Crazy sh*t they didn't tell me,,,

[lowra]

about being pregnant.

Just how absolutely knackered I would feel during the first trimester.

That the contents of my nose (snot) would be all bloody.

That some of my freckles and moles would grow and become darker

How anxiety inducing and worrying this whole business is.

What were your suprises?

That sometimes when you cough, you might fart and pee yourself slightly all at the same time!

My gums would bleed.

I would have indigestion and morning sickness at the same time when I was 20 weeks pregnant.

That walking is bloody difficult in the last few weeks of pregnancyu.

That I would go from a 34D to a 34 EE over night when my milk came in.

That they will want to look up my fanjo after I have given birth to check my stitches.

ooh yes I forgot about the coughing and peeing thing. This happened to me on the way to work the other day. Thank goodness I am now on maternity leave!

My gums have bled throughout this whole pregnancy too.

Bending over and vomiting abit.

Brown nipples and dark body hair.

Asking if it's okay that the student has a look up my front bum 'because she's never seen one of those.' Some of the placenta had been left behind and came out the next day.

that I would get hairier

I'm guessing the birth is going to bring a whole new book's worth of crazy suprises.

Yep agree to the peeing, the fact that the area around my nips is now huuuge, and that I have better sideburns than noddy holder circa 1972!

That I would cry all the bloody time!

That I'd not be able to sleep longer than two hours at a time.

That I'd get weird night cramps and night sweats.

That DP would fancy me more than usual and I would be sooooo not interested in what he wants!

That nowhere, nowhere, stocks decent black maternity jeans.

The crazy dreams

The immediate need to feed when hungry and the fact that you don't crave your cravings but Need them

Your bump can pop over night

That it's 10 months not 9!

How bloody expensive prams, maternity clothes and childcare are

jenga have you tried H&M for black maternity jeans?

That I'd find a strange stain on my sheets. When after blaming hubby that he'd been enjoying himself on his own a bit much that morning, he said,"Love, it's at chest height, on the edge of YOUR side of the bed" Yup, had a big old boobie leak and blamed him to begin with. I still claim it was him and not me!! :o

That morning sickness doesn't just magically go away at 12 weeks and can in fact last the whole pregnancy!

That tiredness can be an actual sickness that takes over your whole life.

That Doctors can blame anything on pregnancy and won't bat an eyelid unless your leg is falling off.

That colostrum can be bright orange

That the area around my nipples would look like bin lids

That you have to eat in the middle of the night on occasion

The sex dreams that can give you orgasms while you sleep.

Mind you, those were a nice surprise.

That all the hair you haven't been losing over the last nine months will fall out one week when your baby is three months old.

That pregnancy niggles are mild in comparison to a the whirlwind that is a newborn baby.

that my nips would look like 70's brown dinner plates and the veins on my chest resempble the spaghetti junction!

That buying a pushchair is more complex than buying a car.

That I would fall in love with my maternity trousers.

That when your waters break, its not necessarily just one gush - it can go on for hours and hours and hours......

That when you sleep (or sometimes just relaxing on the sofa) you drool like Homer with a box of doughnuts!

The itchiness!

Yes to the drooling! And snoring apparently...

That you have weird dreams which involve nearly everyone you have ever met.
That the baby will cause much rib pain.
That you you are exhausted for the 1st trimester during which you have to hide the exhaustion/nausea as no one knows you are pregnant.
That strangers will grope your tummy.
That everyone offers their opinion on the size of your tummy.

That my sex dreams became more exciting than actually having sex.

That my arse would grow big enough to eclipes the sun.

And if I reached up to get some thing from a high shelf in the supermarket I would fart

Yes to the opinions on tummy size too! I had "God you're huge" and "You're so neat" yesterday.

Jenga Topshop do great black maternity jeans :)

For me it was the blocked nose :( yep, the so called rhinitis of pregnancy that affects 20% of pregnant women, how lucky am I? :(
I am 10 weeks and feel like I have had a miserable cold EVERY day :(

The terrible bloating - it's OK when I wake up but by mid afternoon I look like I'm 6 months pregnant !