do not feel you have to always satisfy the baby's needs that minute. I'm not talking about leaving them unattended for long, just that it is ok to put them down in their cot or Moses basket crying while you nip to the loo, get a snack or put the kettle on. When they have a period when they are crying a lot it is easy to forget to look after yourself.
• Make sure you have a drink, snack and book/TV remote within reach before you start a BF. I lost count of the times that I realised I'd left my cup of tea over the other side of the room and hed to struggle back out of the chair with baby firmly latched on to fetch it.
• Put a waterproof sheet on your bed. Even if the baby doesn't leak on your mattress, your boobs will.
• Research local BF and other baby groups before you have the baby. Try and have a timetable of a different place you can go every day. Getting out every day helps a lot. Getting out to somewhere with people going through similar experiences can help even more IME and having a start time to a session makes you get yourself together and get out of the house instead of faffing all day about whether everything is ready to go out with. Also, if you have been up all night with the little horror, you may not be feeling that charitably disposed towards him/her the next day and you sometimes need lots of people admiring the baby to remind you that they are actually fab.
• Try and talk to parents having 2nd or subsequent babies as well as other 1st time parents. Second time around most people are much more relaxed and have more idea of what is really important.

In case this seems a bit negative, I would just add that despite finding it hard at the beginning with my first DC, I now have 2 brilliant kids and I wouldn't change that for the world. I hope you all have fabulous experiences from day 1, but if you don't just hang in there and it will get better. Good luck!

Amazing thread, Katie thanks so much. And congratulations on your baby . I'm having my first in August and will watch this like a hawk. So much good advice, thank you. My main worries are feeding properly (breast if possible, if not, then bottle and I'm fine with that too fwiw) and actually, the birth itself. So it's great to read others' experiences.

What are your thoughts about bathing baby? How often should it be done when they're really tiny? I keep reading conflicting advice about every day versus leaving for a few days when they're first born to protect delicate skin and oils, so am a bit confused.

Thanks again!

PS, waves at Lovemarmite!

Mrs Miggins

DC2 wasn't washed at all after his birth, for about a week! He just had a bit of a rub with a towel when he came out. He wasn't that gunky anyway and any bits seemed to just disappear. He smelt lovely.

He had a bath after about a week and then about every week after that until at about 3 months we started including him in the whole bath and bedtime thing, and he went in with his sister.

Brilliant thread!

I would add:

Not everyone feels an instant bond with their baby. Don't panic. It will happen, just let it come in its own sweet time and enjoy it when it does (which could be several weeks later).

On the PJs question, you just have to guard against bare tummys that get cold and wake them up.

And I do wish I'd just taken to my bed with my newborn and eaten more.

bathing: had to do a bath before discharge to show we knew how

DS LOVED baths but HV warned us not do do them more than every other day at first (less if possible)

no soap, never used soap, only ever use soap/shampoo on DS if he's been swimming (and he doesn't smell and his hair is lovely!)

agree with oneof4, there is an instinct to love, but it's like any other kind of love there is a getting to know you process to cement it

The other thing for people having their first, the biggest thing to get your head around isn't "how do I do X or Y" its more existential than that i.e. becoming a parent and everything that goes with it.

You can be an expert feeder, bather, baby entertainer, your baby can be the best looked after baby in the world etc etc, you can follow all the tips on here, but in the end it just takes raw Time to get used to the fact of parenthood and to feel like you really are a parent rather than someone trying to be one.

So if you feel wobbly at times, its to be expected. You're getting used to it.

Hi Mrs Miggins - like what Bumpsadaisie said - we've been v lazy and it was over a week before she got a bath! We're doing this every 3 days ish now just to get her used to it, but as she gets bigger we'll try to make this a daily part of bedtime and settling. But I suspect we'll not do this until she has a regular 'bedtime' in couple of months? That's my guess anyway!

She does get her milky face cleaned with warm water and cotton balls every day though, or every feed if she dribbles into her lovely wrinkly chin

I only started bathing my 2yo DD every other day when she was quite old, as she had started to smell!! Think it was the summer after she was 1yo and I realised her feet were soooo cheesy from all the walking in her canvas shoes. Before that, it was every few days (as much as we could tolerate really, as sometimes she screamed bloody murder and others she enjoyed it) and I think as a newborn, maybe once or twice a week. We had to bathe her in the hospital as part of the discharge procedure they give for all first time parents as with monkeymoma and mainly top and tailed her for a while. Newborns get cold easily and although April, when my DD was born, can be quite warm, I think sometimes it was a little too cool for a bath too often. Now we sometimes just chuck her in the bath for a quick shower rather than do the whole bath thing if its not a bath day or we're all too knackered. Only wash her hair once a week roughly though.

That reminds me - you don't need a top and tail bowl. I bought one (to match the nappy pail and changing mat that I bought from Boots - love them still though!!) and a basin of water would do just as well, as long as you wash face first and use fresh cotton wool for bottom.

Some great tips here. I would just add that the first time you look at yourself unclothed in the mirror after giving birth can be quite a shock. I cried. No-one looks great nude after giving birth. But things do improve, so try not to let it get you down. A couple of years later A few months later you'll be back to normal.

One thing which I didn't plan for was that the baby might arrive earlier than expected... I was certain I was going to be at least 10 days overdue, so when Babyjam arrived almost 4 weeks early it was a bit of a shock, and necessitated purchase of emergency 'tiny baby' clothes so that her little hands could get to the ends of the sleeves (now but scary at the time as she was so weeny). The Newborn and 0-3 stuff came in handy but not for a while.

Things I didn't expect:
People will buy tons of newborn and 0-3 things for you, and it may be a struggle to get it all worn before baby grows out of stuff! You can take unworn/unwashed things back and replace them with a bigger size.

Oh, and I second Oneof4 - you might not get the rush of bonding love straightaway. It might take a few days, or even weeks. Don't beat yourself up over it, it will happen. Let your hormones settle down, and just look after yourself and the baby, and remember that half the work is done - your baby has bonded with you - you will catch up.

Oh, and find your local children's centres... SO much stuff going on that I didn't know about, my BF cafe, held at my local Surestart, was a 'gateway' activity into new mummy friends and lots of valuable help.