Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

men keep staring at me - anyone else noticing this?

37 replies

lovemysleep · 03/08/2011 09:34

I'm 30 weeks pg, about the right size apparently (am starting to feel HUGE though!) and I am sick of men staring at me!
Some seem to adopt a slight look of disgust, as if I shouldn't be out in public, as I am offending them. Others just have a REALLY good look at me - it's so bloody unnerving!
I could understand if I was swanning around in a cropped top with hot pants on .......subjecting the viewing public to that would be taking it a step too far, maybe?????
AM I just being paranoid - or is anyone else getting cheesed off with this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LizzyMathsWhizzy · 03/08/2011 09:39

They're just curious I think! They don't see loads of pregnant women, some of them might be wondering what their partners would look like pregnant, some probably just appreciate the feminine curves of pregnancy. Others of course are thinking "ew, put it away!" I quite like the attention really, I'm 24 weeks and feel pretty enormous myself, but I had noticed men looking. Just be flattered

Likesshinythings · 03/08/2011 09:48

I was a bit shocked and also rather amused when I was pregnant to find myself actually being "chatted up" on a couple of occasions! You'd think having a bump would be the ultimate discourangement but apparently not. Maybe it was because I was happily pregnant and actually felt good about my body (a rare occurance indeed!).

JenniL1977 · 03/08/2011 09:56

I heard it's because it's a completely primeval reaction - you're obviously fertile, so they check you out as a mate. Totally subconscious.
There will be some bizarro pregnaphiles out there, but mostly I think they're just interested and curious - which I think is nice actually, with all the stick men (in general) get for being unable to commit, boys in men's clothing, etc etc. Although I know plenty of that sort too!
I think I've had more conversations with men about my pregnancy, tbh - the lads at work were all fascinated (whereas most of the ladies had done it already so it was all old news to them :))
It's only going to get worse as you get to term, so just enjoy the fact that even while you feel like a fat whale, someone still finds you attractive!

Sausagesarenottheonlyfruit · 03/08/2011 09:59

I find it funny when the men with beer bellies comparable in size to an 8-month bump stare at my belly.

I just stare right back at theirs with a , soon puts them off.

Had the most looks from men at around 5 months, big inflated boobs (me, not the men...although...)

HPonEverything · 03/08/2011 10:09

Haha I'm noticing it lately too, and really quite enjoying it :)

fizzypigs · 03/08/2011 10:11

Yes! Especially old men. I'm feeling especially grumpy today so may stay in otherwise could start a bit of a fracas!!

daimbardiva · 03/08/2011 10:13

During my last pregnancy I actually had a really unnerving experience in a petrol station where a man in front of me in the queue was staring at me/my bump literally open mouthed and made a feeble attempt at small talk but then gave up even trying to speak and just stared! I felt really vulnerable and would've left if I hadn't had to pay. In the end the man behind the counter had to come out and move him on!!!

In general though, I think it is mostly innocent fascination, and that good old pregnancy "glow" of course!

Pastabee · 03/08/2011 10:43

I haven't noticed this beyond a middle aged man at station giving me his place in the queue and telling me it was disgusting I was paying to use loo and I should complain. That was quite sweet really.

The men I know just seem interested to the point of surprising me. A 21 year old male trainee in the office said to me yesterday 'how big is your baby now and do you think it can hear me now'. Was floored by his interest which clearly reveals my own prejudices about young men!

Don't think I'd like to be stared at though!

Crosshair · 03/08/2011 11:02

That sounds rather scary daimbardiva.

PinkFondantFancy · 03/08/2011 11:10

I've had the same thing-the guys in my office have shown a lot more interest than the ladies. I find it get stared at in the street by both men and women, it's quite odd but I do secretly like it! I guess I used to check people's bumps out too, especially when I was TTC.

DoTheStrand · 03/08/2011 11:32

I had this when 6+ months pregnant with my DS - lots of 30-something men in cars stopping to let me cross the road, opening doors for me etc. I live in a town full of babies and toddlers though, so maybe it was reminding them about their own offspring/future offspring as someone said upthread. (Or maybe I looked like a ship in full sail and they thought I probably couldn't stop once I got going, who knows).

Am now pregnant again, not showing yet but have also noticed looks and stares from men - I would like to think it was because of my blooming skin and cheery demeanour but (a) I am not blooming but hot and sweaty, and (b) I have had such horrible nausea and exhaustion for the past 3 months a smile has barely graced my lips in that time. On second thoughts maybe they just think I look sick and knackered!

kenobi · 03/08/2011 11:36

Yes, I got it too, but didn't get the impression men were disgusted, more fascinated.

