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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else hate pregnancy?

100 replies

MrsVidic · 26/02/2011 19:16

Don't get me wrong, I really want my baby and understand how lucky I am to conceive easily and have low risk pregnancies.

But I hate the way I feel when pregnant. I go from an energetic, sporty, fulfilled and motivated person to feeling drained in every way.

I'm a crap mum when pregnant. I struggle to cook healthy meals from scratch as I can't stomach the smell. I take my dd swimming and watch the clock till we get out as I can't bare the cold!

I go completely off sex, am bed bound by 9 pm every night and get really bad heart burn.

Oh and to top it off I can only stomach bland unhealthy crap and I can only do about 50% of what I usually do at the gym so I get fat!

Oh and if you hadn't guessed I also turn into an ungrateful winging cow!

Someone tell me how to feel better please

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

charitygirl · 26/02/2011 19:27

Well, if having someone in the same boat helps...ME TOO! Am only 7.5 weeks but nausea roared in at FIVE weeks so I've been feeling sick as a dog 24/7 for two and a half weeks now, with probably at least another five to go.

Also haven't had sex in over a month. Every single meal I manage to make I know I won't be able to face again until the nausea is gone so I'm running out of options! I dread looking after my lovely son on my own as am so drained of enthusiasm and energy. Had to take a day off work this week which is unheard of for me and pointless as its not like lying in bed makes the nausea any better. However, as I keep pointing out to DH, if I felt this bad and WASN'T pregnant, I damn well wouldn't be at work/trying to carry on as normal.

Grump. I know (hope) the nausea won't last the whole time but its lasting a bloody long time and I remember I was none too enamoured of the later stages either, even though last one was very trouble free.

So I'm ungrateful too, but I never pretended not to be...

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 19:29

Not sure I can tell you how to feel better - sorry but what I can do is empathise and tell you your not alone.

I hate every single minute of it - like you, obviously I adore the babies it results in (I wouldnt be doing it for a 3rd time if I didnt!!) but pregnancy and birth is very much a means to an end to me - Im not one of these women who glows or enjoys the whole miracle - I do it because I adore the children and want them so, so badly - I count every day (I really do, as in a count down on a calender/ phone etc :-)).

I hate that Im so vulnerable in ways, that Im not quite as independant as my usual self - I cant do everything for myself (lifting, diy etc..), I get so tired and cranky and dont like my pregnant self, I would love a cigarette and I'd love a glass of wine () and I hate that I get so so fat, I want to wear nice clothes and feel pretty(ish), I hate how disgusting my pregnant body looks. I want to run around and roll and mess with dc out in the garden and I want to eat what I like. I want to be able to stay up past 9pm, I want my focus in work back..

Have I made you feel better yet?

How far along are you?

Original poster

MrsVidic · 26/02/2011 19:36

It feels so much better knowing I'm not alone! I totally get what you mean about counting the days- in my 12 week scan they told me I was 9 days further along than I thought I was and I was so happy I cried. Just knowing I have to do 9 less days cheers me up no end.

I quit smoking 2 years ago and I have never missed it so much! I was only a sociable one but boy do I crave one!

Oh I'm 17 wks plus 2

OP posts:

captainbarnacle · 26/02/2011 19:40

Oh yes - hands up, me too!

I esp hate the first half when I feel sick and tired and not at all pregnant so I can't even get excited about the baby.

Am 16w now and just back from a shopping trip with my boys - finally bought some maternity stuff and just tried it all on and feel a MILLION times better now!! I actually feel like I can leave the house and not look like an horrendous mess. Phew.

niamh29 · 26/02/2011 19:40

I'm 37 weeks with DD3 and I am a definite member of the "hate pregnancy" group, I hate all those "pregnancy is a wonderful natural experience" women and all those who say "god no, never had a days morning sickness"

I have bad sickness the whole way through, every time, I'm sick of the heartburn and being wrecked all the time, I hate struggling to get through the day and all I want is my bed. I can't wait till this pregnancy is over and I have my wonderful little girl out and safely in my arms and the I'LL NEVER HAVE TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN!!!

