Best indirect (or direct!) preggers insults? Share them here!

[LordyLady]

Today so far:

"You're a big girl, aren't you?"
"Yes well I'm 7 months pregnant"
"Yes, but you're a big girl, aren't you?"

I've put on the right amount of weight ACTUALLY and I'm a size 12/ 14 when not pregnant ACTUALLY, and anyway why are you saying this to me?!!

Pregnant = open season on our poor, ballooning bodies it would seem!

I had a neighbour tell me I could draw a crowd bigger than the bearded lady at the circus

Wearing a bright pink top at 8mths pregnant a 'friend' walked up to me laughing 'oh my god you look just like Mr Greedy!'

Bitch!

It wasn't an insult per say but a male colleague at work when I was pg with DD stared in awe at the size of my bump and said

"that's a comedy bump that, it's so big it almost doesn't look real"

To be fair, the bump was massive and it was genuine awe on his part. The rest of me stayed normal sized (12) but the bump was mahoosive.

One of the mose embarrassing was my male colleague - "Yep I thought you were pregnant because you are... well, your ummmm.... your chest is looking really massive".

Yesterday a work colleague said "you look pregnant in the face now - not saying you are fat - but its gone to your face."

im 7 months - neat bump but a fat face!!

"I though pregnant ladies were supposed to bloom?"

:o :o :o nicknacks I actually lolled at that! (sorry!)

"Did you say you are only 7 weeks? Because you look like you've got a bump already!"

Er, no, that would be cake.

I've had loads and I'm still shocked that people who I've known for years and who would never normally comment about my appearance think its perfectly ok to comment on me now I'm pregnant, comments range from 'shame the hormones have given you some spots' 'that's got to be an elephant in there' ummm no I'm just six and a half months pregnant and my all time favourite 'awful isn't it when all the weight goes to your thighs!!!'

I get -
How many have you got in there
Oi fatty.
you are the size of a small planet.
You will need a section for that one if it keeps growing.
And every day - oh look you've grown again.
Xx

Oops kisses! I was distracted by the kids and forgot what i was doing.

Sorry KittyKitCat, but that made me laugh. Mainly because of the bloody cheek.

Shouted across the open plan office -"Gosh Kate, you're MASSIVE"...nearly every morning...

Aww zzzz what a bitch.

If anyone said Are you 'preggers'? I think I would probably vomit, it's up there with bun in the oven and up the duff. It's pregnant, having a baby or expecting. ffs

Preggers, Maccy ds, sarnie can all fuck the fuck off.

not so much of an insult but totally inappropriate - work colleague said yesterday in open plan office on a floor I don't even work on

'blimey your tits are massive, here look at winos tits - they're massive'

how on earth is that a reasonable thing to say at work?!?!

pair of tossers!

A friend said to me 'Oh my God, your tits look like those ridiculous plastic comedy breasts!' Erm, thanks.

'Oh my God Puffykins your tits are HUGE! Are you pregnant or something?' asked a male colleague, across five desks. I was eight weeks. I guess it was one way for the office to find out. Second pregnancy: 'you're pregnant again - great! Will you get as big as last time, do you think?' asked by gay best friend. Disclaimer: I'm a size 10, and put on the normal recommended amount of weight.....

Well, it's not funny, but I taught in a French school (11 to 15-year-olds) in a very "difficult" area when I was about 5 months pregnant with my first. I was put on sick leave because some pupils would try to push me in the stairs so that I would "lose the little pig" (because I'm white, i.e. not Muslim, i.e. a "disgusting pig-eater").

Not really an insult because meant in good spirit but literally just got a text off my auntie saying "Congratulations YOU FOOL " lol she has got four teenagers now though.

had just anounced my pregnancy at work,,,,

long silence

"BUT AREN'T YOU SINGLE"

longer silence

"well urmmm, yes but I managed to get a shag "

then lots of

oh lovely congrats

My sister and I were very alike when in our 20's.

When I was 8 months pregnant, a colleague of my sister's went up to her in a nightclub and said "Oh you must be OnTheBottom, your sister told me you were expecting, congratulations!"

My sister "I am NOT OnTheBottom, I am NOT pregnant, and you work with me you drunken fool!"

festi love your reply!!

From a colleague who followed me along a corridor at work when I was 5 months pregnant:

"you can really tell you're pregnant from behind now, can't you?" !!!