Anyone else hate pregnancy?

[MrsVidic]

Don't get me wrong, I really want my baby and understand how lucky I am to conceive easily and have low risk pregnancies.

But I hate the way I feel when pregnant. I go from an energetic, sporty, fulfilled and motivated person to feeling drained in every way.

I'm a crap mum when pregnant. I struggle to cook healthy meals from scratch as I can't stomach the smell. I take my dd swimming and watch the clock till we get out as I can't bare the cold!

I go completely off sex, am bed bound by 9 pm every night and get really bad heart burn.

Oh and to top it off I can only stomach bland unhealthy crap and I can only do about 50% of what I usually do at the gym so I get fat!

Oh and if you hadn't guessed I also turn into an ungrateful winging cow!

Someone tell me how to feel better please

Pink - problems are all relative though aren't they? So because someone has got a broken leg they shouldn't complain because someone else in the same hospital is dying?

We all prefaced our comments by saying how grateful we are to be pregnant, and I know I truly, truly am. And I cannot imagine the pain of being unable to conceive. However that does not mean that everyone "takes" to being pregnant. Some women love it and some women struggle.

I had a friend who had IVF for two years, then when she finally conceived she had a stillborn baby at 8months. Two years later she conceived again and she suffered from morning sickness and complained about it. Perhaps I should have told her she had no right to complain and that she was lucky to be pregnant again? Of course I didn't, I sympathised with her, gave her some advice and made her drinks because that was the right thing to do.

I'm sure no-one on this thread wants to upset anyone who is struggling to conceive but we are allowed to express our feelings about pregnancy too.

Oh for goodness sake - the ladies on this thread do not intend to upset people who currently are having difficulties in getting pregnant. That's such a sanctimonius attitude.

My friends and I often moan about how little money we have/men leaving the loo seat up/ wanting the latest shoes or what have you. That doesn't mean we're not grateful to live in a free country where we have some disposable income and are not in fear of our lives from a despotic dictator.

Being pregnant is difficult - that doesn't mean the ladies on this thread are not grateful for being lucky enough to be in this position.

Get off your high horse. Please.

Jeez all I'm saying is it's not so bad, smile and think about the amazing stuff that's happening in your body right now.

I think it is more than a little unreasonable to hijack a thread where someone is just looking for an empathetic ear to share a bit of the not-quite-so-wonderfully-beautiful-and-life-enhancing aspects of pregnancy by trying to force them to feel guilty for even being pregnant in the first place if they're going to have a wee moan.

Please don't tell me, pink that you actually think that women who may have gone through significant fertility treatment, if they did conceive, would never utter a whisper of a complaint at any point in their pregnancy?!

The OP's very first words were that she feels lucky and how much she wants her baby, so why not get off your high horse? This isn't a place to claim the moral high ground, these ladies are just sharing their experiences and I would imagine they would not in a million years hijack an infertility forum to make unhelpful remarks, as that would be so incredibly insensitive and wrong.

And this comes from someone who actually loves being pregnant, but that doesn't mean I've not let out a wee moan to DH when I'm so huge I can't get my socks on or am out of breath walking up the stairs to bed!!

x-posts pink...

fair enough then, but maybe you should have just said that! As that's not what you were actually saying in your post!! So bound to get some reactions...

the bottom line is, yes, it is amazing, but not always as easy as a walk in the park..

Ok girls, no need to flame me! Hope you all start to feel better and get to a more enjoyable stage soon.

just because we hate pregnancy does not mean we don't appreciate how fortunate we are.

I am (now) delighted to be having my 5th child but pregnancy is definitely a means to an end. I can't eat due to horrendous reflux and heartburn, I have SPD which is getting worse every day, I barely sleep due to insomnia and restless leg syndrome and I am constantly knackered as I'm anaemic!

BUT I am 30+1 and can officially start the single figure countdown :)

And definitely, people who struggle to get pregnant don't spend the whole of their pregnancy in a rosy glow either. I have a few friends who have had IVF/ problems conceiving, like us they are desperate for a baby but suffer from the pregnancy niggles just the same.

I have struggled to conceive A1980, I also have PCOS. I have spent 10 yrs ttc or pg, now pg with my 3rd. So believe me I do appreciate how lucky I am to be pregnant. Truly I do. I love the fact that I am pregnant. I still feel like shit though! I can't muster the energy to cook properly. I keep falling asleep. I'm struggling to look after the children I have. If we are lucky enough for it all to go well, then it will be worth it in the end.

Good luck to those still trying, but don't put yourselves under pressure by expecting it to all be easy and perfect when you do get there. Everyone is allowed to find it a bit difficult at times.

I hate it too. Feel awful and knackered all the time.

I'm 36 weeks today, booked in for a section in 30 days time, and I am literally counting the hours.
This is our last baby, and so I won't have to do this again - thank God.

I know I am fortunate, we've conceived incredibly easily both times, but that doesn't make it any easier to get through the day when you feel sick/exhausted/have heartburn/SPD/can't bend over.

If only it was possible to go to sleep for 9 months and wake up when it was all over

Please all of you don t always expect the best at the end either .My 4 th pregnancy after 3 MCs resulted in my dd being stillborn at 41 weeks in October 2010 .

Don t mean to scare people but to me if i concieve again [currently had another CP since my dd] the whole process will be an absolute nightmare until i have a living breathing baby in my arms and don t leave hospital empty handed again.

Oh just re-read my post don t mean it ll happen to you .Hope it won t happen to any of you but never thought i would be one of the 17 per day also.

Oh Louisesh, so sorry to hear about your DD. How utterly heartbreaking for you. Best of luck for the future.