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 19:45

, thanks MrsVidic, Im usually made feel like some evil, selfish mother for not wanting to be pregnant for reasons like smoking and wine and vanity so its nice not to be judged . Im just much better with them out of my stomach!!! .

I was the same, I was told I was 6 days further at the scan (but they havent changed my dates??!! ) and was so happy. Im 26+2 (or 27 if I go by scan date).

Im now setting little "mini milestones" so the whole 40 weeks doesnt seem soooo long. I.e. the first 12 weeks (which we all count to anyway!), 20 weeks as it got me to "half way there", 24 weeks (as I was 6 months and this sounds like alot), my next one is 28 weeks as its 7 months pregnant plus its the start of the third and final trimester!!! . Then 30 weeks will be one as its 3/4 of the way there plus the countdown from 10 in weeks, 34 weeks (dont know why, just like the sound of it, 36 weeks as I'll sit my exams and its the end of college until September and 38 weeks (as its when Im starting maternity leave from work!!!!) - reaaaly sad, arent I?

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 19:49

captain completely know where your coming from - I felt so much better once I got some proper maternity gear as I felt ridiculous and uncomfortable walking about in normal clothes. First half is horrendous - think its also because no one knows your pregnant and you dont look it/ are not showing so OH (in my case any way) doesnt seem to connect with why your so sick/ tired/ cranky.

Niamh, I second the heartburn - its actually driving me insane. When I gave birth to dd (now 5), I remember thinking something wasnt quite right - then I realised I didnt have heartburn . Ill never have to be pregnant again either . We're finished at 3 - definately. (Although, if I didnt detest pregnancy so much, I would have probably went on to have a forth - as it stands though, nope, I couldnt bear to do this again)

Original poster

MrsVidic · 26/02/2011 19:52

I was explaining to a friend what pregnancy felt like and a answered " a constant hangover"

I stand by this still

OP posts:

maxpower · 26/02/2011 19:55

When I was expecting DD I sailed through pg and couldn't understand what other women were complaining about. However, pg with DS was a whole different story. Didn't have morning sickness (like with DD) but was exhausted the whole time, every bone in my body hurt, couldn't focus on anything (work was fun!) as had chronic baby brain and I was a totally bad tempered cow to my DH. I felt really guilty that I couldn't manage to play with DD and tbh just wanted to stay in bed the whole time. I could have merrily gone on mat leave at 20 weeks (if it was allowed and I could have afforded to). So now, I have every sympathy for anyone having a crap pregnancy. Good luck ladies!

forehead · 26/02/2011 19:59

When i had my last child,i was so happy , not only because i had a beautiful child, but i didn't have to go through pregnancy again

freelancegirl · 26/02/2011 20:04

Definitely agree with the hangover feeling. Without any of the fun of getting there! For me it's almost like the day after a horrible stomach bug: I am well enough to move around and function but feel queasy, tender and tired all the time and can only eat certain things - yes bland, fattening, carby ones.

I feel unattractive even though to the outside world I haven't really changed yet (I feel ridiculously grateful the couple of times I have seen men looking at my appreciatively). I have put on 4-5lbs I think but nothing that has really made me look huge.

So no, I don't like being pregnant so far - it's my first and am 9 weeks so still not telling people and waiting for that all important scan - but am hoping it gets better as you get into the 2nd trimester....? And all I can worry about is 'is this it for my figure?'. I keep reading horror stories about loose fannies (sorry!) or post C section over hang bellies and boobs that stretch down to the waist. Sigh.

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 20:09

Hey Misvidic! this thread has made it on to discussions of the day already!!

reddaisy · 26/02/2011 20:13

MrsVidic - I also hate being pregnant and I feel guilty because I don't have any serious pregnancy problems just the usual exhaustion, nausea, lack of control over my body.

