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Original poster

Double-barrelled surnames!

36 replies

Rachey1969 · 16/09/2005 10:02

Friday morning thoughts! I'm mulling this over and I'd like some opinions please...

Has anyone given their babe one and regretted it later?

Are they cumbersome?

Did you hyphenate or just double up - did this cause problems spelling it/listing it alphabetically etc Did people just use the last name?

Thanks!

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Tommy · 16/09/2005 10:16

Our sons have a double barrelled surname. There's no hyphen (although people do insist on putting one quite often)but I thought it was better without the hyphen as then they could choose to use either one later if they wanted.
In alphabetical order they should be listed by the first one (mine )but I don't know about that yet as DS1 only goes to pre-school and they just use first names there!

fairyfly · 16/09/2005 10:19

yeh i regret it as i am not with father and its too long and nobody can spell it so it takes ten minutes to explain. Everyone picks and chooses which one they are going to use, including my family and his. I always have to try different formulas until records are found. Doctors, hospitals, dentists all pick their own.

ninah · 16/09/2005 10:37

yes, chose p's name then my name, no hyphen
p's family just use his name tho which I find insulting

sparlover · 16/09/2005 10:37

we gave ds a double-barrelled surname. no probs as yet!
the full hyphenated surname is on everything official (doctors notes etc)
but in general we just use dp's name

Original poster
Rachey1969 · 16/09/2005 10:57

Hmm, this is really interesting! If it's alphabetical then it would go by my name (first) but then if people drop that and just use the last one (his) then that seems a little unfair, inconsistent and pointless doing it in the first place.

This is further complicated by my other kids using (only) their father's (my ex-d) name (although I have reverted to my maiden name).

More thoughts please!

OP posts:
sparlover · 16/09/2005 10:59

i would have just given ds my dp'#s surname. but i have a friend in the same situation who got sick of people keep asking if she was her ds's mum!
so decided taht for official stuff he'd use the full surname, but for day to day use we'd stick to just the one because it's a bit of a mouthful!

suzywong · 16/09/2005 10:59

yes they are cumbersome, I wish I hadn't done it. I will have to change Aussie and UK passports and all that kerfuffle to sort it out, I just call the kids by their dad's name although officially they are double barrelled.

My advice, don't lumber your kids with a db name

I have both my name and dh's name as db name though but it's easier for me and quite frankly saves a lot of raised eyebrows

Tommy · 16/09/2005 11:02

ninah - your inlaws sound like mine!

I agree it can be cumbersome but I have friends from other countries who manage it perfectly well - I think it is just something that officials will have to get used to in this day and age.

Tinker · 16/09/2005 11:08

We've got both as surnames, not double-barrelled or hyphenated. Just use mine as the surname though. But wanted to be "fair". Didn't think it through properly. Should have just kept partner's surname as an additional middle name.

Original poster
Rachey1969 · 16/09/2005 16:30

Hmm, more opinions please!

OP posts:
cod · 16/09/2005 16:32

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Rachey1969 · 16/09/2005 16:36

Well, that's what the double barrelled thing is hoping to overcome, it just seems a bit exclusive to only give babe my name - at least everyone at clinic, school etc will know he's mine! Dp be asking for a DNA test next!

OP posts:
edam · 16/09/2005 16:46

My sister isn't married but gave her baby her partner's name (the father) because she wants my neice to belong to him - I think she feels it's obvious niece belongs to her what with childbirth and everything. Actually I think she wants to marry him but he hasn't asked.

We gave ds my name. We are married but each use our own surnames. I was all in favour of giving ds both names (no hyphen, just both names so he could choose which he liked to use as an adult or keep both). But dh said he hated his surname anyway and insisted on mine. Really confused the registrar... 'so you ARE married, but your surname is x and yours is y, and ds's surname is the mother's name...' she couldn't get her head round it at all.

Think dh's family disapprove but tough, frankly. My surname is nicer!

Chillynips · 16/09/2005 20:11

exaclty edam
if he mariied her he gets the name!

KristinaM · 16/09/2005 20:36

My children have both our surnames, not hyphenated. So they have given name + my surname + his surname. Most people just use their given name + his surname, but DD is only 5 and she insists they use her full name!!!!! At least they have the choice. And its no longer or more cumbersoem than lots of other names eg

Mary Smith Jones
Mary Smith-Jones
Mary-Claire Jones

stacijc · 16/09/2005 20:40

i think double barrelled names sound great!

BUT
if ur surname is umper and hes a lumper then just don't go there!!!

Blu · 16/09/2005 21:19

DS has a double-barrelled hyphenated surname.We went for the hyphen because we thought there would be problems with people not knowing whether the middle bit was his middle name, or the first name of his surname, and his files would alwayds be lost!
His name is BoyBlu Dp'name-my name, because our surnames sounded best in that order.
We didn't give him a middle name because we thought a double barrelled surname was names aplenty!
All three of us like it.. DS loves it, he seems to enjoy the fact that he has a name from both of us, and dp and I both have equal lack of hassle / confusion oficially - neither of us has a completely different surname from ds. Sometimes dp and i get called the whole of DS'sname in official correspondence.

motherinferior · 16/09/2005 21:25

Inferiorettes have first his, then mine, non hyphenated. I should probably have hyphenated them. Both names are unpronounceable and unspellable - his is Bengali, mine is Swedish - they take up a LOT of room (I've taken to just scrawling his on DD1's clothes to label them, which is a concession I hate to admit to DP, but his is shorter, six letters to my nine), and the Inferiorettes also have two other names to contend with.

So what the hell. We assumed from the beginning they (well, DD1 at that stage, obviously) would have both our names, we just argued about the order; and DD1 is very proud of all her four names. And frankly she just blends into the landscape of her SarfEast Lunnon school.

jampots · 16/09/2005 21:26

cod - dh and I werent married until the children were 5 and 18months - they got their dad's name and its just as well in my opinion as I wouldnt like for the children to have different names

mummypumpkin · 17/09/2005 22:03

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rodeo1 · 17/09/2005 22:17

Oh MummyP, but Master Git Pumpkin is a lovely name!

rodeo1 · 17/09/2005 22:23

My children both have dp's surname BTW, and it's never really come up that I've got a different surname to them, even now they're at school. Maybe one day I'll change my surname to his by deed poll - 1. When I've got the time and 2. When I can be bothered to make the effort!

mummypumpkin · 17/09/2005 22:26

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Tommy · 17/09/2005 22:32

how do you know that mummypumpkin? Just asking as on DSs' birth certificates their surname (i.e. my name, then DH's name) is written in capitals with no hyphen and their first names are written in lower case. There is no suggestion that the first surname is really a middle name and the registrar did not mention it which, you would think, they should/would have if it is not considered to be their surname.

mummypumpkin · 17/09/2005 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.