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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Crazy sh*t they didn't tell me,,,

141 replies

lowra · 20/03/2011 19:13

about being pregnant.

Just how absolutely knackered I would feel during the first trimester.

That the contents of my nose (snot) would be all bloody. Blush

That some of my freckles and moles would grow and become darker Confused

How anxiety inducing and worrying this whole business is.

What were your suprises?

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Staceroo · 20/03/2011 21:15

Haha... laughing at all of this! So much to look forward to!!!

Think I'm only a few weeks pregnant, but have experienced some of the above already! Glad to hear there's a reason for the dreams!!

Cyclebump · 20/03/2011 21:24

That your nipples can start leaking as early as 17 weeks.

SPD, enough said.

That gym balls cure hundreds of physical ailments.

That near the end you can feel baby's bottom through your tummy.

That you get massively horny just as sex becomes a physical challenge on a par with scaling Everest...

jenga079 · 20/03/2011 21:28

Loving this thread. Well done OP.

Darlingdamsel · 20/03/2011 21:30

That thanks to your bouncing baby, you can pee all over youself while doing a client presentation when it decides to bounce on your bladder. Shock

(I thought my waters broke and rushed afterwards to the hospital and they were like 'it happens all the time'.)

Luckily I was wearing black.

Pootletrinket · 20/03/2011 21:31

That catarrh could last for longer than morning sickness (12 weeks - but conveniently overlapped so had far longer feeling sick) and could actually make me physically sick everyday, unlike the morning sickness.

That being sick when standing up can make a bit of wee leak out (bit like sneezing when crouched to the ground)

Beesok · 20/03/2011 21:45

Darlingdamsel I peed myself laughing at your story Grin

CBear6 · 20/03/2011 21:46

That I would have dry-mouth from hell each morning.

That dreams are no longer pleasantly vague things that happen at night, instead they become very detailed and graphic and, at times, very realistic.

That babies don't always drop until well after labour is establish (at 6cm with DS before he moved his head into my pelvis) and that waters don't always break (10cm and still intact).

If stitches are required after birth no one told me that they'll get everyone in to have a look - the midwife, her supervisor, a student, the surgeon (just in case). Or that after doing the stitches they will ask if it's okay to have a feel inside your back passage "just to make sure I haven't stitched it shut" - to make sure you haven't done what!?!?

That constipation in pregnancy is putting it mildly and that pooping becomes a battle of wills between you and your digestive system no matter how much water, figs, or fibre you throw at it.

During the end of pregnancy the baby will sometimes decide to press his/her weight against a vital nerve, numbing it and causing your leg to stop working so that you do a passable impression of a comedy "gangsta" walk with one leg functioning normally and one buckling under your bulk weight.

Paracetamol is not effective against contractions.

aliwally · 20/03/2011 21:56

Hmmm where to start: big old brown nips, carpal tunnel syndrome in both arms, constipation and piles, little wees when laughing/coughing, facial hair stops growing, amazing libido(fab that one, esp given all the other stuff!!) but all worth it for the little bundle.

Kirisox · 20/03/2011 22:03

Yes drooling every night! And snoring.... And blood whenever I blew my nose too. It's a magical time

Skinit · 20/03/2011 22:07

That my teeth would crumble afterwards. That my feet would expand with my waist.

PoppetUK · 20/03/2011 22:13

in my third pregnancy I got a bloody ear infection that couldn't be treated due to the pregnancy and perforation. I'd had the painful surgery to correct it several years before but it only lasted a couple of years. Walked into the ENT's office only to find that all the ear troubles during pregnancy had spontaneously healed by ear drum which was 80% hole. Quite funny considering I'd lived with a bloody hole and problems of keeping it dry since I was 10 years old.

LittleWhiteWolf · 20/03/2011 22:14

This is my 3rd pg (although the 2nd didnt make it past 5 weeks) and I still forgot about the bone-wearing tiredness of the first trimester (mind you I didnt have a 20 month old to run around after the first time Hmm) and the blocked nose and congestion.

First time around I was surprised by the way my bump would grow all day and seem huge by bedtime, then in the morning it would be mostly gone again and that this would repeat seemingly ad infinitum. Nor that I wouldn't get a proper bump that strangers recognised as being a bump until about 7 months.

This time around I'm surprised by being fatter quicker and already finding it hard to do my jeans up. Even though I knew this could happen due to stomach muscles being slacker etc, I still feel oddly surprised by this--I'm only 7 weeks and have already purchased some work maternity trousers!

Ishtar2410 · 20/03/2011 22:30

That you could have a very slow labour that could last around two weeks. What joy! Contractions every 15 minutes for 14 days...fun, fun, fun. Not to mention the two 'false alarms' where you rush into hospital to be told: you are not in labour...and you've wee'd yourself Blush.

Nor that these two events would put you in denial when it actually kicked off and you might not actually make it to the lovely community hospital in time (we did, just!).

