buying my own baby clothes... what do you think?

[kiki22]

Just had a huge row with my mum over baby clothes! would like to know everyones thoughts on it. (fall out with mum alot very close all female family so bound to happen)

So my mum and gran have told me not to buy any baby clothes as it is a waste of money because i will get tons bought for me as pressies once baby is here. I agree between my family and DP huge family we will no doubt be given enough clothes for buba BUT i want to buy my baby some friggin clothes! I want to pick somethings i like for him i know everyone is going to go for the cute baby blue things that will no doubt will all look the same and very nice but my personal style is a bit diff from the traditional baby clothes. Everything i've said i like to any female in the family is met with no u don't want to go to darker colours no thats not very babyish MIL nearly fainted when i showed her mothercares BabyK range.

So as a result i've decided to buy some things of my own but mum says i'd be as well burning my money it's such a waste!!! Is it really so strange to want to buy somethings for my first child myself?

(mum gran sister MIL were all single mothers with very little or no help from there childrens fathers so they all had to make do and think i should do the same but i can afford to buy what i want within reason)

I think you are both right to be honest. SIL keeps telling me the same.

My mum has gone mad and bought out practically all of next, matalan, asda baby ranges honestly the under cot bed drawer is full of clothes and our neighbours have given us a box of stuff their LO has grown out of so the wardrobe is full too. HOWEVER i have also bought some bits i like in 3-6 months or bigger for him to grow into as all the gifts we have had so far have been newborn and 0-3 so i know he will need the bigger sizes and i will be the ones buying them.

At the end of the day buy what you want and yes probably be prepared for a few car boot sales in the future for all the unworn things.

Oh my! This is YOUR baby and you can dress him any way you like. Yes, i am sure you will be given clothes when baby is born but i am also sure that those who already have children will probably buy you clothes for the next season/age range and so there WILL be room for your newborn choices too.
If you can afford it, ENJOY!

Its your baby so only natural you want to put him in something you like. I would buy a few things (but not too many as they grow so fast) that you want. When/if given presents of clothes if your friends and family have been thoughtfull enough to leave the tags on you can easily take them back to the shops and exchange for either the same thing a the next size up (so that you can actually use it & not offend whoever gave it to you), or for something you like better.

This is your first baby and you can do what you want to do!!! I couldn't imagine not buying anything for my baby MYSELF! You are lucky if you have a large family / social circle that you know are going to pitch up and provide lots of gifts and hand me downs, (I haven't) so you could explain to your mum that you just want to splash out on a few special items not disregard or reject what is coming your way.

Just buy stuff and don't discuss it.

Yes, buy your own baby some clothes! You can do what you want with your own baby! That's the best thing about having children, bringing them up how you choose. Don't let other people take over your job or squeeze the fun out of having a baby of your own.

thanks feel better for talking to people who 'get' me :) good idea about the tags!

I do know i'll get a lot but woman in my family seem to think baby boys must wear a uniform dungarees with a baby blue tshirt to quote 'boys dont need a lot of clothes like girls do'

I'm thinking a dark blue snowsuit that goes with my pram (can't have dark blue for baby mum says) Grey jeans (babys can not wear grey MIL says) 2-3 cute slogan tshirts (he's a baby not a comedian that was gran) and a cream knitted cardi from mothercare (u'll need to get it in blue or people won't know he's a boy another gem from mum) don't think thats OTT at all

kiki22 - buy whatever you want - your baby, your money. Just don't tell them.

Think you need to be strong and take control of who is making decisions about this baby! It sounds as if you have a coven of females all moving in to dictate how YOU SHOULD be doing things ..... and it won't stop at baby clothes!! I know they will be well meaning and so on but at the end of the day it is your baby - make it clear that you are doing this YOUR way!! Good luck!!

I don't think there's any harm waiting until after the little one is born and you see what presents you get - he'll probably be in sleepsuits initially anyway. That would also give you a chance to see what type of clothes work - e.g. I was given a couple of tops for my baby daughter with big poppers down the back - useless for a baby lying on their back all day! Also it gives you a good excuse to get out and about post baby.

we are deff a coven! hehe I'm well know for telling them i don't care what they think so everyone very used to me giving it 'don't care if u don't like my new top i do' but since i've been signed off work haven't seen much of anyone apart from family so is nice to get reasurance from others that i'm not just being stuborn :)

Go for it Kiki!!! lol! :) I have made it very clear to friends and family that I AM NOT dressing my little girl in pink!!

