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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What not to say to a pregnant woman

105 replies

BrightonNim · 27/09/2011 11:43

No doubt this sort of thread has been done before but I'm 33 weeks pregnant with third DC and still amazed at what people feel they can say to you when you are expecting - some if it really quite rude and at times upsetting!

So - what are the worst things someone has said to you when pregnant? How about a top ten things of NOT to say...

e.g. last night 'if you're that size now imagine what you're going to be when the time comes...' (i'm really not that big, this was from a female neighbour who I know as a neighbour rather than a good friend).

Some ideas of cutting responses would also be great!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

spannermary · 27/09/2011 16:04

If I get upset about something, my DH tells me: "Oh it's just your hormones".

Aagh!!!

EsmeMrsP · 27/09/2011 16:21

From my brother in law when he first learnt that I was pregnant: "Are you sure you're pregnant? How do you know? Don't you think you should do another test??"

From a close friend when I first told her I was pregnant: "Fuck!" (followed by a big sigh from her). And then not "congrats" or "how are you feeling" but "Will you still come out on nights out when the baby is 6 months old or so?" - thanks for caring...

From another close friend the other week: "You don't look like you've got a bump, you just look like you've got a fat stomach" - again, thanks for that...

Grrrrrrrrrr

At least all your comments made me smile and see that I'm not the only one getting irritated with people's bloody stupid comments!

MistyMountainHop · 27/09/2011 16:42

OMG misty you're HUGE!!!

from MIL when i was about 6 months preg, barely showing and actually measuring so tiny for my dates i had to go and have extra scans, (i was ill during pg and didnt put on much weight)

cow.

babloogirl · 27/09/2011 16:43

When still trying to conceive and on fertility treatment which my friend new about... "One advice, never have kids, they will ruin your life it will be the biggest mistake you will ever make"

and Everyday for the past 3 weeks "Is the baby born yet?" to which I now reply

I am going to ignore your question and give you 3 possibilities, please chose which ever you prefer
a)I am right now in labour but I am so amazing that I can carry on having a conversation with you in the middle of the street
b) Now that you remind me, yeah I had the baby a few weeks back but didn't bother telling anyone or even taking him with me when I got out of the house this morning
c) I am still pregnant and waiting!

mrswillywonka · 27/09/2011 17:00

My favourite so far from 2 different male relatives..... Oh look, who ate all the pies! Actually I haven't put on any weight Anywhere except my bump. Not pies. A baby.

nickelbabe · 27/09/2011 17:08

ooh, yes, my mum keeps making breastfeeding/formula comments.
she thinks she's being helpful and supportive, but in actual fact, she's being annoying by basically telling me I'm going to fail.
I told her that I'm going to BF and that she mustn't mention formula. She just said "you'd better get some just in case, because you should be prepared in case it doesn't work out like that" "no, mum, i'm going to BF" "well, I'm just saying be prepared". "mum, those comments aren't helpful" "i was just trying to help"

PeppermintCreams · 27/09/2011 17:13

We aren't even pregnant with number two yet, and the OH is all, "you are going to have an elective c section this time aren't you?" (After an emergency one last time, even though Dr said I would have no problem having a vbac this time)

ARGH!!!

Gingersnap88 · 27/09/2011 17:21

"did you ever think about not having the baby?" from someone I barely know after I had announced the pregnancy and how happy we were

Iggly · 27/09/2011 17:24

Oh my god you're HUGE

Also my boss keeps making comments about me going off pregnant as if I did it to spite her FFS.

MarkStretch · 27/09/2011 17:28

My CONSULTANT said to me 'Sooo this is baby number 3? Have you considered sterilisation?'

saltyair · 27/09/2011 17:51

"Have you tried nibbling a ginger biscuit"

Of course I fucking have.

Say it again and I will rip your head off and vomit into the bloody hole.

goodnightmoon · 27/09/2011 19:37

So glad to see this thread because I'm still fuming from yesterday after I went to take one tiny chocolate from a stash my boss has brought in and a colleague sitting by it gave me a look and said - diabetes - in a warning way. WTF! I'm 28 weeks, measuring on small side and only revealed the pregnancy to most of the people at work last week so i'm not exactly exhibit a for gestational diabetes.

