Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread- Part 2

[cori]

A new thread for us all to share our mutual anxieties, hopes and fears.

Slink, is it you who had a cervical stitch? Hope you don't mind me asking....

hi boopert yeah i had a stitch put in almost 3 weeks ago:)

Slink, I had a bad time with dd1 and once I'd got to the stage of believing dd2 was actually going to be joining us I worried BIG time over having her at hospital. I had got to know the community midwives by this point and really liked them and was desperate for a homebirth knowing it would involve one of them. At my 36 week appointment with the consultant he very very very kindly pointed out that I would probably have high blood pressure (it was just starting to go up) and that he would really rather I was in. To make it as home like as possible it was agreed that I would have a delivery room at the hospital but that I would have one of the community midwives come in and deliver me/us. A compromise. I had to write to the head of the community midwives who discussed it with the midwives of my area and everything was agreed.

In the end nothing went to plan. I had an abrupted placenta, dd2 arrived in 77 minutes, I lost 2 litres of blood and she was blue. The midwife and registrar that helped us through were unknown to me but were absolutely fabulous. Had I had dd2 at home she might not have survived - I definitely would'nt have.

what I'm trying to demonstrate is that there are alternatives out there that might help put you at ease. Once you get to know the community midwives you might be able to ask permission for one of them to come into the hospital and look after you. Ask your consultant whether he would support a home birth - if he/she says yes then that will help to overturn the decision the low risk midwife has made. finally I think if you want to have a homebirth there is actually very little they can do to prevent you doing it AND I think they are legally obliged to come out and support you - not 100% on this but I'm sure if you do a thread on it that there are loads of people out there who could clarify.

What is it about the hospital that scares you? Is there another hospital you could go to?

And what were you told in regard of how soon after the stitch comes out you go into labour?
I got mine put in 4weeks ago but no one told me anything. Went in a bit blind. Obviously without it baby wouldn't still be here but its nice to know roughly whats gonna happen.

Hi there!

Sorry to crash but just seen Slinks dilema. Would it be possible to modify the hospital delivery room - ie. remove the high risk equipment and put out side of the room and make the environment much more homely. You could ake in pillows and blankets from home and have music and candles and essential oils. I know some hospitals don't entertain this practice, but you could argue the Health White Paper with them that they should be aiming to allow all mums-to-be to have the birth experience of thier choice. (If I was qualified, I would suggest this )

wow wills your birth story sounds very scarey
i think the consultants will agree that a homebirth is not good as i had a previous c/section abeit 9 years ago and 2 vaginal births since- they still think its a risk.
so there is no way i can get a consultant on side. i had a traumatic first birth with 53 hours labour, loads of students standing around me watching me push poo's out felt like a complete freak show as if they had sold tickets to a breech birth, they even had note pads, didn't know who my midwife was, ended in emergency c/section which i felt pain throughout as the epidural only worked on 1 side.
my second birth was alot less traumatic and was a vbac.
my third birth was my 23 week baby and that was traumatic as the hospital was completely incompetent (won't go into detail as its far to depressing)
i suppose i just thought a homebirth would be better, but the hospital i am at now is better than the last one as in care, not better as in nice rooms etc but care is more important. am just dissapointed as even if baby goes to term i will end up with iv lines in all over and stuck lieing down in bed etc

boopert- i am unsure on that myself i did not ask either, i did ask whether i would go to term and got alot of mixed answers from different drs too. from what ive read on the internet they take it out anywhere from 35-38 weeks or if you go into labour before that. i will ask at my next appointment which is friday.
i have heard people say that it could take weeks to go into labour after stitch has been taken out but i don't see how thats possible, surely an incompetent cervix would only take a couple of days to open.

Hi CH:) Thats a good idea, i would feel like i was moving in lol but i suppose i could bring pillows etc and ask them for a matress on the floor rather than being strapped to a bed etc. i will discuss it with someone when i see them although think it still might be a bit early to make birth plans.

Its not too early Slink. Start making plans now as you might have to go through the head of midwifery or your consultant, but they can't really stop you delivering in the way you want unless there is a clinical reason. Deffo ask to go in the largest room available and get on the floor (with mattress of course!!) Most delivery rooms have the facility to play music, and find out about homeopathy too, it will help you relax in labour and you will only focus on the positives rather than the negatives. I really really hope it all goes to plan.

Well i've been told they will take it out at 36 weeks if i go that far.
And i've also been told it could be as soon as 48hrs of it being removed! Think i'll camp out near the hospital once its taken out....

Am seeing Consultant next week so will try and remember to ask him.

Gosh, as the day goes on i'm feeling more and more nervous. For no reason.

CH- wish you could be there:)
boopert- if they take my stitch out at 36 weeks i may well have a may baby not a june one! i do think my ce4vix will pop open as soon as the stitch is taken out.
how pg were you when they put your stitch in? and was it put in because a scan showed funnelling etc or was it put in because of last pregnancy ?
what chances did they give you of going to term?

