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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else hate pregnancy?

100 replies

MrsVidic · 26/02/2011 19:16

Don't get me wrong, I really want my baby and understand how lucky I am to conceive easily and have low risk pregnancies.

But I hate the way I feel when pregnant. I go from an energetic, sporty, fulfilled and motivated person to feeling drained in every way.

I'm a crap mum when pregnant. I struggle to cook healthy meals from scratch as I can't stomach the smell. I take my dd swimming and watch the clock till we get out as I can't bare the cold!

I go completely off sex, am bed bound by 9 pm every night and get really bad heart burn.

Oh and to top it off I can only stomach bland unhealthy crap and I can only do about 50% of what I usually do at the gym so I get fat!

Oh and if you hadn't guessed I also turn into an ungrateful winging cow!

Someone tell me how to feel better please

OP posts:

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Georgimama · 27/02/2011 14:09

Actually, the first post to raise the suggestion that we shouldn't be moaning (A1980's post at 20:45) did pretty much say "pull yourself together and be glad" with an added dash of "try having fertility problems like me" which as we have seen, plenty of people on this thread have had.

Georgimama · 27/02/2011 14:10

And now you've just done the same thing.

Sigh.

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 14:12

Pink's post isnt there anymore so I cant comment, but dont you think you started that game first with "try having SPD?"

tweedlezee · 27/02/2011 14:26

I give up - way to ruin the party people. Was having a good old un-abashed moan before the wind was taken from my sales.
Was nice to find some peeps who felt like i did for once instead of condescending ante-natal yummy mummies who made me feel like i should be grateful of the vericose veins in my legs, like it was my price to pay for bringing life into the world. maybe it is but didnt stop my mother from blaming me for her saggy tits anf wide hips whilst i was growing up. supposed i'm not allowed to mouth off about that either when i'm 40 because i should be grateful for it as its my marks of having children? or when the menopause kicks in? or when my period comes because it shows i'm fertile? pff!
i just think its unfair to hijack a thread just to sit on a high horse and tell others their emotions are wrong. is nowhere safe from the pregnancy magazine readers who tell us theyre blossoming? maybe youre all lucky and enjoy it....but some dont so get off their backs!!!

i'm walking away as its a: not fun and b: just gonna get me irritated and god knows with my hormones i do not need that. my blood pressure will get high and my ankles will swell but its all part of the joy of giving life to the world ay?!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 27/02/2011 14:27

For goodness sake- it's becoming like a "well you think THAT's bad" contest now!

Obviously fertility problems, miscarriages etc are truly awful, noone is saying they aren't.

Children, and their conception, are a blessing. Pregnancy is not. The journey to an outcome is not always a "blessed" thing. Ask a refugee if they enjoyed their journey from whatever hellhole they have escaped.It's likely that their passage was not pleasant, after all. If they didn't, are they selfish and ungrateful for their escape? No, the journey is a means to an end, not necessarily enjoyable, but necessary. People can appreciate the likely outcome of pregnancy without liking pregnancy itself.

perpetuallypregnant · 27/02/2011 14:36

Meh - Im off
We have a moan about the ills of pregnancy and are informed we may have stillborn babies and we are lucky because we didn't have to have IVF etc....

Nice - cheers for that

And I am well aware of all of these things and have every sympathy but I would not go around telling people how they are supposed to feel just because I had a different experience.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 27/02/2011 14:38

mummyabroad - no-one is saying that they would rather have experienced the problems you have had.
But you have no right to dismiss other's feelings because it isn't how you personally feel.

I love my DS, as I will love this baby when it arrives. I pray every day that it arrives safely, I have had plenty of complications in this pregnancy and I won't relax until the baby is here.
It is the joy of my life to be a mother, but I still loathe being pregnant and I'm not going to apologise for that.

captainbarnacle · 27/02/2011 14:40

Sorry - I didn't think this was a 'discussion' about hating pregnancy? It was a safe place for us to let off steam we wouldn't normally do IRL due to not wanting to offend or irritate.