Lifeissweet · 27/09/2011 19:54

'Oh - you're having a girl because your backside is HUGE!'
and when I looked a little put out: 'No - I didn't mean to upset you. It's fine. You're pregnant!'

Thanks - but I am not storing a baby in my arse, thanks very much and you are just RUDE!

madmomma · 27/09/2011 21:17

'congratulations or comisserations?'
'is that a bastard you've got in there?' I kid you not.

I am 7 months pregnant, so Mum sees fit to say to me today 'my cousin lost a baby at seven months pregnant. You think by then everything's ok, but they can still die can't they?' Thanks Mum

Kitty5824 · 27/09/2011 21:41

What is the deal with the whole getting formula in in case you can't BF?? Has no-one heard of 24hr supermarkets? Even my local petrol station stocks formula!!

Clearly I've been lucky so far, except for the lady shopping in John Lewis when I let myself look at baby stuff for the first time after a successful 20 week scan

"when are you due then?"
"21st December"
"Oh, but your enormous. She (pointing to one of the two pertly pregnant ladies she was with) is due next month and you're bigger than her!"

hmph!

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead · 27/09/2011 22:10

Preg with DS - "you're not going to cope with a child"
Preg now - "theres NO WAY you'll cope with two"

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Oeisha · 27/09/2011 22:16

Best one so far was today. 23wks and all out front, but otherwise I've lost a lot of weight (down on pre-pg weight) and I'm short....but:
"Wow! She's [points to 6ft4 daughter] due in a couple of weeks, with twins, and you're massive compared to her"...yeah, thanks bitch!

Enfyshedd · 28/09/2011 00:03

One of my bosses just came back from her maternity leave and I told her last week that I'd just had my BFP - "You'll be fine - I had no problems with morning sickness or anything like that!"

I've spent every day since then keeping an eye on the fastest routes to the toilets in case that churning in my stomach doesn't stay down...

setara · 28/09/2011 08:03

1- Try not to put on too much weight, your already a bit podgy and its not good for your health

2- Oh do they have the same Father? (yes btw)

3- Wow your like rabbits arn't you, (3 years between my DC and this 1 )

setara · 28/09/2011 08:09

Oh and from Friends husband, "i knew it your Boobs have gone obscene, not that i notice these things", erm yeah thanks, (curls up in the corner)

Merinda · 28/09/2011 08:41

The best one from a female friend: "yeww, look at that belly button - you better cover it up, it is gross..." (my belly button popped out at 29 wks)...

melliebobs · 28/09/2011 08:54

one of my patients at work when i told her i was expecting said

"oh well that will be your career over with. what a shame!"

to which she got told that i would be returning to work full time as financially i have no other option. Then she said

"but what will you do with the baby"

well i thought id leave it home alone! NO you stupid woman it will go to nursery like alot of other babies. I aint happy about it but dont have much of a choice.

i then had daggers and cat arse mouth off her for the rest of the session

ALotToTakeIn · 28/09/2011 09:16

"Oh I hadn't noticed you were pregnant" now i'm sorry but you knew me before and i was tiny and I'm not 8 months with a beach ball stuck on my front- really you didn't notice?!?
"Was it planned?" well we have been married for 4 years and managed not to get pregnant so what do you think?
from a MW who I now refuse to see " well of course the baby could still be RH+" after being told that both hubby and I are Rh- either she doesn't understand the whole Rh thing or she was implying my hubby might not be bumps Dad!

Engelsmeisje · 28/09/2011 09:23

The bloody pregnancy food/drink police:

(while getting a morning cup of coffee), "Should you be drinking that?/Oh, you're still drinking coffee are you?"

(Someone taking away my empty coffee cup) "You won't be needing THAT anymore today will you?"

(drinking a glass of champagne at my best friend's wedding at 7 months after being teetotal for my entire pregnancy), "Should you be drinking that?"

(My BIL on facebook to my DH after I had a shall we say rather emotional conversation with him about how interfering my MIL was being) "Pregnant women?! Fun, eh?!"

melliebobs · 28/09/2011 09:26

www.thetech.org/genetics/ask.php?id=114

apparantly RH- parents can still have a rh+ baby. i'm dubious but the whole blood group thing makes my head hurt

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