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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

if one more person hopes its a boy...

40 replies

mamaesi · 06/06/2011 09:32

I am pregnant with number two and all anyone can say is "i hope its a boy"

We already have a baby girl. Every single family member including the most important one (my husband) keeps banging on about how great a boy would be and how desired it is, one of each, how a dad wants a son...

I still have a 4 more weeks before the scan and i cant help but be preoccupied/worried that no one but me will be excited and look forward to another girl. they all act like it will be such a boring disappointment.

anyone else dealt with this?

OP posts:

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harassedinherpants · 06/06/2011 09:34

Yes! I had two boys, and then had dd. I had sooo many comments along the lines of "wasn't I ecstatic to have a girl now?". Ummm no, I was terrified actually .

What you need to someone who's a lot quicker than me today (shattered!) to come up with a snappy retort .

RingEir · 06/06/2011 09:42

No, I am on my first so I haven't had to deal with this, but it sounds very very annoying alright. People are so thoughtless with the things they say, and they don't realise that you have already heard the same comment umpteen times. Anyway, 'one of each' isn't necessarily the best combination. I read an article recently which said that having two girls makes for the happiest families www.telegraph.co.uk/family/8429386/Want-to-be-happy-have-two-daughters.html.

Try not to take the comments too seriously. A lot of the time people just repeat clichés for the sake of it. Once you have the scan and know for sure I bet they will all say 'that's great' whether it's a boy or girl.

And in the meantime, just smile through gritted teeth

Coppernoddle · 06/06/2011 09:49

Oooh, I have two girlies and there ace!!! There both so different but amazing together! My third is a boy due in about 7 weeks and I'm bricking myself!!! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH ONE OF THOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bigbadbarry · 06/06/2011 09:49

Oh it is rubbish isn't it - when I was expecting my DC3 so many people assumed the only possible reason to have a third child is to get a boy as I had two DDs; some people even said oh I've got one of each so I dont' need to have any more. WTF? (I now have 3 DDs and am very happy with it thankyouverymuch)

howabout · 06/06/2011 09:54

I am on DC3 and everyone else was sure me and DH would be desperate for a boy. Actually I would have no clue where to start with a boy and as DH is the eldest in his family with 6 little sisters he is quite happy with being the man of the house. Mind you the 2 girls we already have are proper tomboys!!
I just want someone to enjoy watching the football with since DH and 2 girls have no interest in such matters.

AxyMum · 06/06/2011 09:56

I'm on my first but as I already have four nephews and only one niece I was being told how great a girl would be, but as soon as we found out he was a boy everyone got excited.

paddypoopants · 06/06/2011 09:57

I think it's awful - it's a horrible feeling to think that if the baby arrives and it's a girl then everyone apart from you will be disappointed. My parents wanted a boy and only got 2 girls and both my sister and I always felt they were pissed off that neither of us was a boy. They didn't even have a girl's name picked for me. Tell your husband that he's upsetting you.

steben · 06/06/2011 09:57

Not exp it yet but fully expect too - husband desp for a boy next time and our family is very girl heavy so everyone will be keeping fingers crossed for a boy. Am quite stressed actually and it is putting me off trying for DC2 :(

mandoo · 06/06/2011 10:00

I am pregnant with my second as well (we already have a son). Not sure if I will find out the sex as I too feel it will be a disappointment to others if it's another boy. However if we decide to wait to find out when it's actually born there will be no disappointment as he will be lovely and beautiful and impossible to be disappointed about.

CBear6 · 06/06/2011 10:02

I have a DS and for the first 20 weeks with this one all I had was
"I bet you're hoping it's a girl!" and "I bet you'll be gutted if it's another boy!". I've lost two pregnancies to miscarriage and it took us three years to conceive our first so my main concern is that's it's healthy and it sticks, regardless of gender (which I know is the main concern of the majority of rational, sane people). I used to just trot put a reply about how I didn't care "so long as it's alive" and people don't know what to say to that so it would shut them up.

At 20 weeks we found out we were having a girl and have since had the world and it's brother telling me I'll be able to stop now that I have one of each. Really? Is getting at least one of each gender the only reason anyone ever has more than two children?! DH and I are already disussing the logistics of having a third (we would have to move) and making plans to start scouting for three bedroom properties in the area for if the need arises. Again I just tell people "oh we're planning on at least one more, maybe two".

