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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else hate pregnancy?

100 replies

MrsVidic · 26/02/2011 19:16

Don't get me wrong, I really want my baby and understand how lucky I am to conceive easily and have low risk pregnancies.

But I hate the way I feel when pregnant. I go from an energetic, sporty, fulfilled and motivated person to feeling drained in every way.

I'm a crap mum when pregnant. I struggle to cook healthy meals from scratch as I can't stomach the smell. I take my dd swimming and watch the clock till we get out as I can't bare the cold!

I go completely off sex, am bed bound by 9 pm every night and get really bad heart burn.

Oh and to top it off I can only stomach bland unhealthy crap and I can only do about 50% of what I usually do at the gym so I get fat!

Oh and if you hadn't guessed I also turn into an ungrateful winging cow!

Someone tell me how to feel better please

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tonythetyger · 27/02/2011 09:37

Being pg is a great blessing. Full stop. Yes the symptoms can make you feel miserable, exhausted and depressed but trust me the alternative (providing this is a desired pregnancy) is 10 times worse. I have 1 ds and had a normal sickness, heartburn, twingey etc pg with him.

I then had a miscarriage 2 years ago. It has taken me nearly 2 years to conceive again involving painful, embarrassing and unsucessful fertility investigations. Every day I am thankful that I feel nauseous, exhausted and even stressed that I'm going to lose the babies (it's twins) again. To add to the mix I have type 1 diabetes which is worse than the most severe form of GD except it never goes away, you have it from the start of every pg (ie life), have to take extreme care with it while trying to conceive and it automatically makes me incredibly high risk.

I am grateful for every day of pregnancy I get because I know what the alternative is. That gives me the strength to get through the difficulties of each day. Pregnancy is a short period in your life. If I manage to carry this pregnancy successfully it will have taken 3 years to get there.

I agree that there is nothing wrong in moaning about the uncomfortable bits, no one is saying it's a great deal of fun, but "hating" it? I hope you don't come to understand just why you should be grateful for every twinge and inconvenience.

Mercedes519 · 27/02/2011 09:38

And I remember years ago I asked a pregnant friend why she was counting in weeks. She said "because it takes so bloody long...."

Be thankkful you're not an elephant. 16 months and on your feet for all of it!

captainbarnacle · 27/02/2011 09:45

tonythetyger - you are making rash assumptions about the ladies on this thread who are fed up with pregnancy. I am sure many of us have known the horror of miscarriage. Please do not assume we have not.

lucybrad · 27/02/2011 09:47

I hated being pregnant - was estactic to be pregnant but hated the symptoms, and couldnt wait for it to be over. But now, with my DD at 9 weeks old, I strangely feel broody all over again!!

tweedlezee · 27/02/2011 09:47

Glad you are enjoying it tonythetyger long may it last.

i wonder if elephants get swollen ankles too, poor things. :)

inbetweener · 27/02/2011 09:52

Well I must say Im not overly ebjoying it either and I also had an early miscarriage last year before falling with this one.
This is my third pg and its been the worst. Constant sickness, constant tiredness, ( a fulltime job and 2 other children make that worse though )and bleding throughout.
I know I am blessed and I know I am lucky but I can still complain here of all places cant I !!

I dont think that makes me a " selfish, ungrateful cow " does it ????

Georgimama · 27/02/2011 09:52

I've had 2 MCs in six months since having DS1 (aged 4) and took nearly 3 years to conceive him. On top of the hungover/tired/heartburn feelings I spend every day of pregnancy in a state of mental anguish that today may be the day something goes wrong. I am naturally, overjoyed to be having another shot at having another child.

Is it OK for me to hate pregnancy now? Having proved my credentials?