I didn't actually think my mum could get any more bossy til i fell pregnant i should write a book on all the things my mum says you just can't do one of those ones ppl have in there bathrooms :)

Feel for you!! My mum passed away some years back and I am in an all male house and my gripe is the complete and utter lack of interest in anything to do with babies!! lol! I could tell them I am going to dress her in bin bags and it would raise an eyebrow!!!

.....and they call her 'it'!!!!!

You're both right. You will get given so many clothes that you won't need to buy any, but equally YANBU to want to dress your baby in clothes you actually like and to want to buy some things yourself.

I was going to say that YWBU because the Baby K range was hideous, but looking at it now the boys' stuff is much much nicer than it used to be, so YANBU all round.

Bear in mind you're not sure what size you'll need... DS was never small enough for newborn clothes and went straight into 0-3, then raced through the sizes, DD1 wore the large end of newborn for a couple of weeks then raced through the sizes, DD2 had to have "early baby" stuff for a month or so before moving into newborn, then went into 0-3 at slightly over three months, and is now nearly 8 months and still in 3-6 month clothes with plenty of room. I am getting much more wear out of everything this time round!

Buy what you want, don't discuss it with your family beforehand if you know they will disapprove.

On a practical note, it's well worth buying the basics anyway, you will be given lots of outfits but not many people buy packs of plain vests or babygrows as a gift and you will get through lots of those at first.

Your mum is right in that you will get bought loads, however its part of the joy of pregnancy being able to buy for your own baby. If your family want to buy things persuade them to put towards other stuff like a swing, bouncy chair, playmat etc.

I got bought loads for my dd but i used to get upset in my hormonal pfb days, used to say to dh i want to see her in things ive chosen!! Anything that had tv or disney characters on i never put on her. Everything else i either swapped for bigger size or made sure it was used at least once.

Definitely buy your own! You'll probably find that you get 'nice' outfits as presents (I had a boy and there's plenty of non-Blue obv. boy's stuff out there, green and brown are popular) but not enough practical stuff like babygrows. Or you'll get tons of 3-6 months byt no 9-12 months.

I can sympathise as my MIL used to buy tons of clothes for the garklet wiout checking what size he was (so frequently they would be the wrong season by the time he was big enough to wear them, such as snowsuits in June!) or indeed checking to see what he already had (famously he once ended up with 3 winter coats all inthe same size because I bought him one in the sales in advance and she'd bought him two, forgetting she's bough the first when she got the second. What pissed me off was she spent all this money on him on things he did not need or could not wear (I'm a great one for buying top quality second-hand clothes from eBay and NCT sales instead) and then wouldn't actually put any money in his savings.

Good luck!

Dylon is your friend. If they object to navy blue, you can point out, quite reasonably, that you need to cover all the poo stains!

I agree the practical stuff will probably not be bought. Plus they won't buy much beyond 3 months.

I relied on presents for going out outfits and bought the rest on ebay. Job lots for not very much, hardly worn.

Just wait till you have the baby kiki (re mum being bossy)! Now is probably a good time to start gently flexing your "I am an adult now and make my own decisions" muscles!

I went out and exchanged a lot of DD's clothes presents for the same thing but 9-12m months or 12-18 months instead of 0-3 etc so she still had the clothes but in a bigger size and they were more spaced out IYSWIM. Also agree no one bothers with the dull stuff, vests, sleepsuits etc.

I did the same as guillotinedmarylacy and exchanged nearly all the presents people bought DS because he had piles of stuff!
And trust me, I spent hours folding and arranging and re-arranging DS's drawers full of stuff he's got, now I don't care what it looks like, as long as it doesn't have sick on, it's fine.

I do understand about personal taste, me and DP are into music and are only 21, so everything we bought for our baby was beatles baby grows and cool little outfits so he'd ook all trendy. But to be honest, when I saw him, little white vests and babygrows just look soooo adorable on newborns. They're only that tiny for a few months (or weeks in DS's case!) and then they start to look like scary overgrown giant babies if you put them in babygrows so I'd make the most of him being a baby. I'm going to wait a few months now before I start dressing him like a mini DP :D

Thanks for the advice :)

I'm knee deep in tiny baby and newborn vests and sleep suits thanks to a friend a has a 10 pound baby 3 weeks ago and couldn't use any of them so has kindly passed on 2 bags full of them to me. I have enough 0-3 vests/ sleep suits bought and put away along with all the basics of socks hats scratch mits. I've actually only spent £150 on dresser for the baby and about £100 on basics thanks to DP family buying us most of our big things as it's the first grandchild, hand me downs from aunt/sisters kids so have been really lucky in that i now have some cash to splash on things i might not need but i want.

Just bought my navy snowsuit online ha take that mother! :)