if one more person hopes its a boy...

[mamaesi]

I am pregnant with number two and all anyone can say is "i hope its a boy"

We already have a baby girl. Every single family member including the most important one (my husband) keeps banging on about how great a boy would be and how desired it is, one of each, how a dad wants a son...

I still have a 4 more weeks before the scan and i cant help but be preoccupied/worried that no one but me will be excited and look forward to another girl. they all act like it will be such a boring disappointment.

anyone else dealt with this?

I have redhair. It's an honour to have a redheaded baby in Denmark, where I live. I'm feeling the pressure to reduce a redhead rather than any gender, although my MIL seems to display an alarming preference for boys.

My DH came up with a couple of good potential retorts if anyone dared ask us if we were hoping for a boy (we had a girl first):

[said with heavy sarcasm] "Yes, if it's another girl we'll love her just that little bit less" or "Yes, if it's a boy we'll love him just a little bit more".

or less sarcastic:

"I love DD because she's DD, not because she's a girl, and we'll love the new baby because it'll be a new person".

Thank goodness no one asked if we were hoping for a boy! (we had another girl FWIW).

I like to take the other approach and assume people are just struggling for something to say and missing the target a bit. People say things about gender that make frig all sense on inspection, but I think they're trying to make conversation. Otherwise you're surrounded by and related to twats. I found giving the benefit of the doubt was a lot more pleasing than seething about comments that are ten a penny.

That said, after months of trying to believe the 'you're huge' comments were a positive acknowledgment of the health of the pregnancy, I cracked and burst into tears.

That is very gracious of you, SOH, but I do not share your optimism.

I've told this story before, but DH's grandmother rang me in the hospital after DD was born to say, almost verbatim, "Congratulations! Now, think positive, the next one will be a boy". This after a pregnancy in which MIL scrutinised the scan pictures (we didn't find out) and decided it was definitely a boy, and both she and her Mum, the grandmother in question, only knitted blue things. When SIL was pregnant recently they were blatant about hoping it was a boy this time. She has two girls now.

I'm rather hoping this one will in fact be a girl, just to annoy them.

I feel your pain. My sister has 2 DS, I also have a DS and am expecting my second. My mum of all people keeps saying, 'of course as long as it's healthy that's the important thing, but wouldn't it be lovely to have a girl this time'. We made the mistake of telling her we were going to find out the gender this time, (we didn't with DS) and after every scan (private early scan and 12 week scan) and even after my midwife appointments, the first thing she asks is 'do we know what it is yet'. I may well tell her after the 20 week scan that we do know, but aren't telling! Just to wind her up.

Oh yes Tortoise some people say twattish things and of course I reserve true ire for them. But the very fact that so many people say these odd, throwaway things about gender I have to believe is due to lack of joined up thinking and a genuine desire to make conversation as opposed to being wittingly malicious. I'd go mad with rage otherwise.

I've posted on debates like this before. I'm very lucky I have 2 DDs and that is exactly what DH and I wanted .They are as different as chalk and cheese, but still they play together and share experiences in a way I'm not sure a brother and sister would.

Next time your DH mutters about wanting a son make him stand in the middle of the garden in the pouring rain for an hour and remind him that not only is he taking DS to every football, rugby or cricket practice, but he is going to clean and wash all the kit - especially the boots. (DD2 played football for a bit and cleaning studs is vial).

My mum tells me that her MIL (i.e. my grandma) was mortified when DC1 turned out to be a boy and made sure this was known. However throughout our childhood it was absolutely clear to everyone (including me :( ) that my brother was Grandma's golden child and my presence was just an inconvenience.

The moral of the story: just because they think they want you to have a particular gender, it doesn't necessarily follow that they'll be happy when they get it!

I don't have experience of this as am 13 weeks with our first but have been surprised but the amount of people asking if we will find out the sex, then being completely astounded when we say we don't want to know...

I have a lovely DD already and am expecting DC2. We found out the gender with DD as I really wanted to know, but haven't this time. The reason is mainly down to the comments we got last time. Too many people made sympathetic noises and implied comments about how DH would be disappointed with a daughter (he wasn't). So this time, I know that if we're having another girl, people will be even more blatant in their 'sympathy'.

Also, MIL has one of each and has mentioned in passing a couple of times how it would be nice to have a boy - the 'perfect family'. So what does that make me and my DSis?!

Though, to complicate matters, DH is utterly, utterly convinced he saw boy bits on the scan - I know, I know! - so now he has me thinking it's a boy and talking like it is. Though I know he'd be happy either way. I just think I'm too grumpy, and whatever comment anyone passed on it would pee me off.

Only one person has made such a comment to us. We have a DD, currently expecting DD2. There are no boys in the family, all the kids are girls.

Everyone (including us) was absolutely thrilled to find out it's another girl, except for DH's Grandma, who when we told her it's another girl, said, "Nevermind... It'll still be welcome".

I was gobsmacked... She got a very large mouthful from my DH, then she backtracked, saying "well it's just as you were hoping for a boy". Erm... NO! We've never made any secret of our desire for another girl!!

I wonder if it's generally 'older' people who are making these comments?

I've got a huge bunch of my uni mates waiting to hear what gender I'm having because I thought I was having a girl last time (diff pg to first) and I didn't. Last time I'd also STUPIDLY mentioned that we were timing baby making to a slightly more likely to have a girl time( More out of scientific curiousity and fun than a real need to produce one flavour or the other!) Now MIL has decreed that baby 3 will be born on time (DS1 two weeks late,ds2 one week late) and will have a smaller head due to being a girl so no need for any medical intervention this time!!!(As in both other labours!) (I was prepped for an em cs with ds2 following a very long labour and a baby in the wrong position) MIL had predicted that 2nd babies are always born after about an hour!!
However she dosn't think the baby will be "ready" by 38/39 weeks if I'm induced or have an elective cs. He/she isn't a souffle. I'm sure they don't go ping at exactly 40 weeks!!! What ever type of souffle baby is!!
Sorry I've ranted off topic.

I've got two totally differant but adorable boys who don't fit any gender stereotypes. All wallpaper in house still intact. Whatever I "get" this time it'll be another person.

I think the only thing to do is to, whenever you get a stupid comment like this, to look at them with a broad but mystified smile and say "Whatever do you MEAN?"

"umm, you know, that you'll want a boy now"
"What on earth would make you say that?"
"mm, because, you, you know, have a girl"
"I'm sorry, I really don't understand what you're saying" (plus ever broader smile)
"umm......."

Honestly, shaming people into admitting they're ludicrous by refusing to engage with them actually does work.

My 11year old DD really wants a brother......I'm so nervous now as I thought she was kidding at first. Apparently not. I've tried to prepare her by saying it could be either won't it be fun to find out....
Thankfully most people (ones who I listen uto) know I just want a healthy baby after a difficult PG.

Everyone keeps telling me "I bet you are hoping it's a girl" and it's getting on my nerves! I honestly have no preference either way! Irritating, lol