Boys, boys, boys...

[H007]

Just a random thought, over the months I've been reading threads on here I've noticed that there seems to be an underlying disappointment with many people when they find out that they're having a baby boy. I was just wondering if anyone else had noticed it? At present I really don't think I mind what sex baby I have but with my 20 week scan coming up I worried maybe deep down like other I do and I will have this feeling of disappointment for one sex or the other and that maybe I shouldn't find out at all...

The "it takes a real man to produce a girl" is what men say because they feel they got the consolation prize, anyone who says that was secretly hoping for a boy. I wouldn't have a clue what to do with a girl and on the clothes side i think you can get much nicer clothes for little boys, i have some lovely little suits and smart sets for my son, he looks so cute in them. I'm lucky, i have a good relationship with my mum but i think my brothers are closer to her and my partner has a much better relationship with his, he's her little boy and can do no wrong, i love my mil to bits she's even going to be at the birth and i think she's as chuffed as me and my dh that we are having a boy.

I have 3 boys, I don't feel sad at all about this! Even so people did say to me last time oh another boy, never mind maybe next time will be a girl ! I want to say who says I even want a girl, I remember how bad I was as a teenager! I am now pregnant for the forth time and can't wait to hear the remarks if it's another boy!

I have a fairly quiet sedate boy who would rather 'read' a book than run amok with a football. He likes pink. His cousins (3 boys) are two live wires and one calm one, though they are all affectionate and lovely. These are two-year-olds.

If next offspring is a girl that would be great mainly because a) we have a girl name already and it would save on the months of arguing we had last time, and b) it would stop people going 'aren't you disappointed you didn't have a girl'. But apart from that really not fussed - there's so much more variation within sexes!

Probably a good thing my parents got a quiet geeky kid very like me as their first grandchild, though. :)

I have a girl aged 5 and boy aged 1 and this is my 3rd pregnancy and Im wishin and hoping for another boy simply because I have found him to be much more loving and less hard work than my (little princess........) ah hem.
But as with everyone ill get what Im given and if im blessed with a healthy baby im lucky x

i'd say its harder to make a boy in the 'real man' comments as us women are pre-dispositioned to make girls its the man who provides the y chromosone to make the boy.. ppl are so cruel at times especially if someone has been TTC for a while or had MCs then to them any babs a miracle not something to go ''ah shame maybe next time'' about.

I was happy to find out it was a boy! I would have been very happy with a girl too, but figured, for the first, that boys are easier to deal with than girls (more straight-forward - in general, of course everyone is different).

We'll see ;)

BOYS BOYS BOYS Ill be the champion for the wee little boys!!

i completly agree superjobeespecs any baby is a miracle regardless of what sex it is really. Having a baby is such a massive amazing thing, when you think about it , out of all the ways we know to take a life this is the only way we can create it in the grand scheme of things the sex is an irrelevant detail. You get the baby you get no baby is a "disapointment" after all it's a baby that you created, when had my son my mum was there and the first thing she said to me was he is the best thing you have ever done and she was damned well right, he's my little peice of heaven i couldn't care less if he has a y chromosone or not

(having said that i have been naughty and bought the girl version of the made with love blanket in mamas and papas, it has a little bit of blue on it i'm hoping people won't notice)

exactly, babies are a blessing too many ppl dont realise this and im damn sure my DD is the best thing ive ever done and im happy to brag about her to the moon and back and do regularly she is fab i'll do the same with my boy :) i always wanted to be a mum its definitley 1 of my lifes great pleasures along with white wine which i am missing out on just now but my boys worth it

I don't know why this is - I absolutely adore my ds, he is funny, quirky and hugely affectionate...but then I completely adore my dd too, who is similarly funny, quirky but given to pre-teenage strops! I think it boils down to the ignorance of the childless/ or some families with one gender of child who know nothing else. I strongly favoured wanting a girl for my second child when up until that point, my only child was a girl and I lacked personal experience of positive family relationships with males...so I didn't know what to expect

should be lungs/ribs

I'm a mum of two boys and pregnant with my third, also a boy. I think all the disappointed people who don't have girls are mad! My boys are the most gorgeous, gentle and straightforward people you would ever be likely to meet. Whenever we go to a playgroup/friend's house etc it is always the girls bullying and fighting, rarely the boys. I think people think that because a baby is born one gender or the other it will affect what kind of personality that baby has. This is completely upside down thinking as you never know who your baby is going to be until they are here. I would love my babies unconditionally whether boys or girls and think to feel any differently is a bit strange actually

I think at least part of it is the many many horror stories - on MN particularly, and elsewhere - about MILs and how they're always a long way second to DIL's own mother and never get a look-in with their son or their grandchildren.

Am planning to be the loveliest, most supportive and non-crowding MIL ever and hoping that does the trick... that or encouraging my boys to marry women who don't get on with their own mothers

I have two boys. Both completely different personalities. Both fantastic.

I didn't find out during either pregnancy what sex they were.

I did notice several people had the look of "what a shame, you must be disappointed" when DS2 arrived.

