Best indirect (or direct!) preggers insults? Share them here!

[LordyLady]

Today so far:

"You're a big girl, aren't you?"
"Yes well I'm 7 months pregnant"
"Yes, but you're a big girl, aren't you?"

I've put on the right amount of weight ACTUALLY and I'm a size 12/ 14 when not pregnant ACTUALLY, and anyway why are you saying this to me?!!

Pregnant = open season on our poor, ballooning bodies it would seem!

There is nothing wrong with " what a lovely bump" etc but "look at how absolutely huge you are now" is rude. Beige pregnant doesn't give people a right to say what they like about your size

hecate your mum sounds like a total star does she do lessons? :o

twizzle I think with people like that you have to assume they're having trouble ttc and let it go and move on :)

Mc. Oh yes. Watch her eat and you'll get a huge one

At least you guys WERE pregnant! I once had a woman come up to me and ask when it was due.

I said "I'm not pregnant, I'm just really fat."

I think I might be a little bit in love with Hecate's mother, and I could have done with her back-up when my worst preggers insult occurred. I was at a big meeting at work with about thirty academics, most of whom I didn't know well and many of whom hadn't known I was pregnant. There was a little bit of conversation about how well I looked and how nice it is to have a baby. The suddenly one of the other senior admin staff (male) said, in one of those loud voices that coincide with the room going quiet, "who, exactly, is the father?"

"You're pregnant?! I thought you were just still fat from the last one"

yes. She's, erm, unique.

This is the woman who, among other things, used to leapfrog over the dustbin on her way back from pegging out the washing, who took us for picnics in the local cemetery, who had waterfights in the street with my dad, who chased a council workman into his van - where he locked himself in (long story!)

Oh, and whose idea of a bedtime story was to sing us a song about trolls and finish by backing out of the room singing "I'm a big bad troll and I'm mean, I don't mean maybe, I'm a big bad troll and I'm meeeeeeeean"

It's a wonder I'm as normal as I am...

oh blue and daisy - I forgot to say - bloody HELL that was rude! what on earth did you say?

It was from the woman in the local paper shop, who has a reputation for being extremely rude. I think I just gaped at her and stumbled out with my Bounty bar It didn't upset me, I was just incredibly impressed that somebody could be so rude without even needing to think about it

poise I wasn't slim pre pregnancy so I certainly don't look it now!

However if my friend put on say 3 stone I wouldn't they next time I saw her say 'fuck me love, keep off the cake eh?

I am a size 16 with a G cup boob pre pregnancy and have gained 12 pounds at 25 weeks. I went on hols a few weeks ago and it is the first time I have actually been comfortable in my bikini - it was amazing - for the first time I felt relaxed and that I didn't have to suck my tum in - I felt pregnant and not concerned at all about my body shape.

I am loving being pregnant and the changes that are happening to my body, I love my bump, am not fat and don't give a crap generally about what other peoples opinions are.

I do however appreciate a thread on here to have a laugh/moan about people making negative comments without thinking and I don't think that is weird at all?

I certainly do not appreciate being told by two work colleagues that my tits are now massive - something they wouldn't have dreamt of saying to me if I were not pregnant.

Now, someone pass the cake FFS...

From a work colleague, who was about a month less pregnant than me: "Oh I was feeling really huge and fat and pregnant this morning, but then I saw you".

p.s hecate I have a family wedding tomorrow, please can I borrow your mother as my +1?

A memorable one from a few weeks ago...

"How far along are you now?"
"17 weeks"
"Bloody hell you're going to be massive aren't you?"

I said to my dad when pg that i was glad so far to be pretty much the same weight just with a bump to which he responded "well maybe you were eating for two before?"

I'm with Posie. I got a lot of comments with DS2- "Are you sure it's not twins?" "You're massive!" "Your tits are huge!" I never took them as being offensive.
It was offensive when the woman in the queue at Matalan asked when I was due and I wasn't.

Hecate, after I got my breath back, I gave him my filthiest look and said in my frostiest voice, "my partner, of course". But I didn't speak to him for a year. When he finally asked why I wasn't speaking to him, I told him, and he was so horrified that he sent me a card to apologise. Weird .... he hadn't realised the implications of what he'd said.

I have mobility problems and use elbow crutches day to day but when pg I use a power chair. I lost count of the number of 'hilarious' passers by and good friends who suggested I should get "one of those wide load stickers" to put on the back of my chair. My DH is the least violent person ever but had to fight the urge to punch folk on my behalf. sometimes I accidentally ran over toes or bashed into shins

DF said just last week when I walked through the door 'and your SIL is still only tiny!' (she's due 3 weeks after me). Thanks dad.

DH thinks he's really funny and does the 'beep,beep,beep' vehicle reversing thing to me regularly.

At work, a patient said (in a very depressed voice) - "Oh, so I see there's a happy occasion coming up"
I replied "Yes, in June"
His response was "Well, what does your husband think?"

I was v tempted to retort that it wasn't my DH's so was none of his business, but bit my tongue. I had to spend another half hour conducting the gentleman's eye examination, so thought I'd better be cordial!

impatient. I think there may very well be a market for her.

How can someone not realise, blue? Honestly, some people are dense, aren't they?

My sister and I were due very close together, she's single, I'm not. We had several people (completely independently and seriously) ask if my DP was the father of her baby too!!!
In what kind of crazy messed up world would anyone think that would be the case?!

A recently engaged pregnant cousin saying ' god, we'll get married when I've had the baby, don't want to be massively fat when I walk down the isle' (I'd recently got married when 6 months pg)
Bloke at work was asked to sign my mat leave leaving card and saying he didn't know I was pg, just thought I'd put on weight! (I was 33 weeks)

'well, none of us are getting any younger are we'

what the fuck!

My grandma...
'So-and-so's due 2 weeks before you and she's nowhere near as big!'
Every time I see her she manages to throw in a comment about women who didn't look pregnant until they were 8 months gone and managed to waterski to the delivery room or something
I'm not even that big!

Oh and a friend who I (luckily) love who greets me delightedly with 'HELLO FATTY!' whenever we meet.

...or aeroplanes, whales, elephants, the moon or other planetary objects.

A pregnant body is going to change shape Posie, don't think any of us are griping about that but we don't really need it pointing out to us in a less than polite manner, that's all. However it IS funny and this thread has made me hoot

Another 'your tits are massive'; it was in a meeting (all women but still )

I felt shoite and was feeling really uncomfortable at 7 months. Why do people think it is ok to comment on your size. One colleague was like a bad new fairy- 'har har you are going to get much bigger', 'no point in worrying about lack of sleep; you won't get any soon', 'OMG I can't believe you are coming back to work, you have had it'. Nutter