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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

October mums - found out sex yet?

43 replies

Borisneedsahaircut · 18/05/2011 09:20

Going to?

I have my 20 weeks scan in about 2 weeks and hoping they will tell me the sex so what are you having?

....I have a feeling mine is another girl but then I should'nt go on instinct because I thought DD was a boy until the scan!!

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sunface · 18/05/2011 09:32

hey boris i have mine tomorrow! but as this is no3 and we already have 2 DD's we're thinking and assuming that we're having another girl, so not going to find out the sex. We found out with DD2 and kinda wished we hadn't. This will be our last so it'd be nice to have a surprise, even if it is another girl!!

Cattleprod · 18/05/2011 09:38

Nope, and don't want to find out either.

I don't really understand why people want to know. If you know you will inevitably choose the name and then try and project character traits and hopes onto your unborn child. I'd rather my newborn was a surprise and a blank canvas.

Renaissance227 · 18/05/2011 09:41

I agree with Cattleprod.
I'm due October 23rd and have my scan in three weeks but DO NOT want to know the sex.

Has anyone due in October felt movements yet?!

Cattleprod · 18/05/2011 09:45

Yes I've felt movements since about 14 weeks.

I know that's early though - I figured it's because it's my second baby and I'm hyper-aware of any feelings in that area after a mmc last year.

sunface · 18/05/2011 09:47

yup i know how you both feel. there are so few surprises in life. Renaissance, i'm about 20wks now i think and have only really felt little flutters and very low down too, just above the pubic bone? dont' remember them feeling that low down the last time...........

Cattleprod · 18/05/2011 09:47

In fact it's jumping about now. I'd forgotten how lovely it feels (until you get to the third trimester, hoof you in the ribs type kicks)!!

Cattleprod · 18/05/2011 09:53

Poor Boris, I'm sure there will be people along soon who do want to know.

I can kind of see the point of finding out if you're really into the pink/blue thing, or if there's a genetic reason. I just prefer the surprise myself!!

Bartimaeus · 18/05/2011 10:30

I'm in France so 2nd scan isn't until 22 weeks, so mine is in 10 days.

We're going to find out, mainly because DH really wants to, and I think that it's great he wants to be so involved (he's very frustrated by the 9 month wait!).

As for the pink/blue thing, I would like to avoid it as much as possible anyway because this is our first and we would like one or two more so I don't want to have to re-buy everything again!

KateeHasABunInHerOven · 18/05/2011 10:37

I have my scan in a couple of weeks too, and we're going to find out. I think actually holding my baby, that I'll have nurtured for 9 months and only caught brief glimpses of with scans, is going to be enough of a surprise at the end of it... it will be a surprise to find out at the scan as I don't really have any inkling one way or the other. We're not set on a name until s/he is born anyway as I think it will become evident whether the name is right or not as soon as we set eyes on him/her!

I am also guarding against any 'gender disappointment'... I will cherish (and do already) this baby regardless, but feel it is a good thing to be able to deal with it if I have any unexpected reactions without having to do that whilst in the whirlwind of a new (first) baby. Feel free to flame me for that, but I feel quite strongly about it

natwebb79 · 18/05/2011 10:46

We want to find out because a.) we're curious and b.) my mum's got a pile of non-unisex knitting patterns and wants to get cracking. I think that suggesting that by finding out we'll be 'projecting a personality' onto the child is a pile of ball bags!!

eastegg · 18/05/2011 10:46

Hi, I'm 20 weeks but hosp don't do scan until 23 so I have to wait for that. However, won't be finding out anyway. The moment of finding out when DS was born was absolutely the best moment of my life. I'll have that again please...

(Yes I know it would've been brilliant anyway, and I guess I'll never know for sure whether it would have been different, but I suspect it would)

KatieWatie · 18/05/2011 10:59

I'm due Oct 5th and had my scan last Friday. I didn't find out as I just like surprises and I hardly ever get any! I think DH would have liked to know (he already has 2 girls), but now it's too late I think he's glad he went along with what I wanted. This is my first baby and I'll be over-the-moon whatever.

Anyway our baby is such an active little 'rummager' that I don't think they could have worked out the gender if we'd even wanted them to.

Horses for courses but I like the idea of telling everyone what it is once it's actually arrived :)

Newmom2b · 18/05/2011 11:00

I have my scan at the beginning of June and I'm going to find out. I think it will help me to bond with my baby as I still dont really feel pregnant yet(is that weird?!).
This is my first and I think i've felt movement however not 100%. I get twinges and feelings randomly and if i'm lying down quietly and really concentrating i think I can feel flutters!

iWILLdothis · 18/05/2011 11:03

I've got my scan in 2 weeks. I didn't want to find out the sex, but DH really does want to. I'm coming round to the idea now, it has its benefits.... if it's a boy I can give away all DD's clothes that I've been storing just in case, leaving me lots of room in cupboards and drawers to store all the baby paraphernalia (sp?). Also, it makes name-choosing so much easier.
Katee I like the points you make about it still being a surprise when its born, even if you find out now....
I've been feeling flutters for a LONG time already :) and last week they started getting much stronger (18wks tomo).....loving it, to me it's the ONLY thing I like about being pregnant.

KatieWatie · 18/05/2011 11:06

Yes I think if it's not your first child there are definite benefits of finding out, the storage of clothes being one of them, and also perhaps to prepare the older child/ren.

