Loss Of Amniotic Fluid at 20 weeks

[Tashymondo]

So Let me set the scene, it has not been an easy pregnancy but the day of my 20 week Scan was to make up for it. I booked the day off work and it was my sisters 24th birthday which mean that we would all go to dinner after. I couldn?t be happier.

Then we find out that what I thought was just me having an accident Saturday night a family party whilst waiting in the queue for dinner was actually me leaking all of my amniotic fluid. When the nurse taking the scan told me she just said I'm so sorry but it?s all gone. I'm so sorry I don?t know what to say, I can't get a good look at the baby as its not moving. Neither did I know what to say, I just cried how could this be? We were all so happy and now this.

It was explained to me that the baby was at high risk of being underdeveloped especially in the lungs area. There was little to no chance of it surviving and it was made clear to me that my strongest option at this stage was termination.

I did not for a second want that or think that was it. Everyone at the hospital was just full of apologies. What about the good news, where was the silver lining I kept thinking??

I was taken to the labour ward a doctor that I saw only weeks before said she couldn?t understand on the scan I had then everything was fine. She explained the risks to me and the baby and that there was little hope or little that we could do. My partner was in tears, to see him cry just felt like it was over. But I didn?t want it to be over!!! How can I fight this?? I only lost my waters 4 days ago surely there is hope???

I was asked to call my dad how was innocently making his way to the restaurant, he was egar to hear what the sex of his first grandchild was. I told him through tears that there is a problem and you must come to the hospital. My sisters where in bits in the waiting area. I felt awful for weeks the thought of bringing new life into the family kept me going made us all happy and now this.

My dad joined us, again I had the risks and outcomes explained. Then i was poked and jabbed with needles. Come back tomorrow they suggested you have been through enough today.....

That night I felt my baby or Peanut as we affectionately call it and in the morning we felt is heart beating away. Its then I decided that I should fight; I should fight because that is what my Peanut is doing. Through all the risks surely there is some hope. Surely there can be something we can do!!??

At the hospital I was sure to get answers, I found out that as long as I don?t go into labour before week 24 then they will revive my Peanut. A san showed that there were NO abnormalities as yet I am free from infection and today I have felt my wonderful Peanut kick several times. So the fight is on.

I am trying to be positive but I need to know what movements are baby and what feelings I should go to hospital for?? I.e. going into labour. This is my first baby so I have no idea what that would be like.

I am mostly worried that Peanut will try to come out earlier then 24 weeks and the doctors will not help him/her. I'm not ready to lose!! I really am not ready to accept what the doctors are saying neither is my partner nor is our Peanut. Am I crazy??? Any advice any one can give would be great!! xxxx

hi tashy

i have been reading ths from the beginning and thinking of you both. I am so sorry for what has happened, but your courage and your Zain's fighting spirit has been so inspiratonal.

xx

Tashy - have been away, and just caught up with your thread. I just want to say how sorry I am that Zain was born sleeping, and how very strong you both were to keep going as long as you did. A friend of mine lost her boy at 20 weeks this time last year, and in honour of her and her son I just signed the SANDS petition for more research and funding into stillbirth. If you haven't already been to their site it's www.uk-sands.org/ They have loads of support there and I'm sure you'll continue to get support here too if you need it. Look after yourself. xx

Tashy, I somehow missed your tragic news, so just wanted to add my voice to everyone elses. Thinking of you at this difficult time. With love to you all.

Hello ladies,

Thank you for the further messages since I last posted!!! XXXX

I have spent the last week and a bit pretty much in bed. I was so determined to keep positive and keep going after Zain's passing. I arranged the whole funeral as quick as I could, I rang round the whole family and told them of our fight without tears. In fact I barely shed a tear, I just kept busy. In a horrid way I used the funeral and looking after my partner and my families emotions as a distraction for how I was really feeling. Now its over and my beautiful boy is at rest. I am at a loss as to what to do with myself. I am not working as I have decided to take the maternity leave I was entitled to. So I have no structure no plans to my day. I am happy that Zain is at peace and not suffering as if he survived labour he would still be in NICU and that wouldn't be nice for him. But I am so lost and empty.

Me and the other half (Sam) were supposed to be getting away for a while. I don't know what is happening there. I don't want to be the one in control of everything any more. I kept it cool and I was in control for over 28 weeks, I kept my emotions under control and I stayed strong and gave others strength. But I'm tired of that. I literally am soo exhausted I sleep most days. It's like over the last 28 week or however long this has all been my body has stored this up and now its saying no, just stay down I'm tired and the head has worked me too hard. I didn't give in to it before because I had Zain or I had to put Zain to rest or I had to make sure that everyone around me could see that i could cope. Now I don't have to do that and i have no new focus I have given in. I am staying down.

Just want someone to pick me up. Trouble with that is everyone is so used to me being the sensible strong one that no one will. They will only join me, I'm the one who cheers up others when they are down, not the other way round. When I am down I am really down and this is very hard for people to deal with. How can I pick myself up from this?? Where is the silver lining. It was everywhere just a couple of weeks ago. Then WHACK I woke up one day and it was gone I couldn't find a positive in anything.

Loosing Zain was awful but I had solace in the fact that he wasn't in pain. Now I just feel empty. I have had the odd good day or moment but the straight after the feeling of empty is soo intense it hurts and I can't breath. I know that I need to snap out of it as being like this is making my partner sad. I would normally snap him out of it and go somewhere just to get out the house. But I just can't do that just now.