It was my third pregnancy...I have no excuses

Marabou · 20/03/2011 23:00

That your inner thighs hurt whenever you move your legs.

That you'll be more depressed than ever and wake up at 4am and feel so stressed you'll just cry yourself to sleep.

That your skin gets about two shades darker.

That sometimes the baby turning hurts.

That your feet swell up unrecognisable.

That you'll have 0 patience with people and their comments.

That all these things happen to you at around 31 weeks pregnant after pretty smooth sailing until then Hmm

magickcat · 20/03/2011 23:16

That I would get heartburn that feels like I have a roaring fire in my chest pretty much continuously for months..

That the phrase 'morning sickness' is in fact a lie and should be renamed any time sickness...

JBrd · 20/03/2011 23:39

That it's 10 months, not 9.

That for 7 of the 10 months, I would have a blocked nose and produce an unbelievable amount of bloody mucus/snot.

That there would be bugger all I could do about said blocked nose and bloody snot.

That morning sickness can last all day and you actually don't have to throw up, just feel like you're about to all the time.

That I would feel so so hot - been sleeping with an open window since October and never felt cold.

That the really nice maternity clothes are really expensive.

That I would actually outgrow some of my maternity clothes.

That turning over in bed would become a huge manoeuver that takes several minutes and sometimes a helping shove from DH.

colditz · 20/03/2011 23:47

that I would feel like taking a 9 month knockout pill and getting them to wake me just as the placenta popped out.

YogaMummy2B · 20/03/2011 23:54

That coming up to the last few weeks my sex drive would go stratospheric!!

That my downstairs lips would get swollen even before the baby had tried to pass that way!

Also with the nasal issues! Have not been able to breathe clearly for about 5 months now! And up until yesterday every blow resulted in a 5 minute nosebleed!

That I would be paranoid about every little move of my bub or lack there of!

BillBrysonsRucksack · 21/03/2011 07:41

That you might do a poo in labour Blush.

Nuff said.

wobblyweeble82 · 21/03/2011 07:55

That you can't be more than 40ft from a loo due to emergency wees that just won't wait;

That you'll get hairy toes;

That no matter how long you spend faffing with your hair, it'll just drop and hang like a pair of curtains after five whole minutes;

That your DH could easily be the most annoying person in the world;

That the first shower after childbirth resembles a scene out of the Chainsaw Massacre;

That you really don't care who wants to have a gander at your fanny or grab your boob and stuff it into your poor unsuspecting babies mouth - you're even happy for the janitor to have a pop...;

That your first poo after chidbirth is TERRIFYING and the the oh so disheartening moment when you go to restart your pelvic floor exercises and there's barely a flicker Shock;

That you deserve the biggest medal for growing that wee little bundle all by yourself and you'd quite like a pat on the back for doing so thank you very much Grin

CBear6 · 21/03/2011 08:28

wobblyweeble, so true about the shower even though it was best shower I have ever had.

That the first time I would pee after delivery would feel like I was passing molten lava spiked with barbed wire rather than harmless water.

That you will at some point lose the ability to put on your own socks. With DS this was around six months, he was big and lay towards the front so bending became impossible. DH used to leave for work while I was still asleep but he would peel back the duvet and pop socks on my feet before leaving each morning :)

That changing the nappy of a baby boy carries a shower risk. And that they will not only spray you, they will spray themselves. I lifted DS's legs to slide a nappy underneath and he managed to pee in his own face while I was doing it.

That newborn poop is black-green and the stickiest substance known to man. The hospital provide cotton wool to clean it up with, if the cotton wool is dry it just sticks and if the cotton wool is wet it just dilutes it and spreads it around. This is where visitors come in handy - "I think he's wet and I'm so tired, would you mind popping a dry nappy on for me? ........ sorry, I didn't realise he had pooped".

Nesting isn't always about cleaning. I was looking forward to having a gleaming show-home style level of neatness in the house. Instead my nesting instinct was to buy countless amounts of pillows and blankets, I think I thought I had to build an actual nest.

N

greenzebra · 21/03/2011 09:24

Oh I love this thread I have been laughing for ages hiding it in the office as Im not supposed to be on the web. ooops!

BalloonSlayer · 21/03/2011 09:33

That you don't "feel and look blooming and wonderful" in the second trimester.

You just don't feel and look as utterly shit as you do in the first and third trimester.

Joannezipan · 21/03/2011 09:43

That a bump could appear in the space of 4 weeks - I swear this baby is a ninja, either that or really good at hide and seek!

greenzebra · 21/03/2011 09:44

That it turns out this is not just my baby but my MIL's as well and that she has some claim to it as she gave birth to my DH

Black hairs really thick and long will apear on any place of your body including around the nipple area. YIKES!

That no where is comfortable for more than 5 mintues! well except for the gym ball.

That you will fall in love with the gym ball and start having dreams about it.

That you will start looking like your going through puberty again, as your face breaks out in craters and you look like a pizza, so much for blooming during pregnancy!