Fine that lots of people dont share your viewpoint and are trying to explain why - but this is not an "AIBU to hate pregnancy?" or other such thread which has asked for your opinion.

Like joolyjollyjoo and georgimama have said - you wouldn't tell the PND ladies to pull themselves together and be glad they've not had a miscarriage instead. So please don't do the same here.

It's inappropriate.

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 14:42

I dont think I have dismissed anyones feelings. I have said "You have every right to moan about being pregnant, I am sure I will moan about it too at one point"

Just trying to defend those who have been attacked for expressing a different view (we dont hate pregnancy)

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 14:44

Just offering a different perspective, if you are happier moaning, then moan away!

captainbarnacle · 27/02/2011 14:45

This is not a discussion thread - it asks 'anyone else hate pregnancy?' If your personal answer is "no" then it's clearly not for you!

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 14:55

your post came up on my screen under the title "Results of Search - 10 Discussions"

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 27/02/2011 14:58

mummyabroad - imagine that the thread title was 'has anyone else experienced bleeding in early pregnancy?', which is a thread that I posted when I was about 8 weeks.
I expected (and got) replies from others who had been in the same situation. I would have been if someone had turned up saying 'no I didn't, but don't moan about it - at least you know you can get pg' or something similar.

captainbarnacle is right, this isn't a discussion thread asking for differing viewpoints, it is a thread for people who don't like being pregnant to come and have a moan!

mummyabroad · 27/02/2011 15:51

I have said "You have every right to moan about being pregnant, I am sure I will moan about it too at one point"

louisesh · 27/02/2011 16:47

perpetuallypregnant I posted a tiny insight in to my experiences i didn t say you would have a stillborn baby but just the fact that this happens 17x a day.

Shame if this information upsets you but it happens.Thats the way it is unfortunatley.

mslucy · 27/02/2011 17:08

I've come a bit late to this but as someone who's had 2 miscarriages and treatment for unexplained infertility, I can and will say that I HATE BEING PREGNANT!!!!!!!

This is my third pg - conceived 2 weeks after a m/c and 2 days after my 40th birthday. I wrongly assumed I would never conceive again after a massive struggle conceiving DS2 (now 2). WRONG.

Combining work (albeit part time) with studying for PGCE, looking after 2 active boys, cooking, housework, lots of dull admin to do with being self employed and pregnancy is no joke. Especially when you are old like me.

I am bored of not being able to drink, have more than 4 cups of tea a day, lie on my back to sleep without getting hideous cramps.

Oh, and I absolutely loathe not being able to wear all my normal clothes - I refuse to spend more than the bare minimum on maternity clothes (am not exactly flush at the moment) so am trapped in a small number of outfits.

Everyone tells me I am blooming - but I feel BLAH. I am permanently grumpy and turn into a shouty old witch at the slightest provocation.

Roll on 10th May. I am having a C-Section (yay) - my one and only attempt to do it properly with DS1 ended in disaster - and getting my tubes tied at the same time.

Looking forward to meeting the baby (another lovely boy) - holding a newborn is the best thing ever and my kids are both great. But looking forward even more to NEVER BEING PREGNANT AGAIn

Georgimama · 27/02/2011 18:02

I didn't mention SPD. No idea what you're talking about.

It's one thing to say you do not agree with the premise "I hate pregnancy". That's your view and you're entitled to it. What you are not entitled to do is tell other people how they should feel about their pregnancies.

theQuibbler · 27/02/2011 19:14

Why would you say things like this, about miscarriages and stillborn babies on a thread full of pregnant women? Yes - the idea that my baby will be stillborn does upset me. 'm very sorry for anybody that it happens to - my mother had two stillborn children before me, so I am very aware that it happens and doubly scared that it might happen to me.