AuroraLeigh · 18/05/2011 11:11

I'm due October 3rd and found out on Monday we're having a boy. I'm glad we found out but am still kind of shocked - I didn't realise how much I thought it was a girl until they said it was a boy! As this is going to be our first and only child, I'm both pleased and also mourning the daughter I won't have (but I read on another thread that this is quite common). It's a very active baby, apparently - I can feel it quite a bit and he never stops moving - in the scan he seemed to be waving at us :) But knowing what we're having has really, really helped me to bond with my baby (for one thing, I can stop referring to baby as 'it'!)

Cocoflower · 18/05/2011 11:14

Im finding out in less than a week now!

Cannot wait! My whole family thinks its a boy but I have had vivid dreams about it being either sex but I do think its a little boy....

(Stll doesnt feel real and this is dc2!)

iWILLdothis · 18/05/2011 12:51

One thing I'm worried about though is that they might get it wrong. Was talking to someone last week who was told the wrong sex, really knocked her at the time. You'd have bonded with the wrong thing....I might give away clothes that could have actually been used....

InMyPrime · 18/05/2011 14:44

Yes, due on October 1st and had my 20 week scan on Monday. We were eager to know the sex to make it all more real and stop referring to him as 'it' so we found out we're having a boy and that's exactly what my instincts were. I kept referring to the baby as 'he' and just couldn't seem to imagine a girl in there for some reason so I was right.

The surprise element was not attractive to me at all. After an MMC last year where I got the shock of my life at the scan, I have no desire for surprises in this pregnancy, good or bad. It will be surprise enough to see him as he is when he's born and figure out what kind of person he is and will be.

hmmmum · 18/05/2011 14:52

Cattleprod,
I think it's unbelievable that people say by finding out the sex you are projecting character traits and hopes onto your unborn child. You can do that anyway, (or not) after the child is born. Some people who have a girl and it's a 'surprise' at the birth will immediately shower them in pink and buy them barbies - there is nothing to say people won't do this just because they don't know beforehand what it will be!
As for it spoiling the surprise, well, knowing your child's gender is knowing one teeny thing about them. There will be a zillion surprises ahead, every single day, as you get to know your child and their personality, likes and dislikes etc. I may know my child's gender but I have no idea what she'll be like as a person and I can't wait to find out. I haven't painted the nursery pink nor do I have any preconceptions of who she'll be, but look forward to discovering that.
I think it's sad to think that my knowing the gender means that people are judging me in this way!!

hmmmum · 18/05/2011 15:13

p.s. never mind my last post - am being hormonal and overly sensitive!!

Cattleprod · 18/05/2011 15:25

I'm not judging you hmmmum, I'm just saying that I prefer to wait for the surprise and not have any gender preconceptions before the birth.

I know plenty of people who find out and then say stuff like 'Ooh, Evie's kicking a lot today, won't it be lovely when she's about three and I can take her to ballet lessons and we can do lots of girly stuff together'. And they'll take me to the nursery which will be already decorated in a feminine way, with 'Evie' in big letters on the door, and it seems so much of the childs life has been mapped out for her before she's even been born.

It's difficult to explain, but to me there's a big difference between creating a child's 'essence' on your own before they arrive, and allowing it to evolve naturally after you have met each other.

mpops · 18/05/2011 15:54

Cattleprod
I know plenty of people who find out and then say stuff like 'Ooh, Evie's kicking a lot today, won't it be lovely when she's about three and I can take her to ballet lessons and we can do lots of girly stuff together'. And they'll take me to the nursery which will be already decorated in a feminine way, with 'Evie' in big letters on the door, and it seems so much of the childs life has been mapped out for her before she's even been born.

But surely, anyone who thinks/says that will do exactly the same thing when the baby is here. I don't see why knowing will make any difference to how you view gender stereotypes.

Gender stereotypes make me crazy and I'll do my very best to raise my child to not think of themselves as anything other than a person, but I can't wait to find out the gender in a couple of weeks. That's only because it'll make it more real for me, rather than because I want to paint the nursery blue and buy him a plastic gun if it's a boy.

So yes, anyway: can't wait for the scan. There's a million things I'm worrying myself about for that day and gender isn't one of them. It'll just be nice to know.

Bumpsadaisie · 18/05/2011 16:19

We will definitely find out. Personally I find that the drama of labour and seeing what your child looks like after 9 months is surprise enough, without needing the sex to be a surprise too.

I just want to know as much as possible about the baby as soon as possible! Someone is kicking me and squirming about inside me, I would like to know who it is, please! As much as possible.

Its nothing to do with buying pink or blue or decorating nurseries (DD is nearly 2 and still hasn't got a nursery - note to self must do something about that!)

Original poster

Borisneedsahaircut · 18/05/2011 18:17

Thanks everyone - sorry been busy all day. I think finding out is just personal choice. My parents don't want to know until it's born so won't be telling them but I am just impatient I guess. I certainly won't be organising ballet classes yet anyway! I think you sort of build up a relationship with baby whatever it is but I find it a bit more real when you know.

I have one little girl now and most of her 0-3 months was white and cream anyway and so the new baby will be using mostly these - I'm not planning on doing a new wardrobe. The cot is white ad the walls are cream and thats the way it will stay!

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