Hello everyone. Big hugs to those going cuckoo and crying like a puff 
Squidkid, my love, I am being very selfish here (to the point of Schadenfreude) as I have been secretly hoping that your bionic and fun-filled, sunshine existence would come crashing down and you would wake up some day soon covered in bubbling postules and unable to fit into your skinny jeans. On top of that, your boyfriend would no longer be able to 'get it up'. See? I have a propensity for pure evil. On a serious note, darling, you are a thoroughly good egg in my book and I send you these in the hope that you will take all the fantastic advice you've been offered on here and be very, very kind to yourself.
Sumsey, what can I say?? You're coming out of the darkness and into the light, and your lovely family are pulling you through. Can't wait to have you back for good (Take That, circa 1995).
May I express a little more upset if I promise not to raise this issue again? Thanks. This morning I went on the other thread to see if there were any responses to my apology. Oh dear. It was as if I hadn't apologised at all. Women who hadn't even been involved in the original posts were coming on saying the following: "I can't help feeling you're simply looking for trouble"; "Are you a troll?"; "If I was X I wouldn't have accepted your apology, this forum is for support and comfort and not your advice"; and "If you can't play nicely, fuck off out of the sand-pit!" All of the above comments were made AFTER my lengthy and heartfelt apology which included a really frank description of how alien these hormones were making me. I didn't waffle and I didn't make excuses; I even said I didn't expect my apology to assuage some of their indignance etc.
Anyway, one of the ladies (the lady to whom my apology was mainly directed) thanked another for her support and (regarding the recent brouhaha) said: "There is more to this story than meets the eye!!!!" [Quote unquote]. I now know that this lady has found me on here (I mentioned only last week to them that I was on the 'Due in October' thread) and is reading what I say to you guys. This doesn't worry me per se as I haven't departed from the truth whatsoever, however it does leave me with a creepy feeling that I'm being watched - especially as my apology has been met with nothing but more ungraciousness and venom. I know, I know...I should not have visited that thread after my apology. I haven't made further comment and will not. Ever. I just felt more fed up and wounded than before I'd made my apology, until.......
.......two of my dearest friends turned up at Mum's to take me out for lunch. These two darlings I met at a church I used to go to until I left Preston to go into rehab. They are both called Jean (I call them 'my favourite pair of Jeans') and they are 69 & 64 yrs old. We went to a restaurent for lunch and I literally sat back and drank in their spiritual beauty and wisdom. I didn't tell them about 'the debacle' on the other thread; we simply talked about the Lord Jesus, forgiveness, beating ourselves up, forgetting we are loved, real love, sex, sacrifice, oh....and babies. Well, dear readers, I came home feeling like I was floating on air; humbled and thankful and warm inside. I felt my soul had been soothed with a magic balm.
I am so sorry I've written such a huge post but you've all sent me such positive vibes and kind words that I thought I owed it to you to let you know that it is true that love will set us free.....and we must seek out those who will remind us to be kind to ourselves. For me, that includes all you very real and lovely girls on here. Thank you 