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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread- Part 2

1402 replies

cori · 13/02/2006 09:37

A new thread for us all to share our mutual anxieties, hopes and fears.

OP posts:
slinkstah · 02/03/2006 12:58

hk- i got periody type pains in one side when i was 11 - 15 weeks, at my scan i asked them to scan that side and tell me what was wrong but they said everything looked normal so i guess it was just stretching.
you might have to spend alot of pg resting too if this spd gets any worse. you can be my bedrest buddie:)

KK- has this baby got more chance of having a heart murmour? its great you have a break, you should pamper yourself and go out with friends:)

missmibaby- good luck for your scan, i went through almost 10 tests before i beleived i was pg, i had no real symptoms til i was 10 weeks.
i bought loads in bulk from ebay, i have a few left they have come in useful though as have a friend who convinces herself she is pg every month even though she has IUD in [confused emotion] I have told her to whip it out and join me so we can be mumsy together!
she is 38 and thinks she has all the time in the world- after watching that baby race prog on tv the other day i am panicing myself i won't have time to have all the babies i want before menopause!

anyway i had pressure down below yesterday and a few contractions, i am contraction counting today as i see drs tommorrow. i am soooooooooooooooo pleased that i have made the milestone of 24 weeks! i woke up and it was the first thing i thought about. baby now has a birth certificate and will be classed by the world as a baby not a fetus:)

Snips · 02/03/2006 13:27

Slink--big congrats on 24weeks-a milestone. Take it easy.

kreamkrackers · 02/03/2006 13:32

i don't know whether the baby has more chance of having a heart murmour. this was the only indication that something might be wrong with dd, it was spotted when she was a few hours old and was still there the next day. it breaks my heart thinking about it. she was a lovely colour, looked so healthy, just a bit tired but we were told this was because of the diamorphine. we were told most heart murmours are innocent and not to worry.

we took her home and she started fading at home, we had an angelcare monitor and the alarm went off. dd was making gasping noises, stopped breast feeding, was extremely tired and started to go cold. we called the midwife who called an ambulance. we went to our nearest hospital. we almost lost her there as they didn't listen to us and left us for almost 4 hours, they didn't believe our dd was ill, they though we were over reacting. finally when the paediatrician seen her he rushed us out the room, a team of doctors came in. we were told it was touch and go and we're lucky the paediatrician looked at her when he did. why didn't they believe me when i was crying saying i think my baby is dying :(

she was transfered to alderhey, she was in multiple organ failure at this point as her body was shuting down. it's so hard to write this, i wrote about it a few weeks back but it breaks my heart. we got her christened at 9 days, just before the operation. at two weeks old she had a unique operation that stopped her needing a heart transplant. she is doing so well and i love alder hey for the miracle they performed.

although there is very little chance of this repeating i am still scared with the thought of this baby having a heart murmour. at least this time i know what to do in an emergency and i can make the doctors listen. i wish that the law could change and every baby that has a heart murmour gets a scan before going home and parents are warned about the signs to look out for in an emergency.

sorry i've gone off the subject of mc a bit, although i had an early mc which has really upset me this is also something that really upsets me and i'm terrified of something going wrong again once the baby's here.

also thought i would mention every baby is born with a duct, dd's blood was bypassing the aotra (the artery that caries the blood out of the heart to the rest of the body) through a large hole between the top two chambers and went through this duct. the duct closes soon after birth and this is when dd started to become ill. this is why she looked so healthy at birth. there are other problems with her heart but this is theproblem that caused her to go ill at 3 days old and not as soon as the cord was cut..

slinkstah · 02/03/2006 13:58

what a terrifying experience! Its understandable that you will be worried when this llittle one is born although now you know the signs to look for and will be able to ask for a paeditritian to check baby out before you go home this time.

