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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

What not to say to a pregnant woman

105 replies

BrightonNim · 27/09/2011 11:43

No doubt this sort of thread has been done before but I'm 33 weeks pregnant with third DC and still amazed at what people feel they can say to you when you are expecting - some if it really quite rude and at times upsetting!

So - what are the worst things someone has said to you when pregnant? How about a top ten things of NOT to say...

e.g. last night 'if you're that size now imagine what you're going to be when the time comes...' (i'm really not that big, this was from a female neighbour who I know as a neighbour rather than a good friend).

Some ideas of cutting responses would also be great!

OP posts:
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MersyMersy · 29/09/2011 10:20

I've got some;

My Mil; "You're not doing too bad though are you if the only place you've put all the weight on is your bum. Its understandable to have a fat arse"

My DM about my babies scan: "Ah, she's got a big nose. Hasnt she, shes got a massive nose"

I've had a few bum ones, so I must have a fat bum. Dont see why people feel they have a right to comment on it though :(

kiki22 · 29/09/2011 10:29

our baby was a surpise and you would not believe the amount of people who have said 'are you keeping it' yes of bloody course i'm keeping it if i wasn't would i be excitedly telling you with a big smile on my face i'm having a baby. also are you happy about it?? tempting to reply no i'm gutted hate the bloody thing.

jaggythistle · 29/09/2011 15:57

I'm nearly 10 weeks so have all the comments to look forward too.

I just got the boring 'is it twins' etc. last time, maybe they'll be more inventive for no2 Grin

ToriaPumpkinPasty · 29/09/2011 16:11

Engels I got that from my BIL's 18 year old step-son, who was less than sober himself at BIL's wedding.

"What are you drinking?"
A spritzer.
"You shouldn't be drinking!"

There was about half a measure of white wine in a tall glass of lemonade.

msbuggywinkle · 29/09/2011 16:12

I'm 29 weeks pregnant with DD3 and the amount of people who have asked if we are disappointed...it is so so very rude. In any case, we are actually really happy to be having three girls, mainly because the 2 existing ones like the idea of another sister more than they liked the idea of having a brother.

nickelbabe · 29/09/2011 16:25

I like the idea of 3 sisters.
I'm one of 3 girls, myself.

redexpat · 29/09/2011 20:23

I can't believe that there have been 82 weeks so far and no one has said:

When are you due?
Next week.
Oh but first babies are always late - you could be like that for another 3 weeks.

FUCK THE FUCK OFF!

redexpat · 29/09/2011 20:24

posts! I meant 82 posts! God can you imagine 82 weeks? I'm blaming the hormones!

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 29/09/2011 20:26

My boss to me, today, "gosh, you are getting bigger every day"....yes, that is the way these things tend to go

And in the same breath, "is he pumping you up every morning" WTF???

Think she meant with some sort of bicycle repair kite, but was so tempted to respond with something smutty

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 29/09/2011 20:27

argh, kit not kite

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 29/09/2011 20:28

82 weeks??!!??

Im pulling my hair out at another 10 to go, imagine if it was another 52 to go!

nickelbabe · 30/09/2011 11:57

I got "you're getting bigger every week" from my belly dance teacher, but I didn't mind it, because I am
plus, it means she goes easy on me in class Wink

Beesok · 30/09/2011 16:20

Maybe this is not the appropriate thread but I hate it when people insist on repeatedly asking what name you chose, when you already told them you haven't yet.....I'm not being "precious" and I don't mind when someone asks for the first time but seriously a friend has now asked five times........I am trying not to be rude :)

My husband thinks I'm a little weird but I have this silly "superstition" and I just want to keep one little thing a surprise - everyone knows the sex, the due date, which hospital etc etc I want to keep the name just for us so that we can have that "announcement" moment :) (although I caved in and told parents and PILs but swore them to secrecy!)

Crosshair · 30/09/2011 16:23

''I want to keep the name just for us so that we can have that "announcement" moment smile (although I caved in and told parents and PILs but swore them to secrecy!)''

I have done exactly the same! :o

SjuperWolef · 30/09/2011 16:31

my mums mainstay throughout my sisters pregnancy last year and mine this year - ''i heard about/read about/know someone who had a stillbirth/miscarriage/early labour at 4/5/6/7 months so you be careful'' also my sister is unable to labour naturally and has had to have an emcs and an elcs and i have went into preterm labour with dd and this pregnancy at 33 weeks luckily both stopped but my mums mention of it was this - ''maybe your sister just cant have babies at the end and you cant carry them to the end'' Shock she's not a mean narc bitch just says whatever pops in her head without thinking how hurtful it can be :(

also had all the ''ooh you must be due soon, blimey october?!'' and ''how many have you got up there?!'' type comments i can take oh and a mum at school tried to touch my bump the other day and i jamp a foot back and shouted at her to get off me i was very Angry we're not even 'friends'!!

:)

thats my passive agressive face to anyone who comes near me and mentions the baby unless its to say ooh you look luffly Grin

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 30/09/2011 16:31

"OMG you're going to burst" was the delightful comment I had yesterday off a random woman in Tescos who asked when I was due (in four weeks). It has made me smile for the last 24 hrs though Smile.

In fact yesterday was a bit of a bonanza with the comments. A woman at the zoo also made surprised noises when I said I had 4 weeks to go.

I may have a bit of a large bump which is all at the front

SjuperWolef · 30/09/2011 16:32

fecking hell that was an epic post and i dont think i paragraphed quite enough. sorry Blush

nickelbabe · 30/09/2011 16:33

I don't mind friends asking what names we've chosen, but I do get annoyed at completely random custoemrs asking about the names!

lolajane2009 · 30/09/2011 22:23

I don't know if this qualifies but moments after I gave birth my normally sensitive husband informed me he was really tired now....

KittyAnne · 01/10/2011 10:33

When people ask you about names and when you tell them they look visibly horrified. Mind your own fucking business then.

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 01/10/2011 11:00

Urh, Ive stopped telling people my chosen boys name: they seem to uhmmm and ahhhh over it for ages before giving their (unsolicited) opinion. Th girls name gets a generally nice reception, so I can at least give the masses something.

HillyMcGrew · 01/10/2011 11:07

"Hey Pregnogirl!" from a colleague I don't even know the name of.

Why yes, it is I, Pregnogirl! I just left my cape and lycra onesy at home, and prefer to keep my pants on the inside during office hours. [Strikes heroic pose].

spannermary · 01/10/2011 11:07

Names are a nightmare! We've picked a boys name and have now found out it was my greatgrandads name...and he was a bit of a nightmare! So...we aren't telling anyone what we've chosen!

jaggythistle · 01/10/2011 11:28

Grin pregnogirl! what are your superpowers then?

some people eh!

with this being no 2, I reckon it'll mostly be about whether we would prefer a girl or another boy. i am basing this on the fact that i am asked this regularly anyway...

hopefully no 'was it planned?' this time. that was my mum's first thought after excited happy noises when pg with DS. i was 30 and married with my own house so not that mad an idea i reckoned?

SophRunning · 01/10/2011 11:34

"Hey, I just thought you'd got really, really fat. And then I realised you were having a baby!"