One woman - lives on the same street but not a neighbour - saw me passing with DS1 whilst pushing newborn DS2 in the pram. She leaned into the pram saying "ooh you've had the baby then. Did you have a girl this time?" I said no, another boy. Her response? "Oh dear, never mind. Did you want a girl?" I told her that no, I hadn't been bothered either way - a safe arrival for both of us was the important thing.

I really don't see why people feel the need to express themselves in something like this. Fine, if that's the way you think but otherwise keep your beak shut.

Wow - mini-rant over. Breathe.

I'm struggling a bit with this at the moment. I have two boys and I love them to bits. They're gorgeous, happy, funny boys. My littlest one is just a poppet and I wouldn't change him for the world. But I can't help wanting a girl. I always thought I'd have a girl (for the very scientific reason that I am a girl) and I don't feel like I'm done yet. I really want another baby (my husband doesn't) and I think it's just because I've got two boys.

My sister in law is about to have a girl (first in the family after our two boys and three nephews) and I was thrilled when she first found out, but as her pregnancy has gone on I'm becoming more jealous. Also I hate all the comments people put on her facebook page about her 'perfect family' (she's already got a son) as if your family isn't perfect if you don't have one of each.

I feel really guilty about wanting a girl (even though that wanting is completely independent of how I feel about my boys).

I am soooooooo pleased that this is turning into such a positive thread :)

MY MIL is a complete cow, my sister in law (her daughter) had a little girl 4 months before we (her son and I) had her first grandson and basically she doesnt give a sh*t about him, She sees the granddaughter every day and they take her out on daytrips but her stuff etc but doesnt make any effort to see my son, she even told family members the girl had walked earlier than our boy had (in fact my son was 10 months and the girl was 13months?)
Needless to say my hubby thinks I should just ignore her he thinks its weird of her to act this way and constantly talk about the granddaughter even to us and we argue about it EVERYDAY!

I have to admit to being guilty of this. I was fine until I managed to convince myself at about 32 weeks that it was a girl. No reason why it should have been but I started talking to bump as a girl as well (yes I know it sounds nuts). I was really shocked when my husband said its a boy and I have to say a little dissapointed. You also here lots of horror stories about boys clinginess and behaviour so I had already pre-worried in advance. It soon went away though and I am very glad I dont have a house full of pink stuff! I always think those mums who have a baby dressed in pink, a pink pushchair, pink changing back, etc are a bit strange. A boy allows you to have nice bright colours or go trendy with denim, etc.

I feel awful for confessing this but felt a twinge of disappointment when I found out DC1 was a boy.

I think it is because, first time around, the baby feels like an extension of yourself and so you naturally imagine it with feminine features.

Also a good friend of mine has three rather out of control boys and she is run ragged, and when I was pregnant a good deal of the time I spent with her was spent thinking "I don't want her life".

Now DS is in my life I would not change a single hair on his head. He is calm and affectionate and perfect.

I am pregnant again and would really like another boy if DS is anything to go by.

I have a little girl (20 months) and am nearly 3 months pg with number two. I would love to have a boy next but the only thing that niggles me slightly is the thought of breastfeeding a boy! I fed my daughter for 15 months, and i would like to do the same again (maybe not that long actually!) but in the back of my mind i have this weird thought that i would feel strange breastfeeding a boy. i know its absolutely bonkers but i cant get it out of my head...im sure when it comes to the crunch I wont even think twice about it but you do get some funny things into your head when you are pregnant!
Besides that I am looking forward to a possible break from all that pink - most of her clothes are handed down from her cousins and its ALL pink :P

sherbert girls can wear brght colours and denim you know.

As Mum to 2 DDs I get the opposite "Oh would you like a boy now?"

Its not only the boys who get put down...people say crap things like "Girls will be more trouble when they're older" and "Girls can be so sly and vindictive"

It's all a lot of crap.

Amen to that MumblingRagDoll

I'm another mum to a boy, and a big fan, but I have to confess I wasnt when I first found out. I think it was because I really thought it would be a girl, could only think of girls names, the only baby I knew was my niece and I had that "mini-me" fantasy that someone mentioned earlier. However, I am very glad that I found out while pregnant, and quite early too (after amniocentisis at 16 weeks) It was really great to have time to adjust to the idea, by the time baby arrived I was totally into the idea and fell in love with him the instant I had him in my arms. I feel sorry for the lady who said it took until her baby was 4 months old to really get used to the idea, or anyone who felt disappointed at the birth. I am glad I felt my disappointment early, got over it and was thrilled and overjoyed to welcome him into the world on his birthday.

I also think I have enjoyed being a mum to a boy much more than I ever would have expected, precisely because I had no expectations or fantasies about what it would be like. Instead I have got to know the person who arrived in the world, rather than having any preconcieved ideas about how it all "should" be.

So my view is, boys are fab, disappointments dont last long and are nothing to feel guilty about, motherhood is a whole whirlwind of emotions and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel about any of it. Boy or Girl, you will love the experience

oh... and I am having another boy and am very happy about it!

My mum had 2 of each.
Her words of wisdom

"Boys mess up your house, but girls mes up your mind".