Completely agree with jenni that it's primeval - sort of 'You Are Woman! Fertile Woman!'

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 03/08/2011 11:39

I'm 16+6 and just started showing, but I have found it funny how people who know I'm pregnant, but I haven;t seen for a while, look at my face first, then their eyes slide down to my tummy to see if I'm showing yet!

Haven't really noticed much attention from strangers, but it really was only just this week that it started looking like a baby bump and not 'who ate all the pies' :-)

OrangeGloss · 03/08/2011 11:51

I've noticed men staring, and had a lot talk come over to talk to me about it, they generally seem fascinated, so feel quite flattered to be honest

I've also noticed at work men have been a lot 'nicer' than usual, I wondered if pg brought out their paternal instincts!

I do think pregnant women aren't that common here so it's probably novelty value :)

rooks14 · 03/08/2011 12:03

I love being at a starbucks or somewhere of a shelf of waist height. Lads are like good face, look down big boobs, i emerge from barrier with 40 week pregnant belly oh shit...

colditz · 03/08/2011 12:05

Ahhhhh

You feel hot and sweaty but you look pink (therefore younger) and healthy - and fertile.

NickyE119 · 03/08/2011 12:08

When I was in the 2nd trimester, I found that men would just stare at my growing breasts. It would be quite funny because my husband would see them doing it and so would the men's wives who would give them a disgusted look or a dig in the ribs! Now at 38 weeks, I find that men are very concerned about how I am and wishing me lots of luck which I find very sweet. My husband and I run our own business which is quite male dominated and the customers have been lovely especially if we have to close early because of hospital appointments. They ring us up the next day to make sure everything is ok.

LDNmummy · 03/08/2011 12:13

I've had this from as soon as I had the littlest bump. My mum warned me about men who find pregnant women sexy as she was equally as unnerved about it as I was one day when we went shopping and it seemed every male for a mile was staring at me and my bump.

I just think it is curiosity, they can't carry a child so it must be really fascinating. My DH's friends always ask me questions and when my bump grows they look at it in astonishment if they haven't seen me for a while. I think it is just amazing to them that a woman's body can do what it does.

I think Jenni is quite right about it being primeval.

Ah men, bless their hearts they are almost all softy's really

JenniL1977 · 03/08/2011 13:08

OMG! I feel so proud, MN affirmation of an opinion I put forward!
@ Kenobi - "me, man, bring fire. You woman, make baby!" Hilarious :)

yummymango · 03/08/2011 13:19

I seem to get loads of women staring at me and I hate it! Have they never seen a pregnant lady before? I am 32 weeks and don't think I look big/small/old/young or out of the ordinary so I have no idea what they are staring at but I swear I almost punched a girl the other day who looked me up and down in a very obvious manner!

lolajane2009 · 03/08/2011 13:19

I am 33 + 5 and getting this from everyone, not just men, and I feel like a circus freak as my body is thin everywhere except my huge stomach... think they might think I'm Mrs Santa or an escaped hippo from a zoo tbh. Hubby loves my body like this as he hated me at my thinnest.

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 03/08/2011 13:38

yummymango - when I was first pregnant - in fact, from the moment we started trying, I found myself staring at pregnant women and thinking "we could be/we are both pregnant", but it's only this week that I actually look pregnant - maybe they're just experiencing fellow feeling/jealousy/some other personal emotion sparked by your bump? :-)

OrangeGloss · 03/08/2011 13:59

I have to admit I stared at pg women when we were trying, thinking it might be me soon, and now still have a sneaky glance to compare bumps

Actually my husband said recently he thought I was too thin pre-pg, I think he actually finds me more attractive now, but that might be because I'm also growing his baby and all the afore-mentioned caveman reasons :)

wompoopigeon · 03/08/2011 14:01

There is a whole line of porn dedicated to women who are pregnant, and believe me, there are a lot of pervs out there. In my last pg I was followed down a tube platform by a man calling "kissy kissy baby"
and I have also been kerb crawled in this pg too. (Yuk).
Some are just staring at the big tits, but some go for the whole package IYSWIM.
Makes me want to rant on the feminism boards frankly.

Crosshair · 03/08/2011 14:06

Woah.

Flip

1 2