Sorry to rant on, thgank you again for the support and for reading my posts!!! xxx

Tash

Oh Tash, I followed your thread silently. Please please allow yourself to grieve for Zane. It isn't your responsibility to hold it together so you don't upset others. They need to be there for you now, it's important that you grieve. Not something anyone likes to do but speak to a grief counsellor, reassure yourself that these are natural stages of an inevitable process. You have been so so incredibly strong and you need time to rest now and let others carry you alone for a while. xxx

Along for a while... xx

Tash,
I am so sorry for your loss. The grief of loosing a child is all encompassing and totally overwhelming. I lost my son a week after birth due to a birth accident, and I know only too well the feeling of total emptiness. Please take time to heal and grieve and spend time with your partner. Please also contact your local SANDS group who will hopefully be able to offer you support ( there is also an online forum which I found a great help.
Take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you and your beautiful boy.
xx

Reading your story made my heart race as it is almost exactly what we went through in November. Our outcome was not good but please rest, rest, rest, drink lots of fluid, avoid infection and get as many opinions as possible. We were referred to UCH in London to a professor of fetal medicine. Read as much as you can and stay positive.

So sorry, I had just read the first page. Deepest sympathies. We lost our son at 24 wks + 3 days too. Stay strong x.

Thank you everyone for posting xxxxx

Hello to all you wonderful women who helped and supported me through such a difficult time!!!

I just wanted to say that I am pregnant again and am 6wks + 1 and I'm totally petrified so I have started a new phone thread called Second Pregnancy after loss of waters at 20wks and still birth last year.

I would be so grateful if you could help me with my latest concern... I am having cramps every time I need a bowel movement. Is this something you have had or have? Any suggestions as to what it might be? XxX

Sorry I can't help with your concern, but I just wanted to congratulate you on your new pregnancy and wish you every happiness for the future. X

More congratulations, and wishes of future happiness from me.

It might not be the same but I had dreadful wind/ constipation etc through the first trimester of each pregnancy. I'd be in agony in the morning. It simply seemed to bemy version of morning sickness, this time it was so bad I couldn't get off the floor before 8am! Normal periods upset my bowels a bit, early pregnancy wasjust an extreme form of this.

Thank you NAR4 and Goulelocks. I hate to say it but I am trying not to get to excited I am hoping for the best but expecting the worst, sounds awful I know but I am so scared and it is just to good to be true.

Goulelocks I am glad I am not the only one who suffers these symptoms, when did it stop for you and did you go on to have a healthy pregnancy/ baby after???

Love to you both XxX

Really sorry to hear about your loss!
I lost my little boy at 23 weeks he was called Riley. Mine was due to an infection to my placenta and a weak cervix... I was fighting to keep him in their until he was 24 weeks but he came out sleepig because they had to break my waters.

Really hope your coping, I always sit up at rileys gtave and speak to him when I have problems, if tue windmill spins left it means no and if it spins right it means yes... it sounds silly but I think he answers me... I've had another miscarriage sice, I'm guessing its not my time yet.

Hope this pregnancy goes well for you. Surely there giving you extra care? And ofcourse congratulations :-D! My fingers and toes will stay crossed for you, rest in peace zain

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. Glad all's going as well as can be expected in the circumstances and that Peanut's hanging on in there. I've seen this go both ways and have seen babies like Peanut get to 32/40 and beyond!

I think it's very unfair that someone has said there's a 30% chance of survival in some hospitals at 23 weeks, this just isn't true and the survival at 24 weeks is still very low and the survival without long term problems is very small indeed. I'm not telling you this to be negative as I have everything crossed for you that peanut will still be messing around kicking at 28+ weeks! If I were you I would ask to speak to a paediatrician well before 23 weeks because they're the only ones that can give you the proper up to date information and also you can discuss early resuscitation if this is what you would want. Some places will consider it after 22 weeks if the baby weighs greater than 500g at birth but you really do need to be informed of Peanut's likely outcomes.

The poster about chorioamnionitis is correct also, current evidence from the RCOG is that 10/7 erythromycin from PROM gives better chances. The guideline can be found on www.rcog.org.uk under Women's Health and then greentop guidelines (all obstetricians use this for advice and guidance and most local guidance is based on this).

As for steroids I believe there's some (I think it's sketchy) evidence from 22/40 but the reason for not giving them at this stage is that steroids only give around 4 weeks of effectiveness and there's no point giving them before 24/40 if you're not going to attempt resuscitation as you're better off having the effect for longer at times you will definitely be looking at a better outcome!

Don't know if this is any use at all and I really do have everything crossed for Peanut and you!

This is the 4th healthy pregnancy with horrific wind/ cramps for most of the first trimester. This time I found out I was pregnant because I went to the doctor about my awful constipation/ wind. He agreed it felt bad but asked if I was aware I was pregnant after feeling my belly.

I'm so sorry, my computer must have crashed because it said I was on page 3 but it must just have been the bottom of page 1/2. So sorry for your loss but your attitude and fight is inspirational. Zain is lucky to have had you as his Mummy. x

Thank you for responding Ghoulelocks. That has made me feel a little less panicked, knowing you have the same symptoms but a good out come!! XxX

Thank you SoYo for your lovely messages xxx

Rileylee my heart bleeds for you and I would share you all the best for any future attempts. Thank you so much for you wonderful words XxX

Just wanted to say sorry for your loss

Congratulations, praying all goes well for you .

Thanks lollyheart XxX

Hey Tash, I’m in a similar situation now with my lady and I’m so lost that idk what to do. She started losing amniotic fluid at 19 weeks. Carrying twin boys. All I can do is pray. Anywho, I hope all is well with you and yours! 🙏🏾

Hi, I'm supporting a lady who has many social and mental health issues. She is currently pregnant with her 4th child. She keeps changing how many weeks pregnant she is and had apparently been in hospital this week as her water have gone. She is between 22 and 30 weeks. And now she has said she has a rare 3rd lining of waters and the dr has sent her home?? Anybody else have this??she also has a hear tate of approx 34 bpm?? I don't know what to believe but just want to be there for her