Best indirect (or direct!) preggers insults? Share them here!

[LordyLady]

Today so far:

"You're a big girl, aren't you?"
"Yes well I'm 7 months pregnant"
"Yes, but you're a big girl, aren't you?"

I've put on the right amount of weight ACTUALLY and I'm a size 12/ 14 when not pregnant ACTUALLY, and anyway why are you saying this to me?!!

Pregnant = open season on our poor, ballooning bodies it would seem!

Would people say 'OMG an appendectomy, I had 32 stitches and was in so much pain'.

My DP just keeps saying over and over again - you're massive! I'm only 24wks, and none of my statistics have changed except I look like I've swallowed a football and my boobs are a bit bigger..

He said last night 'your belly is massive', so I said 'you're belly is massive, too' at which point he told me not to be mean...!!!!!

On the flip-side, a colleague said to me (when I told her I was 24wks pregnant) that she'd noticed I'd changed shape and did wonder.. now, that's much more polite isn't it? :)

Met an old school friend at a restaurant and we did the "How are you, are you married, kids etc?" "Yes two girls" I replied, to which he patted my stomach and said "...and another on the way?"....he regretted those words before they even left his mouth!

I saw some of my old friends for the first time in ages, they hadn't seen me since finding out I was pregnant. I'd bought a new maternity top that (I thought) really showed off my bump, and I'd made a masive effort with my hair and make up. Unfortunately, the minute I walked through the door, one of them shouted, "my God, look at the size of your mammaries, they're much bigger than your bump, infact you hardly notice your bump because your boobs are so ridiculous!!!" to which the rest of them agreed amid peals of laughter.

I walked there feeling great but left feeling like a freaky-titted blob of disgust. Got to love your friends, hey!

I was a size 6 pre-pregnancy, at 33 weeks I've put on a stone and gone to a size 8. My MIL told my DH today that I'm looking 'enormous'.

"Are you having twins?"

I wasn't.

Oh posie it's not that I want to be told I'm slim when quite clearly I've put on 3 stone, I'd just rather someone said "you look lovely" or "what a neat bump". Considering we're all supposed to be 'blooming' during pregnancy, and the fact that we're full of stupid hormones and raging emotions, you'd think people would think before they open their mouths.

I do love my OH even more for not mentioning ONCE during the last 8 months anything to do with my weight or figure. And kissing my stretchmarks.

I was told by my SIL that I didn't have much of a bump but that I'd become, "broad in the beam". I could have wept.

My mum keeps telling me I probably won't show for ages because I'm so broad across the hips!

I'm a size 12 and 16 weeks and have a little bump I love. I'm still impatient for it to be bigger though!

Colleague upon hearing I was expecting a baby:

'Ah, I wondered if you were pregnant or just got fat...again' (final part said under her breath). Nice.

Went ot visit MIL in nujrsing home and went into communal room to find her when a slightly batty old lady bless her shouted very loudly 'fat woman coming in' she then noticed I was pregnant and said 'nope not fat just pregnant my what a whopper!'. Best of it was when talking to MIL who has Alzheimers she asked me if I wanted another baby - I pointed down at my then 35 week pregnant belly and said 'maybe in a few weeks' bless perception was never her thing when compos mentis but is now non exsistent. On the other hand she is over the moon on hearing I am pregnant every week. It is nice to make someone happy every time you see them.

Another corker today. A woman who had asked me at 10 week whether I was pregnant, but to whom I said no, shouted across the office today: "See! I knew you were pregnant! You'd whacked so much of meat on". Whacked meat on. Lovely.

What's wrong with a simple "congratulations", or even "I thought I could spot a bump!". Why are so many of the comments so negative and weight related?

Frankie & Benny's with stbx-pils (i know, but it's exotic to them )

Waitress brings over my calzone. Mil does sharp intake of breath face, and says to the waitress in hushed tones of shame "she's eating for two".

It was a bloody calzone not a man v food challenge ffs. Passive aggressive cow

I wouldn't mind but I'd lost 2 stone in the first 20 weeks with hg!