17 per day? I have never heard that statistic before. How sad.

Louisesh that was why I was careful to say "if we are lucky enough" I know two couples irl who have lost babies at term. An awful thing to happen. I'm sorry for your loss, all the best for the future.

love mn for a bit of controversy

i struggle to conceive, struggle to carry when i do, and the one successful pregnancy i have had i was awfully sick with morming sickness at the beginning and then had pre-eclampsia and hellp so badly at the end i nearly died and my dd was delivered prematurely by emergency c-section (despite that i did quite enjoy being pregnant although it was awful at the same time). if i do manage another pregnancy i will likely moan about the rough bits at times, it certainly won't mean i am any less grateful for a growing bean.

i don't usually read the pregnancy board as i feel too fragile at the minute regarding that and feel a bit of a fraud being on it; i only clicked on this one because it was on discussions of the day. however, mn is a free for all and if you think that you will be offended by the posts don't read them. that doesn't mean, it isn't a good place for discussion if you can handle it, but if you know you are likely to be upset by someone's thread - steer clear: the clue is usually in the title

I agree with op. The worst thing is this lack of energy and the general consensus that you are not ill so deal with it.

I say that if men had to go through pregnancy and labour, artificial incubators would have already been invented. Love the babies at the end, could easily do without the "10 months" gestation.

I am totally aware of how lucky I am to be pregnant though

I just wanted to add-I'm pregnant so I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to post here. I'm hopefully having my first baby this year, having MC last year. The wait to get the BFP again almost drove me round the bend, and so, so far, this permanently grim feeling is definitely preferable. Of course I agree that being pregnant without having to live with my head down the toilet would be better, and I agree with the difficulty of appearing to be vaguely competent at work when all my effort is spent on not falling asleep/puking on a colleague. Having said that, as soon as the sickness eases I panic it's all gone wrong and end up hoping that the sickness will be back the next day.... But that's probably because even before pregnancy I would worry if I didn't have anything to worry about.

Wow were getting loads of posts! I think it's really important to be able to have a safe place to moan where you can do so freely, hopefully without offending anyone!

One of the reasons I started this thread is because of the guilt I feel hating bring pregnant, because I'm aware of how lucky I am to be so.

I would not be so vocal in rl as some close friends really struggle ttc.

Also I never get to the enjoyable stage as the heartburn comes when the sickness goes.

Also it's the lack of fitness that I work hard for all year round that makes me feel crap. You can't trust your body when your preg

Thanks redaisy yes 17 babies a day are stillborn according to SANDS more than are lost to cot death but there is very little information out there about it unlike cot death where there is loads.Or 1 in 200 babies are stillborn.

thingumybob thanks X

I love this thread!!! (well the moaners, not the haters!)
I TOTALLY AGREE - as has been said I love DS1, he's my world and was thrilled and terrified when I got pregnant with DC2 (9wks) as DS1 is 10months. So little ones very close together. Fun!? Lots of fun I'm sure except for this bit...the pregnant bit!!
The list - vomiting at the site of anything, just getting over this but have lived on rice cakes alone for 9wks. Went back to work 3days before i found out i was preg. and now spend days at home with DS1 and evebings in work until 11. Wake up at 6am KNACKERED!!!
I am usuallu full of energy and get up and go, but my get up and go got up and left me.
Sex?? Pfft! God knows how i got pregnant can't even remeber what it is. I pass out as soon as i get to bed or worse, my head is full of rage and aggressive thoughts (hormones) that I can't sleep and manage 3hours all night.
This is EXACTLY the same as last time, no question. Except that i am gonna try REALLY hard not to put on 5stone cos i've barely lost any of the last lot If i did my birth may be at home as i don't think i'd get out the door!! :)

And ladies who are trying for babies, good luck. No one is saying they hate their future children or that they are even unhappy they conceived but purely, as I hope you get to experience soon, that pregnancy ain't all fun and games. it is as mnetioned a means to an end ....like child birth. I bet there are a few people that could have a good moan about that too but you gotta do it to get the prize at the end.

SO many typos -sorry. typing with DS1 hanging off my leg.

I was reading one of those pregnancy magazines, and that diary bit where a women talks about her particular experience at a particular time (24-40 months - bit vague i thought) and she said, and I quote "I never knew how wonderful being pregnant is" I threw the magazine across the room and had a rant at DP.

I'm 39 weeks today. Which is annoying because I'm thinking "oooh, only a week to go" but it could very well still be another 3.

that being said when I feel him kick I've never felt more joy

Annpan88 - I think that is why so many women feel guilty for NOT feeling amazing. LIke they are letting someone down. They're not, because if i had an illness that made me feel like this all the time i would definitely a: moan and b: stay in bed, but i'm supposed to walk around saying "yeh everythings fine, the bags under my eyes, the pain in my hips, the heartburn and vomiting, the fatigue and the craving for 20 mars bars a day oh and the chafing of my thighs caused by these mars bars are all part of the wonders and eternal joys of bringing a baby into this world"

Good luck btw, hope it all goes well

I was you last year and am sooo glad not to be pregnant any more!

(for the record both my children were through fertility treatment. I know how lucky I am)

BUT by the end I couldn't walk (SPD), eat (heartburn) or sleep (twitchy legs/heartburn/weeing). These are fundamental things in life which I couldn't do so I was a miserable cow for months. Lucky DS and DH .

But you have to look forward to after. Remember the heartburn disappears instantly, you sleep so much better straight away (when you can) and SPD gets loads better as all that weight has been removed. And you have your gorgeous bub to look at.