Actually, screw the credentials - fuck off with your biscuits and sanctimony. If you want to discuss infertility, go and discuss it somewhere else. This is a perfectly innocuous thread about how tough 9 months can be. You can hide it if it offends you so much.

tonythetyger · 27/02/2011 09:55

I don't see what's rash about an assumption based on "I'm low risk and conceive at a drop of a hat". All the people who have had difficulties have moaned but not gone as far as saying they "hate" it.

tweedlezee · 27/02/2011 09:57

I reckon you can, now get moaning, mwahaha.

I forgot the cramp. Oh the cramp, stretching out at night and getting cramp, then not being able to get back to sleep for fear of it happening again.
I think these things are why my mother always managed to look at me with Love and disgust at the same time all my life :o

ThisIsYourSong · 27/02/2011 10:08

Yes, I am the luckiest person in the world to be pregnant and to be (hopefully) giving birth to a healthy beautiful little baby in a few weeks. Yes, I also hate some days/some parts of it and can't understand why people do it again and again!

I have Endometriosis, PCOS and DH has high abnormals and low count and have had ICSI. I am finding this pregnancy really tough, and one of the main reasons is I have two little boys to look after and I feel like I'm being a crap mother and letting them down.

I think its telling how many people on here who hate being pregnant have other children - if it was all about me, then I don't think I would hate it. But being sick and not having the energy to be a good mother and sometimes not even having the energy to get out of the house sucks for them. But then getting out of the house means I am exhausted and aggravates my back pain and that's when I hate being pregnant.

No matter how much I wanted this baby or what I've been through or how much I know how lucky and blessed I am, pregnancy is bloody hard!

tweedlezee oh yes, the cramp. This morning my leg completely seized. I couldn't even stretch it to try and get rid of it, the whole leg just wouldn't move!

Georgimama · 27/02/2011 10:15

Hear, hear thisisyoursong. In fact, one of the reasons I am finding pregnancy so tough is the sure and certain knowledge of just how hard it would be to get pregnant again if it does go wrong. Plus DS1 who is a lovely child but can be a little devil full of beans and needs a lot of attention and energy.

reddaisy · 27/02/2011 10:39

ThisisYourSong - good point. I didn't enjoy pregnancy last time but this time it is definitely worse and you are right, it is because I feel I am letting DD down by not being as energetic as always and I feel guilty when DP has to do more to compensate when I am too tired to get off the sofa in the evening.

electra · 27/02/2011 10:41

I don't enjoy pregnancy at all - you are not alone. Always much happier once the baby has come out!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 27/02/2011 10:44

If one more person asks me if I am blooming now I will fecking lamp them. I do NOT bloom in pregnancy, I just get fatter, more tired and achey.

I would very much like to go to sleep now and wake up with a snuggly newborn in my arms.
And a completely potty trained ds would be nice too

StrangewaysHereICome · 27/02/2011 11:20

Due today with number three - this has been the worst pregnancy, so uncomfortable and to top it all I am now looking at being overdue which has never happened before. I have felt sick all the way through, back ache, piles, swollen bits, can't reach my feet, can't breathe, can't walk, can't sleep ...

JUST GET THIS BABY OUT

Thanks, I feel a bit better now .

Original poster

MrsVidic · 27/02/2011 12:23

The reason I started the thread is to have a place to vent, I know I sound ungrateful but I'm struggling. Surley I can ask if others feel the same tonythetiger?

I aggree with others who say it is made worse by the guilt you don't have energy for your dc's.

Does anyone else get travel sick with themselves driving? This is a constant preg thing for me!

Also I can not do the food shop, it's like the part of my brain which makes the meal planning decision has vanished! I always come home with barley a thing but have spent lots of cash on crap!

OP posts:

3littlebadgers · 27/02/2011 13:08

I love the middle bit when i have a nice neat bump that is not too big to be uncomfortable but big enough so I don't look like I have installed shelves randomly around my body (which for some reason I always do at the begining... boobs, hips, bum, lower tummy yuck!) I even had people I only know to see racing accross the street to comment on my sudden weight gain the last time .
I always go over due so the end is always a waiting game for me. DS2 was born overseas so they wouldn't induce me till gone 3wks over my due date! I tell you my DH was beating me off with a stick claiming he felt used and refused to accompany me on my four mile pleasegetoutmytummynow-- walks when they turned into four mile lunges. You name it I tried it and non of it worked. Little scamp has been as stuborn as they come ever since!