I feel the same frustration, as i rang and went to hospital asking them to check me over as i was all of a sudden feeling - regular-ish contractions, out of breath, watery discharge, slight fever etc. they were so incompetent to not reconise these symptoms of preterm labour and sent me away as my urine and bp were fine! this was only 8 days before baby was born!
i can't stop thinking that if they listened to me and examined me or even checked blood like i asked, they would have been able to stop the labour and infection before it had completely took hold and my baby would be alive. i actually feel like going to see that senior midwife who i complained my list of symptoms to originally and punch her right out!:(

i am peace loving hippy reallyBlush

kreamkrackers · 02/03/2006 14:28

i feel exactly the same. there was a nurse in aau or aae (the ward next to a and e) and she was laughing outside the cubicle saying i was a young mum who just didn't know how to bf my dd :( i want to punch her lights out for not listening, i was crying to her saying my dd was dying and she just gave me a hug and told me i need to have some sleep. she checked how i was positioning dd and agreed i was doing it correctly.

the point which hurt the most was going back into the room where we were made to leave and seeing dd hooked up to all the machines. the image haunts me. it's so hard talking to anybody in rl about it, i understand that dp is too hurt to talk about it but non of my family do. also since dd was ill i think my friends have decided to no longer be my friend. it hurts so much. i have a friend who leaves in a nearby town who i met in alder hey, her ds is the same age as dd and has digeorge syndrome. she is a brilliant friend who understands me but it's hard as she lives a bit too far for us to see one another as much as we'd like to.

i tried councilling but i can't talk to a stranger in rl about the things that went on with dd. i'm desperate to have a baby that doesn't have all medical needs, although i will cope if this is the case.

going4potty · 02/03/2006 16:24

Hi all, slink and kk i am so sad to read about your experiences in hospital, as an health professional it makes me furious to know how youve been treated. I only hope that you are both ok and that your babies are nice and healthy. Nikki hope your feeling okish and that you get some well deserved r and r

HellKat · 02/03/2006 16:52

Slink- congrats on 24 wks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahoooooo. Wonderful news...... my bedrest bud! Wink. OOeerrr sounds rather perverse!!! Grin As for that mw, I'm by nature little miss hug-a-tree-peace-loving-flower-power-dodgy-alternative-looking weirdo lol and I'd be tempted. Lets just hope that's there's part of her that remembers what she did and she feels badly enough to make sure it never happens to anyone else.
KK- {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}} you'll have to rely on instinct hun. Everything will be ok.
Miss- I'm 12 weeks tomorrow. Wahoooooooo. Good luck with your scan. x
G4p- Great to see you hunny! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FirstNikki · 02/03/2006 17:27

Congratulations Slink on your 24 Weeks take it easy x

slinkstah · 02/03/2006 19:03

kk-- i know what you mean i find it difficult to talk about the whole thing IRL. thats why i love mumsnet:) maybe you should try talking to your family about it again.
HK- perverted minded fellow tree hugging hippy you!!Grin

on the perverse subject and since this is not RL now i have a stitch i reckon it means no orgasms:( am already not having full blown ahemm, but the thought of no orgasm for 16 weeks arghhhhhh the frustration!
if i pluck up enough courage i will ask the dr about it tommorrowBlush

Snips · 02/03/2006 21:15

Slink-I was told no orgasms :( I'm afraid. Also I was told no swimming, baths etc due to risk of infection. Ask your consultant to confirm but thought I'd spoil your day Wink.

HellKat · 03/03/2006 06:12

Slink! Oh no Shock How the bugger will you cope chick? Wink Definitely ask to make sure. Wish I could be a fly on the wall though to watch you ask Grin.
How's everyone today?
Got a heartbeat check at 10am today and hopefully I'll hear the little train!

Grin12 wksGrin

kreamkrackers · 03/03/2006 09:05

slink - i'd be more upset if i wasn't allowed to have baths. i loved having my baths later on in pregnancy and watching the bump move about.

hk - i'm sure everything will be fine today. 12 weeks yipee!

missmibaby - good luck with the scan today. i was the same did a few more tests to watch the lines come up but once you see baby it does stop, well it did for me!

petunia · 03/03/2006 10:42

Morning all,
Glad to see everyone's hanging in there.
I've had a bit of a week. Had a bad stomach upset on Tuesday, baby was lying in a funny position yesterday so had pain all down my left leg and then I was wide awake from 1.30-4.00 this morning.
Think I'm in that bit of pregnancy where everything seems to ache or hurt. Oh well, only another 8wks to go!