I also describe it as a hangover but for me the "party" was 10 weeks ago and counting! Pregnancy just feels so, so long as well.

It does seem ungrateful to express these feelings because so many struggle to conceive but it doesn't make it any easier. I hate not having the energy to cope with DD/work the way I usually do. I always take DD swimming and this week I just couldn't face the drive/getting changed/the swimming bit/the showers/getting changed again/drive back so I didn't take her and I felt like a mean mum.

I am desperately hoping that after 12 weeks I will feel better. This is my second child and I always wanted three, DP wants to stop at two and I have told him to film me telling him how tired etc I am now to put me off when I start asking for three!!

reddaisy · 26/02/2011 20:14

BarbieLovesKen - have you decided on a name for your LO yet? I have been on a couple of your baby name threads...

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 20:18

I remember you reddaisy!! (huge congratulations btw!!) Sadly no well, its definately Kate (Anne Elizabeth) for a girl but a boy's name is still absolutely stumping us. DH and I were discussing it today and said a boy will just have to be "boy" or "little willy man"

reddaisy · 26/02/2011 20:25

Barbie - I'm not sure about "Boy" as a name (bit obvious maybe?) but LittleWillyMan - now that truly is beautiful!!!

We don't have a boys name either. Kate is gorgeous.

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 20:41

Thanks reddaisy . LittleWillyMan it is then!! . Do you have a girls name though? (nosey emoction) boys names are sooo hard...

A1980 · 26/02/2011 20:45

Trade places with me all of of you.... severe PCOS and a prolactinoma, and a shit chance of ever hating being pregnant as I'll probably never get pregnant. God knows I've tried.

Anyone want to swap places with me?

reddaisy · 26/02/2011 20:45

Georgia is top of the list for a girl at the moment. But there are loads we like. They are easy. Boys names are so tough, DP vetos most of them!

The only one we can agree on is Thomas but it is very popular and one of my uni friend's has just named her son Thomas. I don't know if it is special enough but I do really like it.

reddaisy · 26/02/2011 20:48

A1980 - I am really sorry you are struggling to conceive. It must be so, so difficult to come to terms with. We do all feel guilty for grumbling.

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 20:52

Of course no one here would want to swap places with you A1980, Im so sorry you are having such a terrible time .

I think its ok to hate pregnancy though. Im sure every single person on the thread wants and adores their dc as much as the next person, but I think its ok just not to particulary like the part that gets the actual baby here.

Baby2b · 26/02/2011 21:04

This thread has made me feel a lot better. I used to tell myself that if I got pregnant I would never moan, after all it's not an illness but a blessing.

I hate it :(

Nearly 15 weeks and the sickness is starting to subside but I still feel wiped. Feels like I have had the worst hangover for 2 months. I would like my social, energised self back please! I would also like people to stop trying to make me eat ginger biscuits :)

BarbieLovesKen · 26/02/2011 21:09

PML at ginger biscuits.. I know!! oh and whoever said pregnancy wasnt an illness was a man. As charitygirl says "However, as I keep pointing out to DH, if I felt this bad and WASN'T pregnant, I damn well wouldn't be at work/trying to carry on as normal."

Reddaisy Georgia is absolutely stunning. I love it. Thomas is gorgeous (and one we've considered big time but like you, worried about the "not special enough" factor)

reddaisy · 26/02/2011 22:10

Thanks Barbie - we like it! The only problem with Georgia is that it is also(bear with me on this), DP's ex-wife's boyfriend's daughter's name!

So DSD could end up with a stepsister (if they got married) and a half-sister with the same name. But we have only met that Georgia once and we would only ever potentially see her once a year really so DP thinks we should still go with it as we have liked it for ages.

The special boys names we like are probably going to take more bravery than I have. We both like Xavier for example but we know we would never name a DS it just in case. It is very tricky. If you got with LittleWillyMan, I might pinch Boy in the end

PinkFondantFancy · 26/02/2011 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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