I remember when we found out DS was a boy and everyone consoled us with "never mind, maybe you'll get a girl next time" like boys aren't as desirable or something.

sevendwarves · 06/06/2011 10:11

This really annoys me too. I already have a son and am pregnant with my second. My MIL constantly reminds me that she has 4 grandsons and desperately wants a grand-daughter. She already seems to be getting excited about me having a girl, and while I really don't mind either way I kind of hope it's another boy just to spite her.

brettgirl2 · 06/06/2011 10:22

My husband is so tightfisted he wants another girl so he doesnt have to buy anything I pointed out weddings but he thinks that's outdated. In a way having a boy would be going outside my comfort zone.

saoirse86 · 06/06/2011 10:23

I have a DD and my DP's SIL is expecting. Everyone's already hoping it's a boy so there's a boy and girl grandchild and a boy to carry on the extremely common and not about to die out soon family name!

I also worry that if I were to have another child and it was a girl, they'd always be waiting for us to announce another pregnancy because of course there's no way you could be happy with 2 DD's!

brettgirl2 · 06/06/2011 10:24

Tbf seven if I was your MIL I would probably feel the same. Bit rude to actually say it though!

saoirse86 · 06/06/2011 10:24

brettgirl2 That's a very good reason to want another DC of the same sex as the first, I've got far too many girls clothes that would go to waste. Or maybe I'd put a boy in them!

CBear6 · 06/06/2011 10:29

I hate getting told crap like "ah, but boys are more loving" or "boys are harder work" while "girls are easy" and "girls are all for their dad when they're little but they'll look after you in your old age".

And the most vile saying about gender ever? "A daughter is your daughter and stay your daughter for life but a son is only your son until he takes a wife".

So in other words my son love me to pieces when he's a child but will ultimately ditch me for the first girl to let him into her knickers whilst my daughter won't care two figs about me when she's a child because her dad is much better but she'll gladly nurse me if I become elderly and infirm.

Aren't children a joy?

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 06/06/2011 10:32

I am SO pleased to be having another girl, but DH and others are clearly disappointed. Sod em.

sevendwarves · 06/06/2011 10:36

brettgirl I do understand her feeling that way but I just think it's a completely inappropriate thing to say when of course I have no control over it. It just makes me wonder if another grandson would be loved as much as a grand-daughter. FWIW SIL is 10 years older than DH and had children very young (1st at 14!) so hers are grown up and having their own families. MIL has 3 great grand-daughters so it's not like there aren't any girls in the family.

KatieWatie · 06/06/2011 10:37

I'm on my first and don't care either way, but my DH really wants a boy (2 girls from a previous marriage already). I understand him having a preference, but what upsets me most is when he voices it to other people :(
Fortunately most of those around me don't care what gender it is either, but lots of people are saying things like "ooh you're carrying up front, it must be a boy" which I worry will get his hopes up.

I'm trying to prepare him for it being a girl and I remind him that it's his chromosomes that determined the gender and nothing to do with me! The last thing I want in the delivery room is the look of disappointment on his face if it's a girl. I sort of wish I'd asked at the scan now.

saffy85 · 06/06/2011 10:38

Oh god know how you feel- got a girl already and keep getting people saying "ooh fingers crossed this one is a boy then you wont have to have anymore!" I know they don't mean any harm but having one of each isn't the be all and end all, not for me.

DP would love to have a boy this time round as he says he'll be outnumbered if it's another a girl. DD wants baby to be a girl as boys are "pooey heads" apparently. I'm not fussed either way myself.

brettgirl2 · 06/06/2011 10:55

Saoirse he's stated already that pink flowery growbags will be fine either was

brettgirl2 · 06/06/2011 10:56

Either way

msbuggywinkle · 06/06/2011 11:27

I have 2 DDs and so many people are asking if we're 'trying again for a boy'. It actually really upsets me (in a hormonal pregnant woman kind of way) as I hate the thought of people looking at my lovely DD2 as an 'attempt to get a boy'.

Especially as the plan has always been 3/4 children regardless of gender. I'm now telling everyone that, which seems to shut them up. I'd be really happy to have either gender, but no one seems to believe me!

nicolamumof3 · 06/06/2011 11:37

I have three boys every subsequent pg has been met with 'hoping for a girl' it is infuriating but just something people say unfortunately. I am now 34weeks with our first daughter and took me a while to come to terms with it and tell people. All I've ever wanted is healthy happy babies x

m1nn1em0u5e · 06/06/2011 12:00

This is driving me mad too!...I have 2 ds who we love very much, & I am now pregnant with our 3rd. The common response to telling people is 'aah bet you want a girl' Well no actually, a healthy happy baby is my response!....I just worry that if we are having another boy, the 'aah what a shame' comments will end up in me really speaking my mind!....Also if this baby is a girl, I dont want a big fuss & people going OTT as I dont want my boys to think that a girl is any more special than boys are!....All the Grandsons on both sides of the family are boys....

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