I was 11 weeks so gosh it was ages ago..how time flies.
Had to have it as had cone biopsy when i was 19yo and they said i would prob never have kids. Then got pg at 25 with ds and it was a perfect pg. Then got pg 18months later and cervix opened at 17weeks. This time have had weekly scans and showed my cervix was beginning to shorten at 11weeks so they stitched him in. Otherwise i would be grieving another baby.
They've not told me much, i think the consultant wants me to relax as suffered pnd before and depression after losing baby so he is worrying for me. Still on weekly scans but he gave me this week off. Things are looking ok, he is happy with it all. So who knows? Hoping its a bit early but not too early!

Slink, you can do anything you want birth wise but remember consulants etc normally know best (although policies differ in regions). I know this is no help to you but back up north the rooms were like rooms rather than delivery rooms, ie all equipment was put away in cupboards and there was an en-suite in every room as that was the room you stayed in post-natally too. So if you could achieve that environment I'm sure that will help. Also the fact that this baby will be absolutely fine when it's born.

similar story here, i had 2 kids at term all normal etc then my next pregnancy, 6 years later, i lost at 23 weeks, drs said it was infection. so for this pg i had to demand scans and my cervix showed thinning at 23 weeks so they put a stitch in. drs still don't know how and why my cervix became incompetent. i have had 2 scans since the stitch and all was fine, my next one will be my last they say.
i am happy though as i am 26 weeks tommorrow and thats great:)
since the stitch i have had down there probs- am convinced i have infection, i will get results from swab on friday. have you had any symptons of infection? or did things just go back to normal?
also do you feel pressure when you walk too far?
Its so lucky you were getting scans from early pg, i was not even booked in until 15 weeks!

Boopert, sorry to hear about the cone biopsy and the baby you lost.
Slink, 26 weeks tomorrow, that's great!
I was just reading some advice about exercise and pregnancy, and it said not to exercise if you've been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix--maybe that's why you're feeling the pressure when you walk too far.
I'm feeling vg for doing lots of exercise--still eating too much, so will never have that designer bump, but it really helps with the anxiety...and have felt definite movements this afternoon.

Slink, I would continue to echo CH. Although you may come across the occassional bullish Midwife or consultant on the whole I found people wanted my experience of childbirth to be positive and tried to find ways to do so. Next time you see your midwife tell her your fears. If she doesn't listen find someone else to listen. Keep going until you get someone to help you!

mygirl- your hospital sounds fab:)
arabica- ive been sitting down alot, and eating alot too, my thighs are getting bigger and bigger! im gonna have loads of weight to lose after this
i will try and talk to someone at my next appointment, i suppose i could have a water birth if i was in hospital, i did think about doing this at home but thought it really expensive and then don't think my flat would take the weight lol

Now what did i tell you all, far too much chatting going on, my poor brain is gonna explode

Arabica - congrats for making it to 20 weeks. I feel like that at every scan, worried there will be bad news. Sounds like you're normal to me. Your baby will be fine.

Wills - just reading about your "sweet treats" is making my mouth water.
So sorry to hear all your bad news, hope you're doing ok. I can;t imagine how you must feel, how is Dh coping? I sometimes have a little blood on wiping, a tiny amount normally from a tear. Our bodies are changing so much its hard to keep up with them. Glad you had some good news too.

Mrsmaddyd so lovely to hear from you, so pleased you're doing well. totally understand your worries, and i don't blame you at all for not getting your hopes up. Your scan will be great. all fine here, blooming nicely, and finally enjoying being preggers.

Boopert - come on keep smiling the sun has been out here in the midlands, think thats improved my mood, but we all get our low days, there will be high ones too.

Slink - Although it will be hard to be in the hospital, in some ways it could be much more reassuring to you, knowing that there are people there who can help if needed. you'll be in so much pain you won't care mate!
Too early to plan!! do you know how long you and I have left! no time at all, another week goes past tomorrow, where are they all going and from what you've said i think you're gonna beat me. I''m hoping to have a waterbirth in hospital, hope i get one, sounds really relaxing.

have done the loo paper test i'm 7 1/2 sheets.

Hello all couldnt really catch up with everything on thread as youve all been busy gassing anyhow, good luck to everyone. KK how are things with your sis? Just adding to the chocolate mania going on here im totally addicted to those peanut butter kitkats and can only find them in the od few shops!!!! So im eating creme eggs instead .

baby is kicking me at last

Ah sorry to gatecrash but can I just say that I am lurking and following your progress Arabica after your sadness last year.

Really pleased for you!

thursday is here already
good luck for your scan dhw:)
26 weeks for me
28 weeks for dids
anyone else counting from thursdays?

slink - you beat me to it, I was going to post a similar message, can't believe thursday is here already again, well done mate on making 26 weeks.

what on earth were you doing awake after 1am this morning.

arabica - excellent news, so glad baby s kicking you harder now

Hiya all
Me me me me!!! I'm counting Thursdays too!!

14wks today

how's everyone?

I am counting Thursdays too. 33 weeks today.

I am feeling fine apart incesant heartburn. I have started taking Zantac, it helps a lot and am able to get a decent night sleep. Have to top it up with Renies though.

Have had a lazy week, DS has been sick (some virus) high temps etc. SO have been stuck at home, have had to cancel Yoga tonight too as DS has paedatrician appointment.SO am going a bit stir crazy, must get out this morning. DS seems to be OK in the morning it is the afternoon seem the temperature peaks.