What's the stupidest advice/comments you have received about pregnancy or childrearing

[Garliccheesechips]

Sorry if this has been done lots of times before (had a search to no avail) but I'm wondering if anyone had encountered jaw-droppingly ridiculous advice from medics/family/friends/colleagues etc when they were up the duff?

A (slightly batty and worryingly skinny) colleague told me that throwing up was a great way to lose the baby weight postpartum so long as you don't 'rely on it too much'.

I've had many wonderful anecdotes given to me whilst expecting DS and afterwards:

1. MIL said near the end of the pregnancy drink lots of milk with melted butter in it as it will coat the baby and the baby will slip out. (Needless to say, I didn't do this ofcourse, but ended up in labour for 33 hours and emergency c-section, much to MIL's delight who then went on to say 'I told you so!'...bear in mind her three were all c-sections too)

1. Don't lift your baby up when he's crying he'll get into a bad habit. (This was said to me in hospital when DS was 3 days old)

1. Don't cross a river when you are pregnant, or a sea.

1. If you drink milk when you are pregnant your baby will look whiter, (because genes have nothing to do with the skin tone of your baby and Indian families have this thing for fairer skinned babies)

1. If you sleep on your right then the baby's sex will change. (Again, the XY or XX chromosomes fused together at conception have nothing to do with anything)

Indian families are full of wonderful stories like these!

(also I wasn't meant to wash my hair through the whole pregnancy and if I had a son then I wasn't meant to wash my hair until he was 1 and a half years old. HA!)

Oh yes, just like to add, I was told that I would kill my baby if I fed him milk from a cup my night duty mid wife.

I had just had an emergency c-section after 33 hours labour, no sleep, I was crying, DS was crying and my nipples were raw. Thanks bitch.

by*

to toilet train bubba at 6 weeks.

Stupid advice while pregnant = "don't have any scans,the baby won't like it"
Stupid advice after baby born = "you should come out and get pissed with me"(from another new mum)

in pregnancy - dont eat prawns.
after - that colic is about tiny little wind bubbles in the intestine and that infacol is the way forward (which it would be if the bubbles thing was true but it isnt) from HV. We read up on colic and helped our baby deal with her over stimulation issue and her colic symptoms vanished over night (though ithat may have been a coincidence).
.

DS was due on 26th December and so many people when told what his due date responded with 'Oh, what a shame. So close to Christmas.'

If it was good enough for Jesus.............

I had the opposite - DO drink alcohol, it won't make any difference; DO eat peanuts, it won't make any difference, what are you not drinking coffee for, it won't make any difference ...
I stuck to my guns but child still is poorly. Glad I did though, I am blameless.

My favourite from my consultant at 12 weeks pregnant appointment - "I would prefer it if you gave up work, I prefer all my ladies over 35 to give up work when they get pregnant" - oh I will just stop paying the mortgage then (I have an office based job, its not like I'm a skydiving instructor or anything).

My favourite when DD was four weeks old and miraculously sleeping from 11 to 5.30 each night my HV said "she must be stupid, clever babies don't sleep through"

I would have said 'surely that means he is exceptionally bright. He read the baby sleep manuals all by himself'

"Do you think your child has club foot because you didn't eat dairy when you were pregnant?"

delighted by that one

Cairnterrier my ds was rn the 26th December premature at 28 weeks I got oh what a pity from just about everyone grrrr we kinda had more important things to Worry about!

lambzig

My aunt (unmarried, no DC) suggested that DP and I should get married because stats showed that married people make better parents.... wtf??

I was told that if you get a tattoo when pregnant, the baby gets a birthmark.

I was told that I was so luck I could take time off due to morning sickness as most people just have to get on with it. This was while I was hooked up to a drip getting emergency rehydration.

I've had the christening one from my mam too....I had a civil ceremnoy for my wedding and I'm not religious and I'm quite critical of the catholic church but still she says 'what do you mean you aren't having him christened? when you see him after he is born you'll realise you love him enough to do it, you couldn't not christen a baby thats just not right'...I ask you?

pam some pals of mine had almost daily phone calls from their parents begging them to christen their baby as they couldnt cope with the thought of the poor tot going to hell.

My pals were staunch atheists but did in the end give in simply due to the distress it was causing people they cared about.

They have been feeling slightly guilty about the hypocrisy ever since.

These are hilarious! Or at least the ones not from GPs and HVs are.

My MIL's friend told me I was spoiling my baby (who was about three weeks old at the time) by feeding him at night. She suggested giving him a bottle of water for a week, then leaving him to cry. Apparently she'd done it with all four of her children. She was sorry, though, when I burst into tears at the idea of her poor hungry babies.

I've also had the fizzy pop one making my milk fizzy and this was why my DS has got hiccups. This was from my MIL who's a nurse! :)

I had the tickling feet one from my Gran as well - she thought it caused colic. Not entirely sure why!

The best was from a GP though 'I don't believe in PND, I think some women just don't realise how hard it is to have a baby'. Hmm, that helped. Second GP was brilliant.

On the infacol thing - I do seem to remember that it is supposed to join up all the bubbles to make it easier for the wind to move (was never really sure how that was supposed to work), but would say it does sometimes work. Useless for our first, but proved to be brilliant for our second.

I was told by my MIL not to cuddle my baby too much or she'll get spoilt. Grrrrrrrrr.

beckyboo232 it's great having a DC's birthday at Christmas :) For me DS's birthday is now associated with being snuggly and warm at home with twinkling lights outside. Oh and you can put up lots of Happy Birthday banners and have your neighbours think you're celebrating Jesus!

Only draw back so far - at the Christingle service, DS thought that all the Christingles were birthday cakes so was trying to blow them all out :)

Some but also some advice on here!

MIL came out with a few gems, including "babies don't get any teeth until you stop breastfeeding them" and "you lose a tooth for every child (ie. during pregnancy).

An old lady stopped me in the street to tell me baby DD had lovely skin and I should make sure I put moisturizer on her every day .

By far the most comment was from my mw, who reckoned DD was breech because I'd had a lot of ultrasound scans during my pregnancy and "she would have felt like she was being watched".