It's just inappropriate and plain mean - what on earth has it got to do with a few moans about not liking everything about being pregnant, sometimes.

I'm really upset now - crying upset. Stupid hormones, but there you are. Will hide the thread and go and do something else, I think.

saldoozer · 27/02/2011 19:29

I have to say that I also don't like being pregnant, i'm 30+4 and can't wait to not be pregnant. I have backache and really bad rib pain, i'm knackered and get breathless if i go up stairs. I can't do my job to my usual ability and really feeling the extra weight. I also don't like the restrictions on drinking, eating and rock climbing that pregnancy brings.

However i'm incredibly excited to meet the baby and really hoping nothing terrible happens. I also enjoy feeling it move about and talking to it.
I know some people have awful experiences getting and staying pregnant and I wish that they didn't.

This thread is for having a moan about pregnancy symptoms and it has made me feel a bit better

boredbuthappy · 27/02/2011 21:46

Yeah, the only 2 things I would say are great about pregnancy is the preparation (shopping, setting up baby things etc) and feeling baby moving. The rest is all utterly crap. I wouldn't even say that the eating of everything is that great, it's nice, but I wouldn't count it as a plus if making a pros and cons list. I'm in the last days of my pregnancy now and am totally sick of it, tired, in pain all the time, bored, impatient, extremely hormonal/emotional, CANNOT sleep, and scared. 40 weeks is a LONG time to wait, even with the prize at the end.

Sigh....

HumphreyCobbler · 27/02/2011 22:03

Lord, I had a miscarriage and lost my first son at twenty weeks due to a life limiting condition.

I still hate being pregnant, it sucks and is vile.

My children however are a constant joy and a blessing.

I really think talk of infertility and stillbirths do not belong on this thread, how insensitive and inapproriate.

Baby2b · 01/03/2011 20:56

MrsVidic I am still glad you started this thread. Due to my problems ttc and the potential for things to go wrong (I have been classed as a high risk pregnancy), it is often hard to discuss not enjoying my pregnancy in rl. I have been suffering from hyperemesis and in reflection have been feeling depressed.

I had a vision of being so grateful to be pregnant, as it is a blessing, and being the most amazing glowing pregnant person. In reality I miss feeling normal and feel like I need to pull myself together and feel happy, because most people asking me if I'm ok want to hear 'yes, I'm good thanks'.

Minor rants include:
not being able to stomach being in a supermarket or cooking
the worst wind ever
puking in public places and being looked at like a drunk (or if in London ignored :) )
not fitting into my clothes, but not big enough for maternity wear
an irrational craving for lucozade and space raider crisps.

MainlyMaynie · 02/03/2011 08:48

velvetcu and others, I appreciate where you're coming from as I have a history of infertility and miscarriage. I just used to avoid threads like this as I was so jealous of anyone having a pregnancy, however crap, but knew that people feeling miserable, sick and in pain need a place to moan.

I have pelvic girdle pain (a more expansive definition of SPD) and it's definitely shit. I think that my history prevents me hating pregnancy because of it though, I would a million times rather be in this pain than have the pain of infertility and pregnancy loss. I still feel completely blessed every day. Doesn't make it fun though :o

kathpeak · 02/03/2011 15:08

MrsVidic I'm glad you started this thread. I am pregnant, I feel rotten and I feel horribly guilty about feeling rotten or complaining about it.

Regardless of how easy or not it is for someone to get pregnant/stay pregnant/have a baby, it should be ok to complain and moan about the less than wonderful aspects of being pregnant. I reckon it is important for 3 reasons; firstly to let off steam and lower blood pressure, secondly for a bit of sympathy/camaraderie which is always important when in a new/scary situation, and lastly, to flag any potential health problems. If a woman was too intimidated to complain about some symptom or other, hers and the baby's could be put at risk.

theonlyhb2 · 02/03/2011 22:47

it's shit being pregnant. I agree. This is going to be an only child. I miss my mind!

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