slinkstah · 03/03/2006 12:00

HELLKAT CONGRATULATIONS on getting to 12 weeks:)

It's true!! i asked the dr (was so embarresing) anyway she said NO penitrative and stay away from orgasms for now:(
my libido is likley to dissapear after the birth too!
she was fine with me bathing though:) good job as i don't have a shower.
Anyway my scan showed cervix was 3cm:):):) i saw the prof and she was impressed that i had made it to today and i was called in straight away(jumping the queue)
i think she was very pleased of her handy work.

i finally have a diagnosis for an incompetent cervix, a bit weird as no one seems to know how or why it was caused as i have had 2 kids at term before with no prob. It is nice to know the reason finally for losing my last baby- it got a bit annoying with people saying oh its just one of those things etc as i didn't believe it was.

petunia- wow 8 weeks to go you must be excited, have you got everything ready?

Arabica · 03/03/2006 12:39

Well done HellKat! Hope you can relax a little. Although I'm not exactly Ms LaidBack either--I am 18+2 now, next scan 2 weeks today. Feeling occasional movement but nothing so far today. Trying not to think about it.
Slinkstah, am so pleased your appt went well. Petunia, hope you feel more comfortable as the day progresses.

cori · 03/03/2006 12:50

Hello everyone.
Glad to see all is well slinstah.

I am now 31 weeks, feeling movements all time, its starting to get annoying Grin
Went to my first pregnacy yoga class last night. It was lovely and relaxing. Will do some ante natal aqua aerobics next week as well.

Also my last day at work today, Yippee. Maternity leave starts in three weeks but am taking A/L up til then. It has been a long hard year but the end is finally in sight.

OP posts:
petunia · 03/03/2006 14:12

Slinkstah- glad that stitch is doing its job. I'm gradually getting things ready. Washed out loads of baby clothes but haven't washed out any bedding yet. I'll have to get DH to get the car seat and carry cot down from the loft soon as well.

kayzed · 03/03/2006 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HellKat · 03/03/2006 16:06

It was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She did'nt have to search for ages to find the heartbeat, it was right there and loud & clear! My tum measures 12 wks exactly. She did make a comment on how big my bump is and lanky my legs looked coming our under it lol.
From now on positive thinking all the way! I'm sooooooo chuffedd today GrinGrinGrinGrin
Pet- Wow!!!!! 8 weeks!!!!!!!!!That's flown by!
Slink- Wonderful news about your cervix hun, not so incompitent now eh? Wink. Shame about the orgasm though. Wonder who'll be attcking her dp in a few months GrinWink

petunia · 03/03/2006 17:01

Hellkat- how wonderful for you to hear the heartbeat. Isn't that quite early to hear a h/b? Did she use a normal Doppler?

HellKat · 03/03/2006 17:03

Yep. Normal little dopplar! Grin
But this little babba's amazed me so much already. I first heard the heartbeat at 7 wks (through a scan though).

Grin

Can you tell I'm finally letting myself get excited!

petunia · 03/03/2006 18:05

No Hellkat, I can't tell you're excited really! Grin Grin Grin
You've not had any bleeding for a while, have you?

cori · 03/03/2006 20:15

Well, No more work for me. Maternity leave has offically started. Now to get the house in order.
Petunia, the count down has started now.

Hellkat, thats great news about hearing HB so early on.

OP posts:
HellKat · 04/03/2006 08:11

Morning all.

Grin Still doing Cheshire cat impressions lol.

Pet- Have'nt had a bleed in nearly 5 wks! Been told though if I do, even the tinyest amount of spotting I have to get my anti-d jab.

How's everyone this gorgeous morning?

petunia · 04/03/2006 12:04

Hellkat- that's excellent that you haven't had any bleeding for few weeks. I've just dragged myself in to Leicester to buy a new changing mat and a few other things. Only been in for 2 1/2 hrs but I'm pooped now! Think I'll spend the rest of the day, feet up on the sofa!

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