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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Shall I find out the sex of my baby at my 19 week scan?

164 replies

Enid · 23/10/2005 18:46

dh wants me to - we have 2 girls and, to be honest, he really really wants a boy and wants me to find out so he isn't horribly disappointed at the birth (if its another girl).

I don't care what I have (although having a boy would be easier in terms of family pressure!!)

I am hoping the baby will keep its legs crossed. I really don't want to know.

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CarolinaFullMoon · 23/10/2005 18:46

don't you like surprises enid?

Original poster
Enid · 23/10/2005 18:48

yes I do! but dh doesnt.

OP posts:
FrightfullyPoshFloss · 23/10/2005 18:49

Aww, poor DH. He's hoping his days of being terribly outnumbered might be over!! My Dp wanted to find out when I was pregnant. I wasn't opposing of the idea although I kind of liked the idea of not knowing. But he was soo excited when he found out it was a boy and said he found it made the whole thing more real for him. Can empathise with what he says about being dissapointed at the birth, but then, on the other hand, will he not just fall in love with the beautiful baby you have, whether girl or boy? Sorry thats not much help!

Tinker · 23/10/2005 18:50

Think I would for 3rd. Got rather frustrated when saw gorgeous clothes in sales that I couldn't buy.

CarolinaFullMoon · 23/10/2005 18:51

hmm. I would wait till the birth - he can't be disappointed then, will be too teary and choked up by it all.

Original poster
Enid · 23/10/2005 18:51

i've never done it before though and a bit worried that I might not like knowing!

OP posts:
Tinker · 23/10/2005 18:52

Hmm, do know what you mean. Could they just tell you husband? Or daft idea?

Original poster
Enid · 23/10/2005 18:53

I thought of that!

Then I'd spend the whole time trying to get it out of him and wouldnt be sure he was telling the truth

OP posts:
blueteddy · 23/10/2005 18:54

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Enid · 23/10/2005 18:55

hmmm

I'd like to think that. But he really will. So maybe I should just do it for him.

OP posts:
Tinker · 23/10/2005 18:56

But the never being sure would then still make it a surprise?

LadyTophamHatt · 23/10/2005 18:56

the way I look at it is this...
It's one or the other, there isn't a choice of 50 so it's not that much of a surprise

I should also point out that I HAD to find out

blueteddy · 23/10/2005 18:57

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 23/10/2005 18:58

Having said that, don't they only tell if all in the room want to know?

bubble99 · 23/10/2005 19:05

If he finds out and you don't, you'll know by his reaction anyway. I haven't found out with any of mine and I'm pleased I didn't, particularly last time.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 23/10/2005 19:08

Tell DH, that there is no such thing as, you know who and that there is a little life on its way into the world, and the sex doesn't matter.

It is the only surprise left in the whole wide world.

kid · 23/10/2005 19:09

I found out both times with mine as I didn't want to wait! I think it helps to find out half way through the pregnancy if you have a preference. That way you have another 20 weeks to get used to it. I have a boy and a girl, so if I had anymore, I wouldn't want to find out.

Dropinthe · 23/10/2005 19:09

I did with my second boy and wish I hadn't!

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 23/10/2005 19:13

no, not if you don't want to.
they get it wrong too, all the time
the was a woman in thenext bed to my sister. she had been told her baby was a girl (she had three boys already). anyway it was a boy again and she was just crying all the time and wouldn't even pick it up.
not saying that would happen to you but, seriously, would dh be horribly disappointed when presented with gorgeous newborn, of whatever sex?

spidermama · 23/10/2005 19:41

I would wait.

That moment is one of the most romantic in life.

In amongst the emotions and drama of a birth your dh will be in a state of open conciousness.
If it's a girl, it'll be easier to accept amongst the adrenalin and the special atmosphere created when a new being enters the world.

If it's a boy he'll go into orbit with unbridled joy.

The way I see it, it's a win/win situation.

Also, if it's a girl you'll both be prone to misery during the second half of your pregnancy and you might resent each other.

wallopyCOD · 23/10/2005 19:41

yes dont find out

wallopyCOD · 23/10/2005 19:42

no they wont tell just the dh we had the same at number three too

then we ffinally decided to ask and the abyhad moved!

Tumblemum · 23/10/2005 19:43

At my 12 week scan was given a picture that to me looked like a boy and I was sad for the girl that I would never have as likely last baby. Anyway showed to my mw and she said not a 'willy' what I was looking at. Now that I don't know I am much happier, I felt cheated of the surprise.

On reflection I am not going to find out this time (did not last time) as if it is a boy and I find out at 20 weeks I probably will feel sad for the girl I may never have. When the baby turns up it will be a surprise and like with ds will just be over the moon whatever my baby is. I will not have 20 weeks to think 'what if' as will have fallen in love with my baby.

Your DH knowing now could be counter productive if it is not what he is hoping for, it certainly was for me when I thought I knew.

polly28 · 23/10/2005 19:46

we found out and to be honest i wish we had let it be a surprise.

found it weird knowing

spidermama · 23/10/2005 19:46

When in labour with my third boy in a row I was saying to the midwife, 'I think she's stuck round the bend'.
When he emerged he was so gorgeous and warm and sticky and .... ooooh! You know how it is? I couldn't have been disapointed if I'd tried.
There was a little bit of light grieving a few weeks later, but so much easier to deal with because I was so madly in love.