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 13:10

"screw the credentials - fuck off with your biscuits and sanctimony"

wow, you are MEAN!

I think threads where people get things off their chest and do a bit of healthy venting are great - but attacking people? Are you going to teach your kids to do that when they are born?

Velvetcu · 27/02/2011 13:13

I suffered an mmc last year and while I agree yes you should have a place to vent if you are finding symptoms uncomfortable/difficult, I do take offense at the title of your thread. Please bear in mind that while people do not have to come in here and read your posts, we do still have to see that title on the pregnancy board.

I little forethought on your behalf would have been nice so as not cause hurt/anger/distress to those of us who count every symptom as a blessing (even if we aren't particularly enjoying all of them).

tweedlezee · 27/02/2011 13:28

I'd advise anyone who has issues with this thread to start their own. Suggested name? "I love being pregnant and hate those that say they don't"

I wont be offended, i just won't stop by. The End

And i don't think Georgimama is being mean, maybe she is sick of being patronised by martyrs?? Just a thought.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 27/02/2011 13:30

Sorry to all those it may offend, but I truly hated each of my 3 pregnancies. Of course I am grateful to have 3 amazing children, but I cried for hours at even the thought of ttc no 3, just because I knew how the pregnancy would make me feel. The fact that I chose to go through pregnancy shows how much I wanted my children- I think some of the offended parties here are confusing hating pregnancy for being indifferent to conceiving, and they are two very very different things.

Firstly, given my mum's history of miscarriage, molar pregnancy, then 2 stillbirths, I never ever took getting pregnant to mean that I would necessarily have a baby. This meant 9 months of constant anxiety and worry.

Secondly, I get really really depressed during pregnancy. Was never diagnosed as ante-natal depression as such, but it was awful, especially in subsequent pregnancies where I had small children to care for. I'm guessing noone here would tell a woman suffering from post-natal depression that she is a whinging cow and she should be grateful she has a baby???

We have all said we are truly grateful for our children, just didn't enjoy the journey getting there- what is awful about that?

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 13:42

tweedlezee Try to remember that the OP was orginaly a question "Anybody else hate pregnancy?" The answer for many, including myself is "No" and its only fair that you let us have a voice and explain our reasons, rather than try to banish us to another thread. If you dont want to hear both sides, you should have a title that doesnt ask a question like that.

The reason many of us dont hate the discomforts of pregnancy is that it reminds us that our babies are still alive. I think many of us would like to go back to the days when pregnancy was all about complaining about the nausea etc, but for a great great number of women who have experienced infertility, mc, or stillbirth, pregnancy will always feel like a blessing.

Why is telling someone to "fuck off" not mean?

Georgimama · 27/02/2011 13:50

Pregnancy is a blessing. Doesn't mean every moment is like being kissed by cherubs.

In all honesty I don't care if you think I am mean. But please, do follow the suggestion above, and find a thread about PND. I'm sure the OPs on such threads would find it immensely useful to be told they should be glad to have a baby and pull themselves together. I'm sure they would find it instructive.

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 14:03

You have every right to moan about being pregnant, I am sure I will moan about it too at one point. No one has told you to pull yourself together and be glad. Its just that lots of people dont share your viewpoint and are trying to explain why. Try and be tolerant of that.

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 14:06

...and I am sure SPD is truly awful, but I honestly would rather have that than the mmc at 14 weeks, 11 invaise treatments to remove tissues, molar pregnancy, ashermans syndrome, infertility, surgery, and then hormone treatment, that I suffered for 11 months last year.

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